Disappointment Doesn't have to Last

"Easy. You're off somewhere in your head. Be here with me. You used to think you were a pretty good lover. You might think you're rusty and that's OK. I have enough lubrication to loosen up those parts that haven't been used in a while. If it helps close your eyes and make believe I'm an alien from another planet here to seduce you to help us populate Venus."

"Hell, for all I know you are!"

"I'm not. Nick, I'm attempting to make this as easy for you as I can. I love you. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's true. Not only that but I know everything about you. Ask me anything, I know the answer."

"Why do you love me?" I looked at her face and expected something. What I got was not what I expected. She dropped the dress and stepped close enough to me that her front was against mine. She looked in my eyes and said, "Because when you kiss me I can believe I am a goddess. Because when I look in your eyes I can see the possibility that isn't there in most eyes. Because I love the feel of your hardness when you're pressed against me. Because I have never felt safer than when I am in your arms."

I could not answer. I didn't have words and I did have her tongue in my mouth. For the first time in many years I wished I were a poet. Only a poet had a chance of describing what I was feeling.

"Finish unwrapping me, Honey."

She called me Honey. I had been called that before. Just minutes before the accident my wife had called me Honey. Hearing the words again hurt and sounded so very sweet to my ears. I believed her. I wanted to be Honey.

My hands used to be practiced and I took pride in the One-handed bra removal move I used to be able to do. This time I needed some time and both hands. The reward was seeing Nicole offering herself to my hands and mouth. The reward was accepting her offer.

Nicole's breasts were warm to my touch and firm. The areola and nipples were pink and when I kissed one it felt hot in my mouth. Nicole's arms went around my head and hugged my face to her breast. I worshiped at her breasts for a long while. She said I was unwrapping her gift to me. I loved Christmas, birthdays and any excuse for presents.

My hands caressed her back as I worshiped her breasts. Her hands caught mine and lowered them to her panties. There are certain types of multi-tasking that men can do. Attending to the removal of panties while also attending to the worship of breasts, are two tasks that men can do at the same time. I was out of practice but I managed to do both.

I don't know how she did it but I realized I was naked. Nicole was naked. The cabin was warm. The bed was right there. Nicole pushed me back on my back and climbed astride me again. This time I could feel her warmth directly and the arousal was about as big as it was possible for me to be.

Her lips met mine. Her nipples pressed on my chest. I felt the press of her wet pussy against my cock. I thought, "Thank you God!"

"You're welcome," Nicole said, in between kisses.

Every adult woman I have known intimately... no, every woman I have known sexually has known how to wiggle herself just so that she lines up her opening and my cock . Nicole did that wiggle and I felt myself being sucked into her wetness. Millimeter by millimeter she sat back on me until her pubic bone was pressed against mine.

Some feelings are so incredible that they cannot be described, only experienced. Being inside Nicole is one of those feelings. Holding her, kissing her, while being slipped in and out of her slowly is almost enough to have one pass out. I didn't let go quite that far but almost.

The first few minutes we didn't speak. We moved together and apart in concert, as though our lives had brought us to this moment and for just this event. Nicole sat up tall in the saddle and rode like this was for the championship buckle. Suddenly she stopped and leaned forward and looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't fucking. This is joining."

I nodded. She kissed me and got back in the saddle. I felt the feeling of impending climax and rolled us over so that I could be on top. I like holding myself up and watching as I penetrate my partner's body. When Nicole was beneath me I didn't raise up. I held her against me. We kissed and held each other and I slowly joined with her. Her legs wrapped around my hips. Our bodies pressed together from hips to the hair on our heads.

I felt Nicole's body start trembling and the little noises she made became louder. The noises our bodies made in coming together were the noises of physical joy. I wanted to laugh, to cry, to cum in joy.

Blond hair spread on her pillow and her head tilted back as a long low moan built to a loud almost scream. In the middle of that I came too.

As we headed toward normalcy I rolled on my side and Nicole snuggled against me. We kissed once and fell asleep.

When I awoke I knew I was covered and the fire was low. I could hear Nicole's breathing behind me and feel the warmth of her body touching mine. I melded into the experience and smiled. I felt better than I had felt since the accident.

"No. Don't go there," Nicole's whisper brought me back to snuggling in bed.

She was right. I had promised to love her for the weekend. I rolled slowly so I faced her and when I did she kissed me. Our other kisses had been soft and tender with an undercurrent of passion. This kiss was forceful and demanding! I was being swallowed by feelings, emotions, both hers and mine and I willingly let go of any control I thought I might have.

She explored me with hands that seemed to know where each and every nerve ending could be found. Her lips and tongue taught me expressions of lust mixed with caring and respect that I had only dreamt of. I was inside her and feeling her wrapped around me tightly. As she and I moved the sensations were all over my body. It was as if her vaginal walls were surrounding my soul and embracing my very essence. We joined slowly and then fast and hard. Our noises could have kept the neighbors awake, if we had any neighbors.

Three times during the night we woke and joined. We screamed as we came, and we laughed and cried too. My restrained emotions were released and I felt everything. In the morning I added wood to the dying fire and we snuggled together and watched the fire for a long time.

Hunger and the need to use the bathroom finally got me out of bed. I went into the bathroom and when I came out breakfast was on the table. I was amazed. I had been gone just long enough to pee and when I came back there were three eggs, sausage and toast on my plate and a hot cup of coffee next to it. Rather than ask questions that would have no answers I just kissed Nicole and sat down.

As we ate we talked.

"Nicole, you know I am full of questions."

"And, you know there are questions you cannot ask."

"This weekend is about me loving you isn't it?"

"No. Yes. This weekend is about love, yes. This weekend isn't about loving me."

"There's no one else here."

"There's you."

"This weekend is about loving me?"

"Yes."

"Perhaps I'm denser than most but I'm missing something important here."

"Ever since the day that your wife died you haven't loved anyone or anything. You closed off the part of you that could feel. Nothing got in. Your friends back in Colorado did everything they could think of to love you back to feeling again, and you ran away. You came here and locked yourself in a glass box with a computer and credit cards. You have no friends. You haven't even read the letters from your Mom in months."

"You know everything about me."

"I know more about you than anyone ever has. I came here to love you and to have you love life again."

"How am I doing so far?"

"You don't get a grade for this weekend. You will either pass or fail. If you fail I will never be back and you won't even remember this weekend ever happened."

"Tell me what to do. I don't want to forget this weekend, or you."

"Love me. Not just with joining, but with your heart and mind. Show me your world, the one you used to show Sara, filled with joy and wonder. Do you remember that world?"

"Get dressed. We need to go out on the porch."

"We don't need clothes. We won't be cold."

She took my hand and led me out onto the porch. All around us the snow fell. My truck had a white blanket six inches deep on it and the branches of the trees were heavy with snow. It was day but no blue sky, just white with falling silent flakes of snow.

"Take a deep breath Nicole. Breath in the smell of winter. As a kid it was my favorite smell that didn't come from the kitchen. My Dad and Grandpa couldn't smell it. Sara did. Can you smell it?"

"Yes!"

She stepped off the porch and held her arms out as she breathed in the smell of winter. Flakes of white fell onto her hair and stayed. She turned and faced me, smiling.

"Show me more of your world!"

I stepped to her and held her. I whispered to her ear, "Listen. The snow falls so quietly you can't hear it with your ears. You can hear it though."

I paused. I hadn't touched this part of me in a long time.

"I listen to the snow fall with my heart. It falls quietly to cover the things of the past and begin a new cycle of life. No hurry, no rush, no fanfare. The wind will come later."

"Yes!"

"This is the world I love. You and Sara were able to see and hear it too."

"Others can. Others do. Like you they don't talk about it much."

"My Dad said I was mentally ill, thinking I could hear the snow falling."

"So you stopped telling him or anyone else about the soft sound."

I nodded. Nicole came back onto the porch and into my arms. I turned her so we could look out at the falling snow. Off in the distance I heard a tree groan with the weight of snow building up on its branches.

"Did you hear that tree?"

"Yes. It loves to flex under the weight of the snow and soon it will shake it loose and stand tall again."

"Yes. I love the sounds of the forest. When I was a kid I would wander the forest almost every day, watching and listening."

"Have you ever wondered about the trees? Do they feel? Do they feel love?"

"Sara and I talked about that a few times. At first I thought no, but now I think yes, they feel love. When the tree we heard shudders and flexes it is experiencing loving being a tree. I think the word is rejoicing. The tree rejoices in being a tree."

"Can a man feel rejoicing?"

"You mean me. Yesterday I would have said, No. The rejoicing of my life was over. Right now, standing here on the porch holding you and hearing the snow and the forest I have to say, Yes!"

The sound of many trees shuddering and lots of snow falling from many braches sounded like a response to my Yes.

"The forest knows when love is here."

"I believe you."

Nicole bent away from me while holding her hips and ass against my hips. My hardness slipped inside her and we slid together standing on the porch. The soft sounds of my cock moving in and out of Nicole's pussy were almost as soft as the sounds of snow.

I held her hips. She held onto one of the support uprights for the porch. When I looked out from watching me penetrating her I saw a deer standing fifty feet away, watching us.

Nicole looked up and saw the deer too. She pushed back against me and moaned softly. A seven point buck walked up beside the doe and nibbled her neck. She walked away a few feet and he followed. Their dance of loving had begun as well.

"Cum inside me, Nick."

I felt my juices building pressure within me and I didn't resist. When the moment came I pushed in as deep as I could get and somewhere in the forest a buck sounded as I did.

Nicole turned and faced me. Her hands held my face in hers and we kissed. The kiss was soft and warm. When it eventually ended she said, "Thank you."

"Thank you."

I guided her back inside. The fire had not gone out but was low. I tended it and then found Nicole was ready to feed me again.

"Do you know what happened to my watch?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"No. You don't need a watch this weekend. When you are hungry, eat. When you want exercise I'll give you all you can ever want. If you want sleep you can do that too. What do you want with a watch?"

"I guess I'm in the habit of only eating at certain times."

"You haven't eaten me yet."

"I'd like to. Will you taste like strawberries there too?"

"Strawberries?"

"The first time we kissed I tasted strawberries. The taste is still there."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes! I wish I tasted as good as you do."

"Perhaps you do. You'll never know because you can't be me tasting you. However, I like how you taste."

I ate the lunch she made and we went to the bed where she lay back and opened her legs to me. Every move was the move of a dancer, smooth and controlled, sensuous and fluid. I knelt beside the bed and faced her open pussy. Her feet took positions on my shoulders and she raised her hips just a little as I leaned in to kiss her lips.

My lips tasted her pussy for the first time and I was amazed! She tasted just the slightest bit like strawberries! The unmistakable fragrance and taste of woman was also there. There is, in my humble opinion, no better fragrance or taste than a woman's pussy. And, like I've heard about fine wines, the taste gets better with age. Not the woman's age but she tastes wonderful the first time and ten times that good the tenth time I'm invited to the feast.

When I was a young man I went to church. I became friends with one of the ministers and we talked about a lot of things. One of those things was sex. The church taught that sex should be saved until marriage. The church taught that any sexual activity should be within marriage and be aimed at procreation. My minister friend quietly told me that the church taught all that to get and maintain control over the members. He believed that God didn't care who we coupled with, just that we did it in love and cared for the person. He taught me about being responsible and respectful in my sexuality. As my lips savored the taste of Nicole I remembered what he said so many years before. "Kneeling between a woman's legs is a close as a man can get to tasting Heaven."

"He was right."

"You hear my thoughts don't you?"

"Yes, and you can hear mine too."

My focus became to slowly lick and kiss her to an incredible orgasm. I sucked her lips into my mouth and ran the edge of my tongue along them. Nicole moaned and squirmed.

"My clit, Nick. Suck my clit please, Honey."

I released her lips and took hold of her clit with my lips. I sucked on it and touched it with my tongue. She moaned and pressed her pussy against my face. Her hands grasped my head and pulled my face tighter against her slippery places.

I could feel her body shuddering and shaking. She was close. Her thoughts entered my brain.

"I won't cum until you tell me to. This cum belongs to you. Drink me in. Have me."

My hands went along her sides and then grasped her breasts. She shook harder. Her noises were almost animal, almost without control. Almost.

"Cum for me now, Nicole!" I thought. "I love you!"

She stiffened and her legs shot out from my shoulders and tightened against my head. Her delicious nectar flowed out of her and into my mouth. She uttered a scream that was primal and joyful.

When she began to calm down she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me up from between her legs to up on top of her. My erection slipped inside her without thought and she began a dance that connected our bodies and souls together. Her legs wrapped around my hips and held me tight against her and deep within her.

I thought, "I love you! I love you! I love you!"

I heard her thoughts, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Our joining was slow and sensual. I touched as much of her skin as I could reach and she returned the favor. She twisted my nipples and I arched my back. I bent and we kissed.

"I love your lips."

"All of them?"

"Yes! All of them!"

We laughed and joined and kissed and touched. That was the goal. We were expressing love.

I have no idea how long we coupled. We eventually fell asleep, still joined. When we woke we cuddled together and talked. The fire was fresh and the cabin warm. We no longer used our voices.

"Tell me about when you learned about loving a woman."

"You already know."

"Tell me anyway."

"I had known about the mechanics of sex since I was eleven. I read books at the library. At seventeen I got a job working as a cook at a fast food place. One of the old kind with waitresses on roller skates and a shelf that hangs out the car window. Just after I turned eighteen I was working on a Friday night and we closed at one in the morning Saturday morning. I flirted with every skirt that worked there and all the ones that visited. For some reason I had little trouble getting a first date but nothing ever got serious."

"And...?"

"Just before closing I heard the back door open. Only the cooks and the owners had keys. I looked around and it was Mrs. Walker, the owner. Her eyes were red like she had been crying. She went right into her office and shut the door. I went back to work.

After everyone had gone home and the lights were off I cleaned up the grill and the rest of the kitchen. I went to the office door and knocked.

"Mrs. Walker, I'm ready to lock up. Do you want me to leave the breakers on?"

She opened the door. Her make up was streaked and she looked terrible. I had a clean white towel in my hand and without thinking I started cleaning her face. She just stood there and let me. When I had wiped as much as would come off without a good scrub I stopped.

"Do you have to go right now?" She asked.

"No. My folks are on vacation and I don't work until Sunday."

"Come in and sit down." I did. She sat on the small couch and told me her story. She had been in San Diego for two days at a conference and she wanted to come home, so she did. When she got home she walked in on her husband in bed with his secretary. She drove around for a while and ended up at her office.

I had no idea what to say, so I didn't. She started to cry again and I moved to the couch and held her. I didn't say anything. I just held her.

After she cried herself dry she looked up at me and asked, "Am I ugly?"

"No. You're a good looking woman."

"You're just saying that because I'm your boss. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"I won't lie to you. I've thought a few times about how lucky your husband is to get to see you naked. I think you are beautiful. Not the cute or pretty like the girls that work here or go to school with me, but beautiful like a woman should be."

"Have you been with any of the girls from your school?"

"Been with? You mean dated?"

"No, I mean had sex with."

"No. Not even close."

"My husband went all the way with his secretary, tonight!"

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

I had been sitting beside her with one arm around her shoulders. She stood and then sat right back down, in my lap. She curled up in my lap and wrapped both my arms around her. She put her head on my chest and cried some more. I sat still and held her. The crying changed to sobs and I cried with her.

She fell asleep in my arms. I think I did too. Suddenly we were awake and looking at each other.

"Did you say your parents are out of town?"

"Yup. They called me last night from Nebraska."

"Let's go to your house."

"OK. I'll lock up."

I did lock up and as we went out the back door I noticed the sky was starting to get light. She drove me home. It wasn't very far. She parked her car in the back yard, between the gate and the garage. I opened the back door and we went in. I gave her the ten cent tour and asked what she wanted to do.

"I want to take of all our clothes, take a shower together and then sleep with you."