Disappointment Doesn't have to Last

I couldn't think of a single objection to her plan. I started the shower and we showered together. As she undressed I watched the first naked woman I had ever seen in the flesh. She was more beautiful without her clothes than I had imagined she would be.

In the shower she began teaching me about a woman's body. We stayed in the water until the hot water started to run out. I dried her and she dried me. When she saw my single bed she asked, "When will your parents be back?"

"Two weeks from today."

She turned and led me into their bedroom. She opened their bed and we got in.

"First we sleep. When we wake up you get lesson number one."

Lesson number one was a lesson in foreplay. Kissing. Then petting and kissing together. Over the next two weeks every time I wasn't working I was with her. She taught me how to eat pussy and how to fuck. She taught me that there is fucking, coupling and joining. I thought she knew it all. I was wrong."

"Your one of the best lovers on this planet. You learned a lot from Cathy, and from every woman you have ever danced with, or kissed, fucked, coupled or joined. For over a year you have hidden that gift from everyone. Sad, really sad."

"I don't think I'm all that."

"You've never been kissed by you! I know what it does to a woman, inside."

"So, what do I do? Forget about my wife? The love of my life?"

"No! When you were inside me was that wrong?"

"No. I love you."

"You don't even know me and yet you do love me. You are rare Nick. You have a purpose here. You are a wayshower, a teacher, a guide. You can change the atmosphere here for love, if you will."

"Are you talking to me?"

"Yes. I know you better than you know yourself. I know who you are, who you have been and I know how powerful you are intended to be."

"I don't."

"Remember being happy?"

"Vaguely."

"You get to choose. You can be happy every day and every night of your life or you can live every day and night in disappointment."

"I get to choose? I choose to be happy. but I don't feel any different."

"You will. Remember Cathy? She was your coach way back in 1975. I'm your coach now. I'm here to teach you about happiness and how to spread the word."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"I want you to imagine something. Imagine walking into a room with fifty people in it. Every one of them wants to be with you. Every one of them wants to be with every one in the room. You are greeted with hugs and kisses. You are free to love every person in the room."

"Am I in some kind of cult?"

"No. You are at home. These are people who are waiting for someone to show them how to be happy, be a family. You are going to start the family right after the storm ends. It will come to you as easily as the snow falls."

"What do I do?"

"When you see an opportunity to love someone, do it. Don't think or worry about what others will think. Just love them."

"That's it?"

"That's what you have resisted for over a year."

"Come over to the couch with me, would you?"

She did. I had her curl up on my lap and we sat quietly thinking about loving, being loved, being Love. She taught me about love and life being the same thing and how what I've always wanted was to love people.

When I woke up she was gone. The cabin was cold. There was no firewood left in the cabin. I went out to my truck and it was all loaded, just as it had been when I left my apartment. I lifted the tarp and saw my suitcase and the quarter cord of wood. I got my coat from the cabin and got in the truck. The snow was powder and the wiper blades cleared the windshield easily. As I drove away I looked in the mirror and watched the cabin disappear.

At the highway I looked back again and the dirt road was gone, replaced with trees. I pulled onto the highway and drove back toward town. Halfway I saw two kids carrying armloads of wood toward a small house. I had a quarter cord of wood and gas heat at home. I pulled up to their house and asked them if they would help me.

"What do you need, mister?" The boy asked.

"I need to get the firewood out of my truck. Will you help?"

"We can't pay you for firewood."

"You ever met Santa Claus?"

"No."

"I haven't either but you need the firewood and I don't, so help me unload it."

They carried the wood to their porch and as they carried the last two arm loads I drove away.

When I got home I read all Mom's letters and found that there was a special reunion being held in three days and I felt the urge to go. I called the truck stop and asked for a week off. The answer was "No" so I quit. I gave them Mom's address to send my last check. I called Mom and told her I was already on the road.

When Mom and I walked into the room I realized that was the room where I would love people and begin what Nicole had said was my life's work, Love. Was Nicole real? Yes. Real has lots of possibilities, she was one of the best. Was the cabin really there? Yes. Is Love real? Yes. Love has more possibilities than being real.

Stop reading and go love someone.