All Comments on 'Discoveries of a Young Man Pt. 02'

Very good so far. I like how it is progressing.

Great story, good character development. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Still a good premise.

But still mostly setup.

Sex was so abrupt. Why?

Would have been better if it was more drawn out. Not immediately the handjob. And dialog duting the handjob would have been positive.

She'd notice him checking her out. Why not use that as a way to talk about sex. Did he think about her in a sexual way? What about her turned him on? Did he jerk off thinking about her? More than once? Often?

Did he like it when her hands were on him? She liked it too. Would he like her hands on him again...

And you wrote: "...if it gets you in such a complementary mood..." You meant COMPLIMENTARY.

Four stars.

Very well written man waiting for more

***Thanks for the follow-up.

Liked it! 5*. Yes...I bet the hand job felt awesome! I know what a woman's hand feels like when it unexpectedly wraps around your dick...and then strokes! Damn. NICE!!

Getting better, well thought out nice descriptions

Wonderful erotic story! 5 stars, i am hooked.

I like the story and your characters, I get a sense about where things are headed. However, I find the grammatical errors and typos and comma splices SO overwhelming - it completely ruins any flow a reader may have. It’s really bad. Have you taken writing courses in school? If not, consider doing so. Your imagination and story telling deserves to have a solid literary foundation beneath it. Good luck, keep on writing!

I didn't comment after reading Pt 01 buy you're a really good writer . I love how this turned out so far . I'm anxious to read more . Got me aroused when they parked in the empty lot . Every college kids dream to be with a MILF