All Comments on 'Do Not Pass Go 07 - Conclusion'

Good finish, he got the right lawyer, a nice woman and makings of a new family.

Tied up all the lose ends with a nice bow.

This was the epitome of a thankless job and it's easy to see why first author couldn't untangle the ensnared and ensnarled multiple subplots - legal, emotional , romantic dramas that required a master wordsmith . Quite often, especially in earlier supplentary installments, FTDS rose to that level, but Peter the well meaning but hapless husband and father was a stone in the storyline's shoe in terms of engaging POV.

I give props to the author because the original ' Do Not Pass Go ' begged for s conclusion. FTDS put a comic edge where possible on a heart rending melodrama in original incarnation. Was this the best choice ? I'm not smart enough to know.

All that's sure is the United States family court system are veritible snakepits where children's best interests take backseat to lawyer enrichment. I thank the author for sharing his hard work.

Finally an ending, though I really don't think it needed 4 chapters of dragged out children acting way older than they are and a father more interested in getting his rocks off than getting his kids back. sorry to read the other 'writer' in FTDS passed away.

I like how you put it all together so smoothly. Timelessly concluded. Corvette John in rainy Seattle

As only you can do it. Justice was served. And all who deserved a happy ending got one. As for the momster, well, fuck her anyway.

Welcome back

Five Stars

Welcome back. I'm sorry for the loss of your partner. I hope that you'll continue to write here, whether FTDS stories or your own.

it's an ending. didn't like this story much. and the shitty original surely didn't deserve 4 more chapters. thanks.

Revenge fantasies are never edifying but they have an enthusiastic audience. I am sure you will continue to do well.

Same old, same old. Always the old "revenge way" . Oh, did I already said that this is getting old.

I'm just glad to see that FinishTheDamnedStory isn't dead.

Had me worried a bit

Nice read

Hope to see more unfinished stories done up by FtdS in the future

Thanks

Seeing these commenters talking about "revenge", I'm sorry, but that just tickles my soul ! Well you bunch of Dudley Doorighter's guess what , in this big ol' mean world that we live in there's a 95% chance that someone is going to get shit on ! And even if it's a fictional story on Literotica, it's still nice to see the CORRECT one have to eat the shit entrée occasionally !

FTDS, glad to see you back posting. I read your non-erotic posting and my condolences . I hope that you continue to post in LW either as FTDS or your other secret identity . 5*'s

Cpprcrk

we missed you !! don't be a stranger k ? stlcris

WB FTDS ... Hope all is settle And going well this new year. With that said, very pleased you are back. This was a good read but one of your best. But I am still grateful.

Re: annony. Boring.. If what you said is true... I truely wonder why continue reading his stories if you are bored. Why torment self? Or just wanted to be a critic that has to be negative to have something to be proved.

There is a difference between revenge and retribution. There was no revenge here, there was only retribution. In this case it was the amount of punishment necessary to right the wrong perpetrated by a lying, cheating ex wife. For all those non-men and women out there, this is called justice. The fact that Peter was a nice guy and not a warrior does not make him a "wimp" and it does not mean that he and his kids should take the abuse meted out by the whore. It just means that he needed the help of some professional warriors to get him and his kids the justice they deserved. 5 again.

but aside from a great story, its an RIP for a fellow author, writer and story teller, TK U MLJ LV NV

I like the twist with the kids being in on it. Very nice angle. So many of these stories follow the same outline it seems. Thank you for shaking it up.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Nice to see the kids be the guiding factor in the revenge to get what everyone really wants.

Welcome back and thanks for sharing why the long absence. Sorry about your friend

But perhaps better said in a PM?

As for this story, so long overdue, I absolutely felt the satisfaction of completion. I think that IF circumstances had been different, and we could have read this "fresh" from reading the previous chapters, the momentum would have carried this enough to be viewed as a stronger finish. If someone goes back to read ALL chapters in order (including the original offering), I'd wager they would have a higher satisfaction rate then those of us today, who read this without going back, and were only dredging up year old MEMORIES of these out-of control kids, so busy with terrorizing their horrible ubiquitous whoring momster. And this, after being mood-colored by the revelation of the loss of FTDS's writing collaborator....

I did LOVE the competent use of metaphor in the guise of the Santa lawyer! Giving him the long awaited gift of (in Sugna's words) retribution, even if "magical", somehow seemed OK, considering the Santa image.

So, let it be said that it was better to have Finished the Damn Story! Perhaps, if your personal schedule allows, there will be the ability for you to find another collaborator for future endeavors. We can hope...

But even if this entry marks the turning point of a Swan Song event, rest assured that your entire body of work was genuinely appreciated all along and ALL THE WAY!!!!

Thank you SO MUCH!

really a nice effort, just too much time between installments causes a great loss of momentum and emotional impact. You are a good writer though, and this isnt horrible, just a bit disappointing to those of us who invested the effort on the other installments, and now forgot most of the details.

Missed you

Sugna's review says it best. Welcome back & make a conclusion with retribution for the courageous male lead with warriors & strong children to assist. Kudos! 5 *'s

WS

..You´ve earned quite a reputation within a short time. Your retreat is our loss.

Welcome back FTDS. Great ending to a story originally left in a piss poor state. Saddened to hear about your friend and writing collaborator :( He will be missed.

I have to also echo Sugna's comments. Very saddened to hear about the passing of your friend and collaborator. I'm glad, though, that you have once again Finished the Damn Story.

I'd also like to mention that I got a big chuckle when I read that you were the one who wrote the choosing zero followup in the comments of SwingerJoe's recent tale. I think it shows you have what it takes to come up with the ideas on your own, if you wish to carry on this fun Loving Wives tradition you began with your friend.

Thank you for your efforts.

Cog

and glad you finished the series. Actually a bit sad the storyline came to an end since the read was very entertaining. Sorry to hear about your collaborator. Hope more stories are coming from you and excellent work.

I think the moral of this story is that you need to have the better Shark when you get divorced. Good story. Glad you finished it. I read your Non-erotic piece. Sorry about your friend. I do hope you post a few more stories before riding off into the sunset. Better yet, I hope that you find someone with a lot of ideas so that you can continue to post, even if it's under another name. Good luck.

With as evil as Wifey was, she definitely got what she deserved. Hubby finally manned up with others urging him on and did the right thing for his kids. Santa Shark did his job extremely well, as all... good, and I use that term loosely, sharks do! Once again, FTDS, you Finished The Damn Story!

5 HUGE Stars!

Hubby handled his two girl friends well - I wondered how he would resolve that. He did need a real attorney (thank goodness his new wife pushed him on that). Best thing is FTDS wrote the shrew-monster perfectly - it was ALL hubby's fault! She did nothing wrong. Zero regrets or repentance. The children's characters were great. Well done FTDS - your Conclusion put a big old smile upon my ancient countenance.

Thanks to Pia for passing on her Lawyers name and getting a NEW one...

First time the Legal System did it right !! Damn it !!

Highly enjoyable - thanks very much.

Now,how can we translate this to reality ? HAHAHAHA

Good job, Loved it. looking forward to your next ending

Ive enjoyed the whole series especially the development of Traci, the glue that made the story come together. It makes me wonder if the author has had personal experience with a kid that smart, anyway great ending.

Well come back...Sorry to know about your partner in FTDS, but I already commented that in your text in the other category...About the story: a good ending...only this end could be the one chosen...All of them wanted it...The children needed it and the interest of children should always come first...4*

FTDS, I enjoy most of your tales, and this one is an instant classic! Wifey, the shit-freckled muppet fart, is pure evil and gets what she deserves. Hubby manned up, with plenty of people helping him out, and did right by his kids. Santa Lawyer had my LOL'ing. Good one there!

As far as evil Wifeys go, Jessie takes the cake! Narcissistic, sociopathic, pick the term that fits best. Loved how the kids took care of the BTB too. Just a fun laugh out loud tale!

5 HUGE Stars!

I thought it didn't go through when my internet hiccupped. I know the vote didn't count the first time, though. Ah, well. Two comments for you from me telling you how awesome this tale was, FTDS. Welcome back again!

First, so sorry to hear about "John". I have read all of your stories and the ones related to them; you were both a great team. This story was another great one. Hope you can get a few more out before "retiring". As always *****

You and John can be proud of your work, especially this one.

I am, of course, looking to the next one.

heard a rumor u might of kicked the bucket. glad to see diff.I like the ending.have u looked at troubiadour story vickie. ive read it 4 to 5 times and still fill something isnt right from the get go.

So happy to see this finished. 4* Sorry about your friend.

I guess the fact the mint julep judge died (ch 1 p3) was forgotten.

"Most importantly of all -- unless God truly hates me -- the next family court judge won't be a relic of the Confederacy. Well, at least I won't get that one; he died about two weeks ago, my guess choking to death on the ice in his mint julep."

I guess we will never know why Jessie turned into a monster, but I can't help but wonder if Mr. Floor Mat husband didn't facilitate her metamorphosis to the evil person she became. Even at the end, After he had won, he's still making concessions. She was correct in thinking she could do better, she just went about it in the wrong way. She was clever, and ruthless, and determined, but she wasn't very intelligent. Or at best, it was a very narrow intelligence that drove her to success in her profession, but left her a failure as a wife and mother. FTDS gave us what the original author lacked, closure. Sure it could have been more imaginative and complex, but at least its finished.

I had thought sure as hell that Jessie would go for psychological evaluation, and it would be revealed that she started her personality change when she went for some help with depression. She was placed on borderline psychotropic drugs by a predator psychiatrist, who started fucking her on the side, and convinced her that family life was beneath her status and intellect. From there she just slid into the life style of the cheating professional, coping with the baggage of husband and kids, but living life in the fast lane. Once her adultery was discovered she could not accept that she, the genius, was actually played for the fool, so she embraced her slut life as her own idea, and followed the course of punishing those who loved her, while giving herself to those who only wanted to use her. I thought in the end we would see Jessie under treatment for her psychotic behavior, while Peter and family regretfully moved on to a better future with Pia and her family. Same end, just a different way of getting there.

Thanks again. I hope you are doing well.

I have been waiting for this story for a long time,and you didnt even gave us answers to most important questions.

Four stars from me my friend.

Much better than that other Chapter 7 that someone did. Good ending to a decent story. Why did Jessie become a monster? Who cares, she's a bitch and we all probably know women and men who would fit her description.

we appreciate it.

here's to hoping for more in the future

Well, I said this would be popular and I got that right. For those who think this is not a revenge story, just have a good look at where the wife winds up. For those who relish revenge stories, cherish your little hatreds while the grownups get on with something constructive.

You have rescued another story. I see FTDS I know it will be good. Thanks for another one. 5.

I did not read the original stories, so I do not know of any dramatic changes between the original and this.

That being said, a few things

1) I enjoyed it. Quite a bit

2) Please learn to follow your own details in the story. The Judge said $1600 and then, a page later, it's $1400. Peter told Pia that he would NOT be sleeping with Liliy on that final date...and yet he did. So I get to choose between the author screwing up or this guy being a lying scumbag. Decisions, decisions

3) Every time the story shifted to Peter, I wanted to take a nap. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but he essentially did nothing. There was no motion there except gratuitous fucking three premium women at the same time. I suppose good for a porn site but honestly, I didn't like him as a character because he was boring. But this may be a fault of the original writing

4) I very much like that you acknowledged that Traci was just like Jessie

5) It would have been nice to actually SEE the brilliance of the mother. She can't guess her credit cards were compromised? She can't see what a loser her mother is as a care giver and get a new Teutonic Nanny ridding herd on the kids? SHE can't but THEIR rooms?

The mother was something to be beaten, not a worthy adversary.

"Have a good time. I don't want to know about it.” – Read: “Fuck her one last time if you need/want to. Just don’t tell me!”

"Understood. Maybe we can go dancing sometimes when I'm in town." – After a reasonable break, if they are all as mature as they SEEM to be, MAYBE Pia can meet Lily, and if all goes well she can be a family friend.

LOL, slapping Traci in front of the judge?! If the judge had a SLIGHTEST doubt about his decision, that would put it to rest!

The definition will no longer apply:

parasite

(pār'ə-sīt')

An organism that lives on or in a different kind of organism (the host) from which it gets some or all of its nourishment. Parasites are generally harmful to their hosts, although the damage they do ranges widely from minor inconvenience to debilitating or fatal disease. ◇ A parasite that lives or feeds on the outer surface of the host's body, such as a louse, tick, or leech, is called an ectoparasite. Ectoparasites do not usually cause disease themselves although they are frequently a vector of disease, as in the case of ticks, which can transmit the organisms that cause such diseases as Rocky Mountain spotted fever and Lyme disease. ◇ A parasite that lives inside the body of its host is called an endoparasite. Endoparasites include organisms such as tapeworms, hookworms, and trypanosomes that live within the host's organs or tissues, as well as organisms such as sporozoans that invade the host's cells. See more at host.

noncontributing, aNONEymous posers... er posters, are the parasites here... no, they're the pathogens here, a parasite does no damage to the host.

FTDS, keep them coming, the stories that get left unfinished are endless and many need a resolution, even if what you have the characters do is not what i would have done.

always worth the read, thanks!

RA

IT would seem that an anonymous commenter is a parasite by your own warped definition. They live off commenting on other people's stories, nothing they created themselves. Commenters like you, who don't even address the story, provide nothing for the host, surviving off their own bile.

For that matter, is there anyone who isn't parasitical in some way? Do you grow your own food? Drill and refine your own gasoline? Make your own clothing? Build your own house, after fabricating each and every component? Are anonymous belly-aching whiners like you just a Literotica parasite? Obviously, you're too ignorant to have any other purpose in life.

If you want to make ignorant comparisons go ahead. It's likely that in your own foil-hat world, you actually believe that FTDS travels across the country, sneaking up on unsuspecting weak writers, and sucks their blood. Much as you cling to your wife's lover, sucking his cock dry, you little parasite.

As for diseases, I can firmly say you make me sick, and apparently a lot of other people too, by the number of responses to your stupid rant. Get a life, and produce something on your own. Other than the bleating of your voice.

Why Hide? as for the story really liked the way the Characters were developed. the Kids would have gotten an Ass Whooping in my House our Mom would not stand for the crap they Pulled. But then my Mom and Dad were Happily Married until Dads Death. He my Dad would have stuck up for Mom any ways he Believed in Corporal Punishment. But left it to Mom. He was Afraid of losing Control.

Thank you for your hard work in finishing this story. It can't be easy what you do to finish stories, but it is sincerely appreciated.

It has been an interesting read over the past sveral years. The collaberation between a "storyteller" and an "author" in finishing other poorly written, poorly constructed, and otherwise broken tales has been refreshing and a much needed missing link here at Literotical.

As the final swan song for the colaberation team that made up FTDS this story's end was perfect. Thank you very sincerely.

Now Author /2, I hope to hear someday (sooner is better) that the new collaberation team, FTDS - The Next Generation (or FTDS 2.0), is born.

Others, specially the Anonys, may not care but I think the vast majority of readers and authors do appreciate your works and believe as I do. You do fill a void, magnificently.

Best wishes on your future endeavors and condolences on your personal loss.

....I can say that, because the original storyline was somewhat damaged in its nature and intent. In the original are you roll I was completely gave up, not so much that he was a whim, but that he didn't seem to know what to do or how to go about protecting himself and his children. He was steamrolled, no doubt and the whole thing was got wrenching and sickening.

But now with the conclusion in this last chapter is all come back around in the combined efforts of kids and daddy have made things right. You almost never see such a thing in the real world but any time it happens with her in the story or real life it's great! And I'm not speaking specifically about the wife being the bad guy, on those occasions where daddy is the asshole, it's good to see him get punished properly too.

Thank you.

Nice to see this finished, Peter really is a wimp and naive to boot, that line about trust in the system made me laugh.

I ended up liking Traci's POVs a whole lot more, she's just awesome sauce :-)

Heh, Santa Lawyer, more like Santa Shark; He makes your wishes come true, and rips apart anything that he chows down on. :-)

Fantastic job of saving an unfinished so-so story. I loved the kids in this one. They saved the day. I really have a hard time believing that there are mothers like this, but every day when I read the newspaper, they are beating and killing their children, so I know they are out there. Welcome back and Thank You for a very satisfying ending.

First, A big thank you for all your work. I do not always agree with the directions you go, but have always enjoyed the ride. And I sincerely hope to see more eventually.

This last continuation rates a sentimental 5.

RIP to John

While I have never joined Lit officially I have started to leave a signature on all my posts.

Til next time

JimC

Excellent conclusion to the original story. I actually had already read this once before, but I enjoyed doing it again. The "momster" was quite shallow, and it is hard to feel any satisfaction with a character that is so self-centered and delusional. But to the credit of this author, that was how she was set up in the original story. Good job staying true to the characters.

“I haven't been with her since we started going out.” – Maybe there’s a time line issues between the various chapters, but that’s not EXACTLY true, is it? Didn’t he just see Terry the last weekend he was back in Baltimore?

“thousands of dollars at a time” – THOUSANDS of dollars, when pretty much NOTHING is happening? DEFINITELY fire her ass!

“who am I to stand in your way?” – Especially where SHE wasn’t prepared to make the commitment that would open up at least the POSSIBILITY of competing with Pia.

In the end, Pia has a lot more going for her: local (yes, they're both local but Lily is often out of town), with minimal scheduling issues, similar personal situation, allowing for more understanding of his issues.

“I'd been told they rarely changed judges” – Didn’t they say in an earlier chapter that the original judge had died?

"Like I would want to have anything to do with those evil little traitors. They're monsters.” – God, what a waste of human(?) flesh!

“I'm supposed to pay you for screwing me over?” – Hey, it happens to the HUSBANDS of cheating wives here all the time, YOU at least deserve it!

I understand they can't get married tight now, and they are completely committed to each other, but why not have some sort of a "commitment" ceremony to formalize their relationship?

@FD45 – He didn’t exactly say he WOULDN’T be sleeping with Lily, just that he didn’t think he would.

After reading the 1st 3 chapters and seeing there wasn't a 4th, I really didn't care

much. I mean, the story up to that point was a train wreck. A wimp husband, a

bitch of a wife, an idiot lawyer and a snake of a lawyer. But then FTDS got hold of

it, and in his inimitable way, righted that train wreck, got it back on the tracks, and

turned a steaming turd into a diamond.

Kudos to FTDS. One of his best efforts, EVER

I think the Dad was still a slow starter in this one too, but he had to be to stay true to the original characterization. Now, I did like the fact that he started to pull his head out but I don't see him sticking with the same lawyer the whole time. Had to be evident, even to him, that his original lawyer was either complicit or completely out of her league. Loved the part about Thomas being a cross between Santa Claus and a great white shark. Initial camouflage is a good thing for a lawyer and in a court battle don't we all want the shark at our table?

This is a fine re-introduction of your writing on this site. Thanks for sharing this with us. 4 stars because no one lost a limb. Blood in the water might have gotten a 5, but who knows. Right?

I think that you (both of you) really hit the right angle to finish the story with the kids being the remedial agent.

I know you guys try to match the style, pace and length of the original, unfinished, stories and you(pl.) amply succeeded at that with this submission

Unfortunately, I quickly tired of the incessant bickering strife, pugilism and pace of both stories. I caught myself skimming ahead in the text longing for the next plot advancement. Just as I did with the original. In that you were successful. (Sigh.) :o)

Let me be clear - your story exhibited the craftsmanship that has been the hallmark of your collaboration. It was just not my kind of story.

Here's hoping the Muse will channel some of your partner and friend's inspirations for further adventures of FTDS.

-- An appreciative Erotfan

The oldest will probably be a whore, or a lesbian(I doubt it) when she grows up thanks to her mom being a whore she naturally being slutty and her sister praising her slutiness, regardless of the intention for the praise.

The mid child will now probably be a power-hungry controlling bitch. We've already seen her ability to manipulate others sacrifice wellbeing for her own intentions and her fake love. She may say that she loves her family but with the manipulation, the minor barely perceptible self reflections that didn't even sound like she was trully worried about the harm she caused her siblings but instead at the prospect of losing. It didn't even sound like she cared for her dad, more like tolerated. Same with practically everyone in this story except maybe the slutty daughter, she actually sounded like she loved her dad.

The boy has more or less been turned into damaged goods. His versions of women amount to an alcoholic smoker, a cunning whore, a young stupid slut, a possible sociopath that more or less forced him into becoming and emo occult pyro depressed slave, and a prison warden in the shape of a cps officer. His father is the closest thing to a cuck without being one that I've ever seen. He will probably never have a good relationship with a woman ever. He'll probably end up gay.

For the dad his ending was fairly good while doing nothing more than throwing money at his problems and sticking his dick in open vaginas.

Yes I know this is fiction (or at least that's what the authors say) but still. Is it just me or is this story waaaaayy too fucked up?

Did that sound like a good ending to anybody? I guess it's a better ending than the alternative but this was more or less a lose-lose situation. At least it was well written I guess?

I think this is a great finish to what started out as a pretty good story. 5 Stars, no doubt, and thanks and kudos to FTDS for a job well done.

Wonderful really loved this story.Hes was a bit of a prat but hey ho.

I’m so glad you decided to finish this story. You more than did it justice! Look forward to reading the rest of the stories you guys have finished. I think his passing is a loss for us all. Hope you’ll consider continuing the work you and your colleague started?

Not a bad ending, though I wish this author hasn't been as true to the original author's characterisation of Peter. He was just too much of a wimp, to the point that a part of the problem was him.

Why wasn't the bitch fired from her all to important research job? Especially after

being sent to jail. Banging students. etc etc etc.

But Peter is still a wimp, Jess is still a slut and overbearing and after her last comments about the kids, he should have racked her over the coals! Yes, make sure she would keep her job so she could make the payments! But only $120,000.00 from all the lawsuits???? The school where Jess worked should have payed three times that amount, especially since at least one of the guys she was fucking was a colleague!

But this was much better than the original story!

As an avid reader and recent contributor to Literotica, I confess that I truly miss the contributions that FTDS made. His efforts helped to extend and develop many stories written by others in an attempt to fill in the gaps as he saw them. He never took another's original tale and tore it to shreds substituting his own but respected those authors' works and merely added his own 'finishing touches'. I for one am saddened by his passing yet I am pleased to see that his 'extras' still adorn the Loving Wives section. Vale FTDS...RIP!

FTDS was TWO people, not one, and only one has passed. The other is quite lively, and active. Who knows, maybe FTDS will find another running mate and we'll see FTDSII. That's my hope, anyway. We morn the passing of the half who is gone, but the other half is alive, well, and still around.

Good finish!! @Tiger, Anony(1/04) and others . . . We hear and read about lawsuits at institutions, but those are a minority, or when harassment is involved. The fact is, many people hook up with work colleagues at most places, most of the time . . . and I read several years ago it is even higher in medical and educational fields. It is not illegal, and many times the work place stays our of it. In fact, any business going too hard on anti-fraternization policies can find themselves with harassment suits for interfering in employees sex lives. It usually has to be really bad with significant proof available for action to be taken . . . most of the time. As for jail, a lot of good people . . . very good people . . . have spent some time there. Protesters from educational and even research facilities are not unfamiliar with this.

Secondly, Peter, his lawyers, and even the kids don't want Jessie to lose her job. They want her money for years to come. The last thing they want is to cut off her income.

Thirdly . . . Yes, Peter was not terribly assertive, he wasn't a complete wimp, but he wasn't strong, and as some pointed out, somewhat boring. But it's not about him really, he's more of a side-show. The finish, as written, was about a battle between two very strong women - one selfish and controlling, the other coming into her own, and very much her mother's daughter . . . and dangerously powerful and manipulative for a thirteen year old. You just hope as she grows, she uses her powers for good. At any rate, these two faced off. There were a couple of other powerful women in supporting roles, maybe another powerful male . . . but most of the rest were just along for the ride . . . including the father, Peter . . . who was probably a gentle and good man . . not terribly strong, not great, but good and loving. The family would get it's strength in more than adequate amounts from Traci, Pia, and to some extent Jenna.

Finally, the only thing I missed a little was Jessie ever realizing her faults and taking at least some responsibility. I like growth, even when it's too little too late for some.

Brilliant story telling. Traci is a superb and terrifying creation that you definitely want on your side, and the Momster, Jenna and Tommy aren't far behind.

Okay, Peter is a bit of a wimp, but he's the sort of decent guy who can only really function if he has a good woman at the helm - and he seems to have found one in the end.

One of the best stories I've read on literotica.

Wonderful finish to this story. Could have kept reading another five chapters. Keep going, there are so many stories out there that need your finish.

The 13 year old was written as an adult sociopath with an odd fixation on her father's testicles.

You gotta love kids. Like Traci said , mom if you just kept your legs closed.

Brilliantly written, I neglected my dog the whole story.5 🌟

how i wish the author would come back and finish some stories !!!!!!!!!

Chur bro awesome story

Always enjoy those children who seem like 40 years old emotionally .

I'M SURE GLAD I READ THE INTRO, I USUALLY DON'T SO I HAD TO GO BACK AND READ THE FIRST SERIES AND SURE GLAD I DID. EXCELLENT STORY! SURE WISH THE AUTHOR WOULD COME BACK AND WRITE MORE. HE'S BEEN INACTIVE FOR THREE YEARS. SURE HOPE HE'S DOING OKAY!! THANKS AUTHOR!

Again you did a great job.

Great story, but I wouldn't have given her any mercy.

The evil bitch acted like a slut, then used the unfair legal system to fuck over the loyal husband. He should have just laughed in her face when she complained, then watched as the same legal system she'd abused squeezed her until the pips squeaked.

Holding off on getting remarried until he'd ground every last bit of alimony out of the despicable whore was a nice touch. It would have been a nice twist if he'd managed to get Jessie fired from her precious job the day after he got his last alimony/child support cheque. I'm sure Traci could have managed it... that girl was a badass!

One of the best finishes ever. The kids took Jessie down hard and no LW bitch ever deserved it more.

If money was tight as he said,where did he get the five thousand dollars as a retainer for Santa Claus?.As for fucking Pia four times in ninety minutes,get real.

"Life is good, and all it took was a little patience and trust in the system."

The kids did it all.

The basically good premise gave you an opportunity to produce an excellent ending to a story left in limbo.. You gave the original author a great finish without his expending any additipnal effort. I'm tickled that you allowed Peter to redeem himself by reclaiming his kids and having his ex finance a great college fund and a larger number down payment for a fabulous home for Pia and Peter down the road. Traci deserves a story of her own.

Traci go girl

I know FTDS isn’t around anymore, but this was excellent. He took a good story and knocked it out of the ball park. Traci was one of the best characters ever. He could have been a little stronger, but he was portrayed as a decent guy who loved his family. That’s not the worst thing in the world. Thank you

This as a great story. Lot's of humor throughout. Only thing missing was to get the concluding thoughts from Tracy after moving in with Pia's family. I still gave it a 5.

God damn I miss FTDS and his efforts to complete those unfinished tales. This one in particular was a ripper and I though dove-tailed beautifully into the original author's original submission. A seamless transition. God bless the guy for his efforts for readers on this site. We owe him a great deal for his skill and tenacity.

This is the best story I've read yet from you.

The funniest and yet most believable.

Well done!!

I wish someone would take up FTDS's banner.

The writing was good and frankly its true there are to many dam stories unfinished.

That FTDS is a true West Texas boy; "His grin made him look less like Santa, and a lot more like a Great White. I was glad he was on my side." He has to have been watching the San Antonio Spurs for years, the description of that grin is pure, unadulterated Gregg Popovich.

I do have to agree that it would have probably been something to see the last page rounded out by wise words from Traci. Even without them this was a truely fine rap up to a disappointing original story. Signed: BTW

Like traci, dad though was most definitely a wimp.

I didn’t read the original chapters, and don’t want to. I feel like I pretty much got all I needed reading FTDS’ ending. Loved it. I fall in love with characters, and Traci, is going into my list of favorite characters. P.S. Some talented soul should take up F.T.D.S. Mantra, he was truly doing gods, work. Righting wrongs and finishing good ideas. Any takers?

A wimp to the very end. NOT a likeable character. One can almost understand why the bitch cheated and avoided him. Feel sorry for the kids. Very well written, so 5* s.

That ended just as it should have, except for.him easing up on the cheating bitch's torment.

I regret that FTDS is no longer able to finish and/or correct stories that really need this style of attention. This one was a bang-up job.

This much-needed conclusion left Peter exactly where he was in the original... ineffectual and powerless.

If it had not been for his daughter, there never, ever would have been a good outcome. Brilliantly constructed action to resolve an infuriating... though realistic... original.

Peter and Pia's life will be full and happy, and they should grovel at Traci's get for making it so.

Long story. Frustrating at times, but at the end the conclusion left me feeling settled.

My thanks, FTDS, though I know your contribution cannot continue. Well done. You are missed.

Yes

The whole storyline was fine except that he was such a wimp, dragged his feet and put off doing the right (court) thing for his kids.. Also, we didn't need to read/hear about all his lady friends, Theresa, Lily, etc. The only one we needed to read about was Pia. And in keeping it real, how can a little 13 yo be that street smart. Traci was the star in this story, Peter was mostly useless but needed, while Jenna and Tommy were stars in their own right. Jessie was the perfect bitch mother. Overall, this was an enjoyable read. 4/5 stars.