by YKN4949
Please continue this story. Let them finally have their happy lives. I agree with you about writing stories is more important than trying to impress the english teachers we have on this site. I want to read stories that reflect true feelings. Keep up the good writing.
Fun premise and a very hot story - I felt the characters were well developed and the dialogue was natural. Keep writing! - Timeinaspace
This story was hot! I could feel the sexual tension between them. The build up was very arousing. Loved it. Keep up the great writing.
Wow! this is the second or third story of yours I've read and I think the best. To hell with the little errors, although I did notice - so what, its the story that counts. There are some folks who have said that your work is too long, don't listen to any of that, you say what needs to be said - and that's why I read them. Thank you and keep up the good work.
I think I just found one of the best written stories on this site. I went from goosebumps , to extremely moist, to my eyes welling up at the end. Your descriptions of their realization of their feelings, to their sensual, beautiful lovemaking is beyond amazing. Please continue to submit stories, I can fully see your rise to the top of all authors. On a minor note... There were some editing issues, but it did not detract from the the story.
You are really good at this. Pls write more.. Especially lesbian stories ;)
Great character development in a short story. A truly entertaining and amusing premise with the meeting in the restaurant. Thanks for a fun story.
The extra work for the emotional content was well worth it! Well done.
I think you got the balance just right - lots of emotion and build, awkward moments and truly delicious sexy bit at the end. Thank you x
I loved the characters and the build up. In short I loved this story. Haven't read any of your other stories to date, but will soon be gobbling them up! Keep on writing lesbian stories! x
God Damn good story. I loved it. Near perfect or perfect, or not so perfect, I enjoyed reading it all the same. Sorry, but I only read lesbian stories, maybe because I am one, but what I love the most is one that has a happy ending. I kind of think I would like to read the final chapter to this story, though I know it's never going to be written. One can wish and dream. Thank you for the wonderful story.
It was pleasure reading this story, the ending seemed fitting it almost seems like ther might be more to it or it just the end either way I like how you have both of your character come to you there realization together oh the sex wasn't bad either.
It was an amazing story, u did a very good job. I will read more of your work.
God, reading this felt like coming home somehow. I want to cry it was so beautiful.
I loved it. It flowed smoothly and was well put together. I hope there's a part 2 in the works.
Thank you, this was just so sweet and I think that it got to me since I've been in just that situation myself. Not realising that girls are my thing until someone showed me what I'd been missing. :) please keep it coming.
A great idea, beautifully realised and very enjoyable to read. The emotions were transferred to the reader powerfully. This will stand on its own as a masterpiece but I do agree that a sequel would bring a smile to a lot of faces.
You can read and read all the books and stories in the world then all of a sudden you come across a gem of a story like this. This is the most amazing and breathtaking story I have ever read (and I read a lot). Keep writhing stories like this please. Looking forward to more.
It is such a treat to discover a gem of a story like this. I came to the site looking for quick porn and instead found a wonderful loving story!! Well done. Please continue this great story!
Thanks for the great read. I would have liked to see Ash and Kim have a short conversation at the end.
I really enjoyed this story. I would love to read more about these characters. The interaction between Ash and Kim after the date, Possibly Ash and Riley building a life together, Riley coming out to her family, maybe even getting in touch with Heather and apologizing and reconnecting, add to that possible tension there. I can so a whole lot of situations where these two could have difficulty if they're going to stay together and I want to know how you envision their story continuing.
You did an amazing job. The connection between the characters was great, and it felt like I was experiencing everything there with them. The sex scenes were perfectly intimate. I'll be reading your other work :)
Sweet, dash of raunch, well written.
The *Oh, I'm a lesbian* realisation was perhaps a little contrived, but worked very well as a plot device, and was introduced smoothly - it works. Nicely handled on the emotional content, good work with the foreshadowing as it tied it together and made the situation plausible.
Overall a really enjoyable read, thanks!
Great writing. Your great with emothions. I know what its like to be oblivious to bring gay. I think you grabbed thr filling very well.
P.S.
I'm glad I only had to go through high school to figure that out.
I really enjoyed this story. So believable. The pace was perfect. I'll be reading more of your work. 5 stars!
But a tender, sweet, passionate story of love and self-discovery. Very well done and beautifully written, you can't help but root for these two ladies to come to grips with themselves and decide to stay together. I would love for you to continue this story. Thank you!
This is the first of your stories that I have read, but rest assured that I will now read the others. After the extremely original plot and the very, very well narrated sex, I can't imagine anyone criticizing your work.
A fantastic offering!
This is a beautifully conceived story. The plot device is excellent and unfolds in a delicious manner. Impressive work. However, I do find it interesting that you refer to this work as "porn." You sound like one of your characters downplaying her own virtues. The human drama played out on these pages merits a place well above the level of mere porn.
I absolutely loved this. Awesome character development from beginning to end. Loved the personalities and the dynamic between these two. I can personally relate to hiding from your real and other people taking notice of something you can't even realize. Anyways, I would like to see how their relationship plays out. Keep writing!!
YKN,... I thoroughly enjoyed this story! Seven pages was a lil long for me to start to read a 'story', but once I started, I couldn't stop! Fantastic! Question for you, for you to write a story like this, did you have to 'sex'perience another women to get the right feelings, emotions, etc? I'm looking forward to part 2 ( possible dragging 'hot Kim' into a threesome!...)
I loved the story: and brilliant premise and wonderfully told. The characters of Ash and Riley are hugely engaging and I'd love to see what happens next. The sex is very erotic too, all the more so knowing the girls emotional background. Thank you.
There are only two problems I had with your story is 1:where's chpt 8 and 2: I stayed up all nite finishing your chapters and was almost late for work. Truly I loved this submission and I'm looking forward to more from you.
OK
So the storyline is really good, and the sex scene is truly hot.
But Jesus. Please do try to filter the spelling mistakes and simple typos. It makes reading the story harder, and instead of concentrating on what is happening, I work on deciphering what you meant.
It is much better to finish the story, let it rest for two days, and clean the bugs before submitting.
This is a beautiful story. It transends its roots as a piece of erotica to become a deep and moving story of love and humanity.
Exceptional story. Great build. Very hot and emotional. I was hooked.
I really enjoyed reading this story, you really made the characters feel real.
Wouldn't definitely be pumped to read some form of follow-up as well!
I think you crafted such a beautiful story rich in description and emotion I think you cheapen the story by calling it just porn please add a follow up
I agree, porn makes is sound like less than it is.
Thanks for a very good read. I wasn't so sure given your description of people's prior comments regarding your work, but I would love to read more about Ash, Riley, Kim, and Eric. Maybe a story outside this category from Kims point of view, and her relationship with Eric.
Well thank you again. And please continue this story.
please make another one like this or continue this one I loved it sooo much
Amazingly erotic awakening of true love between two strangers and I felt like a third wheel in a very private and personal meeting of souls. Please let them live on as you write more.
This story is - hands down - the best romance story I've ever read. I love the focus on intimacy as well as sex, which is something that adds potency to the event in a way that nothing else can. All of the excitement, passion, vulnerability, fear and everything else that comes with falling in love whirling around at once, making for an intense and utterly satisfying read.
Seriously.
Best. Romance story. Ever!
Now I'm off to read more of your work
I've now read all of your other stories and although not all of the subjects appealed, you are a talented writer. The trouble is, you've now shown the high standard you are capable of reaching! This is undoubtedly the best, mainly because, as you have identified, you took the trouble to think through and show the emotional side. Much as I like these characters, the story has a perfect place to leave them . I would be disappointed if any follow-up didn't meet the expectation . I would however, love to read new work......especially if the same quality!!
absolutely loved this story. it was well written, I loved the characters. they were well developed. a wonderful story that happens more often than not. just most people will not be honest about it.
I would like to see where this story leads and how it develops, there are many possibilities. I appreciate your time and effort to tell a wonderful story that alters the lives of both women.
thank you...
All your stories should follow this trend . By providing emotional substance all of a sudden there's meaning and depth to you're submission not just wicked raunch . Bravo
This a really good story better than some of your other works. The characters seem very real and full of depth. Perhaps a sequel to find out just what happened with them. I feel invested in their story.
You really caught the passion between these two and made them real and alive! You captured the love we can share with the same fulfilling and meaningful depth as the act itself.
I wish I could write at this level.
Thank you for a warm and very erotic tale.
asianToy
The progress, the language. And don't short change yourself. It is not porn, but erotica.
Very good. Would like to read some more on Ash and Riley. See how things go. :-D
It's a story about two people who start from two very different places but meet together in new love and new self-awareness.
this is really good, it's unpredictable and very interesting, i hope to see more of ash and riley.
In the beginning I thought the main character seemed flat but that didn't stop me from loving your story! Thank you for writing it I really enjoyed it!
I liked the story for several reasons, but most of all because the characters discovered something essential about themselves that led them into intense and meaningful sex. It was well done. Please keep writing.
My un-edited first reactions were: encouraging comments about a really hot story that was more than porn because it had depth and feeling and conflcted thoughts and emotions and misspellings that wern't really that significant because the story was very touching.
oh to be Riley the first time your lips touch her cunt the details i loved it i hope you wright more stories oh to be Riley
Ignoring the grammar because at the end it didn't even matter. Really amazing story about the characters discovering and accepting themselves. Its really good to hear how she thinks of herself (ash) at the beginning and compare it to the end. You can see a difference, it might not be the typical happy ever after but it was really good. Thanks for sharing......you made me write one hell of long comment, a first.
P.D. Kind of hoping for a sequel, you know one can always dream
Thank you for such a wonderful love story.
So well written like all of your stories :)
The amount of detail, the way you describe the setting, I feel like I can see it visually without effort. You're a gifted writer. Keep up the good work for all of our sakes.
If that were all it was. it would not be nearly as good as it is. Real thoughts and real emotion.
Such a beautifully written story you are a very talented writer I look forward to reading your future works.
...and a very satisfying one. A nice slow build-up, with a real comedy of errors in Ash and Riley's first meeting, leading to an excellent climax and finish. I did enjoy the concept of revenge by excessively expensive dinner. A number of other readers have asked you to continue the story but I don't think this is necessary. The story seems to me to have reached its natural end. The indications are there for a happy-ever-after life for Ash and Riley but there is just the slightest hint of doubt. So let your readers use their own imaginations and work the story out the way they feel is right. Oh, and here are five more stars for your collection.
Please please please tell me there is more!?!? (Just a simple undemanding request) :) amazing..
this was beautiful, well put i never comment on these stories but you did a good job show casing their emotions i hope you write more.
tale of self realization with a happy ending (the ending sort that I am addicted to by the way). Thoroughly enjoyed reading this...time well spent - thanks!
these are the stories that I look for and so seldom find . well written and describing feelings that we can all relate to , to take seven pages on one dinner date is very commendable , the sex can sometimes be same old same old , but you again put just the right ammount of feeling into it . in total an awsome story and very well done
You have a very real talent; your story is well written full of feeling, emotion and understanding. Thank You for sharing with us.
A well paced story with injections of humor that kept me smiling and keen to read on. A damn good read and worth all five stars. Thank you so much for taking the time to not only write this but post it as well, pat yourself on the back, a truly amazing story.
This is the second time I've read this story and it was as good as I remember it being. I just love the build up, self realization, and passion that you included in the story. The intimate parts were so sweet and it had me tingling all over;)
It kinda feels as though 7 pages wasn't even enough cause the story was that good.
I'm glad I stumbled upon this submission, and thanks for posting it.
I love the build-up in this story and the idea that both women had buried their feelings about their sexuality. Please keep on writing, we can work round the typos!
Loved it, have read it a couple times now. I'm sure I'll be back to do so again. Great story!
I identify so much with Ash especially, this story... Yes, yes, thank you.
I was surfing and stumbled upon this story. I thought that it started out slow but after reading it I could understand why. It was a good story especially how they found each other and weren't really looking for a chance encounter. Keep on writing and I'll be looking for more
LOL. Betsey
Keep coming back to this story and rereading it. Its a great story. Please is there gonna be a sequel
I really liked this story and have no doubt that I'll revisit it. Hopefully, you'll give us more of Ash and Riley.
In every aspect this story is amazing. From the concept to the way the characters unfolded in their discovery for each other and (most importantly, themselves). I am still blown away by how very well written it was. Every emotion was given such an explicit amount of description, so much so that the reader can't help but feel what the characters feel. I am looking forward to a sequel! I think everyone on this forum wants it.
The level of sophistication in your writing is beyond compare, coupled with the flow of humor made everything so natural and a pleasure to read. Just when I think I have found a "favorite" story, something else comes along. However, I doubt anything will surpass the quality of this work. Great job!