All Comments on 'Double, Double Cross'

The word "blond" comes to us from the French. Therefor when blond is used for females it should be spelled with an "E" on the end. Blond is the right spelling for males.

Great read. Big fan of that genre and like the way you modernised the timeline but not the dialogue. TC Ireland

Well done.

One of your best.

I look forward to reading it again.

Awesome story, as always Easy 5*

It's been slim pickings in loving wives lately. When I saw a story from laptopwriter, I thought finally...things are looking up. Great story. 5 stars...thanx!

Loklie

get his office air conditioner fixed?

Great story!

5

Good story - it should lead to some follow up stories in the future.

Fun story, I liked that our hero and his ex were able to work things out. The various shades of grey were highly entertaining. 5 stars.

That was one good detective story.

Good job laptopwriter.

Great story. Love those dames! 5 from me.

Loved it thank you. hope you make a long series of him and Stacy

A great little story with a couple of nice twists in the middle. Congratulations.

Loved it, great writing......not too long and not too short.....perfect.

Great story, LTW! It is always good to see a new story from you! Thank you!

What could I say when I read something well written, with a good story, with great twists, written in a genre of by-gone days but... well done. Bravo and thankyou for the pleasure of reading. Cheers.

Fun story. Since it's all feelgood and happy ending, would it qualify as a soft-boiled noir thriller? Only thing that seemed off was Wilson's introduction. I had to wonder who the fuck he was, then go back and check all the pages to see if I'd missed any earlier reference to him. But no, turns out he just shows up at the end, gets owned, and gets taken away.

Very good read, I really enjoyed it. I was actually thinking he was going to find a guy at home with his ex at the end making it yet another double cross. But this was better as it had a happy ending.

Loved it. very well done !!

Thanks L W. Nice story wrapped up expertly. The confrontation could have been drawn out more with the characters' emotions but worked well for a short story. You slwsys provide quality.

Good story with a nice tangled little web. Usually it's the governor of Illinois who goes to prison...or was he already there?

Call me a simpleton, but I love it when the good guy wins. Very nice short story.

Absolutely perfect! It took a little adjusting to get my mind set with "old narrative" from the Spillane days with modern world, but can't of a better way to do it. Great job, again - 5*

Well written, nice flow, nice plot twists, well done !!

Always enjoy your stories. Thanks for posting.

Great job and true to the challenge.

Absolutely loved the story!

Great story, LTW. You got the whole Spillane thing going with your usual great plotting and flow. An easy 5 stars.

Hooked

Fantastic!

Helluva yarn.

Nicely written with a couple of twists and turns I didn't expect. 5 Stars

Another very fine effort from Laptopwriter. Really enjoyed it. Thanks. 5

Love it. 5***** that's all needed to be said.

We’ll done! It was a fun ride.

Really good right up till the ending. Gumshoes never get a happy ending

A sure contest winner. Completely faithful to the Mike Hammer genre. So well done, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for this, but honestly I like all your works.

Well crafted, just not erotic.

Great story///

It was brilliant LTW. I knew a swerve was coming but it was still pleasant. The fact that Richardson wasn't all bad was a really nice touch. Well done:) -starsong1977

Lots of twists and turns and a good ending.

When Carla says she wants to serve the divorce papers I was scratching my head. How would serving divorce papers help if Arthur was going to run with the hidden money.

However, there were couple of slip ups in the story:

1) After Blake has his phone checked if it was bugged (when they wouldn't have had a chance to bug his phone) yet he calls Carla up on her own cell phone. Why doesn't he wonder if that was bugged?

2) What about Richardson's share in his old company? If Richardson was able to embezzle $4 million, and it took a year for it to be noticed, that means it was a very profitable company. If he was found innocent of embezzling he would have had rights to his share of the company, but there is no mention of him selling those shares to the partner. So, if that's the case then part, and maybe all of the money he embezzled would have been covered by giving up his share in the company. So, makes no sense for Richardson to return the money. Plus, it makes no sense for him to embezzle the money to start with, as his share was likely worth more than that, unless he was trying to make sure Carla got nothing. But even then makes no sense to return the money, as he could have explained why to his mistress.

Reading this story I was wondering how it had such a high score (above 4.5) with the husband being the cheater and bad guy, and the wife was the aggrieved cheated upon. I mean the story was good and I was going to give it 5 stars, but that premise doesn't make for a high score in LW. Then the twist with the wife being really the bad "guy", and it all added up :).

5 Stars from me both before and after the double twist.

Fantastic story! 5 stars and a favorite.

Bring on the bambino’s

Very well thought out, written, and presented. Good work!

This was so well written, engaging, enjoyable and fun that you just about scrubbed the cuck stank off LW's. Now THATS a glowing recommendation!!

Outstanding. A fun read.

Great just like all your stuff 5 stars

Sheer writing quality as always ltw. Many thanks for this excellent nod to a great genre. It started out great with the famous quote from To have and have not and just got better. 5* of course.

Yeah, that was a good one. I enjoyed the whole thing, start to finish - even the happy ending, which for Spillane, would be a change.

Thank you, Sir!

It is good but the story did not do anything for me, very dry.

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Blake had the power to publicly screw Walker in his office press'er disclosing how he got the $3.6M funds back and how Richardson got screwed by Walker & Carla. Actually Richardson might be able to sue Walker IF the feds/state could get Carla to roll on complicity in getting Walker to take over Richardson's company.

/

I was expecting another twist as to Blake's romance/EX, like she had his child during their first marriage but feared her & child's safety until she met the firefighters wife. Their child is at her family farm just over the Ill-noise line in Wisconsin near Lake Geneva. Also missing in the story was any connection to Blake wanting a family or kids but marriage for sex was OK. The only thing we got from the story is Blake was a pussy hound.

/

3.9*, Hooyah

5***

The previous Anon is right, though: No Happy Endings.

You are good! The first few paragraphs made me feel like I was reading Mickey Spillane all over again. Same terse no-nonsense style. The plot was involved and developed the way they used to be. Almost makes me want to believe in re-incarnation. *****

Nice

Excellent tale.

Keep them coming.

Five Stars

There’s a movies in that. Love your work

Terrific story!

Well done!!

Solid 5*

Sure to be a very strong contender for the contest as you kept it in line with the guidelines.

Great mix of everything and I’m always appreciative of your effort and work.

Thank you.

I will say it.... Hammerd out the park !

Spillane would smile. Kept me guessing. Kept me engaged. I was expecting the double cross from Richardson and Janet or perhaps even Walker and Dorie, and wondering how the LG would fit in.

.

Very fun. You’ve done the crime genre well a few times. I hope you revisit Blake and Stacy again. Thanks much, and Kudos to ChloeTzang for a great event.

I'm not much of a Mickey Spillane/Mike Hammer reader, I tend more toward John D. McDonald/Travis McGee, but I do recognize a pretty good story when I see it. This one is very readable and well crafted.

Your a damn fine story teller. Thanks for sharing your gift

This is a great story!

Well done! write more of this kid of stories.

I can make a movie out of this and it will do wonders...

What an amazing story. You are getting better with every passing story and you were brilliant, to begin with...

Loved it! 5 BIG HUGE STARS!

Enjoyable tale.

We have a winner! Perfect.

When we got married the first time, I wasn't prepared. I mean... I knew what you did for a living, but I didn't know what it entailed; now I do. Blake, I've gone out with quite a few guys since our divorce, but I never found anyone to even begin to take your place.

.

.

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Translation

I cant find anyone willing to commit, and or earn as much money as you do so I'll stop screwing all the other men if you take me back

BRAVO and Thank You for a fun read.

your title revealed a lot of stuff.. it's kinda dumb idea to tell us beforehand that there's gonna be double cross in story.

Very good as usual...An excellent tribute...5*

"I have to say, Mr. McDaniels, you're exactly what I imagined a PI would look like." - Didn't she already know what he looked like?

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"Damn, she had been sitting there commando the whole time." - Could be wearing a g-string.

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"Why didn't you tell me you were the same PI who caused all the trouble a couple years ago?" - Again, how could she NOT know? He was the key witness against her husband.

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"I figured anyone who was mixed up with Richardson when I was trying to take him down would know who I was," - Yet, his wife apparently didn't!

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"When she hopped on I-90 north" - I-90 is an East-West highway.

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"He also backdated a couple of threatening emails he sent from your computer to Art's personal email." - Isn't the date set by the email server?

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@johnadp Re: "When Carla says she wants to serve the divorce papers I was scratching my head. How would serving divorce papers help if Arthur was going to run with the hidden money." - I was thinking something along the same lines. No need to serve him, just wait a year and file for abandonment.

Excellent story with a lot of unexpected twists and turns. Five stars.

Fantastic 5 star story. Hard to believe this excellent tale is available on a free site, it's comparable to anything I've read in the annual 'Best Mystery' series in my bookcase. Thanks for a well thought out plot with great twists.

Great tale and you've set the table for the next.

OK. Did a little research, and out of 41 stories (I'm counting "It's Against The Law" and "Is It Immoral" as one, same with "Hero" and "Hero's Lament"), 33 of them have been stone cold 5's. A pretty damn high percentage, I'd say. And this story is one of those 33. While the juxtapositions between the Spillane style and the current tech devices were a little jarring, the story itself swept aside all doubts. And what a lovely, fulfilling ending! Bravissimo!

Fun Read..... reminded me of this line from a sketch

Mickey Spillane Voice over:

"A Tall woman, walked past my office window, I could tell she was tall- my office is on the 2nd floor............"

Don't let this be the end. Blake ought to be good for at least a couple more episodes. Great story, you did the noir genre proud. I could have read another four pages of this classic.

@ sbrooks103x Either your reading retention is piss poor or you just scan my stories then make comments on what you THINK happened or didn't happen. I've noticed you do it for all my stories. If you actually read the story, you'd know that Richardson and his wife had a very poor marriage. She was running around with other men all the time, so to think she would bother coming to the trial and seeing McDaniels is naive, PLUS the fact, if you had actually read the story, you'd realize that her telling him she didn't know it was him was part of a ruse to throw Richardson off the trail when McDaniels thought it was he who bugged the office.

As for Insterstate 90 being an east - west route, I've lived in the Chicago area most of my life... you're going to tell me about the roads? I=90 is a Northwest route that goes from Chicago through Rockford and well into Wisconsin before it turns into a west bound road. Try looking at a map before making such a ridiculous statement.

Damn! Fine! Story!

I believe this is the first time I have ever commented on another authors story, but it pissed me off that Walker got the money.

One of the best things about the noire genre is the absence of fluff. laptopwriter walks that line by giving us an entertaining, crisp story with some humor and a couple of surprises. Nice job.

Was there an earlier Blake story? If so, what was the title?

…Written by a master. You’ve outdone yourself, and even garnered a comment from Just Plain Bob. That’s enough credential for Hall of Fame membership! If you write a series with these characters, it would be very popular. Five stars don’t quite say enough.

Thanks for writing!

@LTW, I enjoy your stories FAR too much to ever skim them, Continental Divide is still one of my all-time favorites.

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Since nothing was said, I think it's normal to assume that a wife would attend her husband's trial, ESPECIALLY if they weren't getting along, for schadenfreude if nothing else.

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I live near Boston, the eastern terminus of I-90, and while I don't doubt that there are places where it goes GEOGRAPHICALLY north, I would bet that if you were approaching it on an intersecting road, the directional signs would say "I-90 East or West" depending on which overall direction it was going. Using your example, the signs at the interchange would say "I-90 West." I-95 runs north-south from Maine to Florida. If you drive south towards Boston, the road turns west to go around Boston, then back south, then it turns back east before finally continuing on south, It's all still "I-95 south."

I enjoyed both the story and the style. It really did sound like Micky Spillane though I have't read one of his books for 45+ years.

A perfect pastiche - and a terrific read. THANK YOU!

I loved it, as a fan of Mickey Spillane it was a very, very good homage (maybe a bit more literate, though, Mike Hammer in the books was a cave man "I shot her in da belly"). Liked the twists at the end, too, and I liked him getting back together with his ex wife, too, gave it a great buzz. Usually Mike Hammer ended up less than happily, with a headache, Barrington sneering at him and one step out of jail.....

I 90 could be north/south, with the interstate system odd goes north south, even goes east west.....there is an exception, however. So called feeder highways can violate those rules. So in the NY area, interstate 287 is north south in NJ, but in westchester county it is east/west (it connects 95 with the NY Thruway, 87). Other highways do the same thing......

Great work! I did an entry into the Hammered contest, and I wouldn't even mind if yours beat mine.

You build your world really well, which is hard with the concise style of Spillane. I think my piece became a parody of the style, but that's me.

I geeked out on one thing: Mrs. Richardson needs a different reason to show up at the confrontation with Mr. Richardson besides wanting to serve the divorce papers to her husband. She cannot legally serve him the divorce papers. Her lawyer would have told her this. A private detective would probably know it, too. It wouldn't be legally valid (i.e. it wouldn't begin the lawsuit in the court - it would be thrown out). Lots of reasons for it. Reliability: parties to a lawsuit have every reason to lie and say "yeah, I served him, he got the papers" when they really didn't, etc. Conflict Avoidance: It's generally a good idea to keep people with legal conflicts away from each other. Anyway, it's a small thing. 5/5!

What was not to like. A fine detective adventure, beautiful ladies, intrigue and a happy ending. Yeah Mike Hammer would have enjoyed that. 5*s.

Wonderful! Thank you! Would love to see the continuing adventures of Blake and Stacy if you are ever so inclined. :)

4 stars - a little too fast paced for my tastes, otherwise not a bad read.

Oh, by the way, I have never read a Mike Hammer story.

I have never liked PI or cop stories, but this was not that bad.

I had to laugh at the author’s admission that he did a book report on the Spillane book “My Gun Is

Quick”. This was a very good story though, a nice homage to Mike Hammer. Not too sure about that Beretta though. Everyone knows Hammer was a hard-core Colt guy. All that said, LTW, I would hope you might consider expanding this story into a series. Five stars, definitely.

Hey LTW, great little story! It was so authentic in how it was written that I wasn't sure if the story setting was current or back in black and white until the cell phone reference! LOL! Wonderfully job as always. Thanks again!

Killian

Decent story.

I have a bunch of the Mike Hammer paperbacks. My father bought them in the late 40s, early 50s and I've kept them all in a bookshelf as an heirloom. His engineering books from college didn't survive, these did! All your stories are great and I look forward to seeing future work. Please keep writing.

Really good detective story! Five star effort.

I struggle with the events and logic surrounding the bug in Blake's office. It was assumed to be placed there on Richardson's behalf. That led to the subterfuge with the wife coming back to the office the next day and loudly shouting, "you're fired!" If The AG actually was behind the bug's placement, why did he have it removed?

On a parallel question, if Blake "knew" Richardson was behind the bug and went through the theatrics to have it removed, why would he blatantly tell Richardson's GF that the wife hired him to look for Richardson? He tried to throw them off his trail, yet openly told her?

Since I didn't see any other calls on this issue in the comments, I must have missed something(?).

A fine example of LTW's skills and breadth. Nice touches without the full OTT "noir" thing going on.

Keep 'em comin'.

Nice old fashioned story. So many “hot dames” running around town. I’m glad he got back with his ex. They always say to play the field and get perspective on who would make the best wife, but I guess marrying, divorcing, playing the field, then deciding the the wife was in fact the best option is an even better strategy, if you can avoid the alienation of affections problem.