Driving Jackie Ch. 04

Dressed, I put on some eye shadow and lipstick, and then ran a quick comb through my hair. I wanted to tell Davey I was going to be leaving for a while, but wasn't sure just how to do that. He was still following my every move with his eyes, not saying a word. I walked back to my office, then made a call and asked for a cab to come to the house to pick me up. Right now, I wasn't sure of my ability to drive myself to the hospital. Once done with that task, I went into the living room and sat on the couch to wait. Davey was still following and I told him to sit with me, and then hugged him tight. I let go and he asked "What happened to daddy?"

"He got hurt, and the people in the ambulance took him to the doctors to make him better." I answered him.

"When will he come back?"

I could see the worry on his face and did not want to add to it, but wasn't sure how to answer. "He will come back when they have made him better. I don't know how long that will be. I know he is really proud of you for doing what you did." I hugged him to me again, and had to fight to keep the tears at bay.

The bell rang and I went to answer the door. Sofia was there and as soon as she came in she reached out and hugged me.

"Are you OK, Jackie? How is Steve? Have you heard anything?"

I started to answer her questions when Davey spotted her and came running with "Auntie Sophie!" calling her the name he had used when he could not pronounce her name properly. Sofia let me go and knelt to return the hug he was offering her. As she hugged him to her body, I was again reminded of Steve's words this morning, Davey had his face buried deep between Sofia's large breasts. I guess he probably will end up just like his father, though that is not a bad thing.

Sofia stood back up and I offered that I did not know anything at the moment, I was going to the hospital as soon as the cab got here. "I want to thank you again for staying with Davey. I am sure you had other plans for a Saturday night."

"Nothing I couldn't reschedule. Besides, this gives me a chance to see my favorite nephew." she said looking at Davey who was still smiling broadly as he hovered near me. I was restless, but didn't know what to do with myself, so I paced around the room for another 5 minutes before the cab arrived and honked to announce his presence. I gave Davey a hug and told him I was going to see his father. I told him this was grown-up stuff, but he would be able to see his father soon. I hoped I was right with that last statement. Sofia asked me to call and let her know how Steve was. I promised her I would, then left.

The ride to the hospital took about 25 minutes, and I was lost in my own thoughts for the entire ride. The driver had to tell me twice that we had arrived before I knew where I was. I paid him, and then hurried into the emergency entrance of the hospital. I found the nurse's desk and asked about Steve.

"I'm Mrs. Warren, my husband was brought in here earlier. I want to see him, can you tell me where he is?"

The nurse took a quick look at the computer screen on the desk, and then told me he was in ICU. She said she would have the doctor come out and speak to me, then picked up the phone and said something to whomever was on the other end. She asked me to sit on one of the chairs in the room, saying the doctor would be out shortly.

IN a few minutes, a woman wearing green scrubs came out and introduced herself. "I'm Dr. Thomas. I can tell you how your husband is doing." She sat beside me and started.

The good news is that none of his injuries are life threatening..."

"And the bad news?" I interrupted.

"Well, we don't want to call it bad news right now, rather more like uncertain news."

"Uncertain?" I asked, now starting to worry.

"Let's go back to what we know, and then I will explain things more fully. Your husband has had some very bad burns. He came in here in shock, and he is sedated now. Burns are one of the most painful injuries you can have, so we have knocked him out to give his body a chance to start healing without having to deal with the pain. The good news here is that the burns are bad, but not deep. I would say superficial, although I don't want to minimize the extent. The fire was hot, but he was evidently not exposed for a long time, so the skin is not deeply damaged. In some ways this is like a bad sunburn, though much more serious. The burned skin will die, flake off and new skin will grow to replace it. In time, he will be back to normal although perhaps some cosmetic surgery might be needed in the future."

"O God, I am so glad to hear that. Does this mean he might be home soon?"

"As I said earlier, his burns are severe, and infection is a concern. He is young and healthy, so I don't expect problems. But the uncertain part I mentioned earlier needs to be explained."

I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, wondering just what to expect now. "This doesn't sound good. Why are things uncertain? What haven't you told me?"

"The burns to his skin are bad, but will likely heal relatively quickly. However, his eyes have also been burned. The eyes are more delicate than the skin and will heal more slowly. Right now, the burns have made it impossible for us to see inside the eye itself. The outer part of the eye is called the cornea, and his are badly damaged. Without being able to see inside the eye, we just don't know the extent of any damage. Hopefully, the only damage will be the outer surface of the eye, but we can't know that." the doctor explained in a more solemn voice.

"So what does that mean?" I asked, now more concerned.

"We can't really say at this point. The best outcome would be for his corneas to heal themselves with no further damage, but we need to be sure. Sometimes the inner parts of the eye can be damaged and this needs to be addressed soon if so."

"How long to find out what else might be wrong? What other damage might result if you don't know soon?"

"We don't have the equipment necessary to do the examination we would like to. The sooner we can determine the extent of any damage, the better for him. We have decided to send him to an ophthalmic trauma center to have them evaluate his condition. They have the necessary equipment and people to diagnose and treat any injury he might have suffered."

"Where is this center? I want to go along with him." I stated matter of factly.

"We have made arrangements to send him to the

Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville. They have the tools and experience in this kind of injury to be the most help to him."

"When is he leaving?"

"He will be on a helicopter within the hour. You can't ride with him, but I know the center has some facilities for family members. You can stop by the hospital business office and speak to Clarisse. She can give you more details and help to make arrangements."

"I need to see him before he goes!" I told her.

"Of course. As I said earlier, he is heavily sedated and won't know you are there, but I will have one of the nurses take you to the unit to see him."

"Thank you doctor. Thank you for everything."

Dr. Thomas told me not to worry, he is in good hands. She then instructed one of the nurses to take me to the Intensive care Unit to see Steve.

I walked in silence along with the nurse, I was still unsure just what to say. We went up a floor, and then followed several corridors until we came to a pair of doors that were closed and had a sign stating that entry was limited to authorized persons. We walked through the doors and the nurse guiding me spoke to one of the nurses sitting in the center of what looked like a NASA control room. There were lights and beeping machines, lots of computer screens and readouts. I thanked the nurse who had accompanied me this far, then the nurse behind the desk walked with me to the cubicle Steve was in.

I could hardly recognize him, there were bandages all over his face. He had a tube going in through his nose and more tubes and needles in his arms. The nurse told me he would not know I was there, but I could stay for a few minutes if I wanted. She then left to return to her duties and I was alone in the room with my husband.

I had worked hard to control my emotions up until now, but just seeing him lying there like this triggered a flood of tears that I couldn't stop. I reached for his hand but there were so many tubes and needles plugged into the back, I could only wrap my hand around his fingers. I felt the contact, and knew then what it meant to love someone as much as I loved him. I thought I felt a little movement of his fingers as I touched him, but it was probably just an involuntary muscle tremor. I knew he was out and would not remember my visit here today. I just stood there holding his fingers and crying, I didn't know what else to do.

Time to think positive, Jackie, I thought to myself. You have to get it together for Steve and for your son at home. The doctor had said his injuries weren't life threatening and that was a good thing. We could deal with any other possibilities if and when they happened. I stopped crying and found a box of tissues on the table in the corner. I used some to dry my face and probably totally screw up my makeup, but I got my eyes dry and got my emotions under control as best I could.

"I have faith you will be fine. I don't know what I would do without you, so you have to get better soon. I will be right here with you every step of the way." I was talking to him as if he could hear me, and down deep I had faith that somehow he could. A minute later the nurse returned and told me they had to prepare him for transport. I told him goodbye for now, but that I would see him again soon. Walking out of the room, I got directions to the business office and found Clarisse to help me make arrangements to go to Nashville.

*****

I got a cab to take me home and was back about 2 hours after I had first left home. Sofia had kept Davey busy and he was not too concerned that I was gone, but his apprehension picked up a bit as I came in. I didn't want to worry him, but he deserved to know what was going on, it was his father who was gone for now.

"I saw Steve and he is still unconscious. They have sedated him due to the pain of the burns. I could not speak to him, but I think he knew I was there." I reported to Sofia. "He will heal from the burns quickly, they think, but his eyes are the main issue. They don't have the facilities to do a proper diagnosis, so have sent him to Nashville for better options."

Sofia asked, "How serious is the problem with his eyes? Will he be able to see?"

"They don't know right now, I assume that the people in Nashville will be able to make that determination when he gets there. They sent him by helicopter and he should be in the hospital soon. I have made arrangements to go to Nashville to be with him, I will leave in the morning."

Davey had been listening, but I'm not sure he understood all of this. I would have to get someone to stay with him, I didn't think it wise to try to take him with me. I did not want to impose on Sofia to stay with him for who knew how long, but finding someone to watch him would require someone he knew well enough to be comfortable with during this time of stress.

I hugged Sofia and thanked her for staying with him this afternoon. I knew she had changed her schedule for me and was grateful. She asked me to keep in touch with her and let her know how Steve was progressing. I promised to do so and she left.

I sat down with Davey and tried to explain things to him.

"Your father had a bad accident today. He is hurt and they have to keep him in the hospital to make him better. I need to go to stay with him for a few days. I won't be able to take you with me, so you will have to be good and wait for us to come back."

He looked at me with his eyes wide, saying "I don't want you to go away too. I want you and daddy to be here with me."

I knew this was going to be tough on him, but there was no way I was going to not see Steve and find out how he would be in the future.

"I'm sorry honey, but your daddy needs me to be with him. I will call your Mom-mom and ask her to stay with you. Can you be a big boy and do this for me?"

His Mom-mom was his grandmother, my mother. I needed to call her and also Steve's parents to let them know what had happened. I also had to call each of our bosses at work since neither of us would be coming in for some time. I had to get Davey settled down some then would have to make calls. I had scheduled a flight to Nashville that took off just before lunch tomorrow.

Davey was still nervous, but better I thought. I made the necessary calls and knew that my mother and father would be here soon and that would help Davey to accept my absence. He loved spending time with them almost as much as with Sofia. They had dropped everything and made plans to be here first thing tomorrow morning. Steve's parents were upset and offered to come down immediately, but I told them I did not know much until I spoke to the doctors tomorrow. I promised to call and let them know anything as soon as I knew myself. I spoke to my boss at work and to Steve's. Each was sympathetic and told me to take as much time as necessary. They offered best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery, asking me to keep them in the loop. Once I had finished my tasks, I packed a bag and then collapsed in total fatigue. Time had gotten away from me and it was almost 10. This was way past Davey's bed time, but he was still following my every move, afraid to lose me. I told him to put his jammies on, that he would have to go to bed. He wanted to sleep with me, and despite the problems we had breaking him of his habit of wanting to sleep in our bed, I let him. I did put on a nightshirt, passing on my usual sleep attire of just panties and did my changing in the bathroom. Once in bed, he fell asleep almost immediately, but I found it difficult to fall off myself and tossed and turned most of the night.

*****

I woke early, not that I had been able to get much sleep. I got out of bed, Davey was still sleeping and I did not want to wake him this early. I went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, then dressed and went into the kitchen. I started coffee and got myself some cold cereal to eat.

The bell rang about 7:30 and when I answered the door, my parents were there having driven most of the night to get here. My mother gave me a hug and asked how I was doing.

"I am scared, mom. I just don't know what to expect. She could see from my face that I had not gotten much sleep and had been crying. She hugged me again then my father took his turn.

Don't worry, honey. Things will turn out for the best in the end. Do you want me to come with you to Nashville? Your mother can stay here with Davey."

I thanked him, but knew he would not be comfortable waiting around in hospital rooms. "Thanks Dad, but you and Mom can stay here with Davey. I will call you as soon as I know anything."

Davey had been awakened by the bell and soon ran out of the bedroom. He saw his grandparents and rushed to get hugs, his arms outstretched. He seemed to have forgotten the events of yesterday, but our somber mood reminded him that his father was not here.

"Davey, remember what I told you yesterday about having to go see your father? I will be leaving soon so I want you to be good for your Mom-mom and Grampops. They will be here with you until I get back. Can you do that for me?"

I saw the apprehension grow on his face, but he just nodded as he looked at me with that uncertain expression. I knew this would be hard on him, but taking him with me wasn't an option and even if I could, being in that environment wouldn't be any better.

I offered my mother and father coffee, and they accepted. The drive had been long and they had not gotten any sleep during the night. I offered to make breakfast, but mom told me that they had stopped at a truck stop earlier and had a quick snack a couple of hours ago. We talked for a while, but my mind was not into things here, I was wanting to get to the airport and then to Nashville. My father dropped me off, asking one more time if I was certain I didn't want him to accompany me. I thanked him for the offer, but said I could handle things. I gave him a hug and kiss before taking my case and checking in at the counter.

The flight took less than an hour from the time I first sat down until the plane was pulling up to the gate in Nashville. Once I had picked up my case, I caught a taxi to the site. There were apartment like suites across from the medical center for family members to stay in while their loved one was being cared for. I got rid of my luggage, and then walked across the street to find Steve.

On Sunday afternoon, there were not too many people in the hospital, but most of those present were visitors. I was directed to the ophthalmic center and once there, I asked about Steve.

"I'm Mrs. Warren. I would like to see my husband. He was brought in last night. The nurse at the desk looked into her computer screen and told me he was in room 321. She said he was still sedated and would not be able to speak to me. I thanked her, but would go see him anyway.

I walked down the hall following the signs to find the room. I entered and saw him laying in the bed, looking much the same as he had the day before. The room contained 2 beds, but Steve was the only one here now. He was lying in the bed, tubes and wires coming out of his hands and arms. There was a tube feeding oxygen to his nose and he was still bandaged all around his face and part of his torso. I again felt so helpless, I didn't know what to do.

Seeing him like this brought back the tears that I had been trying to fight off all morning. I took his fingers in my hand, telling him that I was there for him and would be for as long as it took. I didn't see any change in the readouts of the machines monitoring his vitals, but somehow I knew he was aware that I was there.

I held him for a few minutes, then sat and watched. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but there was no change for the half hour I sat there. I was lost in thought when a voice broke through the mist of my mind and I looked up to see an Indian man in a white lab coat speaking to me.

"Mrs. Warren?"

I nodded my head, not able to say anything at the moment.

"I am Dr. Sanjay", he said. "I am in charge of this section of the center."

I looked at the name tag on his coat, and saw that it did not say 'Sanjay'. He saw me looking at his name tag with puzzlement, then offered, "MY first name is Sanjay, but since most people cannot pronounce my last name, I just go by Dr. Sanjay."

"What can you tell me about his condition?" I asked.

"I am sure you know he has some serious burns. They were treated before he arrived here, and we will watch them, but the more serious issue is the health of his eyes. We have been able to examine him and so far, the burns to his corneas appear to be the only injury his eyes have suffered; however, we can only infer so much from the diagnostic tests we ran, the best method of determining the true extent of his condition is a visual examination. Unfortunately, the condition of his corneas prevents that for now."

"What does that mean for his future?" I asked.

"Right now, my best guess is that he will have some issues with the corneas, but hopefully, there will not be anything more serious. We will have to wait for healing to occur before we can know for certain."

"How long will that take? What can he expect once things heal?" I was worried about what might happen, but right now I needed to know how our lives would change because of the accident.