Duty, Honor, Country

"So...just nine hours and fifty-five minutes left," Rick said drawing a tired chuckle.

They'd been out for 4 1/2 days, and after they mounted a final assault through the 'enemy's' position, the FTX would be over.

Rick knew time dragged on when one was fatigued, but time did still pass, and before he knew it they were ready to re-board the Blackhawks.

His buddy was on a different chopper so he slapped Callaghan on the back and said, "See you back at the barn."

"Yeah, take care, man," he told him as he got on.

For the first time in over two days he didn't have to stay awake, and by the time the helo lifted off, he was sound asleep. It was a little after 1am and the sky was pitch black as the four Blackhawks made their way home.

At about 0115 hours, there was a loud thump and Callaghan briefly woke up as the craft shuddered for a moment. He closed his eyes again and the last sound Rick Callaghan ever heard was the crew chief hollering, "We're goin' in!!"

*****

It was just after noon the following day and Sarah was anxiously waiting for the phone call she knew would come as soon as her fiancé had a chance to talk to her. She decided to make something to eat when she heard a knock at the door of her tiny apartment.

"Just a minute!" she called out. She was in the best mood she could remember in years so her smile was natural as she opened the door.

"Hi, how may I..."

It was Richard, and he looked like he was on the verge of crying or having a heart attack.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Come on in. Can I get you something? What's going on?"

Richard closed the door then just grabbed her and pulled her in hard.

"Richard? What are you doing?" she asked feeling extremely uncomfortable.

She heard his voice crack when he said, "I'm so, so sorry, Sarah."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" she asked pushing herself away.

His eyes were wet with tears and suddenly she knew.

"No. No. No!! Please, God...NO!!" she said barely able to speak.

He caught her as her knees went weak and set her on the couch.

"The helicopter he was riding on went down last night. Rick...all of them...they're...they're all gone," he said, his voice hollow and tinny-sounding.

"I...I don't understand," Sarah said. "How...how does that even happen when they're not fighting a war?"

Richard knew she knew the answer. Even so he said, "Every flight in any aircraft poses a risk. It's...it's extremely rare, but things like this do happen. Even in peacetime."

Sarah looked up at him, her own face torn in anguish. When she saw his mirroring hers she fell over and curled up into a ball and began sobbing.

Richard had seen men die and had killed more than a few himself. But this was his only son and his best friend, and he had never felt more alone in his entire life. Sarah needed his comfort, but he had none to offer. For the first time in his life he needed to be comforted and there was no one he could turn to to find it.

He come to tell her knowing it was his duty. But he was running on empty and had nothing left to give. As Sarah sobbed and shook, Richard lowered his head and cried for the first time in his adult life.

Less than two minutes later, Richard somehow willed himself to stop. Sarah needed him and he needed to do...something. He had no idea what, but he couldn't sit there and cry. He stood up, moved to the couch, and sat next to Sarah whose face was buried in the back of the sofa.

He put a hand on her shoulder and when he did she said, "I just want to die, too."

"Hey. Don't talk like that," he told her even though he'd thought briefly about taking his own life right after the post commander came to formally notify him.

Richard physically picked up her small, limp body and sat her upright then put an arm around her and pulled her in close. Her head collapsed onto his huge shoulder as she continued to sob.

He stroked her hair and held her for maybe an hour before saying, "Come on. I'm taking you home."

"I don't want to go," Sarah said shaking her head and barely able to speak. Her voice was ragged and choked.

"I'm not asking you, sweetie," he said scooping her up.

He found her purse and grabbed it then closed the door, locked it, and put her in his car. As he drove, Sarah was slumped against the passenger window still crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

The moment they got home he made a call.

"Doc? Hey, it's Richard Callaghan. Can you bring me some Ambien? You can? Great. Thanks, Doc."

The head of the hospital at West Point was a personal friend, and he'd told General Callaghan to call anytime he needed his help. Word had spread quickly and the doctor knew why he was calling or at least thought he knew, assuming it was for him.

Thirty minutes later he personally delivered the prescription and only then learned who it was for.

"Jesus. I'm so sorry, General. For both of you," he told him. "What can I do to help?"

"For me? Nothing. But for Sarah...is there anything you can do with her not being a legal dependent?"

"Technically, no. But honestly? Yes. I can have one of our psychiatrists see her and prescribe whatever she needs. We'll need to do it under your name so..."

"Just do it. Please, Doc."

Sarah slept for nearly 36 hours before finally waking up. Richard was there watching and waiting when she did.

He sat on the edge of the bed as she realized where she was and why she was there. When she did, her head fell back on the pillow and she started crying again.

"I'm here for you, okay?" was all he could think to say. "Can I get you anything? Food? Water?"

"I just want to go back to sleep," she said on the verge of crying even harder.

He gave her another Ambien then tried to lay down himself knowing it was an exercise in futility. He'd spent most of his time on the phone talking with the commander of Fort Benning and a number of other general officers who'd called to offer their help and their condolences.

Richard had been assured that everything would be taken care of in terms of a memorial service and several months later, internment at Arlington National Cemetery. He'd asked and been told that Rick's body had been burned beyond recognition so an open casket was out of the question.

"And Richard?" the general calling him said. "Marie is listed as his Primary Next of Kin so..."

"I know. Everything goes to her. To tell the truth, I don't give a shit," was his reply.

And he didn't. He didn't need money. Even after giving Marie her half of everything to include his retired pay, he'd have more than most men would have when they retired at 62 or 65, and he'd have medical care and other benefits for life. So screw her and her money.

The only thing he cared about now was taking care of Sarah who would receive nothing. Had they been married just one hour it would be a very different story. But fiancés got nothing. The only thing Richard could think of that was even remotely positive was that they didn't have children. Sarah could eventually go back to teaching. She still was young and more than attractive enough to find someone else. For now, he just had to make sure she didn't do anything drastic. After that, he could help her slowly get back on her feet and start her life over again. It would be a long, hard slog, but this was his new mission in life. It was his...duty. And for his son's sake, he would do it to the best of his ability.

The following morning, Sarah woke up and asked for some water.

"When you think you're ready, we need to talk about the memorial service," Richard said gently.

"Oh, God," she said as she took a few sips. "Please tell me this isn't happening."

Richard touched her face and said, "I wish I could."

Sarah sat up then said, "My parents. I haven't even told them yet."

"Do you want me to go see them and tell them personally?" he offered.

"No," she said throwing off the blankets. "I...I have to do that."

"I can go with you if you'd like," he told her.

Too confused to think clearly Sarah said, "Um...sure. Thank you."

She forced herself out of bed then went into the bathroom. After two days she barely needed to pee. She brushed her teeth, splashed water on her face, then half-heartedly brushed her hair.

Richard was still waiting for her when she finished.

"I'm thinking of something Rick often told me," Sarah said quietly as they walked to the other end of the house. "Duty, honor, country. It's my...duty to tell me parents and to be strong."

"You're also a woman, Sarah, and it's okay to grieve," Richard told her.

"I can grieve later, Richard. But now I have to do the right thing," she said while Richard heard her echoing a sentiment he'd instilled his son over the years.

Sarah held it together remarkably well as she choked out the words explaining what had happened. Her parents were as supportive as they could be and offered to care for her, but Richard convinced them to let him keep her for a few more days. Sarah also agreed knowing her parents kind of support wasn't what she needed.

"You can drop by anytime, day or night," Richard assured them before they left.

He'd also given them details on the memorial services. One would be held at the post chapel at Fort Benning and another at West Point four days later. Arlington would take at least three months and that could wait.

Her parents couldn't afford to fly to Georgia and agreed to attend the service near their home as they told their daughter again how sad they were for her and how much they loved her.

As they rode back to Richard's, Sarah asked quietly, "Will Marie be there?"

"Yes. At Fort Benning anyway," he told her.

"Does she...does she blame me for this?" Sarah asked her face again in anguish.

"No," Richard told her.

What he didn't say was that Marie had screamed at him as she let him know she blamed him for their son's death. It was irrational, and it was her way of lashing out at him, but knowing that didn't make it hurt any less.

"One of the last conversations we had was about how bad things happen to good people," Sarah said quietly as she stared out the passenger-side window. "Rick said that we don't do a very good job preparing ourselves for this very kind of thing."

She looked over at Richard and said somberly, "He was right, you know?"

"Yes, he was," Richard agreed. "We know this kind of thing is possible, but we don't allow ourselves to believe it could happen to us."

"Yeah, it's always the other guy," she said barely above a whisper. "Until it isn't."

Richard made all the arrangements for their flight, and the post commander in Georgia had everything else under control from the time they arrived until the time they left. Sarah would not be treated like Rick's wife, of course, but Richard had been assured she would be received with dignity and respect.

Marie refused to sit with them which was fine with Richard and a blessing for Sarah. Both of them were wearing black, Richard having had someone come to the house with a dozen or so choices for Sarah to make that one thing a little less daunting.

Wearing his uniform for the first time since he retired, General Callaghan spoke for several minutes as he eulogized his son. He spoke fondly and lovingly of the little boy they'd raised, the teenager they'd lovingly tolerated, and the young cadet they'd met after his plebe year at West Point.

He was careful to honor Rick's mother while also being careful to mention how much his late son had loved both her and the young woman to whom he'd so recently proposed. Somehow he'd threaded the needle and managed to say what needed to be said without angering or offending anyone and most importantly, honoring his son.

He managed not to cry during TAPS or flinch during the rifle salute, but Marie and Sarah did both.

Neither of them said a word to the other which, all things considered, may have not been a bad thing. At least there'd been no hateful accusations or harsh words.

Sarah had asked if they could revisit Rick's room and the areas where he went to school and the post commander was all too happy to show her everything she wanted to see while Richard accompanied her recalling his own time at Fort Benning many, many years ago.

"You ready to head home?" he asked Sarah after she said she'd seen enough.

"Yes," she said doing her best to stay strong.

She stayed at Richard's that night then told him the next morning she was ready to go home.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You know you can stay as long as you need to, right?"

"I do," she replied forcing a smile. "But I can't sponge off you or lean on you forever so I think it's time I went home."

"Okay. Just know I'm here 24/7 for you and medical help is available if you need it."

As she hugged him goodbye she said, "Now I know why Rick loved you and looked up to you so much."

Richard drove her home and walked her to her door.

"I'm going to check in on you every day until I'm confident you're doing all right," he told her rather than asking for her permission.

"I'd like that," she said trying to smile. "Richard? Thank you for everything and most of all, thank you for raising such an amazing son."

He saw her tearing up again, and instinctively reached out to hug her. He felt her shudder as she began to cry and he held her until she stopped.

"You sure you want to be alone?" he asked when she could breathe again.

"No, but I think I need to," she told him. "I will call you if it gets too bad, though. I promise."

"Do you need anything? Groceries? Help with bills? Anything at all?" he asked.

"I'm...I'm...well, I'm not fine, but I have to do this, Richard. And no, I don't need anything. At least not right now, okay?"

She tried her best to smile then said, "Unless maybe you've got a job."

"What about teaching?" he asked not knowing she'd already resigned.

"I told the principal I wouldn't be coming back, and I'm sure he's already hired someone."

"I can make some phone calls," Richard offered.

"I'm not ready to work full-time just yet, but I will need a job soon, though," she admitted.

"I'll call the school and see. Maybe your position is still unfilled," he said trying to be supportive.

"You're such a good man, Richard. Thank you...for everything," she said barely holding it together.

"All right. Then I'll be on my way," he told her before hugging her one more time.

"Goodbye...Dad," she said, her eyes brimming with tears.

She blinked away a few tears then said, "I wanted to say that at least once to you."

He put a hand on her cheek then it kissed it softly and walked away.

Richard checked with the school the next day and although the principal initially didn't want to tell him anything, he'd really liked Sarah so he let Richard know he'd already hired someone else. Richard let Sarah know immediately and she thanked him for checking.

He looked in on her once a day for the next week until she assured him she would be okay. He wasn't sure he believed her, but she'd told him she'd been spending time with her parents, and the one real friend she had in town who taught school with her.

"But please stop by often," she told him.

"Just not every day, right?" he replied with a smile.

"I really can't thank you enough for everything," she said one more time.

"I wish I could do more," he told her sincerely just before giving her a final hug.

A week passed and Richard was going to stop by and check in on her when his phone rang. He looked down and saw it was from Sarah.

"Hey, you doing okay?" he asked in a friendly way.

"Richard? Can I come over?" she asked, her voice shaky the way it had been those first few days after Rick's death.

"Yes. Sure. Of course. Is everything okay?" he asked genuinely concerned.

"I'll...I'll tell you about it when I get there, all right?" she informed him.

"I'll be here waiting," he said before the line went dead.

He willed himself not to worry, but he knew something was wrong just by the way she sounded. He met her on the porch and invited her in.

"Can I get you something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea? A beer maybe?"

Sarah sat there for a moment looking down before saying, "I can't have a beer."

"What? Why not?" he asked before it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Sarah? Are you..."

"Pregnant? Yes. I am," she told him.

"Oh, my... When did you find out?" he asked as he sat across from her.

"Maybe an hour ago?" she told him. "I've been late many times, but never this late."

She looked up at him then said, "We were so careful, Richard. Every time!"

He ran his hand through his hair then said, "What...what are your plans?"

"Oh, I'm keeping the baby. Absolutely. That was never even a question," she replied without hesitation. "I'm just so...shocked."

"Did you actually see a doctor?" he asked.

"Yes. I took a home test—twice—and they were both positive. I went to the free clinic and just got the lab results. I'm definitely pregnant."

"How can I help?" was Richard's next response. "Just name it."

"You've already helped so much. I...I don't really know. I mean, I lost my healthcare when I resigned and sure, I could sign up for Obamacare, but..."

"Forget it. You'd pay out the as...nose for premiums and have deductibles in the many thousands of dollars. That's not an option."

"Well, do you need a maid or maybe a painter?" she said forcing a smile.

Richard reached out for her hands and when she gave them to her he said, "I don't want you to worry about a thing, okay? I'll take care of everything."

"Richard. No, I can't..."

"Done deal. No arguing. Doctor visits, the birth itself, everything," he told her.

"It's...it's too much, Richard. I could never..."

"Sarah. Sweetheart, you're carrying my grandchild. My only link to my son. Please let me do this for you. For the baby. For...for Rick. Please."

She looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity. She also felt it in his voice and in his hands.

"What if...what if the baby has something wrong? Like a heart valve or I don't know...just anything?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, we're going to find you a doctor. A real OB-GYN doctor and get you set up for regular visits, prenatal care, and everything else you need," he told her.

He saw her blinking away tears again and his heart hurt for her.

"What it it, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Why are you so good to me?" she asked as tears fell. "How did I get so lucky to meet your son and have him love me? And...and why do you...love me so much?"

"Hey. Don't cry," he said as he sat next to her.

Once again he put his arm around her then said, "I love you because Rick loved you. And you're a wonderful person in your own right, Sarah. How could anyone not love you?"

He heard her take several ragged breaths before saying, "I don't even know where to start to thank you."

"I do," he said with a smile.

"Name it," she said finally looking at him.

"Say, yes. That's all. Just let me do this for you, okay?"

She sat there looking into his eyes for several seconds before quietly saying, "Okay. Yes."

"That's my girl!" Richard said as he hugged her tight with one arm. "Come on. Let's find you a decent doctor, shall we?"

As usual, his first call was to his doctor friend at the post hospital. He had two recommendations and told Richard which one he thought was best.

"Got it. What else should we know?"

He jotted down notes as his friend rattled off things to make sure got taken care of then Richard thanked him profusely.

"Anytime, General," the Army doctor-colonel told him again.

Two days later, Richard drove Sarah to her first appointment and asked a ton of questions after explaining who he was and why he was there with her. They left with prescriptions for vitamins and a follow-up appointment in two weeks.