Emily's Home - Ginger's Out Ch. 05

The next thirty minutes were full of 'oh my gods,' TMIs, LOLs, and short cuts I'd never heard of. They giggled at each other's stories and laughed at my confusion. I think they're both doing well. Each had a boy friend, hated this week's girlfriends, and both were looking forward to their spring dances. Terese called Meg's date 'the jock.' Meg blushed. Meg called Terese the school siren. "If you want to spread a rumor about someone tell Terese." Terese rolled her eyes and gave her sister the finger. I was highly amused. Yes, Meg had her license. Terese was in Driver's Ed. Terese made sure to let me know her sister had two moving violations. Meg blushed, glared and threw a pillow.

Meg asked, 'So Mom told us about you and Uncle Bill, Aunt Em. We were all real sad about that; you okay?"

I shrugged. "He didn't want to be married to me anymore, girls. I wasn't happy but I had to move on." I smiled.

Terese said, "I've heard Mom and Dad call you Ginger. What's up with that?" I smiled and pointed at my hair. Each of them laughed. "So is it okay if we call you that?"

"Of course, darling, please do. What I tell people I know is that I was Emily Sue Rogers when I was married and the single me is Ginger Butler."

"Oh my gosh! You took your maiden name back?" Aren't they cute? I nodded.

"And, as your Mother said, the Butler girls are going shopping tomorrow." More squeals. "So Meg, tell me about this hottie of yours." She turned ten shades of red.

"They're going to a party, Aunt Ginger, which means they'll spend the entire night making out." Meg looked at her sister and glared. "Well it's true."

"And what about my very cute youngest niece? What sort of merriment is on your platter tonight?"

"I'm going to a movie with some friends." She blushed. I smiled. Meg snickered.

From the kitchen came the call, "Dinner!" The girls jumped up and ran - as much in relief as hunger. The sooner dinner was over, the sooner they were out of the house. I sat, shaking my head. The circle of life -- it's wonderful. David came, sat next to me, and put his arm around me. I lay my head on his shoulder. He didn't have to say a word. The gesture spoke volumes; him, comforting me. He kissed me on the top of the head, got up and walked to the kitchen with me right behind him. My god it smelled fabulous.

I looked at the table and looked at my sister; she smiled. Our Mom's all time favorite dinner - pot roast with pan-roasted potatoes. I knew Jen had done it just for me and I knew only she and I would know. I had to fight back tears. Jenny had them too. David seemed to pick up on the vibe between us. Comfort food from thirty years ago. It was heavenly; Jen had included onions, carrots, celery and spices. The meat was 'melt in your mouth' good. The potatoes were crisp from the meat juices and tender inside. The veggies: heavenly. I snuck glances and smiles at my sister. The kids inhaled ... no wait, they're girls. They dabbled at their food and asked to be excused. Me? I had to resist the urge to lick the plate! I asked for more potatoes, veggies and gravy. David got what I wanted. What I wanted was in Dayton. God dammit. I glanced at Jen; she saw it in my eyes. "Davey, would you clean up so Em and I can go downstairs and talk?" A demand wrapped in a question, wife to husband. He smiled at me. Jenny filled my wine glass and we headed downstairs. She pushed a button and the fireplace lit up.

"What are you gonna do honey?" I sighed.

"Fuck if I know. I have one woman I love and another I lust for. Mo is a cop and that scares me. Lily? She's so sweet, smart, and she hurt me terribly. I'm not sure if I can ever trust her again. Thing is, she seduced me, she seduced Kathy, and I seduced Nora -- and, then there's Mo. That's the unknown. I have no explanation for it honey. You and David -- you're so good together. Me and Mo, there's this 'thing' she has. It's ... I see her and I'm a puddle. She is so fucking sexy. We've made love a couple of times -- it's hot, hotter and hottest. The first time we met, she pulled me on the dance floor, and she had me in ... oh god Jen, I can't even explain it. I was gasping for air, I was so horny, and I ... I ... it was like nothing I'd ever experienced. She has something that just is irresistible to me and it bugs me I can't put my finger on it." I shrugged. I looked; Jenny was staring at me. What? Had I said too much?

"Do you know you talk about Lily one way and Mo a completely different way?" I nodded.

"Oh yeah, I'm very aware. Lily is comfortable, warm, and fabulous. Mo is ... borderline dangerous, wild, and crazy. I described it as a Star Trek tractor beam. In her presence, I'm like a completely different person -- just as wild, lustful, and crazy as she is. Jen, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but when Mo and I make love it was the most wild, uninhibited and lustful sex I'd ever had in my life. Lily and I talked about it in general terms. Oddly, she has a Mo. Her name is Elise. She said, 'Elise is a drug, and I'm an Elise junkie.' That's kind of how it is with me and Mo. But this is me -- Ginger. Julia opened Pandora's Box and I will never be Emily ever again."

I looked at my sister -- her face was flushed. Oh no, no, no, no -- not another Nora. I stood and headed upstairs to fill my wine. I sat in the kitchen chair. I saw David in the family room; he looked at me. I had the feeling he'd heard some or all of what we'd talked about. FUCK! I got up, walked to him and said, "Please take me to the hotel." God bless him, he nodded, stood, and grabbed the keys. I put my wine on the counter. Jenny might be pissed but ... I just can't.

We drove in silence. When we pulled into the driveway, David spoke, "She loves you Ginger. She wants you to be happy. She used to cry for you when she knew you were miserable with Bill. I'm so glad you're here. The girls needed to see you. You're in one hell of a mess. I can't even begin to fathom -- and I wish you well. We both just want you to be happy. I'll have Jen call you in the morning. Sleep well." He smiled; what a doll. I kissed him on the cheek and got out of the car, headed to the elevator, and then to my room. It was too early and I was too on edge.

I went to the lobby. Was there a bar nearby that was open this late? Yes, out the door, turn right, one block. I walked in the door. It was crowded, noisy and looked like fun. I pushed to the bar, ordered a white wine, and looked to find a place to sit. I scanned the room. My eyes locked on her; she was looking at me. My heart skipped a beat -- spectacular, dark brown hair, brushed but not fussed with, long enough to fall south of her shoulders, deep brown eyes, long lashes, a face not so narrow as to be harsh, dimples, full, perfect lips, a slender neck and shoulders ... little hoops in her ears, a rope with a silver looking curved charm diving into the valley, a scooped ocean blue top, sleeves to the elbows, fitted jeans ... oh you get the picture. Italian? Hispanic? Gorgeous!

I stared at the glass, turned and walked to her. "Hi, I'm Ginger."

"I'm Marilyn. Hi Ginger. What's a woman as gorgeous as you doing on a Saturday evening?"

"I'm visiting my sister and her family -- a long overdue trip." I shrugged.

"That's really sweet honey. Want to come back to my room with me?" Yup, that's how I wound up in Marilyn's room. Yup, it was fabulous. Yup, she was a fantastic lover. Yup, I felt like shit again, after.

I walked back to my room, locked the door, undressed, poured myself a glass of wine, and sat. I sat and brooded. One thing for sure: I needed a vacation. I needed to get away, clear my head, and make some decisions about this life of mine. Is it okay to look in the mirror and see your eyes soft and warm from fabulous sex with someone you don't give a shit about and will never see again? Am I 'Ginslut,' the woman who was seduced by Julia and by Lily, who just had a one-nighter with a stranger? Oh yeah, right -- another stranger. Or am I Ginger, a woman deeply wounded, desperate for human contact and release?

I was very troubled about Jenny, but I didn't know if she was upset with me, disconcerted about my behavior (or lifestyle), or, god forbid, turned on. It's none of my business. I'm comfortable being me. She's very married and her David is a sweetheart. Yes, I know that doesn't preclude her being with a woman, just not me. Yeah, I read the stories. I wouldn't and I won't. Period!

I sat, stared at the walls and out at the night, and turned these things over and over in my mind. I shook my head and sighed. I finished my wine, turned off the lights, took off my bra and panties, slipped into bed, stared at the ceiling, and, eventually, fell into a restless, uneasy sleep.

The phone woke me up Saturday ... it was Jenny. "What time do you want to go shopping?"

"I don't care. Whenever you get here."

"Are you okay? Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah; it's okay." I looked at the clock -- geez. It was already nine. "Let me get going here. I have to rush and see if I can still grab some breakfast. Take your time. I'm looking forward to shopping; we're going to do some serious damage today Jen -- warn David." We both laughed. Hmm. She sounded okay. We'd have time to chat during the day. I fluffed my hair and quickly put some clothes on. I rushed downstairs, not bothering with the elevator, and found there was still some food left. Phew! I grabbed some coffee, some bacon and eggs, and breakfast burritos. I thought of just taking the food upstairs but I was hungry. I sat down, wolfed down the bacon and eggs and sipped the coffee. I went back for more bacon. The hotel people were beginning to close things down. Okay, a lot more bacon. Yeah, I took one more burrito too. I ate the burrito, grabbed more coffee, and took the rest back to the room.

I stripped and jumped in the shower. After I toweled off I did the rest of the morning thing, including some makeup. Oh, and I ribboned. I would not be sharing this with my sister. But we would be doing a lot of walking and ... well, why the hell not? My eyes sparkled mischievously as I looked in the mirror while putting on my makeup. Navy blue slacks with an orange, long sleeve, cotton top, comfy shoes. I think I would ask Jen if there was a Nordstrom anywhere nearby. Lily was going to take me there. I'd go with my sister instead.

My phone buzzed. Ugh! Lily: I miss u (: Jerk! You wouldn't be if you hadn't messed things up. I miss you too and I love you. That's why I hurt so badly. I'm not going to let this wreck my day.

The phone buzzed again. Jenny: On the way. Good. I finished the last of the breakfast and coffee, grabbed my purse and phone, and headed downstairs. About three minutes later Jenny pulled up. I got in the car, we kissed, and I asked, "Jen, is there a Nordstrom in the area?"

"Yeah, in Des Peres; do you want to shop there?"

"Yes please, if it's close." She shrugged.

"There's one in the city but this one is closer. I know where it is; sounds good." We headed out. "You left without saying goodbye. What happened?"

"Umm, I didn't know if you were upset with me or about me talking about my life. I was ... upset with myself. I just asked David to take me back. Jen, I just have to say this. It's not my business if you were but I did think that maybe you were a little turned on."

"No, it's not your business. Yes, I was. And no, I'm not nor would I. I was very unhappy for you when you were with Bill. I admit it's something of a shock to think of my sister as a lesbian, but if you're happy, then I'm happy for you. I'm your sister, Emily Sue, not your conscience. David and I have a very satisfying romantic life even with three children." I was looking at her as she talked. We were at a red light; she turned to look at me. "The way you talk about your Mo, it's impossible not to get a little turned on. I won't say you were graphic but it's clear she's quite gorgeous and you find her very attractive. You've got your hands full, honey." The light changed and she drove. "I do hope you take that vacation. The divorce isn't even final yet; you've been through a lot Ginger."

"I know kiddo. I'm going to make some calls Monday. I don't even know where to go. Maybe we can talk about that some while I'm here. Lily texted me this morning; she misses me. Yeah, you jerk, I miss you too." I could see my sister shake her head. "I do need to get away and take some time for myself and sort all this out. But today we shop!!" I smiled, Jenny smiled. We chatted about the kids. I wanted to know where Meg was going to college. Jenny said she wanted to go to Northwestern; she was a varsity lacrosse player and on honor roll. Wow! Northwestern women's lacrosse is the pinnacle of women's college lacrosse. I don't know beans about lacrosse but even I know that.

Yay, Nordstrom's. I wanted to find a dress and a coat; the dress was more important. I didn't know what I wanted; I wanted help figuring it out. I have to tell you a secret. (It won't be after I put it in the story) I found a link to this cool blog, even if it was several years old. 'The Closet Therapist' wrote a great article on the value of a Personal Shopper. By the way Jennifer, I hope you and hubby have 'success.' (wink) Anyway, I had bookmarked the article. My goal, today, was only one dress, but I knew I would get a complete outfit (or more) that would be perfect for me.

Her name is Janice; she's a tiny little thing, bubbly and gorgeous. I told her I wanted a dress. She looked me up and down, took me by the hand, and led me to a rack of clothes. She looked again, looked at the clothes, and pulled out a ... oh my god!! I'm a six, sometimes an eight. The dress was red, bordering on orange, with mustard colored threads running through it. She put me in front of a mirror, and held up the dress. I looked at Jenny in shock. It was perfect for me. Janice showed me where the dressing room was and hurried off for accessories. I took off the sweater and slacks and shrugged the dress over my shoulders. The sleeves were just past my elbows, the neck wasn't scooped, it was perfect. It set off my fair skin, blue eyes, and ginger hair like magic. It was a little short -- and I was ribboned!!

I came out of the dressing room. Janice beamed! Jenny shook her head, smiling. Janice wrapped a dark brown sash around my waist and tied it off. She draped a gorgeous necklace around my neck. The necklace was thin, gold plated and had round balls of different sizes that complemented the colors in the dress fabulously. Last -- a beaming Janice held up mustard colored leggings. I went and tried them on, looked in the mirror ... and jumped up and down with joy. Oh my god! I flounced out of the dressing room. Jenny actually clapped; Janice was beaming like a proud Mama. I mentioned I was going on vacation -- somewhere warm. Oh my god, the woman went nuts. She showed me some bikinis -- I reminded her I was forty seven. She giggled. They were gorgeous. I undressed (blushing) and came out to show them off. Some were okay, some not. The ones that weren't, she put back. She made sure everything hid the flaws (many) and showed off my, umm, assets. Jenny nodded and smiled at Janice's comments and suggestions. I won't admit how much money I spent that day but Janice did herself proud -- and my suitcase was going to be a lot more crowded going home.

I asked Janice if she would join Jenny and I for lunch. She checked with her manager; we had a great lunch at a place called Dickey's Barbecue Pit. Janice loved her job (duh) and hoped she'd have the chance to move up in the company. Was there a way we could help? A note or email to someone? That seemed to stump her. Did she have a business card? No. I asked her to write out her full name -- I would find a way. Jenny looked at me; I shook my head. Janice slid the little notebook back to me. Umm, maybe I spoke too soon; she put her phone number and email under her name. I looked at her and smiled. You just never know. We dropped Janice off at the store. Jenny shook her hand; so did I. Her smile was a little brighter for me. We drove off. I showed Jenny the page; she nearly drove the car into a wall.

We found a bar. "What on earth Ginger? Janice? That little thing? How did you know?" I admitted I didn't. But she is and she sensed it about me. "And why didn't she hit on me?"

"Jen, I don't have a clue." Have I told you what my sister looks like? I honestly don't remember so let me do so. I'm 5 ft 6 in, 140-ish, dark red hair, fair complexion, and blue eyes. Jenny? She's 5 ft 7 in, probably 150-ish (kids?), strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, and gorgeous skin. Our Mother (Irish) was a redhead. Neither of us had the Galway Irish coloring. To see us both is to know we're sisters. Her body shows some signs of three pregnancies. She's very pretty; and if you make a move on her, I'll kick your ass from here to ... she's my sister and I love her.

I admitted to Jen that I felt a little guilty she hadn't bought anything. She shushed me. "I had so much fun watching you and Janice; that was more than enough."

I teased her, "So you're going to go back and look for her, aren't you?"

Uh oh; her eyes filled. "My big sister gets hit on by a complete stranger, a twenty-something chick. David loves me and I love him. You, you have Lily and Mo and Nora -- who tried to kill you." She looked at her wine and shook her head. I wanted to be on a plane -- anywhere.

"I have no more of a clue than you Jen. It was maybe ... six weeks ago that Julia completely turned my life upside down. I can't explain it. I never expected it. I don't know why that little girl seems to be attracted to me. You're my sister and I think you're gorgeous. You're right, David adores you." I stopped, took a breath, and said, "I never cheated on Bill. Not once, and I'm pretty sure he did. Don't be me Jen -- be you. You're wonderful. Coming here to be with you -- it has reminded me just how much you are. I feel like an ass for not coming sooner."

"What's it like Em?" Oh lord. Oh my god, no, no. "When you and Mo make love, what's it like?" I signaled for the check. No, this is not going to happen. I stood, took the check, paid and walked out of the bar. I stood at Jenny's car until she came out. She opened the doors, slid into the driver's seat. "You're my sister, goddammit. Tell me."

I did - in great detail.

We pulled into the hotel parking lot. "I'll find somewhere to have dinner tonight Jenny. I'm sorry I dragged you into the mess that is my life. I love being with you, David, and the girls but all this is too much. You can do what you want but I can't be a party to it. I just can't." She leaned over and kissed me. I kissed her. I got out and went to my room. There are some of you who wish we had, some of you who are angry that we didn't, some of you who understand. I called Southwest. Oh good, there was room on the direct flight leaving at 6:30 pm. I called the front desk and ordered a cab. I hurried to pack my bag. Oh my god - all the extra stuff! I would have to carry some things on the flight. I rushed to finish, ran downstairs and checked out. No, everything was fine, I have an emergency at home, and hopped in the cab.

I got my boarding pass. I'm sorry Jenny but I love you too damn much to do this to and/or with you. Whatever the fallout is we will deal with it. I was in boarding group C. Like that mattered. I called ... oh hell; you know who I called. She said yes; she would meet me at the L Room. I told Mo what time the flight landed and the drive time. She told me she didn't have to work tomorrow. Shazam! I grabbed a sandwich on the way to the gate. I would have wine on the plane. I had two. I laughed - flying time was one hour forty five minutes with the time zone change. I knew what I wanted and what I wanted to say. And I would.