by MindsMirror
Lot's of this feels and sounds true. Bio says couple, so I want to believe it's true. Keep them coming.
The title says it all. No kids out of the union, have been in love/lust with each other for ever and 99.9% chance of neither of them hurting each other, let it rock!!
I can see where you've taken every comment to heart from the first part of this story, and tried to please everyone, and now it's just dull and rambling; once again, there's far too much pointless detail, nothing that moves the story along. This should be snappy and punchy, considering all the good advice you were given last time, why is it just more of the same? IMHO, this is 2 pages too long.
I know that 99% of the stuff on here is fantasy. But this one was believable. Sex was part of the story and not "the" story. It was also a refreshing change to read one where they are both quite a bit older instead of the barely 18 plots I'm use to seeing. No huge breasts or baseball bats for cocks. You left that to our imagination.
Generally well written and realistic storyline, although it does contain a fair amount of non-essentials (IE - overtly detailed food descriptions) which stretches the length without adding real plot or character development to the storyline?
In future chapters, how you portray the immediate family and friends/workmates being informed of / included into the primary relationship will be an intriguing challenge for you. However, I believe that you have already given a clue that a younger mirror image relationship exists between the other family siblings?
I look forward to reading your next instalment.
Best of Written Efforts,
Pwagro
You have a great story here, just needs more chapters. Thanks
I'm not sure if you're just a foody or if you're hungry while typing, but I've had to start skipping over the long drawn out food sections of your stories for a couple reasons. Firstly, they make me hungry, and secondly, they don't really add anything to the plot. You've already told us how well the couple knows each other with a restaurant/food scene. One of those is really enough.
Since english is not my first language I will not comment that. The story is great. Inspiring details that makes the story realistic and alive.
Great build up and description of a relationship growing. Nice description of the sexscenes too.
Overall a nice story. Give me more...
I agree with Mark757. I much more enjoy a well told story which includes realistic sex than the offerings of the herd of One-Page Stroke-Story scribes on here and other sites. I know the food is just another example of love. After a nice dinner prepared by me, no woman ever told me she would prefer McD's, Swanson or Domino's next time. More often than not, we were soon in bed. Food from the heart is sexy. This seems to fly over the heads of many.
Most of the stories in this genre are just kinky sex stories. This series appears to be exploring new ground -- how does one explain to their children that they are in an intimate relationship with the children's aunt/uncle? Once the children know, the ex's are bound to find out, and with exposure comes the expected social backlash.
I'm looking forward to seeing where this series goes.
...and it all seems to dovetail together very nicely indeed !!
Eagerly awaiting the next Chapter in this Series - not forgetting how Zane is coping without her Brother ?
You really ARE hitting the sweet spot with BOTH Stories!!
Well Done & and Thank You.
should be in Corpus Christi with Dan and Kate, Zane and Adam, Tom and Suzan together for the Holidays.
As I think of the possibilities I flash back to the Andy Griffith Show and keep hearing
Surprise, Surprise, Surprise.
Beautifully written, well paced and great characters. Love the #FoodPorn. Those descriptions are perfect. I had to break off twice as I had the munchies. This series and an Unwitting Discovery just cry out for a Zane and Jack and Tommy and Suzan to meet up over the Festive period. I'm off now to read Unintended Consequences.
Keep up the good work.
We continue to make corrections and tweaks to enhance our first story. In fact, we've been posting refreshes to most of our stories to fix issues. The fixes should be live in a few days. -MM
The story line flowed pretty well until the twerking comment slipped in. I'm in my late 60's so I should know all the terms--this one stumped me. I traveled to Austria, Switzerland, France, Germany, Belgium and Luxemburg in my earlier years so I'm anxious to see the trip to Paris through your eyes. Keep the story flowing. Your readers will just sit back and enjoy the adventure.
A portmanteau of twisting and jerking.
The word is only documented as existing as far back as 1820, but it was spelled twirking until 1901
Thanks for all of your efforts, talent and writing skills. Really enjoy the story flow on all three stories. In this story, on the 4th re-read, I still get hung up on the Melatona dosage. Normal dose is 1- 2 mg. tab. Love your work. Please, please give us more in the lives of both generations.
It's been 9 months since part 2 was published, do you have any idea when part 3 will be available ?
Loving the whole story so far !
All three storylines are being continued. We are multiple lit pages into each but have been being blocked on them. We hope to release them when they are ready. In the meantime, we are continuing with Page and a couple of other stories. -MM
So far I have read two of the stories the way you suggested and found them exciting and so far no interference from outside people only hope it stays that way in the last story or I will be very disappointed.
Fits the excellence mold - maybe just a little bit to much extra information. Some of the details end up being somewhat off the point of the story
Really enjoyed it so far. Think the comments you made about the suggested reading order at the beginning were correct. Reading Unintended Consequences first was the right thing to do....
Looking forward to reading the next chapter(s)...
I do hope you are continuing this well developed story.
RIP. Don't worry about next chapters, not gonna happen.
The writers are very much alive and working on all of the stories. -MM
I really hope you finish this series it's very good I really hope the get married
Do you plan to finish this story with another chapter? Would be great if you did. Tommy's summer trip with them?
WAA
But it’s a 1. I really think writers on this site OWE it to their readers to finish a story. This is a potential 5 star story. But it’s not done. So it’s a 1.
I would like more of just these two
Phrase continue with just them don't add anyone it will kill the love connection. Please finish
Has the potential of a great story, but please finish it before writing the next story, been too long waiting for the end
This was excellent; really an enjoyable read. How about some drama in the next chapter; maybe some conflict with exes. 5 stars of course. Please don't make us wait too long. It's already been a few years now; hasn't it? (12/8/2021)
Are going to continue and finish this story too. I’m excited about finishing Page, but adding needed chapters to these stories that required finishing years ago excites me no end.
I wish you well and welcome back
A wonderful story! The love each had for the other really moved me. In my 49-year marriage, it's been mostly her needing me. Only recently have I realized how different it might have been if she had wanted me instead of needing me. There have been good times, and obviously I've stayed, I just wish the baggage we both brought has made it difficult. Your stories assure me that there are people who enjoy a different relationship, and I'm happy for them all.
Exceptional - what a remarkable story! Brilliant group of characters and interesting plot. Thanks for writing this story and series. I have truly enoyed reading each chapter. 5 Stars.
It would be fantastic if both sets of brothers and sisters were married in Amsterdam. Great story series.