All Comments on 'Entrapment'

Very funny in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. Nothing to be too true or believable but I'm sure that was the intent. Loved it as she walked right into he trap. Again, light hearted and funny where the bitch got burned and the world rid of one piece of vermin. Everyone understands the universe is better for it lol. Thanks for the fun read today.

A good read. Always some humor, but, the motel scene had me laughing out loud.

Thanks SS06!

It is a interesting story but there is really not much to like or someone to cheer FOR. What we have here are a bunch of ignorant stupid redneck clowns who are still thinking about their lives in terms of high school. Throughout the entire story I was thinking ... Grow the Fuck up ready people!... Read a book or something ...

Belinda is a sell centered repulsive delusional cunt. A fat droppy tits Ex high school cheerleader who puts on her uniform... does not in any way a look sexy or appealing to any man and it says something about how detached she is from reality that she actually thinks that it might.

On the other hand the Dennis's actions here were ALMOST as bad. It's clear he has a chip on the shoulder when the story begins because of Belinda sex with Eric. Dennis is operating under the assumption that the story he was told and Dennis and Belinda -- a one night drunken mistake -- was truthful and accurate.

Using GOLF as an excuse to go out and hook up with Steff is pretty deceitful in some way and certainly not significantly better from what Belinda did with Eric OR plan to to .. then did .. with Hank.

I am enjoying your weekly stories and this is one of the better ones. The theme really fits society today as cheaters are mostly women now and since they have their equality don't like it when they get dumped on after using sex as a weapon against men.. Ah but such is life that's why there area lot of divorced dumb bitches around.

A good story about a bunch of VERY unlikable clowns--none of whom I would ever want to know.

story has to be retarded do people like this really exist i ask myself and my answer is no, nobody is as stupid as the characters you have in your stories i am not taking a shot at you write what you want but for the love of god at least try to make them believable.

As I read this, skimmed through it because it was impossible to read, I try to form a picture of the literary genius that typed it. I see SS sitting under a hair dryer in a salon with all the girls gossiping about divorces. SS sucks in a smattering of legal information. He must watch t.v. cartoons to get technical information on camera, recorders, maybe magic rings from Happy Meal boxes. All his characters are trailer park trash he dresses up in Sex and the City clothes. Actually there are no characters, only cut outs from True Romance mags. But none of it matters. Throw in a cheating wife and the green flies come swarming in to feast. And worship and adore their hero.

Thanks for sharing!

Yet I must admit the early part if the story was funny. That part of the story was up to a Farrelly brothers farce ( a good one ), so fie on anyone foolish enough to search for life lessons. Yet I thought the humiliations piled on the slut wife at the end went into overkill.

To me, it would have been enough that she has to settle for a puny divorce settlement. Infidelity & lies should be penalized in a perfect world, afterall. Apparently getting her name on sex offenders list was needed as well. To some people, it's not enough to knock someone down in a fight and walk away leaving them dazed.

Kick them in the head then the groin - just to be sure because as Pat Benetar , Stang & his fans so well know ...love is a battlefield. At least there were some satiric gems early on before the artillery started pounding relentlessly.

Despite the cast of unlikable characters, this farce still delivered the diversion you intended it to be. My comment is just to say thankyou for continuing to churn 'em out, giving us something different each week. Your contributions make being addicted to this site worthwhile. Thanks again for your work. Even like the sex you write about, even when its bad it is still good, and when its good you seem to knock it out of the park. Perfection comes with practice, and we all benefit from you exercising those creative muscles....Keep it up!!!

You said you enjoyed writing this and I very definitely enjoyed reading it. I laughed 'til I cried. It did seem a shame, though, that Hank had to die after being set up like he was. It detracted from the "tongue in cheek" nature of the tale.

Paying the whore 10K which was double the amount the lawyer was paying was a bit too much. Kind of made him a wimp. Kind of.

As usual top notch!

Funny ass story took Head Cheerleader long enough to figure it all out but in the End her attitude Cost Her.

Another week. Another well done story! 5*

Finally the StangStar I enjoy reading is back!

I actually felt sorry for stupid, selfish Belinda. By the end of this tale Dennis was looking almost as creepy as his wife. This one should be under the "People Suck" category, where everyone is an asshole.

.. because I suspect the grading system kicks out * which this piece deserved.

The author cranks these stories out almost weekly. There is never character not ploy development beyond the woman is stupid and greedy and the guy is saint-like in his forbearance and forgiveness.

It is my own fault that I waste time going through a few pages - 1,part of 2, less of 3, and then most of 6 to see if I missed anything. I didn't

You had some really funny lines in this story. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks

You know I agree with Dennis in that the grass was certainly greener on the other side of the fence with what he had and Steff on the other side. However I think he spent way to much time and effort trying to climb over the fence. He simply should have gotten a divorce for irreconcilable differences and moved on.

As is I couldn't find a single character in this story I liked. Belinda is some kinda self centered harpy/shrew with an IQ that I'm sure doesn't pass into the triple digits that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Steff is an obsessive fruitcake that has absolutely no problem with stepping into someone's marriage and fucking a married man if it's the one she wants. Dennis while not as much of an asshole as his wife (or god forbid her mother *shutter*) most certainly was one in this story.

I don't even understand the purpose behind the scheme really. I guess to prevent her from getting some more money? It couldn't be because of him really wanting the moral high ground. I mean the only people he'd really be concerned about upsetting by dumping her were all in on the scheme anyway so they obviously wouldn't have cared if he just skipped it and divorced her. It just seemed a completely unnecessary elaborate ruse to cheat her out of some money and destroy her reputation (what little of one she had) with what few people might still give a damm about her and destroy her emotionally. It wasn't even challenging with her double digit IQ.

Yeah I donno. A character doesn't need to be a saint by a long shot for me to like them but I just could not find anyone in this story to like. Normally I love your stuff but this one just didn't do it for me.=/

Outlandish plots...that's your genre now? I don't really like your stories anymore, how about regressing a bit and re-invent yourself as you were in the past? The writing as always was technically excellent, you are a good wordsmith...plot and character development...not so much. Unless of course that is your devious plan! :)

Best Regards,

TJ

SS: what do you have against 1) cheerleaders? and 2) women in general?

Characters are getting less believable and the situations pretty out there. For my part, the earlier, more real stories were more enjoyable.

I liked it but if dennis didn't put his food down earlier he wouldn't have stayed married after the first time no matter what her friends said. very amusing to see the guy doing the cheating for a good cause so to speak. Liked it light hearted and funny.

Such fiction deserves to be read over and over.

Give it a 6 in a 5 point world.

:-)

Loved it! Laughed lots-a fun story!

Well well done, a bright smile kinda story!

your stories are in the best top five on this site.

This wasn't my favorite SS story by a long shot. But it's still better than anything else I read this week. This was obviously intended to be one of his funnier stories and in that he succeeded. I prefer his darker stories. What scares me is the comments. Last week several people complained how men in the stories are always perfect or saintly. This week we have a guy who is cheating on his wife and claiming he's playing golf. He also sets his wife up to cheat on him. He left an old lady at a bus stop in a bad neighborhood because she talked about hos car. That doesn't sound like prince charming, it sounds more like prince cheater. Yet there are several comments from people who either haven't read the story and wrote a comment anyway or they just have an agenda. I tried writing a story here once. It was not well received. Perhaps I lack the talent for writing but I'm still not going to throw rocks at the people who do. Jealous much?

man that was funny. sorry for her, still, what a hoot. THANK YOU

Another fine tale of someones love live. Thanks for your stories & as always will be waiting for the next one.

...a pretty typical SS06 offering. And then I realized that it would actually make a pretty decent movie. Say, cast Channing Tatum as Dennis, John Goodman as Danny, Ray Romano as Ray, and maybe Deborah Messing as Stephanie. It was a much better read when I started thinking of it in those terms.

There's gotta be a cable channel out there that needs this story.

The is a simple piece of humorous fiction with the characters cast larger than life for effect. Great work and certainly worthy of the author. Who gives a feck that some of the characters were Neanderthal, childish or whatever. It's a simple piece of good fun. 5 stars!

that the literary professors here do not know that this kind of thing happens every day in suburbia. Watch or read the news much? Funny or not it is true. Five.

Great read. Damn amusing.

A good read for a Saturday morning!

There were a few moments in this story that were amusing, but I think it was mostly overdone. It was a bit like "The Big Bang" TV show; there are some pretty nerdy people at schools like Caltech (or MIT), but the behavior is way over the top and not credible, both in that TV show and in this story. There was no eroticism here, but maybe such does not go with satiric humor or farce. I found it a bit choppy to get through but it was fairly original and provided entertainment, so I'll rate it three stars. Thanks for writing.

It's fiction. You may love it or hate it, but don't take it or yourself to seriously. I thought it was a great story.

I like it!

***** !

Excellent story, loved it from start to finish. I read it at 5:30 in the morning because I couldn't sleep and ended up reading the whole story before i went back to sleep. Just couldn't put it down.

I loved it! You had me captured from start to finish! Please keep writing ;) you have a gift!

Didn't like this one. You didn't make the "hero" likeable. He had no plans to fix his life until the other woman showed up. His life was what he let it become, so all it was or wasn't, should be laid at his feet. It was easier to feel sympathy for the wife. I guess I just don't like stories about people who cause heartache in others to further their own agenda.

Still, I await your next offering. Thanks for writing.

and funny and goofy and entertaining and needs to accomplish nothing more than that.

Thanks for the tale Stang. Loved the characters...dumb and dumber...beauty and the bitch! etc

Another interesting read Stang. I love your stories and look for them each week. I have to say though, lately there has been something missing from them that used to be there. The husband character just doesn't seem to have justice and right (for lack of a better way to describe it) on his side lately. This guy didn't love his wife, just like the guy from last weeks story, and he cheated on his wife to boot. Doesn't matter that she deserved it (I actually hated her character this week more than usual). I don't know...I guess I'm hoping for one of those "honest, cowboy gets justice, a new beauty to love and ride off into the sunset with" type classic stang stories. Either way, not a bad story at all having said that. Keep em' coming and I'll keep reading them!

ditto valerion

Don't understand why, but appears definite to me. Shame, because a gifted author.

I think most readers enjoy a story that uses better English, especially with the adverbs and adjectives. Good reading to good readers avoids the constant use of use of uneducated street language. No educated person such as those depicted here would stoop so low as to constantly use vulgarity and offensive "sub" English. Lighten up on the vulgarities and the story becomes more real.

Look at the top rated stories and none of them uses the cesspool language you use.

Cheating wife theme is getting old and tired. You did a good job of incorporating the cheating wife theme into your story but the story was both boring and dumb. It is time to shift themes. Why not use husband cheating, lack of commitment, or failure to communicate objectively. As a male, I would prefer husband cheating. I mean fare is fare plus it adds balance.

Same characters same car throw the Dice and another cool story rolls off the table.

I THOUGHT IT WAS FUN! for a tag you need a "bubble gum process server"

a really good read that was interresting from the begining. husband wanting wife to cheat was a good change of pace.

Every time I read one of these stories the server of the papers is always chewing and smacking gum

I guess you dislike football players/cheerleaders given how you portrayed them in this story. I do think that this story should be in the Humor/Satire category because there was some many funny moments in the story. This is one of the few stories where the husband is a silly cheater. Who falls in love and start fucking someone they have not seen in 10 years while married. One minute he is Belinda's love slave and the next minute he is foaming at the mouth about Steff. Of course, he blames Belinda on why is he married to her fat bitching self and why he caves to her every whim. Like I said - funny!!!!

...looking for the "sex" scenes, in these stories because so many of them seem to miss whole reams of details that are important in order to truly "get" the story and its ending. The varied comments on this particular Stang-ster contribution make it quite obvious that this one's a textbook "case in point". So let's do a bit of a re-cap:

Dennis Williams - The husband, and fairly typical of the male protagonists in a story by StangStar. He's loyal, honest, hard-working, and just a bit of a starry-eyed romantic. He's been married for some years to Belinda, who doesn't appear to truly appreciate the sort of man he is. He works hard to create a lite-style in which she doesn't really need to work, and provides her with every little thing her heart desires. Nice home, big yard, lush landscaping, a pool, a BMW of her choosing. Yet he's treated as if he was nothing but the butler, gardener, and ATM Card. He made the mistake, years ago, of allowing friends to push him and Belinda to the altar when the relationship was based on good sex, but not true love. Still, where most men would take a long hard look at things, cut their losses, and get a divorce on the grounds of "irreconcilable differences", and move on, he's trying to be the honorable man and hang in there - this, despite Belinda's infidelity with Eric.

And, yes, he DOES wind up "cheating" on Belinda with Stephanie. But, in point of fact, Belinda cheated first, with Eric. And Belinda is in the midst of denying sex to Dennis over a petty incident for which SHE is actually at fault.

Belinda Williams - spoiled little princess of a girl while growing up, she's grown quite accustomed to being given anything and everything she asks for, and she's learned the fine art of manipulation - with her words or her body - to get what she wants. She listens far more to her mother, despite the insults that woman heaps upon her husband at every point and turn. And, like most spoiled little girls, she has never really learned to take any sort of pride in her own accomplishments - even that of managing to retain the body she had when she walked to the altar, as she's let that slide WAY downhill. And, lazy? She lounges around all day, "relaxing" - and then wants her husband to go to the beauty supply shop and stand there, snapping pics of lipstick shades with is phone, to send her. Because, if she'd gone out to do the shopping for the lipstick on her own, she wouldn't have been relaxing? What's wrong with this picture, folks?

Danny and Annie Tillman - Two of Dennis' best friends - far more so than he even realizes, at the story's outset. They can see what Dennis apparently does not, or if he sees it, refuses to acknowledge: their friend is trapped by his own honor in a loveless marriage where he's gradually being beaten and ground into the dust. So, when they are confronted with the opportunity to do something beneficial for their friend, they take an enormous risk to accomplish it. They engineer a set-up to put Dennis in the proximity of a woman he knew at college, who's morphed into an absolutely ravishing beauty, and who has never truly fallen out of love with Dennis.

"The Mother-In Law": think "Endora" (from "Bewitched") or "Marie" (from Ray Romano's show), on steroids. She absolutely loathes Dennis, and takes great pleasure in belittling him constantly, both in public and private. Further, she urges her daughter to treat Dennis even less like a husband than she already does. I'm sure that her only goal was to split the pair apart. And then, of course, when the two DO split, she's got "excuses" for her uncouth and ill-mannered actions. "It was tough love, honey," she tells Belinda. "You just didn't follow my instructions the right way." Slide all the blame onto someone else - anyone else. Just don't take any responsibility for your own actions.

The Plot...

Of course, the story is called "Entrapment". Yet, Stang's correct in that it is only "entrapment" when the police do it, because they're the only ones who can both urge a person to commit a crime, and then arrest him for having done so.

In the case of the story, though, it was simply a matter of giving a person just enough rope so as to be able to hang themselves with it. Belinda was a cheater by nature. She'd already proved that, in her affair with Eric, and in her efforts to keep Dennis from finding out that Eric had shagged her more than the one "time when I was drunk". But Belinda was in full control of her own actions. When Dennis seemed to become "less than interested" in sex with her, did Belinda even stop to contemplate that it might be her constant nagging and bitching that could make Dennis uninterested? No. All she could think about was, "If Dennis won't fill my pussy, then I need to find someone who will - who'll fuck me and realize just how fortunate they are to be shagging ME, instead of some skank who doesn't know the first thing about great sex and how to give it."

Yes, Dennis and Danny & Annie conspired to provide Belinda with the opportunity to stray. But Belinda had the choice to stray, or stay. Just as she'd chosen to listen to her mother, and treat Dennis like a servant rather than a husband, she listened to her "little girl" (which wanted stimulated) and slid right on in between the sheets with old Hank.

She got exactly what she deserved.

flummoxed

That's the one word that sums it all up.

Dennis is a shithead and a wimp. If he stayed married to the harpy for that long, it was as much his fault as hers. I guess when his new wife doesn't treat him the way he thinks he should be treated he will do the same to her. Hope his kids never develop a disability or he will send them off to an institution.

Even though Belinda was a useless bitch, in the end I found myself feeling sorry for her. She had her one tryst with Eric and another due to blackmail, so that, along with the way she treated Dennis, should have led to their divorce. However, he forgave her and stayed in the marriage. He does not get a free hand to cheat because she did, he only gets a reason to leave.

However, he does cheat and at the drop of a hat no less. Then when he decides he wants Stephanie, he conspires with his friends to screw Belinda out of what she should have been due in the divorce.

There was nobody to like in this story. Even Stephanie was not without fault. She turned out to be a predator who did not care what trouble she caused as long as she could get what she wanted.

It is hard to believe, but in the end I felt the most sorry for (or the least disappointed in) Belinda. I would have liked ot have just seen this as a parody. However, while parts of the story were way out there, parts were not.

I did not enjoy this story as much as some of your others. But thanks for writing.

Everyone is a bad guy and they all were fun to read about -

The least bad won - Steff and Dennis - good for 'em ,lol

That was an excellent story and well thought out -

I couldn't get pass the golf course part. Six pages of this shit? Unbelievable! One star.

there is a sole brain cell crying of loneliness.

I would not have put up with that treatment a week, much less ten years. However, when he woke up he was pretty shrewd. Belinda was a ball-busting bitch of the first order and deserved most of what happened to her. The Mustang Man gave us a lot of tongue-in-cheek AND broad humor in this story. I loved it for the farce it was, you can't take things seriously in a story like this. Thank you very much StangStar for bring us this enjoyable laugh-a-minute story. Not enough explicit sex but the laughter made up for the lack.

I think I blew snot all over my shirt when Mrs. Doright told Belinda her Dudley had a thing for whores. Ray was a hoot also. Fun story!

That was the funniest story I've ever read on lit. You gotta love dumb Ray. He's like that friend we all have that never gets the joke, but you love him anyway. Why didn't Dennis just divorce her straight off the bat instead of all the elaborate entrapment? But then we wouldn't have gotten this hilarious tale! Loved it!

Absolutely fucking hilarious. And the bored-looking, gum-chewing process server lady, she's just plain awesome. "help out a fellow a fellow cheerleader, honey", lol, absolute classic that one. Haven't laughed this hard in long time. The only thing I didn't get was Belinda's mum's complete about turn in her attitude towards Dennis. There didn't seem to be an explanation for that part.

seriously.

on their pencils, Why....TK U MLJ LV NV

Earlier you said Hank was in town with his wife and two kids. At the motel she came in with THREE kids.

Hank hired a female lawyer, at the settlement meeting you kept referring to his lawyer as him/he.

I laughed so hard that I almost cried! What a fun story.

whether planned or serendipity. TK U MLJ LV NV

I was already laughing before that, but that one really got me roaring. And written in very good style. The one recurring error was using Dennis' instead of Dennis's. 5*!

I just want to say that this is a story you can read and the smile never leaves your face if you have any kind of a sense of humor. Little funny things happen all the way through. This make up for the one (only) of Stang's stories which I did not like, the rest were all great, this one is the most fun.

I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I read this story before I caught the Dudley Do-Right reference.

don't ever stop writing .youdo write some terrific stories. well not some,all tour stories are terrific,so keep writing!

What a writer! Thanks for another fantastic story....with humor too boot.

What a Hoot, but the best part for me was Mucking Foron. Oh Well. ;)

SS that was very entertaining. All the crappy quotes and ridiculous antics came with expected results...to the bitchy wife. As Lucille would say "GET OUT OF TOWN!"

A great story and the antics and some of the comments made me laugh out load. I wish I could have set up my ex something like that hahaha.

and thanks for your efforts. This one was one of my favorites. It is nice to see a group of friends support the husband in a marriage gone bad through no fault of his own.

I may have to take up golf

the ball keeps going in the hole

Stang, this one puts you over the top as a good story writer. I really enjoyed your included humor that gives the story a quality few here can create, I laughed until I had tears a few times. You input just enough details to make is plausible that leads to credibility and makes connections to figures we all know/remember from our past to keep us riveted into wanting to read on and on and on. Creativity like yours is a gift - use it well, keep us wanting to read your next story. I've even bookmarked your page to check up for your next best story. Salute - KRD

Crazy good stuff. Funny as fuck. I'm a bit annoyed at not being able to rant at your writing though.

This story just made my day. I love it. One of your best.

I really enjoyed the story and it was funny to boot.

Hilarious

Loved the story! Very smart dialog! Love the description of Hanks wife and children Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE. !

The guys in your stories have always held the moral high ground no matter how bad their marriages were. But here, till the day of the reunion planning going on in his house, Dennis had forgiven his wife (she didn't deserve it) and she did take him for granted (treated him like her personal servant). You had him breaking his vows the very next time he meets Steff. That didn't make him as honorable as the heros of your other stories. Even Steff seemed predatory, pouncing on a married man.

As always, the way you spin a tale is amazing, but this one left me disappointed. My only 3* rating for you so far. Would love to read about Ray though, he deserves a tale of his own. He was hilarious.

Laughed my ass off. Thanks

Wherein those with positive, gentle Karma get theirs, and those with negative, ugly Karma do likewise. As the saying goes, life is what happens while you're making other plans....

Here's wishing Dennis and Steff and their soon-to-be-crazy houseful of kiddies all the love and joy they so richly deserve! ;-)

Thanks for the attempt at humor, but its pretty dark. Screwing over the mentally disabled is not funny. Still, thanks for the effort.

Hillarous story. I literally was laughing out loud a few times.

However, Dennis could be one of two things. Either he is such a superficial, shallow moron that would marry Belinda because she was beautiful and had big tits back in the day even though she was supposedly mean to everyone, or he was an asshole that fucked over his wife of ten years so he can save some money while leaving her destitute.

Remember he thought she fucked Eric because she was drunk, so he didn't have that as a reason to fuck her over. Before Stephanie got in the picture he still loved Belinda, with all her issues and still catered to her. All of a sudden this other woman comes into the picture and he falls in love with her and decides to setup and fuck over his wife of ten years. If this was in reverse the woman haters here on Lit would have been all over what a dick he was. I mean yeah divorce Belinda and go with the new love, but fucking leave a woman destitute after ten years of marriage because you got a better woman now? Again, the author portrays Belinda as a total psychopath bitch, but don't forget till Steff (yeah, I can call her that) came in the picture he loved and catered to her.

In my opinion there aren't any likable characters in this one. Funny story though.

when the D,D,s have a new cast of participants. TK U MLJ LV NV

The whole story just seems so rife with sly plotting and cruel manipulation; 'Dumping & Framing Your Shrew Wife 101' seems to be the best way to describe this story; even the slapstick seems off-key...

Like a VERY POORLY written script from SNL!

And that wife is deep in denial.

This was too over the top cliches everywhere. Well done.

At My 25 Class Reunion .. A Couple of my Classmates left for a couple of Hours .. I wonder what they did in 2 hours alone from their Spouses ?

It was funny reading the comments criticising Dennis for dumping Belinda for Stephanie.

1) Belinda had cheated on him!

2) She treated him like a butler

3) She gave him shit about his friends

4) She had let herself go and turned into a porker

5) She made him run around after her bitchy mother-in-law

6) She hadn't given him any children

7) She didn't work and help with the finances

Belinda was basically the shittiest, most worthless wife on the planet. Aside from the fact that she had turned into a fat, bitchy, slut, he never really loved her in the first place. I doubt that any man would stay with an ugly cheating cunt of a wife if a gorgeous younger woman threw herself at him.

Anyone slamming Dennis for dumping that nasty bitch is deluded.

Powersworder pretty much summed it up, so I'll just say another great story from StangStar06.

well you said it all but that does not excuse him to cheat on her, after cheating on her he became like her, "a cheater"

if he is a man enough he should gave her hard time and divorce her even if she did not behave her self

I am sorry but you are trying to cote hi actions with sugar and you are trying to give him an excuse to decorate his cheating

she is a cheater and he is a cheater , they are both fucked up people