All Comments on 'Every Man's Fantasy Ch. 08'

Another fine chapter to a wonderful story. You could almost 'feel' the tension fade away after they removed Belenda. I'm also glad that Kali was true to her word, and stuck by Ezra. And now i wonder if Ezra will stay secret for much longer with a scorned Belenda out to her own devices.

Only time will tell, so i look forward to the next chapter!

I must say, I'm glad I ventured in to the sci-fi part of the website,

I don't frequent here very often. I'm very happy with the character development, plot, and time that has obviously gone into the story, but I find some things lacking. After this many chapters, I found the addition of submissive and dominant woman into the story were refreshing in terms of the sexual front, but I feel like Ezra is just going through the same motions regardless of the woman. I find that the sex scenes have become repetitive, with an obvious bias towards squirting, morning blow jobs, etc. now while this is great for a quick way to get off, I think a story that has evolved like it has (fantastically), should also have an equally interesting sex life. Some new material, perhaps something that the woman might teach Ezra as opposed to him being the omnipotent sex god for woman. I'd give this series a solid 4/5. The story is one of the best I've read, but it could be more original with the sex.

But hey, I'm just one person with an opinion: regardless of whether you take it to heart, I'll keep reading any follow up chapters! So keep them coming, and I'll keep cumming back for more! ;)

I am really enjoying your story. Please keep writing!

My only regret is that Ezra felt that he needed to lie.

Saying that he would think on it was sufficient :/

Jason

I am late to this party, only having found this story a few days ago, but have enjoyed it tremendously, and am very impressed (and pleasantly surprised) that it wasn't the "Earthman fucks a different alien girl every other paragraph" story that the premise might easily have produced under another writer.

I've also seen few - if any - typos, spelling errors, grammar issues and the like, which is refreshing.

The only (minor) problem I've had with the story is one which happens a number of times, in various chapters:

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd guess that either the author or the author's parents were raised in the Midwest, because the (minor) problem of which I speak is the use of the Midwesternisms "come with" and "go with" (as in, "I'm going out to lunch, you want to come with?".

Midwesterners use this particular turn of phrase so much, many of them don't even realize that it sounds...odd to those of us not raised with it, and who would would say it differently (such as "I'm going out to lunch, you want to come with me?" or "I'm going out to lunch, you want to come?").

I was born and raised on the West Coast, and my parents were from Arkansas, and so I never even HEARD the truncated "come with?" version until I was in college and met a woman who used it ALL THE TIME, whereupon the rest of the group would give her good-natured guff about it. ("Come with WHO?! Finish the sentence!!")

So I find it kind of jarring to read this phrase - multiple times - in a Story taking place on another planet, a couple of centuries from now. Sort of like if Yoda had said to Luke Skywalker "There is no Try, y'all!".

I don't recall seeing it used within dialogue in the story (which would have been even MORE jarring), just within the narration. But even there, it pulled me "out of the story" and made me think about the writer, which is NOT a good thing.

Off my soapbox,

-Rei

Hi Rei,

Thanks for your comments and encouragement.

I didn't know that 'come with' instead of 'come with me' is Midwestern. It's a British idiom and I apologise for it. I had no idea it had a jarring effect on American ears.

I'm very interested in linguistics, so if you have any other comments, however nitpicking, please feel free to publish them.

I'm glad you're enjoying my story. I hope you keep reading and commenting.

Regards,

Erinaceous.

Erinaceous:

The origin of "come with?" is almost certainly pre-USA, but the only region of America where it seems to have taken root and thrived is in Midwestern America.

Here's a web page which discusses it:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/ct-tribu-words-work-midwest-20101208-story.html

I am surprised to hear that it is common in Britain, because I don't recall hearing it used in any of the countless British TV shows and films that I've watched over the years, nor do I recall hearing it spoken in my two (admittedly, brief) visits to the UK.

(I believe you, I'm just surprised).

Onward to the final chapters!

I really like the concept of this story, maybe it's because I'm a sucker for "harem-esque" stuff just because of the fact it has the potential for very interesting storylines. Unfortunately I was worried in the beginning that it would end up being over-ridden with fan service rather than anything that resembles something interesting but I'm happy to say that I never got that feeling and enjoy reading this immensely. Great stuff!

Who will sit on Ezra's Iron throne. Their are many who will take a seat, but who will be able to keep her place. This is certainly a Man's story are there any women wo like this story, or want to ride the iron throne.

So will Belena seek the help of the herders or the cloners. We should of kept a better eye on her to determine where she might go.

Sorry but I love that the women all enthralled by Ezra and his ability.

This is certainly a Man's story are any women reading this, or would any even like it.

Do you want to play the game

Sorry I G 0 T wordie