All Comments on 'Evil Bitch Ch. 16'

LOVED IT !!!!!!! TY for finding the time to bring us this next installment. I need to find or try to make up a chart to remind me of all players , I still cant place Vana,

You just keep hitting it out of the park, ty for another chapter

Your character changed the time line; so is that just for this Narrative universe or did you just retcon (Retroactive continuity) the Iron Rain world too? I love these, keep them coming Please.

I really enjoy your writings but this particular saga. Well, it seems that you have completely lost any cohesion in the story. Adding new characters left and right is one thing but events all seem to be jumbled together with many parts never explained. It seems that with Iron Rain you took the time to plan out your narrative and followed it to it's conclusion but for this tale not so much. I like the lovecraftian themes in combination with the science. The sex is good but I think you have become too concerned with other user's comments about have let that ruin the pacing. The sex just comes off as contrived now. Plan it, then write it. I know you can capture my imaginations again.

you can't end this here. what happens next? i have to know how this ends with a real ending instead of a cliffhanger.

What a lot of rubbish

I have enjoyed this saga, though often wondered where it was going.

My one piece of advice would be to find a proof reader to pick up on grammatical errors.

Just to tell you i love what you wrote and would like to read the next set you have a great talent in your writing.

Thank You,

Shadow

Did you finally run out of hair brained avenues to go down?

You start out as standard brother/sister blackmail incest. OK, not badly done either

Then the neighbor and her daughter, OK, good enough

Then Mom and all the ladies at her party. again, not badly done

Then you tie into another of your series Oooooo-Kay

Then you just go off everywhere

An 21 year old saw the lights of Paris before the war? (WWII I assume?), and was an agent in Berlin in the Cold War?? The same 21 year old was old, intimate friends with Steven Hawking?

I've said before in comments on other chapters

Dude, you need an editor in the worst way. Not just an proof reader, and *EDITOR*

You don't know the difference between their and there, wether(?) and whether, don't know when to use she/her or I/me You forget who is doing what to whom.You mix up tenses in the same paragraph (and again, for those who yammer about "Grammar Nazis", when YOU know the difference, any of the above completely halt the flow of the story when you stop to think to yourself "he did it again, didn't he, the dumb shit?")

After the ambushes, he has three Shuriken in his chest, but Miranda (?) takes out four? And when did she lose her virginity? In one chapter she is waiting for that special someone, and he agrees. The next she is just one more of his sluts?? Really??

When did Indigo become Ingrid? And where was she after she disappeared?

I would think that as much work as you have put into all this, you would CARE about such things. If this was a four page stroke story, I could almost see posting with all those errors (almost)

Your sex scenes are becoming boring, for the most part. You could almost have cut and pasted from one spot to the next, changing only the name of the female involved. I say female because they certainly aren't real women The sex has exactly the same progression of the same acts, varying only in where he cums in/on them

You lube up a dildo before using it on your sister's soaking twat in CH 1, now you just dry fuck every asshole you meet?

I know that in an aside in chapter 2 (3?) you said "my story, my fantasy", but really, come on!

Sorry for the long rant, but you could do SO much better, if you only TRIED!!

Still waiting on more. Excellent story. Can't wait for more.

...his two crooked men that presented themselves as federal agents I would appreciate it. I could have missed it, you did mention them once, I noted. I was skimming and confused by all the technology, possible I missed a chapter as he mentioned things in this last chapter that I had no memory of. Good story, amusing at times, sexy at more times, boring at times but still good. Thank you for writing.

Are you going to finish the story?

Great story. Though it could use one or more chapters to put an end to it all. Since the reader still is stock with a lot of questions and wonders of how it all is gonna end.. Otherwise great story dude

did you get bored with these stories or was there not enough interest. i would like to see you finish or at least continue this and a few other stories here. thanks

more,please

You need to continue the this very badly, yes?

You Like your story

What happened to the rest of this story? I enjoy this series the most of your Numenor setting. Ignore the nay-sayers, and keep writing what you like. To be honest, I have tendency to skim the sex scenes to get back to the rest of the story lol. Love the tech, and would love to see more of it. I remember reading the later scenes you used to have posted. I recall they were rather disjointed and rushed like you had become discouraged by the critics. Please either re-post them, or rewrite them to more fluidly finish the story!

I would like some continuity issues cleared up. What happened the the monocle and cigarette holder (and the unnamed third item), and who sent them? With the time travel accident he could have sent them to himself, but that was never cleared up. What happened to the girl trapped in the singing stones? She just disappeared. Same with Viktoria, she helped free that girl and is never mentioned again. Louisa losing her virginity and Mary being put in her place. What creature the J'Nai blades were made from. Lots of loose threads to tie up (and who cares about a typo where the number of blades in his chest changes from 3 to 4? The buttons are right next to each other, get the fuck over it. A better question is how did the blade pierce his star crystal symbiotic armor robes?).

To those who weren't paying attention, the two ambushes happened right after he got his robes and staff of office, but it was covered as a flashback in the next two chapters. Shortly after that there was an accident with Charlie's time dilation device that sent Jon back at least 5,000 years (and what happened to Charlie?), and he had all kinds of adventures that are only alluded to in passing (giving cold fusion to the ancient Egyptians, burying magical artifacts, losing his staff, getting all scarred up in countless battles, bartending during WW2, becoming a cold war spy in east Germany, becoming bosom buddies with Stephen Hawking, secretly building cold fusion power plants all over the U.S. and Europe to be unveiled at the right time, creating a stable wormhole to facilitate human colonization of a distant star system). It's all there if you're paying attention.

Please do finish this off - really enjoyed this whole series so far...

Please continue if this was a book it would most definitely sale and rank amongst top sci-fi author's

Apparently Evil Bitch, the alternate history Iron Rain where Petra doesn't get assassinated, and that other story about the twins separated at birth who are raised as next door neighbors best friends and lovers before they discover their connection are all combined into the story called Iron Bitch. I would like to see an alternate ending for Click added too where the main character doesn't turn into a Cthulu-esq monster, and his mother doesn't go insane. (Spoiler alert, I guess)

Please, Continue as wyldnloose69 said the their comments, if this was a book or series of books I would purchase the lot.. the best read I have had for a long time!

Many thanks

Looks like there could be some type of cross over with lost and forgotten.

You've written another incredible story can't wait for the next chapter

I have been reading your stories for years, starting with iron rain. Only in the last few did I realize you had so many and so many connected. I have been reading them all. I enjoy the erotica, but the story I enjoy more. Do you have a patreon? Do you publish anything? I would love to buy and read the whole story line. I have read so much out of order.

I have read this countless times and still love the story for the story not just the erotic stuff keep up the great work

I'm guessing this story isn't going to be completed since it's been on here so long. That's a shame. Great writing

Definitely needs to be finished great story

Please continue!

If only that was reality no religion = no wars no oil = no wars if only it was reality.

Remarkable story. You have made me a fan of erotic scifi. The multiple main characters were well developed, overall. The intertwining of subplots and plot was well constructed. Would enjoy for this series to continue. 5 star rating.

Spell binding story. Was captured by how you brought your character to life with a fantastic and imaginative use of the English language. I hope many others get to read and enjoy it as I have. I have to admit I have also liked your other stores also Lost Boy. Thanks for this magnificent writing!

Great series!! I just finished reading every chapter! Waited until now to comment. Eager for more to be written. I'm not sure how long since chapter 16 was written but ready for MORE!!

5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐!!!

I should’ve stopped reading after chapter four , I wish I did now. I Suggest if your going to added all this sci fi shit into your stories you forewarn your readers beforehand. Ten percent incest ninety percent shit. ⭐️⭐️

Humans really suck as a whole, but there are some great ones. I love this series and all the related series. Excellent writing, characters and story lines.

Your stories have such a broad array of very interesting characters, you could write a novel for each of them and still not finish in 1 lifetime.

Need more to this one please

A truly wonderfully crafted story. You have left many craving more. You’ve created your characters so effectively, it is difficult to let them go. Looking back, the journey from start to finish was not easy to foresee. The deviation certainly left me unable to see what was coming next. Some scenes glossed over events where detail should have been added for clarity. You only hinted at how long Jon had been away, thereby blurring the solidity required in this particular instance.

The sex was fun, but the story is what captured my interest. Well done.