All Comments on 'Evolution'

moved on and up, from a whore to a stripper

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you

She was never going to come back. At the point where she had given the hubby the right to fuck someone, she had no right to say NO to Lee. It wasn't Patty place to choose who the hubby slept with.

It also didn't look like she wanted to re-seal pandora's box. Her loss. Thank You.

Patty, Sissy, Lee, Bobby....the names are juvenile. The plot is infantile and believe it or not, strippers rarely take their clients home. Why? They don't mix business and pleasure and the guys that go to strippers are only business, unless they are whores to boot and that isn't always the case.

I'd like to hear Chuck's version of events & how the infamous, ever-recurring Peppermint Patty went rogue on him .

By the way where is Sara now ? Is she single ? She sounded like the least culpable of the five stooges but goodhearted & pretty cute. Thanks to author for another low-key, lo-jinks recounted in self-deprecating & droll manner.

leave an old whore for a younger more faithful model. Its the way of the world, always trade up, never keep trash.

Thanks!

Still would have liked a bit of an Epilogue, even a short second chapter. How is Sarah handling things - no pun intended? You're right - was Chuck and Patty at it before the night he confronted them?

Anyway - good story as is...Thanks!!!

It is amazing what happens when people do not talk to each other, though sometimes it only makes it worse, especially after the fact. With respect to going home with him, remember this was 1970`s and even Patty's behaviour would have been considered par for the course while the protagonist was uptight in the view of many!

how can someone thnk this is a 5 star story?

Good story.

Could use an epilog.....it sounds like patty and chuck were already screwing each other and sara either was in on it or at the least was into swinging...as far as patty goes she is not an unknown type who cheats on her hubby yet gets pissed if he does the same thing.My bet if this was rl was when chuck stayed before he and patty had dobe it.Ironically lee,the stripper,turned out to be the truer woman.It is true danny had a role in all this but in the end patty cast the die..

The barkeep and Sweetie2 are portrayed as OK people. Sweetie2 pegs Hubby in her first response...asshole! Given the central role of alcohol in Hubby's problem-solving* repetoire, 'drunk asshole' might've been more specific!

*and problem-generating, as well!

Hubby MAY have had definable reasons for many of his questionable acts, but I could not discern what they were, so it ended up as ' for some reason, that made me unhappy, so I reacted hard!'

I empathized with the last sentence of 'The Evolution' - the Rhett Butler quote!

People fascinate me, the way they are, the things they do, the things they claim they would never do (but many think about.) And some fib about, even anonymously.

One anon suggests I used trite names, yet every one mentioned is a very real person and I used the real names, which would piss Patty off she ever found out. Even now, about 40 years later. Patty was different, I loved her and lost her, no way could we live together. Lots of us guys know a woman like that, yanks our chains but so hard the chain breaks? I still think about her almost daily, even now that she is almost 60 and around 250 pounds. (Yea, I saw her on Facebook, that was a kick. Sent her a message and told her to lay off the Cheetos, got a nasty email back...lol)

Like I said, I loved her. She just didn't love me.

There was even a very real woman named Lee, I never married her but I met her EXACTLY the way I wrote that, and yea, took her home for awhile. Showgirl yes, she needed money and that was an easy way to get it. And yes, I made her quit, kind of a jealous fit on my part.

Pasties and G-string on stage was one thing, stark naked quite another in those earlier days of my life. I got over that as I became older, nowadays I would probably get a kick out of watching.

Then 30 years married to a fine woman calmed me down, when she passed I had some bad times. Part of life there, now I am married to a lady Doctor and life is mayhem with that female. I almost don't believe what she does sometimes.

Me? I will be 70 in another month, I have lots of memories. Thanks to those who enjoy and comment, sorry to those of you who don't see what fits YOUR fantasy.

MGM

As someone who has a female friend who dances and sings in a strip club, (a No touch or you are dead type of club) I can understand falling for such a woman. As for Patty? good riddence to bad trash. Yes the hsuband was at fault to start with.. but later? that was all her and what she wanted. so the writer has reached 70 or will soon. You would think he would have grown up by now, it doesn't look like he is even close to growing up.

Thanks for sharing.

The story is well written and the characters were believable.

Thanks for the good read.

MGM,

very nice story.But what happened with Sara and Chuck?Obvious, the friendship was gone, but...he married Patty?

Danny is a weird guy. He was lucky in the end though.

it still makes me feel sad, and pessimistic.

Nobody in this story really rates as 'one of the good guys'. The protagonist found himself in the situation because of one reason... He caused it.

He let it start within his comfort zone (even if alcohol was involved), and as soon as the genie is out of the bottle you can't put the cork back in. It only fell apart when all the other parties decided their comfort zone was way larger than his.

In a way, he gave Patty a 'free pass' to play with strange cock, and she liked it, obviously having had a lot of experience and already a taste for it, but not knowing where the boundaries were within her marriage.

As soon as she found a new toy that she really wanted to try, say goodnight, it's all over.

But I will say that I think Patty, with her history and obvious drives, would have looked outside at some point down the track anyway. So the sooner you find out the lay of the land, the better off you are.

However, he asked for this shit to drop on his head in this story, I have no sympathy for him at all.

What happened Duna? I enjoy your posts but two words? What happened to two or three posts a story. Feeling under the weather? As to the story which seems to be autobiographical, I liked it. *****

This could have been a good story, but there were several problems. First, you neglected to mention that Danny and Patty got married. You talk about them dating, and it is semi-plausible, perhaps, that a guy would be okay with a girlfriend that he didn't care much about jerking off his friends. But no way would someone want his wife doing that, especially if he was sufficiently posessive and jealous to walk out later in the story, when he finds her with Chuck. But then suddenly, late in the story, we are informed that she is his wife.

The primary problem with this story, however, was that you threw away the dialog between Danny and Patty. Why would she just assume he would be okay with a swap without talking to him first? Danny should have confronted him about whether she had already been with Chuck. Why was Sara suddenly okay with everything, even though she had not yet been with Danny? Had Patty, Sara, and Chuck already done a three-way? You just threw it away with:

"Patty and I had tried to talk, each time it ended with accusations, a big fight. Yea, partly my own fault, but I didn't actually fuck anybody and she did! By then I also had my suspicions that Patty and Chuck had done more than just the one time, things had looked too familiar that crazy night."

THOSE conversations would have been the interesting part of this story. And later, when Patty comes to his place with Sara, I would have liked to hear what they intended to say or do. Instead, they walk in on Danny with another woman, which meant Danny had lost the moral high ground, and the potential confrontation, begging, apologising, explaining, the two women offering Danny a three-way, whatever they intended to do, are lost to:

"The bedroom door swung open, I looked up. There stood Patty, Sara right behind her looking over her shoulder. Patty turned and walked out, pushing Sara back as she did. "Man, you are a fuckup, aren't you?" Sara said, then she left too."

What a disappointment. The character Lee was not interesting, only served to fuck up the story, and should have been omitted. If you just wanted a vehicle through which Danny could tell his story, you could have just had him tell it to some stranger (a man) in the bar.

it is about losers. Losers defined by people who repeatedly make bad choices for themselves. Other commenters have already stated what should have and have not happened. Patty, Danny, Lee are modern day dudos destined to be extinct due to their stupid acts. You are a good author so this story is a "throwaway" piece compared to your other stories. Did Danny get drunk because of his failed marriage or the fact that he lost those fantastic handjobs?

when you get rid of one cheating pussy and feel bad about it - all the bad goes away when you get a new pussy all of your own.

Guess it's the type of characters and cultures you know and write about.

The story lines have some good elements, but tend to wander afield, generally dissing women in one way or another.

some like the old-fashioned 1 with 1. TK U MLJ LV NV

...and anyone who doesn't realize that hasn't had the fortune of finding out the hard way (or knowing someone who found out the hardway).

As for the story, tight characters and plot. I like how you developed the hero's love for his new bride via his discomfort of her showing her self to other men. Much can be said about the possessiveness of a man and how much he truely loves a woman. Natural instincts.

Not Patty and Chuck's first time. The way he was feeling her up in front of her husband and she didn't stop him shows an intimate familiarity with each other. They obviously fucked in the weeks leading up to being caught together. Move out, move on and trade up.

Who had obviously been fucking around long before the night she wanked them off....swinging is always a risk and she blew it when she decide to swap and he got pissed off about that....always one or the other will want to go too far....

And you'll notice that Patty registered no surprise, or made no comment when she supposedly saw it for 'the first time'. Surprise fades with familiarity they say. Just another cheating slut.

one should always trade up. TK U MLJ LV NV

He made a good trade.

Great short story, any chance for Part 2?

Old story here, I got an email about it so I went back and reread it myself. Long since forgotten that I even wrote it, to be honest.

Quite a few want more of this short story, not sure I understand why. The truth is, if I were to tell the truth, there is no more. There was about a year of being together, no different than man and wife except we never did the official part.

Didn't want to, she didn't either.

I do remember Lee, quite a gal. Skinny, scrawny, flat chested, cute in a way. She was fun, she was not what those of us who come here to read could ever call a whore.

She needed someone, so did I. I was at the point of likely becoming a short 3rd page paragraph in the local newspaper, loving Patty and hating her at the same time. Depression is a serious thing, Lee brought me right out of that, right back into the sunshine.

During the year and change we lived together, she never cheated on me and I didn't on her. That I am sure of.

Love? Nope. It wasn't that. It was friends, good friends, at a time when both of us needed each other.

I could have had other women back then, just didn't. Lee didn't like to dance for men, she did it to survive like a lot of young women do in what IS a man's world. She was also very good at it.

I liked her. She liked me. When she told me she got a government loan to go to college, and it was 2000 miles away, I understood.

Then we had some goodbye sex, some of you might understand that, also.

Everything comes to an end.. everything. I was happy for her, sad she was gone.

My wife Debra and I ran into Lee several years ago. Still scrawny, still cute, four BIG kids and driving a very expensive Mercedes, a diamond on her finger that would have taken me a couple of years to pay for. Her husband is a computer guy, invents stuff, makes a pile of money. A good guy, she told me. She did fine, and we filled a hole in each other's lives that needed to be filled.

This IS the rest of the story, all there is. There. I guess I just wrote it.

Thanks,

MGM

Kind of all over the place, not like your normal writing.

I enjoyed this one. Patty took things a little far and couldn't get back.

Start a little sleaze and you end up with a lot of sleaze.

Truly bad. I man that with all my heart.

Patty just happens to show up when he has another girl over. The one time she checks on hubby and brings her friend. Not even close to good writing.

As for making it all even by swapping...how does anyone equate her giving a hand job and swapping as making things even? That would be Sara giving the dip shit a hand job. I havent read many of yours and the ratio of good to bad stories isnt weighing heavily in your favor at this point.

I disagree with iameasel and wonder203.

It isn't a bad story, it's a good story, life happens that way. Just a few happenings and a few incidents that have the potential to change your whole direction... ESPECIALLY when you are young, and being led along the path of life because of inexperience and lack of wisdom. That also explains why it meanders a little bit.

And as for the ex turning up just when he has Lee there? Some women seem to have a sixth sense.

They don't need to be geniuses, it's instinct. They seem to know what's going on, or turn up just in time to discover what they need to know.

Just like my wife.