All Comments on 'Eye in the Sky'

I bought this book on Amazon! Oh, my God! I've read it like five times! I love Sawyer. I'll read it again here. Thanks for writing it. You're one of my favorite authors. I have all your books on my kindle. I'm really glad you posted it here so everyone here can read it.

It's always a real pleasure to read your stories. Very easily worth 5 stars.

Take the time to read this romance/adventure/sci-fi delight. You'll be glad you did. Imagine a writer with a really good imagination along with a great command of grammar, punctuation, and spelling. She even knows what split infinitives are. This is an excellent read! 5 stars!

The only glitch was the NSA. They don't have people on the street. They gather information to give to the agencies that are on the street.

Yes Virginia, there is a deep state.

Quite possibly the best writing I've ever seen on a free site. I will now try to find and purchase this book and all your other books. Thanks Randi.

I enjoyed every word. I agree with the other poster about the NSA, but the agency portrayed in this book would do anything it wanted to, I think. Rogue agencies don't stick to the rules. We've seen that often enough. Great, great story.

Every story you write is a love story. It can be in any category, and you're tremendously versatile, but you always write a love story. That's what I like best about your stories. It's the characters. Thanks for all the emotion you pour into every story.

I assume there's another book coming? If it's as good as this one, I'll give it a five, too.

Great to see a new one from you Randi! This one has it all...suspenseful, mysterious, drama, good vs. evil, questions of faith, a comment on what is wrong with government vs. the people, love, you name it! Then..of course...ending with a cliffhanger! My hat's off to you!!! So when do we find out what happens next?

Really enjoyed this story! Sorry that I'm anon but I can't remember my password and the site doesn't seem inclined to send me any help at the moment :(

Would you believe that I come from Birmingham so I'm afraid I have to put you right on 2 points, the train service from London Euston goes to Birmingham New Street not Snow Hill and there is no Birmingham newspaper called the Sentinel, there is the Birmingham Post, and the Birmingham Mail with the Sunday Mercury being the, obviously, Sunday newspaper!

Just picking flies as I did really enjoy the story! Thank you :) - elu69

This is the first book of a four book series. I'll start posting the next one in a month, or so. I have a Western event I'm organizing and it will take up my time until Thanksgiving. If you like Western stories, look for it. Twenty-eight of the most favorited authors in Literotica history will post Western themed stories on Thanksgiving day. After that, book two. Thanks for reading, Randi.

We all do. Thanks

I usually don't read 19 page stories BUT I'm glad that I read this one. Fantastic.

The only problem that I have is the ending. I hope this is going to be continued. I didn't understand your future writing. If the next book is going to be a Western, what about the continuation of this story???

This story just kept getting better and better. Thank you for a wonderful and entertaining story ....but please continue this story

Amazing, easy to keep up with and I stuck to it reading it straight through. DAMN

BRAVO!!!!

Sorry, I'll try to be clearer. There is a second book that I will begin to post after Thanksgiving. It is called "Artifact." There is a third book called "Petroglyph." There is a fourth book that is called "Working Title," because I'm still working on it.

The Western event is something different, not connected with these books. It is a themed invitational event, like the Legends events in LW. I have a lot of work to do on the event, which will keep me too busy to start posting the second book in this series until after the Western event is over. The Western event is totally unconnected to this story, except it will take my time and I'll write a Western for the event. I hope that is clearer. If not, email me and I'll try to do a better job explaining. Sorry for the confusion, Randi.

One of the best stories I've read in years. Can't wait for the sequel.

I've noticed that you edit a lot of authors and their works are improved because of you. Thanks.

bill

This is easily the best story posted on this site this year. This is a writer at the pinnacle of the craft. The skill on display here is something i expect to pay for, and evidently, many do. You are a professional quality writer.

I would not know how, or why, anyone would give this story less than a five. Action, imagination, romance, sex, in an understated, every erotic way, pace, editing, it's all here in spades. I would highly recommend that anyone read this story. You won't be disappointed. RPL

Your best yet and looking forward to the next parts. What an amazing journey with truly engaging characters. Your belief in humanity sings through. Thank you for this wonderful read.

Shite! Red's in town!!! Hopefully, Sawyer can get help him...just promise not to leave us hangin', Randi!

And yes, I cried when dad passed. You weave a fabulous tale, my dear.

SC8

As always, you tell a compelling tale. I read this elsewhere, but it's just as good the second time around. Thanks for posting it here. You, are amazing, girl.

I liked the story, however it was what we call in The Netherlands a real "smartlap"!! (Look it up..)

I also have this book from Amazon, it is every bit as good as everyone is saying.

Looking forward to the rest of the series.

This is a very scary version of how big government works!

The only thing that keeps me from handing her the crown is the small sample size. This is the fifth story I've read (all she has posted) and I plan to read every one again in about six months. This may be the best of the five. Five stars. Anything less is unthinkable

The story was outstanding. You realize there are probably very few of your readers that understand the legend that is the GSX.

I'm a Buick guy myself, 68 gs400 convertible. One of 351 made with the factory four speed.

I look forward to the rest of the story.

blackrandl1958 pulled most of her stories off of Lit a while back, they can still be found on storiesonline.net.

Six stars is not enough.

Fun story from start to finish. Sure glad this was posted in “Novels and Novellas” because if it landed in “Sci-Fi & Fantasy” I might have skipped it. I generally prefer romances and this could have just as easily gone in that category as well. You obviously are a very talented author so I guess it’s the romance in your stories that draws me to them. I see you plan to pick-up where you left off. My wife will appreciate the release delay –she thinks our 3 car garage should have more than one walking path! I’m still looking forward to Thanksgiving.

I was sorry to read that you “pulled most of her stories off of Lit a while back, they can still be found on storiesonline.net.”. I was able to join that site so I’ll look for the rest of your stories over there. On that note, I contacted you because after you organized the two Legends events I thought you were trying to prop this site up. I appreciate your help trying to get me registered on Literotica but I still haven’t heard back from Manu (the site administrator).

FYI, I read a captivating story on SoL by Jay Cantrell titled “Runaway Train”. Keep up the good work and thanks for all you do.

Old_Crow

As usual another remarkable story from your good self.Thoroughly enjoyed this offering.Many thanks to you.

I purchased this on Amazon because I promised this author I would purchase her first published work !

She really is a treasure that we all get to enjoy . I am also very proud to call her a friend.

Thanks for sharing this with us !

5 *'s

Great story from one of the real heavyweights around. Thanks.

I just wanted to tell you on an excellent story. Many thanks to you.

This story is transcendental , its so descriptive of the world we dont want to live in ,and we dont want to help it becoming a reality , great story , couldnt stop reading until the end

Congratulations

Don’t get to political please some of us just want a sweet story the new bad guy will be fun but please don’t make him into a super villain I’m so sick of them let the good guys win. Make the story be about them.

I loved this story as a whole. You made the characters so real. I love them so much it scares me. After all they aren’t real.

Hi Randi. I just do not have the words to praise this work to the extent it should have. I found that like any good novel once you pick it up you just can't put it down.

Can you answer me this one question from an avid fan from over the pond. Are you planning on a follow up with her brother? I know if you do it will be just as good as this is.

My only complaint is that you do not write enough as I love all you write.

I would also like to thank you for ensuring that we have had the chance to read stories from other people that you got involved through "Legends Day".

If I could give more that 5* I would, so please accept a 5+ off me.

Thank you. Iceman

Her age discrepancies are not a big deal, just something that trips you up and breaks the story flow. Wondered if she was publishing stories after pulled from Lit. Smart decision.

Hi Randi, a wonderful story and how wonderful if we truly had an eye in the sky. I was 69 years old just a few days ago and am fortunate that my career as a fireman guided me more towards helping people rather than harming them. Unfortunately throughout my life I have been confounded by the attitude of so many people that power and position are more important than love and compassion. It seems crazy that in most western countries you have to be rich to be a politician we jokingly call them public servants but in most cases no matter what their political persuasion they only serve themselves or people like themselves. This story highlights this fact, I just wish it would make a difference. Thank you for a great read, I look forward to many more.

page turner. Keep'em coming.

Loved the story ... can't wait for the sequel.

I could nitpick several things, but one that jumped out at me was Lawson (sometimes called Lanston, but I nitpick) waiting to commit to USC to make sure he got the best deal possible. That is wrong on two counts. One, it violates NCAA rules to offer extra incentives, and two, it is out of character for Lawson. He is a billionaire's kid who child easily pay for his own school. He seems like the type who would rather walk on and let someone else who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford college take the scholarship.

If you need another advance reader for your next story, I'd love to offer my feedback.

Absolute loved this story. From the first paragraph until the last I was wrapped up in the characters. Found it this rainy afternoon and other than stopping to make dinner I was unable to put it down. And the last paragraph....do I see a sequel coming??

Thank you for sharing this with us.

I had read this before and didn't realize it, I almost stopped after page one because of the length. I kept at it as it was a Friday night and I had all day Saturday. It is very well written, but I know that a good tale will await between the pages. 5*****+++++. When I finished there was a nagging question in my head I just couldn't put a finger on,

I, too, enjoy The Alan Parsons Project. This AM I was almost startled awake when I realized my question. Randl, Did you hear the song and write a story based on the content, OR di you write the story and include the song to make the point of Raleigh's ability to "...read your mind"?

Big fan of your work. Keep it up. I thoroughly enjoy when two of the characters get together for some loving moments you don't go into great detail describing the act, rather you encourage the reader to use their imagination to 'see' it.

As Always, Chrissie

TBC

(P.S. I've amended my last comment about you newest western. You aren't breathing down #1's neck. You are the best xoxo)

LOVED THE STORY!! but need the rest of the story involving Sawyer and Red Haired "Marcus". When are the next chapters of EYE IN THE SKY coming?

Maybe the president should ask Sawyer : "please advise me on what to do about terrorists who want to kill innocent American people "?

Great story, as for the comment below.... How we protect ourselves from serial killers? Those who go on shooting sprees in parks and schools? Unfortunately there are always going to be bad people. Look how many innocent people died under capital punnishment in the US. How many are in jail because a plea bargain is all they afford since they don't have the money to put up a proper defence? One could go on forever.

Needs finished next installment soon?

A terrific story, BlackRandl1958. Its length would have weeded out the wankers, whose attention spans don't run to stories of this length. The fact that it is an adventure/romance story would also put them off.

I noticed at the beginning that to gave credit to a number of people who helped with the editing of this story. I'm afraid they have let you down, as I noted a number of uncorrected typos and errors and omissions throughout the story. As writer of longish stories myself, I know how easy such errors can be to overlook -- I am doing a fourth edit on one of my own novel-length stories and I'm still finding errors. Let's hope they will do better when helping you with the sequel.

Keep up the good work. You have an excellent writing style, which I believe will only improve over time.

Five stars for sure, but we still disagree on government. Anarchy only creates a vacuum. Without some form of government, you will end up with strongmen or warlords. This is proven fact, as history has shown us. On the flip side, government should not be tyrannical like we have become. A perfect situation would be a government that merely focused on defense from attacks and trade with other countries, allowing citizens the most self determination and freedom possible without devolving into anarchy.

As a fictional story, I'm so impressed with the continuity, the imagination, and the quality of the writing. (Actually, that is true about most of your writings.) But this one has a major flaw: preachiness. The last 3 or so chapters became excessively preachy to the point that it bothered me. Given your superb editing skills, acknowledged by many who were indebted to you, that flaw surprised me. Let's see what happens in the second part between the siblings.

One other comment to other commentators. Anarchy as a political philosophy is the most democratic of any. Don't mix anarchy as chaos with Anarchy as political.

Again a well written story. You make it easy to connect with the characters and i really hope for the second part of this to be available.

Very entertaining. Fun story. Unrealistic "hold hands and sing kum by yah" political drivel but it is fiction so write how you wish the world to be not how it actually is.

If you ever re-edit this excellent story, please consider fixing the consistent age discrepancy.

Thank you.

So offering helpful criticism may have no value, BUT having Lawson kill the DHS agent in Albequrqe (sp?) was imho way out of character. Then later he has a conversation with Sawyer where it is agreed that he is not a killer. The killing didnt fit.

They struggled with "wiping" Darby/Darcy(?), the ID guru. This struggle helped build sawyer and Mike's characters. But rather than wipe, why not insert the idea that it was a blck man that got the documents, not an attrative

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7920010/cia-mkultra-mind-control-drugs-hypnosis-electric-documents/

Just do not know what to think regarding your imagination and reality. This News story posted December 7, 2018 about CIA mind control experiments suggests you might have had some insider knowledge to spur your story.

5 Stars for your writing, 15 Stars for your insights behind this story.

I couldn't stop reading "Eye in the Sky" and I needed to be finishing my own novella and several stories that are in the works. I wanted to work on my writing hobby, but your story would not let me go. I have already purchased your book based on the volcano and survival, but I don't dare start reading because I may not write another word until I finish reading your book.

I wish that I had your writing talent and skill, but unfortunately I just do it for a hobby, and I am afraid I started much to late in life to develop the skill necessary to be a great writer. Please keep writing and tell people your 'nom de plume" so they can more easily find you on Amazon.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Woodbgood

Randi, I love all your stories, you are truly one of the most accomplished authors on this site. This one in particular is one of your best efforts. Lots of food for thought in this one and I agree with most of your thinking. I once read a science fiction story many, many years ago that propounded that the leader of their society (on another planet) could only be someone who desired it the job the least or something like that, and then only for a specified period of time, and with many of the ramifications you put forth here about the office of the President. Good thinking! Sadly, not the way it is currently in the US. Kudos aside, you have left us hanging!! What about Sawyer's "brother" with the flaming red hair? What happens there? Good, evil, or what? If his abilities are anywhere close to Sawyer's, and he obviously has some paranormal abilities, why did it take him 3 years to find her and what are his intentions? Please write a sequel, PLEASE!

Randi, you are one of the best writers I have seen with regard to story and character development (and I have been reading for ~60 years). I eagerly await the resolution with Marcus!

Regards, Simon

Just wow...

Wow again. Great imagination, great story! Thank you.

I’m not normally a book reader, but your stories are such, that I couldn’t put it down until I finished. Great story

The concept and characters development are excellent, as usual. Sawyer is a very strong, capable, yet vulnerable young woman.

But what of the brother? Is he sane? Is he there to kill her (or Lawson)? Where’s the rest of the story?

... STILL a great story!

Randi, Please let us know when we can look forward to Marcus' story!

Then you spring Marcus on us. Something tells me that he will be bad news. Please don't leave us hanging.

Excellent story, hope it continues.

Personally I think this is your best story, mainly due to the subject matter. You have a great talent BR, thanks for sharing your world with us:)

You need to finish this! It’s about time to think it through and go. Good luck...🤷🏻‍♂️🙈

Trying to not be an anonymous Gotta find my pw

You could have ended the story except for the for the red-headed kid. Now you do need to end the story except this story was written in 2017. Plenty of time for you have finished. Is it finished in Amazon?

For me the proselytisation:entertainment ratio was off

Please, I want to know what happens with the brother, is he insane? Out to hurt her, what? Please!!!!!!

A very long and involved story. Great attention to technical details.

Thank you for taking the time to do the research to enable you to bring this fabulous story together. Nice ending and leaves us all hanging.

can anyone please tell me names of the books or the name of the author. I desperately want to continue the series and dont see the other titles mentions in the comments either on amazon or in her published works list.

Would have been an outstanding story but for the length and the ending.

No much to say that hasn't already been said. It's long but packed with detail and knowledge, well I think it's knowledge as I don't really know, and it comes together very well indeed.

Was wondering about the red haired boy / brother so is a sequel possible or not. His powers are different apparently??

Anyway definitely 5 stars.

... A good story, but too preachy..

in spite of this it being a great story and what I hope proves to be a lead-in to a great series, I have to question why Sawyer did not simply apply her expanded capability directly to the mind of the “good doctor”. Not withstanding this minor quibble, 5*.

Nothing else to be said.

Hooked

... yes, too preachy, extremely naive dialogue, situations violating the upper limits of suspended disbelief.

I think i might have said this before... But i owe you an apology... I really detested your black women cheaters comment... But segments of this story really highlight your core values... And they are sound... The very parts of your story that your readers found "preachy" are the parts that lead me to admire your values...

As to the story... I Agree with the guy that spoke of details... Your keen observation of the world around you shows in your work... As does your intelligence... The story is very interesting... There are holes but the story is entertaining enough to over look them...

-jaye-

Loved it.

To hell with 5 stars,

I give it 15

Great story, but why would you need a hanger for an airplane. I mean, a hanger is small and to hang clothes. If you want to store a plane, you need a hangar...

Too many typos, unnecessary use of apostrophes to make plurals, and the many "he/she asked?", "he/she exclaimed!", etc., kind of put me off more times that I would liked from the story, but in the end, and really enjoyed it, including the sequel. Hoping for more.

Cheers.

Just. Freaking. Wow!

What a story! That's all I can say.

Another great story. What I don't understand is if Sawyer could get into minds of people and know what they were thinking, why didn't she get into Watt's mind and change him? Regardless, it's just mind blowing what the government could do under the premise of national security.

Great story! Very interesting and enjoyable read. Thanks

hello Randi,

I am currently reading.

For the 2 sentences in French on page 10, allow me to correct you.

one says :

- Qu'est ce que tu fais?

- je m'ennuie.

in colloquial or young language:

- Tu fais quoi?

- Je me fais chier. Or. Je m'emmerde.

Ok, I go back to my reading.

wow !!

wonderful story.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

I'm being super picky but as a UK train fan while I was impressed with the knowledge that Birmingham trains go from Euston those trains go to New Street, the trains to snow hill go from Marylebone

This is one of the best stories I’ve ever had the privilege to read. I even love the cliffhanger; after his escape, I was in anticipation of when he’d reappear. Brilliant writing, story development and character maturation. Well Done! Finn

Hi Randi:

If I were a schizophrenic (two personalities), could each one of us give you a 5 for a total of ten?

Outstanding plot and linking of the various components of the story. I most definitely did NOT expect the last couple of lines of the story. Excellent selection of subject for a story.

This story also pulls on your emotions: laughing, crying, political statements, etc. I'd like to see those characters in a follow up story. Since this is six part series, will my hope be honored in the next parts?

BJ

I found this story fascinating, but there was just too much politicizing in it and too much anti-American sentiment - which seemed more to be the point of the story than the tale of Sawyer. Several glaring errors in government structure, but overall not bad.

Holy crap! Excellent!

Please keep the story going. Second segment as good as the first. It’s common and so frustrating when stories just stop

OMGosh this is hands down 1 of the best stories i have read. Exciting in parts had me in tears in parts n screaming ander in parts. Job very well done thank u for n extremely great effort

What are the names of your novels? Author name? Please

The story premise is great, but the story itself is a little (lot) preachy. Also, much of the detail could be cut and still keep the integrity of the tale.

Great story, probably too close the truth for some.

WOW what a story A little bit far fetched in some places but i enjoyed every page of it One of your best works (jaybee186)

Judging by the very first page I’ve read, this promises to be a very wholesome and engaging love-story: an all-American dude – with the help of his all-American “Pops” – saves a mysterious young woman in trouble. My only concern is whether her breast-size will be at least C-cup since any lesser size is un-American, it seems....

Vittorio Vittorossi

I normally stay away from stories that are so long, but decided to give this 1 a chance. I'm glad i did. An excellent tale. Well written and paced. I'm now certain that I'll read the rest of it, even if it takes weeks. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW

Well, I enjoyed this look inside an American's psyche.

Muscle cars - sure, Trans Ams and the like are quick, and can be made quicker, but on this side of the damp patch we need cars that will go round corners - and quick cars need to go round corners quickly.

5* thanks for sharing.

Dixon (UK)

Excellent and very long start !

Looking forward to more.

Rapier