by YKN4949
This was a fun one! You're definitely one of the most creative authors on Lit - you put interesting characters in crazy situations and never hold back, I love it!
"Large, D-cup breasts (that I'd gotten her when she turned 18)"
What store did you get them at?
:-))
This is definitely one of the most creative stories on here. You must continue this!!
That would make it like thousands of other stories.
As it is, you have a rare thing in erotica, a new twist to an incest tale.
Obviously, the mother would make even more money if she can film the actual knocking up of the daughters by their brother.
Then in the next chapter the mom would not be able to refuse the offer of filming her son putting a baby in her belly!
Do not knock them up, I'd suggest just letting them run this course for a while. Just good fucking.
But PLEASE give the kids some redeeming features... at the moment they're both treated and appear to act like sluggish automatons. Almost to the point where they're just not likeable. The mother is the villain here, which makes this a cool and original story, but the kids need to win. Go on, do it.
Do you plan to make a sequel later? Thats one of the most original incest plots I have read. And mother acting even more like villain would be very interesting to see :)
Liked the entire story line BUT there were times when I got board w all the script about body positions. It was akin to reading all scripting lines in a screenplay or a novel attempting to over fill for description of the mundane. 4.5 pages could be condensed to 3.5 easily w a bit more precise editing.
Did rate it 5 stars.
Easily can be elaborated into 2 or 3 more chapters if you wanted. You certainly have given yourself lots of potential material to play it out.
I liked your story a lot. Should think about doing a second chapter. 5
I was thinking, if you extended the story, that perhaps further developments with the family could be done from the kids' perspective. Told in such a way that the reader understood that the kids were actually smarter than the mother realized, but due to her being so focused on controlling the older girl's life, none of them had been able to develop many job skills or social skills or intellectual skills, other than to embrace an enjoyable opportunity when it presented itself.
I enjoyed how the older girl really got into it, and knew what to do to create the right effect. I thought fleshing that out, so to speak, could be fun.
Peace!
The cool irony that mom employed in summing up the shortcomings of her progeny in terms of worldly savvy contrasted very well with heated carnal gymnastics.
Ergo the obvious score
Full marks *****
I can see that someone beat me to the punch. This is Kardashian shit disguised with a different last name. Are you sure the author of this shit isn't Kris Jenner?
Encore une belle histoire. Merci.
La participation de la mère ? Pour la suite de l'histoire.
well, you call it a story, i call it an outline that needs to be fleshed out..a lot! why isn't mom on that bed as part of the action?
Nice. Liked it...a lot. Could've been a screenplay for an episode of the 'other' famous for nothing family in LA, go figure...they're into black guys too. You know who I'm talking about!😏