All Comments on 'Fantasy Becomes Reality'

He was cuckolded by his Dad the moment he let her back in the house after her first date whether she had sex or not. Sometimes perceptions matter.

Lacked drama. I would work on adding drama without the big buttons. People right loving wives stories because there an easy a category. Cheating, cuckhold, strange sex and betrayel these are easy things to get a rise out of someone with like a car accident on the freeway. The big buttons if you will.

Now the small buttons are the everyday stuff work on righting that and infusing it with the same fire that you do the big buttons. Work on getting people to pay attention when your now using easy mode.

Good Luck

With maintaining a point of view? You used every known one, and probably invented some, in less than 3 pages. On top of it, you mix words, your grammar is basic at best and usually wrong... For someone who has written that many stories, the lack of improvement is remarkable.

On the other hand, the argument in itself is pretty decent, and plausible.

Spelling mistakes, shifts from third person to first... did you even bother proofing this? His wife was a beach? Seriously?

Aside from that, the story was... meh.

She games her husband on the advice of her mother and when that doesn't work she seeks out her father-in-law who tells her to become that fantasy girl again.

And how does she do that?

She starts going out on dates (albeit with the father-in-law) to bring the husband back into line.

One game replaces another game. What a swell marriage.

She become his fantasy girl again by pretending (?) to date some mysterious lover? That's his fantasy girl?

A lazily written and poorly thought out story from start to finish worthy of a one and no more.

It seems that everyone involved wanted everything their way or the highway. It almost destroyed a marriage that probably shouldn't have happened anyway. The wife was a gold-digger looking to marry money without love and he thought he saw the perfect woman. Although everything turned out right in the end one person should have had to pay for her actions, the wife's cunt mother. Oh well, next time.

A good story...For me not about BTB, but about lack of communication, and bad advise from a woman (her mother) that never understood love and stayed all her life a selfish bitch...3*

Poor character development. Normally I don't like the "how we met" crap but in this case she just comes off as a party girl/slut who was looking for security. I guess she was.

Also, her reaction to getting her husband back made no sense to me.

Also, what sort of father would do this kind of shit to his son?

3 stars is the best I can give you and that's being generous.

Really, the typos and missed words are too much. "My sister and I had doubled in size twice." And Megan thought she was fat!

First she pushes him too far, then to "backtrack" she makes it look like she's going out dates??

this entire story is lame,

I’ve just started reading, but they car-pool to school every morning, he MUST know that she has a boyfriend, why even ASK her to go to the Prom?

“She admitted she's not a virgin and went a little crazy for a while but all that all changed when she started going out with me." – That’s a pretty long “while”, that’s pretty much all of high school and college!

“I told him it was a stupid idea and that I didn't want to trick you into staying," – Oh? What happened to: “If Steve caved, she could back off and still have the upper hand?”

Argh! Please be consistent with the person! Earlier three paragraphs went from 3rd person, to 1st person Megan to 1st person Steve! And here:

“’Nope,’ was the last thing he said for the next hour. That's not to say the bedroom was quiet. Luckily I'd put in a solid core oak door to cut down on the noise.” You go from 3rd person to 1st person in the same paragraph!

Please ignore the negative comments. Thanks for bothering to write a story for us, and posting it. Look forward to the next one.

This is a basically good and interesting story that's been written VERY badly.

One of the first rules of writing fiction is DO NOT CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE MID STREAM. At various times during this story you used no less then THREE completely different first person perspectives AND a third party omnipresent perspective. Frequently this happened in the same paragraph. This is extremely poor in a literary sense. You can do ( and have done previously) much much better then this. Have you stopped using a editor by any chance?

Not a bad story at all but it needs to be proof read and an editor could help.

story:

nonsense. the protagonist is a fucking idiot. he wants her when she is a slut with other men. would made an excellent cuckold.

grammar:

mixed pov and missing quotes.

Where is "Hip and Knee Doc" when you need him. I think he could add a lot, and correct the flow problems and turn it into an excellent story..

First and foremost thanks for the story and all that you have written in the past. And any you write in the future. I feel if these clowns who want to feel they need to be critical about any story it should not be allowed unless you use your log in name. I like stories with a twist. Any thought about writing your own ending to the story revelations ?

Steve and Megan live in the same block, Steves dad owns a mildly successful construction firm. Despite strong work ethic and above average intelligence, Steve attends the local community college and so does Megan.

Do you see why this puzzles me? Community college is where you go when you want to party or can't afford a Ivy League education which, if his fathers business was even somewhat profitable, is what he would have done. The story lacks consistency and the author has artificially contrived a way to force Steve and Megan into close proximity.

What the author has done is forced the plot to follow his end result instead of telling us what happened. It's like suspending the law of gravity because it doesn't fit your story for a moment.

As others have pointed out, the story was lacking in editing, but I easily overlook that. I liked the dynamic of the husband and wife. I dug the sister and father character, too. The wife's strategy to get the husband reengaged again was clever. I've seen similar deviceanused in other LW stories, but not often, which is saying something. Thanks again for putting out a dramatic LW tale.

It's probably going to be a little over the top. It was.

It's probably riddled with grammatical mistakes. It was.

It would probably have tense and person shifts. It did.

It would most likely be fun and entertaining. It was.

It was most likely a five. It was that too.

Thanks Puff,

Jedd Clampett

A stupid story about stupid people. Wife is a deranged lunatic and husband is a spineless wimp. A good solid one.

Great entertainment to have an SP story on a Wednesday morning. Thanks for writing!

......just like I've seen married couples sometimes do.

The tactics were pretty heavy-handed, but the woman was a total bitch.

I think by the way me of the 6th week or so of that crap, I'd have handed her the papers and told her she had 2 hours to vacate and we'd work out the kids once she had a living arrangement.

If I knew she was getting that kind of advice from her mother, I'd have stormed her castle and given her a right good paddling!

What is going on? Lately a lot of good stories in LW fall apart in the last couple of paragraphs. Usually, as with this one, having endings not even slightly supported by the story that came before. This was a solid 4* until this lame, ubsurd wrap up.

What agreement? What boobytrap? Set by what character who seemed like they would ever set such a trap?

The "Sloppy effort" comment nailed most of the writing problems. PICK A POV!

<P>

She ignores him. it pisses him off, so he ignores her. Then she ignores him some more. Frankly, neither of them are worth a damn. What makes her a 10? It sure isn't her personality.

what to believe and what to change. TK U MLJ LV NV

Its great to see a story about no cheating

Heh! My wife is beach, too!

She is a manipulative bitch, and he takes her BACK ? And his asshole father HELPS her deceive him ?

Oh, fuck both of them.

It has come down to this. This is a porn site. Not a professional literary site. Who really cares if the words are all spelled correctly, the POV changes and some things aren't quite logical? Did you understand what happened? Unless you're a complete moron, you got the point of the story. Bad communications between a wife and her husband. She was good looking, a bit of a slut when she was young and now she's gotten a bit overweight and isn't happy. She acts the bitch, loses the weight and pisses off her husband in the process. They solve their problems and get on with life. It was entertaining. Maybe not Slirpuff's best work, but still a good read. So what's the problem with all the commentators? Simple. Nothing is good enough for anyone anymore. Get over yourselves, get a life and get a clue. Thanks for the read.

I have seen the limo pick-up story before. It was fun though.

Saw it coming. Still it was a fun read 😎

Enjoyable story. Not exactly what I was expecting in dealing with a former "in-crowd" slut girl, which made the read more enjoyable. Nice to see her fully maintain her sexual integrity even though awareness of weight gain drove her off the deep end in other respects.

The motherly advice and desire to "control a weak man" kind of came out of nowhere. The issue here was realization of her weight gain, how it was affecting her and how she was dealing with it. But, why not? Motives for actions can fueled by several factors.

Good story. 4 stars.

I would have never allowed the flirting, (if that's what you want to call it) to go as far as it did at the club. As soon as I saw her losing control I'd have told the bouncer I was going over there to get my wife. Then I would have told the guys she was my wife, she's had too much to drink and I was taking her home. College Athletes are usually too worried about scholarships to give someone any trouble.

Once we got home I'm not sure what I would have done but if she had gone out on a date it would be all over!

Thanks!

This story had a decent plot but needed an editor.

Carvohi we are almost finished with Fall 2015. You PROMISED to finish Revelations before Fall started where is it? You don't have time to make innocuous comments let alone read others works.

is reason enough to hate it

Can someone explain how pretending to fuck other men after treating your husband like shit for half a year is going to save the marriage?

The wife decides to penalize then shit diwn on the mariage becuase the hsuabnd is so deeply in love with Her that he looks past her weight gain

Yet that very fact of LOVE triggers a plan where the wife decides to shut down on him and the marriage. THEN once she realizes she had gone too far her solution to save the marriage as proposed by the husband's own father !?!?!???

is to PRETEND to fuck other men?

this may be the most god damn stupidest most vile moronic idiot plot I have ever read

Stop using Spell Checker. So many wrong words that sound like what you wanted, but they weren't the wright werds and they corn fuzed us yur readers.

I like it. It's a lark of a story. A good change because it turned out she really did love him.

All you non constructive critics...get a life.

Like to see you back once in a while!

This was rubbish and I hated it.

Something that could really happen. Good story line and that's something we do not see much of any more. Thanks for sharing this very enjoyable story.

I don't care if I am fat for my husband because I don't care what he thinks about me

But when I see my old friends, suddenly I care that I am fat.

And when my husband says something hurtful (Please note: ONE FUCKING PHRASE, not the RELENTLESS display of disrespect that slut in "The Big Mouth" engages in) he is shut out of her life for, once again MONTHS.

So she gets hot again (NOT for hubby...for herself) ...and denies her husband a peek at being hot.

And so Mrs. Hot Body goes out on DATES after SHE fucking scuttled the marriage.

Um...

Um...

Um...

Why does he love her again?

And if I have to ask that...

a story in this genre that fills in the gaps in your typical BTB story. I do not like BTB story for one simple reason: the wife's behavior is assumed, never explained. The husband is never at fault. They are revenge stories about people in pain, with no psychological depth.

This story is different. I don't know if the author intended it to be this way (considering his other stories), but here's how I see it.

What does the husband contribute to the situation? This is spelled out quite early in the story background. Here's how he describes himself in contrast to a social group with which he has a love/hate relationship.

" I was just your average Joe"

" the "In Crowd" people ... All shallow assholes in my humble opinion."

Except for Megan, significantly. She's his proxy entry into the social world he apparently despises.

"God I sounded pathetic."

" I had no time for any of that bullshit."

"Fuck them all, I'd be successful and then they could kiss my ass."

So, what have we got? A guy who is socially insecure and has a lot of resentment. His defense strategy is to withdraw whenever he is made to feel insecure - fuck them all, is his way of coping.

Sounds familiar? This is the typical scenario in your typical BTB story. The husband runs away, never seeks explanations, the wife is guilty by definition.

The story sort of plays out this way, regarding the husband's behavior. What can be more explicit than the story's title and the advice everyone gives to Steve. He's put Megan on a pedestal, he's living inside a fantasy, not reality. Worse, the 'fantasy' Megan represents precisely what it is that he feels inferior to.

That's a powder keg ready to go off whenever the husband sees his wife act in any way other than what he wants and expects. In reality, this pressure probably contributes to the wife drifting away in the first place.

The rest of this story unfolds as a comedy of errors, of people acting mainly under advisement and not in direct communication with each other. Bottom line: messed up lives of stupid people. There are enough of those around.

Could really have happened. 5 stars

No one cheated, they both learned a lesson about being too stubborn, and stupid, as well. They hopefully will continue to communicate rather than dig into a position so entrenched that there is no way out of it. There is a very important lesson that might get overlooked in this one as well. Never think that involving others and taking advice from them can do more for your marriage than talking to your spouse will.

I really liked this story. However, if the stupid bitch had cheated I would want her burned alive at the stake....using green wood for the fire so it would take a while to slow roast her ass to death.

LOVED IT. NO CHEATING ON ANYBODY SIDE. GOOD STORY

Still not sure why she started her crap to begin with. It was her mom's idea, is not an explanation.

along with her mother,needs their heads bash in , and sold to some hiv filled brothel,along with all the women and men like them...now start swearing me :))))

You can do a lot better.

This is not up to your standards. The whole idea of her having to "get control" in the marriage after all these years came out of nowhere, as did her mother suggesting it. and it went on too long. First, the plan apparently was to have Steve come begging to her - and he did, yet she continued being a bitch until he decided "screw it" and he gave up tring. Then this went back and forth, with one of them being stubborn and the other one begging, that no marriage could have survived it.

Also, you fell back into the trap of your earlier writings, where you switched from first person to third person narrative. If you're having Steve tell the story, you can't suddenly without warning start telling a conversation Megan had when Steve wasn't there.

I always look forward to your work, but this felt like one of your very early efforts.

Put a woman, anyone in fact, on a pedestal, and they will fall. Idolization is not a virtue its a weakness. Its certainly not love but a ridiculous act of conflation.

I love your work. After reading your entire catalog I know you have few stinkers. This one isn't a stinker, but it is quite sub par for you. Can't wait til your next story.

Because I can assure you they wouldn't act like that

I enjoyed it… always love seeing when you put out a new story

You have some very good stories but this story just did not meet the standard I have come to expect. It started off good and was doing well, until you got about halfway through page two. The way they reconciled just did seem like anything possible, it was fine to have them work things out but your method did not bear resemblance to any remotely believable. Seriously the wife had been a bitch and then gets him jealous to get him back, sorry but a reasonable guy would have just activated the divorce when the wife attempted that ploy.

Standard SlirWACC fare.

So she's a beach?

an unfortunate situation can cause an avalanche if not handled correctly, any married man can tell you that. I found that his responses to all that happened to him to be pretty logical and understandable. Everything being equal, her going out, although her father-in-laws idea, was a bit much, and surprised he didn't file the papers, after the first time it happened. I know I would have, but that's me, not him. Nicely done.

You usually write good, but this was just plain awful. 1 star

Both husband and wife said and did things that just festered in both of them and add pride you have a recipe for failure. Atleast in the end both found out that the family comes first.

If you are miserable with someone and miserable without them too, them you should be without them.

With them the misery will continue.

Without them there is always the chance that you can find someone else, someone who does not make you miserable.

Big fan of slirpuff. His latest stories (ranging from 2010-2015) were almost flawless. But this one is a big mess. Should have reread and edited.

Am I the only one thinking that Megan did something with the father when they were young and she went away for twenty minutes to talk about the prenup?

a 'big shit-eating grin' seemed like a pretty strong reaction, also the mentions of Megan having slept with A Lot of guys before makes one wonder about when they were dating and not having sex, as well as the semester she was at college without him.

She confesses to his dad that she's been manipulating him, making him miserable for four or so months, and now wants to undo that and keep her marriage. Her solution is to manipulate him, and make him miserable some more? No way. Papers would be served.

If I'd opened that door and found my Dad sitting in there, after she's spent all this time making me believe it was her boyfriend, AND after Dad saying originally that he would marry her if his son lost her - I believe I would have dragged good ole Dad out of the car and whipped his ass. And then tossed both of them into the car so they could leave together forever. Their explanation wouldn't have helped them a bit. Not even.

I would definitely have dumped her - she never would have gotten back in the house after leaving for her first "date", locks are easy to change, the papers were ready to serve - AND I would have kept my sons. All I'd have to do was go to court and explain she left me to screw my Dad, let them explain their "joke" to the judge. Yeah, I would have kept my boys.

Confusing switches of POV.

Needs proofreading.

Check your work before submitting crap.

illiterate wimpy shit.

She was being a "beach"? "Si" months later? Damn man.

Creative ending.

never think less of yourself. TK U MLJ LV NV

In the real world, a man in as good financial shape wouldn't tolerate any bullshit. His father in law with the limo pulling this shit? "I should have guessed a little bit of incest- she was always a daddys girl, so this shouldn't be a surprise. I'll have her moved back home tomorrow".

If I saw my wife get into a car with another man for a date I would divorce her on the spot, because that would ensure to me she was cheating. No amount of denial would convince me otherwise.

The story is a good framework, it just needs to be fleshed out. It would be good to show what redeeming Megan has. The only thing we know she was hot and he was enamored with her. Not much to maintain a marriage.

The fantasy is gone and so the way to do it was to go on fake dates? Not sure about that. Seems to be more like throwing dynamite on a house fire. I can't figure out father thought it was good for Steve to be emasculated and have her control the marriage. She did such great job before, so give her another chance. Really? How about she creates a reality where she's a decent person? A good way would be having her stroke his ego instead. In other words, have her make him believe he's all that as she charms him into doing what she wants. This is tried and true method since the beginning of time and most of us men have been none the wiser. :-)

The alarm system seem to go off, but the transmitter wire was cut so the software program didn't file the divorce paper with clerk? Where was this receiver that it could not get the signal? Besides that, how long does the signal to be present for the computer program to be launched?

Anyway, in the end, I feel the story is just incomplete. It's not a 5, nor a 1, so I settled on 3 with hopes it will be completed in the future.

See ya. You too dad. Don't need my own father helping my wife fuck with my head.

Glad we have the prenup. See ya. Both of you are outta my life

He doesn't have his "10" back. He has the same old manipulative, selfish, self centered bitch he always had. She's just a little smarter and a lot more clever about how she controls him. Ugly story about a stupid man and a bitch.

The part where he finds his father in the limo and the confrontation is where I find myself disagreeing with the storyline. The Steve I pictured would be more than a little pissed off after discovering the setup. I would think he’d be equally mad at his father’s manipulation as Megan’s. In fact, I’d think that it would cause a major impact on his relationship with his father and possibly his sister (he’d want to know more, I.e. if she had anything to do with it) and the business. Steve no longer sees Megan as the fantasy girl of his dreams and now he’s being played in order to reconcile, not actually work on the marriage. This would make him dig in and file for divorce in my opinion. Maybe later they can have the chance to work on their relationship as their kids would be the tie that binds them. Which raises another point. The kids aren’t really seen as people in the story. More like plot tools. I think that they either should have been more developed and had an impact on the story or taken out. Perhaps they should stay at Steve‘s sister’s house for a while. I mean with all the construction, they really wouldn’t do well being in the house. What father would want to subject his kids to that? As to the advice Megan got from her mother, either she should have had a bigger role in helping Megan make her decision on her attitude about Steve or she shouldn’t have been included in the story. It just seemed like an excuse for Megan to say her mother made her do it. Or she got bad advice and she’s so so sorry now.

The last bit of the story, where Megan sets off he alarm, wouldn’t that alert Steve on his phone/email/something? And if he’s really reconciled with Megan, why still have it as a temptation? But I must say, that would definitely be an interesting trap to set up. It’s almost biblical, like Adam and Eve and the apple from the tree of knowledge.

Overall I enjoyed the story. I just wanted to point out some things I took notice of. Thanks for the story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

He should have filed the divorce papers when she first walked out to the limo for her first "date". Secondly, he should have disowned his dad for coming up with such a shitty idea of her going out like that. It went from her and her mom trying to play him to including his dad in the mix. Fuck all three of them.

Why when she started going out ,didn't he follow her or have her followed.With her attitude when she started going out he should have give her the divorce papers.What did his father get out of this,he called her a slut so was he hoping for a blow job or at the very least a hand job and did he get either?.

that sounds like your dead ex wife

Took a conceptual dump in the middle of page 2. Steve turned into wimpowhiner. Crappy character swap. you could have had the same end without the drastic character change.

The second she stepped inside that limmo and he went along with it, that marriage was over.

Don't care if it's his dad or Jesus himself, you don't play games like that on your alledged better half, and especially after all those months of treating her husband like shit.

You orchestrated that power play badly.

This was a great fun story. Over the top on stress, but a good anticlimax, none the less. 3***

She started fucking him around with those head games. Any man worth a shit would see through that. Even if you did reconsider divorcing her, why would you willingly try to work shit out when SHE was the one who pushed you that far and, even if it was all a lie in the end, why would you still want to kiss her fucking ass when you thought SHE was out on dates and you were left waiting at home like a fucking dog?

Men aren't all mindless puppies to fuck around with, Slirpussy. Fuck yourself

and in response she starts going out on date rather than working to show that she does want him?

What kind of moron sign up for a double helping of bitch?

You got played. Accepted it and are a pussyboy. No longer a man.

Family fucks with your head as well.

You're best rud of all of em.

total bullshit. Fuck dad and fuck her. Pussy boy with a bastard father. No way it goes down like this.

I don't agree with the King. I.like this story about stubborn folks who don't communicate. Some humor and a good story.

Are you fucking kidding me? She's a complete bitch. She leaves their bedroom and won't talk to him unless it's to insult or humiliate him. Why is he bothering to remodel a house he isn't living in at the moment? Surely that can wait for later. He NEEDS a divorce. With the pre-nup and a good attorney he holds ALL the cards. He'll get plenty of visitation (not just weekends and a couple of weeks during the summer) AND he'll get rid of the stone cold bitch. This has to be one of the worst RAAC's on Literotica.

Big swing and a miss on this one, Slirpuff.

The smell just wafts off this stanky pussy! What a twat he married!

I disagree he came out a winner,what with her attitude for all those months and rubbing his face in it when she started going out with his father,he should have dumped her.Also he should have given his father a good bollocking for coming up with the stupid plan,what if it backfired and he used it to decide on the divorce?.

He's trying to decide on a course of action. Should he divorce her or shouldn't he? He's vacillating back and forth.

He determines she's dating someone else, and that convinces him to reconcile instead of divorce her? That makes absolutely no sense.

You tried to make this cute, but just ended up falling flat on your face. Let me get this straight, she treats him like crap for months, and to fix it, she becomes manipulative, calculating and even more of a bitch? Swing and a miss, Webster.

Bebop3, it makes no sense to you, since you're not mentally ill. This wasn't written for you.

I suppose it was meant to be amusing but it wasn't. She's a royal bitch to him for literally months after he did and said something bone headed. Granted, he put his foot in his mouth but that's no reason to treat him like utter shit for months at her mother's idiotic prompting. Finally, after he grows a pair, she realizes what she's about to lose and her solution is... to pretend she's already over him and dating some rich bastard? Seriously? That should have been the final straw for this long suffering moron but instead it actually works? No, sorry. He should have filed immediately after the first "date" she had. I also find it hard to believe his father would go along with such an infantile idea.

I enjoyed this story until the last quarter or so. It was good seeing him finally standing up to his wife and realizing that she wasn't the perfect angel he'd always made her out to be. I was expecting them to have some serious heart to heart time, for them to both realize they could see one another for who they really were and find an even deeper love and appreciation for what they had. What I got instead was juvenile antics and a husband who was still giving his spoiled assed wife everything she wanted. Terrible ending for a very promising start.

So by the way the story is written. I guess the father was involved in everything so basically the father was f****** the daughter in law. The story sounds like the father was f****** daughter-in-law and he was a big ass wimp for letting her back cuz she walked all over him

I am not pleased with this story. Protagonist comes off as an a disillusional idiot who may have been cuckolded by his own wife and father. Wife's mom is a bitch and Hubby just comes off as weak and a pushover. I despise and ridicule men like this. Your work is usually better than this. This is a 1 of 5, maybe a 2 if I'm being generous.

Slirpuff, I thought it was a pretty good story. Damn, you have some tough critics. They made much more of it than I thought was intended. Anyway, I liked the damn thing. Usually happy endings are good by me. There was no philandering and all other issues can be worked around.