Fate of the Fishbowl

"What do you mean, 'I do'?" she questioned. "You have to know what you're doing to me!"

"No, I really don't," I said, noticing her cheeks were red too... was I making her as flustered as she was making me? Was that even possible?

"You really don't know how hot and sexy you are, do you?" she asked, seeming to get a grip on herself and realize how bewildered I was.

"Hot? Sexy? No one has ever used either of those terms to describe me," I said helplessly.

"Never? Well, that can only be because boys are shallow and stupid," she said, gripping my shoulders and pushing herself away from me slightly, so she could look me over with obvious admiration. "Although I'm sure you're about to start getting some attention, since today you've just revealed to every horny boy around that you have huge, perfect breasts."

"I-I-I o-only wanted to let you know how much I..." I stammered awkwardly, and then stammered some more, "I-I-I mean I...."

"Did you dress all sexy and mouth-watering like that for me?" Beth asked. I was still leaning against the wall, and she was once again so close to me I could feel her hot breaths.

"Yes," I trembled. "I sure wouldn't do it for any boys around here."

"Then you truly have no idea about the impact you're having on me right now?" Beth asked, trying to process her feelings just like I was.

"I'm beginning to catch on, but not really, no. I mean you're so gorgeous, inside and out... but... Please just tell me," I said, or rather begged, wanting to hear it from her... really needing to be convinced.

"I'll try," she agreed. "I mean I always knew I liked you. You're so smart, confident and sexy... but I've never felt like this about anyone!"

"Like what?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "I just want to kiss you, to be with you."

"I want to kiss you and be with you too," I told her, every word she was saying a mirror reflection of my own feelings... with every word, she was making me feel so desired...

And again, her lips were securely against mine.

We kissed for a few minutes... never allowing our lips to break contact.

And then when her tongue parted my lips... I replicated her actions.

Our tongues explored each other's mouths in an exotic form of dancing... an intimacy I didn't know could be found from kissing... not that I had any meaningful experience.

As we kissed, I felt dampness entering my panties... my passion so intense I just gave in to the intimacy, as my body welcomed the pleasure that resulted.

Her hands went under my dress and to my ass... where she discovered I was again not wearing pantyhose... and as her hands roamed... feeling so amazing in their meandering exploration of my body... and she also discovered I was wearing a garter.

"Well aren't you full of surprises, you little vixen." she remarked, as she broke our kiss and kissed my neck instead.

"I dressed like this for you," I moaned, as her hot breaths sent shivers of pleasure throughout my body.

"Knowing that makes me feel so hot," she said. Her lips were on my ear, and she tugged it gently.

"Ooooooooh," I moaned, as she was driving me wild and making my pussy dampen even further.

"The things I want to do to you..." she said incompletely, as she returned her lips to mine and kissed me some more.

When she broke the kiss a minute later she said, "I could do this all day, but we should both get back to class."

"Yeah, I suppose," I said, knowing she was right... I'd been gone at least ten minutes... but I too didn't want this... tête-à-tête, I guess you could call it... to end.

"But I just had to see you," she said.

"I'm so happy you did," I said. I then said worriedly, "But I don't know how long I can hide this from Jamie. She noticed my frazzled reaction to your compliment earlier, interrogated me, could tell I was lying, and then she stormed off."

"I know she's been your best friend like forever. Do you trust her?" she asked with a slight look of concern.

"With my life," I said.

"Think she could keep our secret?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"I trust you," Beth said. "So if you're confident she can keep our secret until we're ready to come out, I'm okay with her knowing as much as you decide to tell her."

"You are?" I asked, realizing the permission she'd just given me implied she was willing for me to share whatever our relationship might become in the future with Jamie as well.

"Yes," Beth nodded. "I have a couple of friends who don't live around here who know my secret, so I can certainly understand your wish to share yours with your long-time best friend." I'd known Jamie since before kindergarten, and Beth almost as long, although rather distantly until yesterday, so it was no surprise she was aware of how close Jamie and I had always been with each other.

"I really do want to keep her in the loop," I assured her. "The past day, or not even a day yet, has been like a whirlwind."

"A good whirlwind?" she asked playfully.

"The best," I said.

"So may I make something official?" she asked.

"Um, sure I guess," I said, unsure of where she was going with this new tack.

"Will you be my secret girlfriend?"

"Yes!" I agreed with a girlish squeal, likely a little too enthusiastically.

"Awesome," she squealed back, fully matching my enthusiasm. She kissed me again and said, "I'll go out first to check the hallway. If I don't text you, follow me out in fifteen seconds."

"Okay," I nodded.

"Later, girlfriend," she grinned, kissing me one last time. "And I'm happy I can say that literally!"

"Later, literal girlfriend," I grinned back, the noun feeling so natural on my lips.

She left... then fifteen seconds later I left, and returned to class, surfing on a high I can't even begin to describe.

Once the bell rang, I headed to tutorial.

Jamie and I both had a tutorial period next that we were using to apply to various colleges, and to write resumé after resumé, since each school was different enough from the others that we weren't able to write any one-size-fits-all papers.

I walked into the library and Jamie breathed quietly into my face, displaying a mood that wasn't open for any discussion, "We're going to the washroom. Right. Now!"

"Okay," I agreed readily, happy she was insisting upon continuing her interrogation, since I was now allowed to tell her the truth.

Once we were in the bathroom and Jamie had set out the bathroom's Closed for Cleaning sign, which we'd done on a few other occasions when we wanted to talk privately... although all the other times it was about Jamie's relationships... sometimes good, sometimes bad.

"Spill the beans," she demanded, while she went and pushed all three stall doors open to make sure no one else was with us.

"I will. But first you have to promise you will never utter a word about this to anyone," I said in a stern voice.

"That goes without saying; you know I wouldn't," she objected.

"Ordinarily that would be good enough. But this is an entirely new level of secret," I explained.

"Okay, I swear upon my mother's grave, even though she's still alive and well, I will never, ever, 'utter' a word about whatever you're about to tell me to another living soul. So there, it's official. So just tell me already!" she said.

"Beth is my girlfriend," I blurted out succinctly.

"What?" she whisper-bellowed, this revelation likely not among the top billion possible things she thought would come out of my mouth.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before, but she'd sworn me to secrecy. But now she's given me permission to share our secret with you, and only with you, so I can tell you whatever you want to know."

"All this cloak and dagger stuff sounds really serious! Is it?" she asked.

"Well, we haven't talked about going on any dates, but she did ask me kind of officially to be her secret girlfriend, I said yes, and then we kissed on it before we had to go back to our classes," I explained.

"Beth Prince," she said. "Cheerleader. Most popular girl in school. Gorgeous."

"Yes."

"Beth Prince asked you to be her girlfriend?" she asked not really as a question, but processing this outrageous news.

"Yes."

"The Beth who's already dating a college boy."

"Yes, but that isn't what it seems."

"How? When? I mean, I didn't even know you were into girls," she said. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," she hastened to add.

So I told her everything that had happened yesterday and today, including as much detail as I could recall through the near delirium I'd been experiencing.

She listened, asked a few questions for clarifications, and once she was up to date with the lengthy makeout session in the cheerleader's dressing room and the details of how Beth had made us 'official', she asked, "And it never occurred to you that all this might be some elaborate setup to humiliate you or something?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I mean the possibility did cross my mind for a moment, but you know Beth well enough to agree with me that she's never been involved in any of the silly shenanigans other people have gotten up to."

"Who uses the word 'shenanigans' anymore?" she said, always teasing me for using words that nobody still used in this century.

"That's the only question you have after hearing all that?" I asked.

"No, I really want to know: how do you feel about all this?"

"Overwhelmed, confused, excited, bewildered, confused, apprehensive, and swamped with feelings I've never felt before!"

"The word you're looking for is horny," she smiled wickedly.

"Well, she definitely makes my body feel all hot and bothered," I admitted, feeling so grateful to be able share all this with my best friend.

"I can tell."

"You can?"

"Your cheeks are all red," she pointed out. "I mean they were earlier this morning in the hallway when I called you out on it, but also right now."

"Oh," I said.

"Well, I'm so happy for you," she said.

"Thanks."

"And if she breaks your heart, I shall kick her ass," she added.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from my badass bestie," I laughed.

"So it turns out my best friend is a lesbian," she said. "Cool."

"Or maybe I'm bi," I mentioned.

"I don't know about that," she said. "You've always loved fish, so I guess I should have put two and two together."

"What does an entrée have to do with anything?" I asked... fish indeed being my favorite main course.

"You really are that sweet and innocent," she smiled fondly.

"Says the utterly worldly woman. You've had sex with what... one guy?" I pointed out.

"I blew another guy once," she bragged.

"Yes, you're a truly experienced sexpot," I said, just the idea of sucking a dick always grossing me out.

"Well, I understand pussy is supposed to taste like fish," she said.

"Really?" I asked, oddly the thought of tasting a pussy having never popped into my head during this entire wild less than twenty-four hours. I mean... if I was a lesbian... if I was dating a girl... which it appeared that I'd soon be doing... would I be required to lick her pussy? Would I want to? Would I be able to? Would she lick mine? Suddenly I was a rattled mess.

"I just terrified you, didn't I?" she said, knowing me too well.

"I never even thought of that!" I said, I imagine my face going pale white.

"Thought of what?" she asked playfully, knowing full well what I meant.

"What lesbians do besides kiss each other," I said. "And I suppose... fondle."

"Well, just imagine you're kissing her lips... just her other lips," Jamie suggested.

"You're not helping."

"Then just slide your tongue between them like you did with her mouth," Jamie continued, clearly enjoying teasing me.

"Oh God," I moaned, and not in a good way.

"If you do it well enough, she'll scream those exact words," she added.

"I hate you," I said, hitting her shoulder, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Had Beth ever licked a pussy? She might have... she seemed so experienced. What if she wanted me to do that? And then what if I was no good?

"Don't worry, Bailey," Jamie said. "You just landed a girlfriend less than an hour ago; I doubt you're moving on to cunnilingus all that quickly."

"Cunnilingus?" I asked, that a five dollar SAT-sounding word I hadn't heard before.

"It has a few synonyms. Eating pussy, munching twat, carpet munching, boxed lunch, muff diving, licking the bean..." she listed off. "And my favourite: Eating your vegetables."

"Oh my God!" I repeated, by this time exasperated.

"I think I might watch too much porn," she admitted.

"Ya think?" I said sarcastically.

"And you should probably start watching some," she added.

"Suddenly I feel I'm in way over my head," I said.

"Head is another term for it; or face sitting, jewel munching..." she continued.

"Please stop," I said, my head spinning.

"Okay, okay," she said. "This is just too much fun."

"I'm happy you're having so much fun at my terrified expense," I said.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'll get serious if you like. If Beth really likes you, she'll take everything at whatever pace you're comfortable with."

"I hope so," I said.

As we were getting ready to leave, I asked, "Does it really taste like fish?"

"According to many websites, yes," she said.

So instead of working on a college resumé, I used the rest of the period to research oral female sex on my iPad.

I discovered that every woman has a smell down there which like fingerprints, was probably unique. Very few of us smell like fish, which was a term that mostly men described it as, and most women thought very little of them for doing do.

The more I read, the more I learned that for a girl with a 1580 SAT score, there was at least one fascinating subject I knew almost nothing about.

Labia (the singular term being 'labium', which is seldom used, since they always come in pairs) come in all shapes and sizes.

There were various types and textures of pubic hair, and many women actually shave it all off... which I couldn't fathom being other than excessively painful.

Many women are only able to reach orgasm through cunnilingus. (Or Australian kisses, or whistling through the wheatfield, or... Jamie, get out of my head!)

Most women are self-conscious about their own scent and taste.

The clitoris, or clit, is a part of the pussy that is very sensitive, and it can trigger intense pleasure... (I'd never touched mine in any serious fashion during any of my masturbation activities.)

Most women take 25-45 minutes to reach orgasm when they're with a partner.

I read that you can spell out the alphabet with your tongue to stimulate and tease.... Although that likely won't get a woman off, since most of us need repetition, at least near the end, to reach an orgasm.

I read that treating a pussy like you're licking an ice cream cone can be very effective... which made me smile, because I liked ice cream, and felt I was quite capable of doing that.

The bell rang, I reluctantly stopped researching, and Jamie asked, "Learn anything?"

"Yeah, I knew absolutely nothing about this," I confessed, as if she hadn't known already.

She smiled, "But I'm sure you'll be an expert by tomorrow."

"You know me," I smiled, since there was no doubt I'd be researching cunnilingus all night. I wasn't sure it was something I'd ever do for real... or ever even want to do... but I was determined to be ready if the situation ever arose. I was not someone ever to do anything half-assed, not even if it was for the first time.

.....

At lunch, I glanced over at Beth on a few occasions, and almost every time she was already looking at me.

Jamie whispered, "She can't take her eyes off of you; I think she likes you, she really, really likes you."

"Shut up," I said, even though I was giddy with excitement that she indeed did 'like' me just as much as I 'liked' her.

.....

In English class I glanced at Beth a few times, she caught my eyes a couple of those times, and I caught her once, too. With twenty minutes left in the period, Mr. Parker gave us some time to work with our 'Fated Partners', his description of our pairings now, so we could decide on our literary works... which Beth and I had done yesterday.

Beth asked, "Mr. Parker, may Bailey and I go to the library to discuss our project?"

"Certainly, Ms. Prince," he agreed, people rarely refusing Beth anything.

I followed her out, and we proceeded to the library. She led me to the back, and we sat down on opposite sides of a somewhat secluded table.

"How did the conversation with Jamie go?" Beth asked right off the bat.

I was surprised she opened with that, and that she even knew I'd already had the conversation. "It went amazingly."

"She was okay with... us?" she asked, looking a bit worried.

"At first she was skeptical, which I understood," I said, looking around to make sure there was no one within eavesdropping range. "She pointed out I'd never once mentioned having any interest in girls, which was true, and she brought up a concern that you might be cruelly setting me up for a fall, and we quickly agreed that just wasn't who you are. And then once I'd told her everything and she saw how happy I was, she was very happy for me... congratulatory, even."

"Good," she nodded. "I understand why she was skeptical. I mean I did kind of just start kissing you right out of the blue."

"I'm still processing all this, to be honest."

"Like processing as in coming up to speed, or questioning whether this relationship is heading someplace you want to go?" she asked, sounding worried. Witnessing such vulnerability and insecurity in a girl who could get any boy she wanted, and was likely able to convince many girls to explore a same sex romance, actually relieved me, even though that's exactly what she'd just done with me. But if I had any reservations about Beth's sincerity, and frankly I did have just the slightest doubts deep down, since this was all a little too Lifetime Channel convenient, they dissipated from the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice.

"No, it's not that," I said, shaking my head. "It's just..." I wasn't sure how to put what I was feeling into words.

"Go ahead, you can tell me anything," she assured me, while still looking a little nervous.

"Well... I... I don't know anything about being a lesbian," I said.

Her face changed, as her concern melted into a warm smile. "There isn't anything to know. You just feel how you feel."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, being a lesbian isn't any different from being straight, except for who you're attracted to," she explained.

"It isn't?" I asked, my logical mind objecting that there were quite a few very obvious differences.

"Well, of course there are some devils in the details," she admitted. "But in essence, everyone is the same. Lesbians find some women attractive, while straight people find some members of the opposite sex attractive."

"Well, obviously," I smiled.

"Feelings are feelings, whoever we are," she said. "It's true that some hetero people will judge us because we don't fit into the traditional 'one man one woman' box of expectations passed down from older adults, religion and past beliefs. But I can't control how much or how little I like girls or boys. I can't ignore my feelings for you, because then I wouldn't be true to myself, and I'm through pretending to be something I'm not. Or more accurately, I'm almost through with that, since I don't yet feel brave enough to come out to everyone about who I am."

"I understand that, and I agree wholeheartedly," I said. "And when you do feel it's time, I hope I'll feel brave enough to be standing right next to you and holding your hand. But what I'm struggling to come to grips with right now is the extent to which my feelings about you are consuming me, since I'm not used to that kind of roller coaster."