All Comments on 'Fathers and Daughters'

God that was a powerful short story.

Seems cut off.

Wow, thoughg provoking.

Thank you.

Very enjoyable, would love to hear about what happens after this. But a good snipit

So much power in so few words. Amazing job.

Excellent as always!

Short but memorable.

A heartfelt short written with sensitivity and passion

We always think of the father protecting the daughter, but when a grown daughter saves her father it gives a whole new dimension to the love they share. Lovely job. Thank you for sharing.

Nice job.

Paternity fraud ought to carry serious prison time.

Sweet little story!

5

And were it possible, another 5 for recommending Cat5 to your readers. I've been registered on this site for 16 years and she is on my rather short list of favorite writers.

Let me be the first to say...

How is this a Loving Wives story, exactly?

You got me totally hooked and involved in your story, and by the time I had my glasses and eyes wiped, it was over. I loved it, but I want more .

You wove that into a great tapestry, using just the threads of a few words. Masterful.

Thank you, sir. 5*

But why is it on a porn site? Why is it in the LW section except a non-loving wife caused a man to fall apart. Mental illness is a serious issue in this country. As are the homeless. This just isn't the platform for this story. Depressing as hell and while I appreciate your skill as a writer, I deplore your venue.

Fantastic short story. A definite 5. You could expand this into a full story.

To the first Anon...

...it's a LW story because the mother cheated on her husband and got knocked up. Dad found out he wasn't the bio dad and ended up on the streets.

We need this story flushed out.

Your talents are amazing! Thanks for sharing them with us.

simple and direct

What a great and well written story. Short and said all it had to say. 5 stars

I'm an old man . Waiting to die . This story had tears running down my face . Thank you.

. . . the 750 word limit leaves too much on the cutting room floor.

We know what? He wound up on the wrong side of mama’s baby, papa’s maybe, but the whys and wherefores and how he found out are all missing. Too koften the 750 stories are like a baked potato but missing the butter and salt and sour cream; this was more like the salt, but missing the butter, sour cream and potato.

We know dad wasn’t the bio dad, and that he bolted and was destroyed, but what thought process led him to this? Did he spend weeks trying to get around the knowledge that the kids weren’t biologically his, or did he leave immediately? Did he want to still be their father, or did he just zombify?

This had the potential to be a good story, but the stupid 750 word limit ruined it.

So, you’d deprive children, who might still be small, of both their parents?

Thanks for that. Wonderful.

Sorry, a 750-word story should still be a complete story, this isn't.

Great work as always! 5*

I will respond to Anon. about how this belongs in Loving Wives

There are a few statements in the story which I will paraphrase:

Mom was stuck too far down the bottle.

He walked out the door. Mom stood there cursing at the man she was supposed to love.

Mom moved her boyfriend in in about two weeks.

End paraphrase.

There's your Loving Wife.

this was barley an outline of a story...

MORE! NOW!

Unusual for me, but I did not care for the story. Just as you get me totally involved in it, it ended (or maybe a better word is "stopped")

Short stories like this are difficult to write and it appears difficult for many readers to appreciate fully. It takes a careful read to pick out words and phrases that have meaning and apply them to the theme. Length does not ensure quality--only quality writing does that.

This last you have done well. A good, hard-earned five stars.

It was a flash.....story?

is how to tell a story.

Five stars isn't enough

Wow!! A very touching, heartbreaking story. Those not moved must have stone hearts. Thank you Bebop.

Could have been great but needed more content. 3 stars

Nice story outline.

Says all.

Damn that was good! Short and swift like a blow from a sledgehammer. Very well done! Congrats!!!

Killian

I didn't count the words but I think I know. Good job.

"Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it."

This was special. A small window into a complex story. Thanks! I loved it.

...why? What is the purpose of the story (a) being on a porn site? And (b) being in this category?

You are so very talented. You drew me in and now I want more, damn it! Excellent work, my friend.

Very well written. Sad, but at the same time hopeful.

Five ☆s and a thousand tears.

Outstanding!

Your question as to why this story would be on a porn site, had me shaking my head. This is Literotica, yes? There are thousands of stories here that fulfil the second part of that name - 'erotica', without ever coming even close to the first part, 'lit' - short for literate, literature or literary. This story fits that first part perfectly and restores the balance very slightly.

Now you know. You're welcome.

5*

Well written but was disappointed that it ended where it did. And was a little disappointed that it was non-erotic

I'm with Slippery Jim, anyone who thinks Literotica is a porn site CLEARLY needs to check the definition of porn. Granted, there is a large quantity of erotica but thanks to a growing number of quality writers including Bebop, Randi, qhml1 and many others; quality stories are growing as well. SJ is right, 5* - thank you for your story!

Short but very sweet. 5*

Not sure about the category, however, the wife was barely mentioned.

I am not sure how you do it but to write such a poignant story with so few words is masterful. What a wonderful, emotional and moving short story.

sad

Read it again and I think I'm jealous - jealous of a father with such a wonderful pair of kids and jealous of a writer who created such a lovely, painful, and remarkably short piece. Thank you for sharing.

When I first discovered Literotica it was the erotic part that attracted me. I guess I finally grew up (a little anyway ). Guess it started at 58! Now like a fine wine I appreciate the quality stories like Bebop, JW, Q, Randi, Cav'gurl and BG33. I still am a JPB fan though!

These writers all leave me jealous, I am a hell of a reader but write like hell. Thanks to all those who can!

somewhere east of Omaha

Good reflection on the impact of a missing parent. Too bad that many divorced fathers simply disappear from their kids lives. My folks gave me their divorce as a HS gradation surprise; well, not a surprise since he had been gone for most of the preceding year. Then I didn't see him again until four years later when I got home from my tour in Vietnam. While it was good to know he was alive, I really didn't feel that happy at his appearance.

Dang his wife was a whoring cunt!! He is suffering while the whoring cunt is living well

thought provoking, sad and happy story

Heart breaking. Well done.

Excellent vignette. Four stars.

JPB NOT BOB