All Comments on 'Father's Birthday Ch. 06'

Lucky sons. Here's hoping there's more family and some friends even to make into Jack's playthings!

Alex had said he was a top, and it should have followed that direction with Alex approaching his father with what he had seem and then the father bringing Alex in on the action that direction. It just didn't flow with Alex initially professing his dominance and desire to his brother and then not joining his father. Don't get me wrong, it still was an above average story in writing and character. But the indication was distracting and would have been a better direction. Two on one would also have been quite hot.

your story sounds like most of the action is continually a cut & paste job with the same sequence of events describing activities using the exact same words, thoughts & actions regardless of which of the three you are talking about? that & the whole scenario coming across as if it was written by someone who has read a lot of gay erotica but never actually had sex with another male? the same cliched stock phrases & words used to describe events, feelings, emotiona & reactions, thoughts etc over & over again so that the story becomes predictable & tired, almost as if you'd become bored with writing it.

ends up sounding like a story about a woman giving birth which was written by a teenage male. why do so many authors of gay erotica never relate or include any of the mundane yet vital & important aspects of any sexual interaction between two men? i mean anal hygiene, i've never read a story which evven mentions the very important function of douching prior to any penetration. is this something the younger generations haven't learned or considered when it comes to gay sex? i suppose it's the reverse of the problem with younger men learning about sex from the internet, like the fact all straight men under 40 seem to think females love a man to cum on their faces.

don't let my opinions or comment discourage you from writing, it's the only way we learn to improve, by taking note of others criticism, that & actually reading your own work before uploading or posting your work rather than just noticing the praise from readers who are easily impressed by anything with sex in it. for those of us who have actually had sex with a variety of partners across the spectrum of sexualities & genders it is easy for us to see past the usual descriptive prose regarding sexual activities & quickly notice that the scenarios don't ring true, regardless of how descriptive & accurate the author might think their work comes across, but as ii said in my previous comments, don't let me discourage you from writing more in the future, just read it back & ask yourself how realistic it sounds to you as a reader?