All Comments on 'Find a Way to My Heart'

Great taste in music. I haven't even read the story yet, and you've set the hook.

jezzaz

I have to tell you that this story grabbed both my attention and emotions. I shouldn't be that surprised as I have enjoyed all of your other contributed tales, especially Out of Love. But Jesus H Christ you are not afraid of venturing out of the box and this story was certainly that. I feel that you developed and painted the sense of loss and grief so deeply that it was impossible for me to remain unaffected. I hope that you continue to post your stories to the site well into the future. Cheers!

Who would have expected all these things to happen in a sharing story? And I don't feel deprived in the least!

Thank you!

It turned my stomach a time or three but this was a well written story.

It would have been fun to see them navigate each others sex party experiences but your story was already long enough.

Wow! Like Mr. Sutter said " That sure is something." Not what I come looking for but a very pleasing story.

Really enjoyed the way you pulled my heart strings Jezzaz, lol !

Thanks very much.

AMerryman

I was waiting for the penny to drop and for him to find out his wife had been cheating, but instead it was a moving story about grief and trying to move on with your life. A great tale and I'm glad it had a happy ending!

That was on it's way to being spectacular when it turned into an advertisement for swinging. Then he met his next wife at a swing party. Great plan for someone looking for a monogamous relationship. Seriously?

Ten to one his dead wife fucked at least Chuck if not more I don't care what the author says.

Such a waste. Fine, post swinger stories but don't waste a start like this story had. It was on it's way to the sort of story that could get published and sold in mainstream book stores. The start was that good. Then it just turned into gold plated cow turds. So disappointing.

A very moving, well written take on a divisive topic through a grief stricken lens. If all sharing stories were like this then I have much less problem with them.

Excellent work 5*

I’m sure that this story is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s so well written and to manage to bring tears and erotic stimulation to me in the same story is a feat.

"Ten to one his dead wife fucked at least Chuck if not more I don't care what the author says. "

You do understand that these people Do Not Exist, right? That they do what I, as the author, tell them to do. That they don't have lives outside of this story?

The dead wife didn't fuck anyone, apart from who I detailed, IE her husband, Jonas.

I mean, I get that you are that invested in the story, that you need to make up some sort of back story for the characters - and that's great -, but, no, they don't do what I expressly say they didn't, just because the reader has some kind of desire that they do.

Auggie didn't fuck anyone apart from her husband, and was not cheating, and I expressly said so at the top of the story.

I find it really interesting that some readers feel the need to actually twist a story around, 180 degrees from what it actually expressly says, just so they can feel justified in being angry about it. Weird.

Strange that, right

also an awakening after a tragedy.

Thank you.

Another outstanding story from a truly talented writer.

I have missed your stories and it was a real treat to see one by you. Maybe I have overlooked one?

This was really well-written, particularly Part 1, where the only adjective I can think to use is TRUE. I've never been in a situation anywhere close to what you describe, but have suffered loss like everyone else, and all I could think was that you just hit all the right notes. Part 2 was fine, but I guess my own viewpoints get in the way of really buying into acceptance of the events. It was entertaining in any event, so I am very happy to have read it.

notme

I've been restraining myself, but my nit pick monster is rattling its cage!

She's not wearing a bra because they're itchy with the dress? What does the dress have to do with the bra being itchy? Her dress is topless?

He never heard of "plus one"? He finds a party with all couples unusual? Where was it said that they were all that selective with the invitations, until it was explained to him, that is?

Sorry, not buying that their closest friends are swingers and they never knew about it.

I loved the Freudian slip line!

I guess you didn't want to drag out an already long story, but him participating at the very first party? I can see him maybe considering it, then doing it at a later party.

"A bit hypocritical, give what I just did" - Not really - as he said, he never would have done it if Auggie was still alive.

I don't buy Rob's line that implies that people who don't want to swing are insecure in their relationship, or their relationship isn't strong enough.

Rob is I'm sure honest when he says that they're not trying to come off as "ethically superior," but again, he seems to imply that their relationships are stronger, more secure.

How did Virginia become Gina?

Despite my nit picks, 5 stars from me.

Your point about meeting his next wife at a swing party would be better made about HER meeting HIM! It was only her second time, she was just looking for a new experience after a sexless marriage. HE'S the one that was regularly swinging.

Page 2 of this god awful fucking misery fest.

Ditto, SMH.... Enjoyed the story. A unique plot and very well written.

The sex is a pretty minuscule portion of the story. Details of the accident, more on the passengers' trauma, details of the aftermath in a family's life, all of that was compelling. I can easily see someone in the "dead zone" ... and the story's is one way that someone would come out of it.

In most stories the tragic event is a snippet and then life resumes for the main character as if that event didn't have a profound effect on them. Background cause to why he was single and dating or a single father, without showing the deep turmoil h went through. You did an excellent job of portraying that part. I could literally feel what he went through.

When something so profoundly dramatic happens in someone's life that they completely lose themselves in grief something dramatically different has to happen sometimes to snap them out of it. A completely different experience. Something that gets them out of their comfort zone and shakes up their thinking. A paradigm shift.

Obviously, that can happen in many different ways and for the protaganist it happened through swininging. The added benefit for this particular paradigm shift though was that it also "cleaned the pipes". Definitely an added bonus that he needed.

Everyone needs good friends like Chuck and Barb and people like Mary and Rob in their lives.

"I was doubtful in her appraisal. I'd never thought of myself as a sex god. Not even a sex Smurf."

Had to laugh at the dialogue... very dark, very sad, very touching, very human! There always hope !!

and that carries the day for full marks. Part II started to feel like Plato's Republic for swingers. Also, a bit preachy and pushy of that particular lifestyle. I felt like some one was trying to convert me personally.

However, I do understand that Part II HAD to be what it was for the overall effectiveness of the story. So that is a mitigating factor.

Overall 5 * solid.

but not necessarily, nor even frequently, used. Animal fucking is fine, for animals. And man is an animal, at his base level. Some people just need to manifest their inner animal. The problem with brainless sex is that, eventually, something happens that's, well, brainless.

But not in this fictional world. Maybe the next story contest will have the theme of recreational drug use, with absolutely no addiction or physical side effects. Then maybe gratuitous promiscuity, with absolutely no venereal disease. I can't wait for the story contest where everyone wins the lottery, everyone who buys a ticket.

Yeah, I can't wait for your pseudo intellectual to explain why its smart, at least for one person, to buy a lottery ticket. For the vast majority? About as smart as treating your spouse like a set of golf clubs, or a fantastic hunting dog: "Here, try her out; she's the best little bitch in the field." What kind of woman would be so selfish or prudish to not enjoy being treated like an object of pride and pleasure, for others to use?

Thanks for the effort. Hope you got paid by the word rather than the substance.

It's your cross to bear. A good character creation is no longer 'yours'. It's like you've birthed a fictional person. A GOOD author, and I think you qualify, will attest that you largely let your creations run wild, duke it out.

A bad author is just using fictional people as mouthpieces for their opinions and foils. And it usually shows. Problem with being a good author is all the speculations readers will make. Just ride it out. It's cool that you'v vouched for a character, but readers will still theorize. It's not that weird. If you made character A 70% likely to do X, people can assume that. Even if the truth is the 30% prevailed.

I enjoyed it immensely, except where you got a bit too preachy.

The descriptions of how he felt from the moment he learned about the crash were riveting. Powerful. Bleak. So insightful that I wondered where you got it from. It felt real.

The wrap up was well done too. So many times it feels like a valedictory where we find out every mundane detail about the story's end. But you did better than that with just enough detail and a realistic tone and again we got a good picture of where his future was headed. No rainbows or unicorns, just sparse realistic detail. Congratulations! This is good writing.

R.

I enjoyed the mental part of the story even more than the sex. It was a great look into the minds of adults that are able to think with their big heads. Great job!

And I waded thru 7 pages of this mess. UGH!

I read this story twice before ready to comment. This is the last story in the sharing event I read. All of them, this one included, I enjoyed. I just enjoyed yours twice.

and very heartfelt.

Top quality background stuff, too.

The story is great. The level of detail is immense. There may have beenan iniordinate amount of time spent at Jona's pity party but it served to reinforce just how depressed he had become. The swinging was a crutch and when he thought he was ready he moved on with a new partner he tossed it away. As introspective as this was it would be fitting to have the new couple discuss their experiences. Well done.

Insignia

One commenter used the word "bleak", and that certainly nails my reaction to the story. I know you wanted to restore us with some level of renewal and acceptance in part two, but for me the "slough of despair" that was part one was so deep I found it hard to join the recovery. In fact I found myself casting about for a Just Plain Bob if only to relieve the distress.

You delivered the message you sought so elegantly nothing less than a five would work. That I always give fives is irrelevant, this piece of parchment is hands down the best contribution in this package of stories by far, a truly tearful melody.

Isn't it curious how, in my opinion at least, so much really good entertainment can be found on a website millions of people would decry as unworthy.

Thanks for a marvelous story.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

Top 5 RIGHT ( and WRONG ) licks and tricks employed by Jezzaz in dangerous and murky literary arena from my lofty perspective in the Wannabe Author luxury suite .

1) What jezzaz did RIGHT : There was a lot to admire about this story . The narrator wasn't a prude and yet wasn't a sybarite. He was emotionally clenched post 📬 untimely death of spouse and jezzaz did a very fair job of portraying " the grieving / mourning process “ and then introducing the supporting characters entailed to draw out this individual out to the cutting edge of marital relations in credible fashion.Kudos.

2) What jezzaz did WRONG : Yet the monetary boon of seven million for airline negligence severely undercut my ability to enjoy the story . With that largesse, counseling is available and it was foolish of main character not to avail himself of that option long before the friends somewhat clumsy and a bit high-handed (but well intentioned) intervention .

Pity

3)What jezzaz did RIGHT : The narrator was open to outsider influence , yet engaged critical thinking throughout inner and verbal debates .He was a gracious individual who knew how to disagree, state his case with conviction without being "disagreeable “. Plaudits for clearcut diplomacy skillz.

Nicely played

)What jezzaz did WRONG :  No grasping bad guys, clumsy hedge fund managers or high-heeled gold digger edged in a scene or two to create very viable and subplot . Everybody but abstract corporate airline flacks had hearts of gold and only well-heeled , lonely vulnerable narrator's best interests at heart .

Mega-misfire .

5) RIGHT : I admired that main character initially didn't hook up with some siren , or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 👙 issue fodder , but an articulate, older trim woman of experience and sensitivity . Huzzah for women of certain age. Oh what pilates , 3 digit IQ with libido to match can wrought.

The spectrum of actresses between Sela Ward and Leslie Mann wouldn't kill for that role , but they might maim someone if agent hasn't called with offers in last month.

Bottom Line(s) : Worthwhile read with major disfiguring fiscal flaw . Make Auggie's cause of death from car crash due to non-insured or state minimum driver . Then the grace under pressure drama 🎭 for all concerned goes next level instead of aforementioned " Rich Peoples' Problems.

Remember the first Batman movie and the appearance of Jerry Hall ex-supermodel role after she displeased Jack Nicholson's Joker 🃏 ? She was punished on diabolical yet selective aesthetic level . If one kept one eyes 👀 carefully averted from ruinous downside and focused on a not inconsiderable positive portion of the prose - this was a quality experience.

I thank jezzaz for sharing ( and daring )

After such a careful analysis we find: "Oh what pilates , 3 digit IQ with libido to match can wrought." Nice, but "wrought" is past tense of "work." The quote should be: "Oh what pilates , 3 digit IQ with libido to match can work."

That was brutal, sad, moving, uplifting and just brilliant.

Would hit home. As a former foster child I was lost coming out of the system. Strip clubs and yeah bookers brought me back to reality. I truly hate to think of what I might have become. I have PTSD. From being beaten and abused. That was my way back plus its what I knew. Most of the wives and grandmas and yes daughters stripped in front of me. So what was new? Nothing. And there in lies my problem. Nothing is new to me.

Emotional cover on the grief of loss and a novel way his friends dragged him out of his funk. Couldn’t stop reading and, despite being fearful of where we were going with it, the writing was good enough to keep going through to the finish. 5*.

You did a great job of putting into words, the feelings a spouse might deal with under the circumstances described. However, although the entire story was well-written, I thought the second part, taking a man suffering clinical depression to a skeevy swinger's party, was outrageous. I suppose it could happen, but I'm betting a real psychologist would be horrified at the idea of taking a man grieving over the loss of his wife - to a wife swapping party.

I thought the story moved along well and was interesting, at least until we reached the self-serving and pretentious discourse on why swingers are superior to all others in their relationships. Yeah, what was that? Reverse psychology? LOL. And what's the deal with two different shrinks telling him what's wrong with him, and what he should be doing and feeling, when they've never even met the guy before that night? It's that easy to diagnose a stranger?

I know you were tasked with writing a smart story with a strong plot about how wonderful "sharing" can be, but I don't think a lot of psycho-babble about how most of your readers are simply too weak and too scared to be swingers is going to convince anyone.

Still, you're a fine writer, I've enjoyed most of your stories, so please keep writing. Thanks for posting.

Glad he found his way. It would kill me that she went to a sex party and fucked people we know maybe even multiple guys. It would be hard for me to settle down with her without knowing..Juvenile I know but it would drive me crazy even though I’d been with the other woman. I’m ow you wrote his wife never cheated but I see where some comments were thinking that. She was supposed to be coming in on a flight but it canceled to another be she never answered him or called . That’s strange and very odd for a married mother to change her flights and never be in contact with her family to explain. I was also waiting for it to pop in or that she was involved with this group somehow

Far too detailed especially in the first chapter. Other than that wonderful depiction of dealing with loss.

First part was great, then the swinging BS started.

What he should have done was immediately walk away, and cut off contact with Barb and Chuck, not exactly the kind of people he should let near his children.

Not to mention the extremely poor taste of bringing a grieving widower to something as tawdry as a swinging party/orgy. A good way to take a dump on his wife's memory.

I think this story was about four pages too long. All the minute details just dragged it out so much that it got boring. And when his ‘so-called’ friends dragged him to a swingers party, that pretty much blew it for me. Friends don’t drag a grieving person into a situation he’s uncomfortable with. I don’t know, this story just left me cold.

I read for the minute details. Story wasn't to long. End was abrupt!

how this piece of shit got such a high rate, So, he went from a mourning widower to a threesome in a swingers club? What an utter piece of shit!! I lost my wife in an accident and you have no idea how disrespecting this story is to all of us that cherish the memory of our loved ones. Disgusting to the point of throwing up.

I have to say this story is not too bad. I was getting a feel for the character, and enjoying reading about him, then you drop the thing with Chuck and Barb sneakily taking Jonas to a swinger party. I lost respect for the story. All in all I can only give this work two stars.

I can associate with the story on many levels, and it is pretty well spot on.

I didn’t like this story. For several reasons, but two main ones. Number one, I strongly subscribe to the “Economy of Language” concept. I will never be happy reading five or six paragraphs when three or four well constructed sentences could convey an idea much more succinctly. To say this story is verbose would be a gross understatement. And number two: The very concept of “well meaning friends” (sarcasm intended) staging an “Intervention” is so abhorrent to me that it offends my rational sensibilities. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s “Fiction”... but that doesn’t make certain ideas any less offensive. Don’t believe me? Let someone post a kiddie story or two here and see how many people are offended. Okay, that’s pure hyperbole but it makes my point. I did read the entire story so I could make an “informed” comment or two about it. And that’s my 2 cents worth. I doubt most will think it’s worth that much.

Oh for love of all that is Holy, get a better editor, I should have known this would be long winded drivel with the editor you used, her own writing is the same. I gave up on page 2, far, far too many words to describe things. A few sentences would have said the same are 2 to 3 of the long winded paragraphs.

The first part was absolutely top notch stuff.....as equally emotional as “In Sickness and Health” and absolutely devastating to read. The imagery was so vivid it made me think that the author, or someone very close to him, suffered a loss in this manner. Twenty star stuff.

The part with the swingers, well, I didn’t like that part much at all. Well written.....yes.....but just not my cup of tea, and so jarring lay different from the first part of the story. I recognize this is the Loving Wives category, so something in that theme had to be worked in, but my God, it was like, I don’t know, superimposing the Smurfs onto the Mona Lisa. It just didn’t work for me.

I think I've sorted out my mixed feelings about this story. You are a marvelous writer, and met a peculiar challenge with a marvelous story that begins with a chilling portrayal of shock and grief, then segues into an awkward paean to the healing, if not downright salvific powers of swinging (although please call it sharing, a much less judgmental term). You not only met the challenge, you demolished it, but my unsophisticated wish is that you would have written the first three pages, then abandoned the challenge to others and completed a story for the Romance category that showed him finding love and happiness in more believable circumstances. Color me uninteresting, unimaginative gray.

NTSB's run the investigation and issues the report. The engine explosion you described would not happen. The southwest flight is as bad as an engine can go.

The first part was very written... If a little drawn out... But the story jumped the shark around chapter 4 or 5...

-jaye-

I just stopped reading. It doesnt fit the story of your main character. Completely meaningless. I skimmed through the rest and I'm happy I didnt continue reading.

Half part was good. Second one was rubbish

After three pages I just can’t take any more. So far all I’ve gotten out of it is endless rambling. Yeah, there was a tremendous tragedy and there was terrible grief. I got that. But I just can’t do a minute by minute blow by blow of a “survivor”. Not my cuppa.

that I blush for the author. I understand he was trying to come up with a novel plot, but it's so outside the realm of anything that would ever happen that it almost seems like a parody. Imagine taking someone whose lost a cherished wife or husband, without the slightest warning, to a swingers party. How is that supposed to end well? Answer: it wouldn't.

This is a talented author, but the story is a dog.

What 5/27 anon said. I’m on pg 4 and I’ll try to finish it but the idea is just dumb. In reality he most likely would have lost his two friends over it

Looks like I read it back in the day and enjoyed it less then. Yeah I know they are fictional characters. The point of my weird comment was your story didn’t ring true with the characters you created. Swinging with a monogamist as grief therapy? Knowing the close couple friend of yours and your deceased wife wanted to fuck her when she was alive. A previously one woman man meeting his next wife at a swing party? Absurd.

Guess I should have known but I’d forgotten how this story ended. Author needs someone in his life to say no, that a stupid plot idea. Offensive really. Swinging is one thing. Swinging in this situation? No.

Planes don’t turn the way you describe

As a fan of your writing, I did not like this on my first read. I read it a second time, and although it is up to your high standards in writing I still just can't get invested in it. I just do not care for swinging and swapping, even when written by a favorite author.

enough nit picking. I enjoyed the story. I am a story fan. If the story has no content or subtext, I stop reading it. Been through Jonas' emotional rollercoaster myself and could appreciate the way you handled his character. Well done

Good, Sad story. I could never get into swinging...

How do I enumerate the ways this story offended me? Was it the way the two busybodies barged into his house and proceeded to tell him, a grown man, that they knew better than he did what he needed to make his life better? Yeah, that’s probably the first thing. And maybe it was dragging him to a swingers party, just knowing that a night of free unencumbered fucking would ease the pain in his heart. Yeah, that certainly didn’t make me care for the story much. Oh well, I just didn’t like the story. No more reasons or excuses.

A VERY GOOD STORY BUT IT WAS SAD, TO SAY THE LEAST. I'M NOT INTO THE SWAPPING WIVES THING, PER SAY, BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN. AS FAR AS THE INTERVENTION GOES, I THOUGHT THE METHOD, OF HIS FRIENDS CHUCK AND BARB, WAS OVER THE TOP. THEY BOTH KNEW JONAS AND AUGGIE WERE NOT INTO SWINGING. VERY IFFY THE VERY LEAST, AND THEY COULD HAVE LOST HIM AS A FRIEND IF IT WENT HELTER SKELTER.

The author can definitely paint word pictures that captures ones attention and keeps you wanting to read more of the story.

The only drawback, and it is a personal thing, is I believe as most men do swinging and sex with giving your wife away to others is nothing I could abide.

You are forgetting the American Airlines DC-10 flight that crashed in Sioux City. One of the most incredible feats of flying ever during a disaster even with the loss of life involved. The real time video is out there, unbelievable that anyone survived. There are still uncontained engine failures that happen but the engine housings have been reinforced cutting down the severity of the failures along with improved testing of the turbines. Something along the idea of improvements via autopsy.

Thankfully I never went through anything remotely like the loss in this story. I can attest to the near panic he went through trying to figure out all of logistics he would need to deal with for the children while being crushed by the emotions of the loss. I was a mid/late '20's father terrified of trying to deal with the custody of two daughters each a year younger than his. You do what he did, one day, one panic at a time the best you can. He and I had something in common; in-laws standing by our sides.

The feelings and emotions Jezzaz details are spot on, although I didn't buy into the swinging aspect in any way. "She "satisfied her curiosity," and I don't even want to think about what that might mean." If we didn't socialize with any of the people from that group anymore this wouldn't have been an issue with me as it happened before we were involved. But as they all pretty much stayed friends it would have been a serious issue, how could he not think about what that might mean? For me a lot would depend on how everyone who was involved handled it. Shit would hit the fan if anything didn't pass the spouse test down the road.

Something that really bothered me that I didn't see addressed anywhere was the fact she was a flight attendant. WTF? He didn't react to that fact after his wife died in a commercial flight? WTF, again? She goes on about where she flies and where she wants to fly and no reaction from him? How cruel to set him up with someone who would remind him that directly with his loss.

A couple of happy things I took from the story: Even though Auggie was a Texan she wasn't a DallasFuckingCowboy fan. And: "When I was yeet high to a sporal.." Where have I read 'yeet' before? Seems like the answer to that was in J's opening comments. Signed: BTW

not worth it...

If he still loved Author,he would have walked away from the first swingers party.Also why hadn't Chuck and Barb if they were swingers, not mentioned it to him and Auggie.

Sorry, but I stopped reading the moment it became clear they took him to a swap party. I don't respect people that do that type of recreation. He could still respect his dead wife by going on with his life, but not like that. Just a personal opinion. Others may like this story.

Pros - well written and credible portrayal of the entire family's grief. Cons - swinging as therapy in this situation requires too much suspension of disbelief. I could see that a positive swing group might help a person whose spouse divorced him/her regain confidence. However, this scenario doesn't work.

The story was well written but the thought of swingers party kind of put me off. The reason for this is that I consider having sex with someone is an incredibly intimate. I'm 78 and have been intimate with two woman in my life and married both of them. How someone can just hop in bed with almost a stranger is hard for me to fathom. Swinging would be un-imaginable. The story was well written and the justifications for the life style of swingers is only shared by a very small percentage of the population, at least I would like to think so.

Nice story. A look into a the results of a tragic loss.

Because this is the 'Loving Wives' group I thought that Auggie was either 1) having an affair with Chuck and/or Barb or 2) she had visited the Friday swing party on occasion.

Still, I did enjoy reading this story.

Thank-you

Pasqual

So unrealistic

"Our widowed friend is still grieving, let's get him out and take him to a swing party!" Retarded.

I found the swapping erotic reading, but in real life there’s no way I could handle that.

Once on vacation we were invited to another couple’s room—I thought for a drink.

It became apparent they had more in mind, & finding the very attractive other wife was taken

With me was a real turn on. But only for a second or two until it occurred to me that if I were to enjoy her he would be screwing my wife.

We left immediately after which I had to explain to my wife just what was about to be proposed.

Closest we ever came to swapping.

Bill

1 star - not my kind of story - I could never share.

Two distinct parts, indeed. The first part was very well written and went through the pathos very well. The author either went through it himself or had someone close to him go through it.

The second part was…..well…..it wasn’t at all my cup of tea. And I don’t think it was all that reasonable a scenario for a man still going through that kind of loss.

So the solution to overcoming the death of a beloved partner is to go to a swingers party, can’t remember that advice in grievance counselling.

The first part of this story was as well done a piece of writing as I have ever read on this site. It was clear this author or someone very close to him has experienced this level of loss before. Just excellent work.

I have spent a fair amount of time around psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors and sociologists. I'm pretty sure not one of them would ever go along with the idea of taking a man suffering from as much pain as Jonas was in due to the loss of his wife to a wife swapping party. I know this is Jezzaz's story. He gets to write it. But we also get to critique it.

Allow me to point out this observation. His wife's best friend and her husband are swingers. The best friend has been very close to wife since college. After wife passes away...her best friend makes statements like "I miss her too...more than you'll ever know." Then we find out that the best friend is bisexual (a real firecracker) and has no problem sharing? I'm sorry...but that DOES raise some suspicion as a reader. So cut us some slack.

You then have the friends...who I think do honestly care...talking to their swinger friends collectively about him and his problems. Remember there are about 10 couples (20 people) who are in the little group. And they all sort of collectively decide who gets in, and an exception was made for him as a single man. They told him that nobody was going to bring up his dead wife. So that means they had to have shared his loss. His frame of mind. His depression. His lack of any sexual motivations. WITH COMPLETE STRANGERS!

This is even more clear based on the conversation he had with the couple when he was basking in the afterglow smoking a cigar and drinking JW Blue Label. They knew all about him. And they just jumped right in justifying their lifestyle and telling him a good fucking of someone else's wife in his suicidal emotional state was just what the doctor ordered. Really? What the actual fuck?

And this did not piss him off? I was offended and I'm not even that emotionally invested. I'm not the author. And I'm not the character. But c'mon.

You want us to believe this guy (who actually was so depressed that he seriously contemplated suicide on a regular basis) is taken to a swapping party. He has no idea what's even going on until he's been there for a while. His friends do not fill him in until he sees them ready to fuck people they are not married to. He is so uncomfortable after they let him know that he retreats outside. After they tell him they actually thought it'd be good for him to fuck someone else's wife at the party? It'd be ok because he wouldn't fall in love...it'd just be an unemotional roll in the hay. This with a guy who has been a monogamist his entire adult life.

And that's the situation he finds himself in. Knowing he is sitting outside while 15 or 16 people are inside. And they all know he is depressed. "Needs his pipes cleaned out." And hasn't even been able to masturbate since his wife's death. And then what happens in the story? A professor of Psychology from a university (who would have to have some kind of an advanced degree and training) comes outside. Knows he is uncomfortable and struggling at this party. Yet she jumps right into the middle of his depression with her magic pussy and suddenly he is cured. And able to get hard and he gives her the rogering of her life?

I'm sorry. No fucking way.

No fucking way an educated and trained psychologist (even one that swings) would ever think that was a food idea to even attempt. No fucking way a believable person or character reacts the way he reacts to the whole set up. And no fucking way he ends up rocking her world the way its described here.

More believable would have been...he tells his wife's best friend "I cannot believe with all of my issues I am going through right now that you thought it would be good for me to come here and jump into bed with someone else's wife? I'm sorry. You really don't know me at all. Do you? I think I'll just call for an uber and go home." He then walks through the house. Out the front door. And waits for his ride home.

And then he probably avoids those friends in the future.

I have known swingers before. I have a buddy I went to high school with. He and his wife were into it for a little while years ago. I ignored it. And for the most part them. I had to interact with him because of my job occasionally. We lived in a small town. And I was friendly enough with him when I had to deal with him. He never talked to me about it. And I know he never talked with any of the other 5 or 6 guys from our group about it either. Because none of us would have ever gone along with it. He knew it. We knew it.

I thought about it in this way...making it personal. If I had lost a spouse tragically. And he and his wife tried to "help me" by taking me to a swingers party? Especially in the way described here? Surprising me this way? I'd have literally kicked his ass. No two ways about it. I'd have been offended that he talked with all those other assholes that I did not know. That he spread my business around. And I probably would have gone to jail for the beating I would have put on him at that party when I found out. I think that is a MUCH more likely outcome than the way this story played out.

Again. This author is one of my favorites. He gets to write his stories however he wants. The first part was absolutely amazing. The rest of the story line about the friends and the wife swapping parties. And meeting his 2nd wife at one of the parties? Was just too far removed from the MC in the first part of the story that it just became hard to actually read. Especially when he just describes his sexual adventures with the wives, and his dead wife's best friend in such a cavalier way. Like no big deal..."I fucked this wife while she was eating out this other wife....boy was that one a closet submissive..."

Wait...weren't you about to end yourself over losing YOUR wife a few weeks ago?

Sorry. You lost me there.

This was so neurotic I had to go use an Apple product for awhile to even get in the mindset. These people are not real, and do not reflect reality. Even more, the merging of guilt, paternalism, and lust comes across as just a shade less creepy than pedophilia and coprophagia.

The author did warn us it is and was a very dark story. I think any of us who experienced a loss through death or divorce of a family member hurt and we go into a kind of depressive, what now. We may even try to re-create what we did when we were single but find out that's not possible, things change. The way the story transgressed into a swingers get together was a bit much but that's what the author wrote. I personally could never indulge in that kind of behavior, call me uptight but some fantasies need to remain fantasies. As with our main character, when you meet the right someone you will know it.

2 stories in this submission, one is touching and desperately intensely touching, the second half is everything but. Not only was it totally unrealistic in terms of his reaction to the situation he was blindsided into, it showed a utter disregard for his safety and his privacy. Clearly all these ten couples had been briefed on his loss and grief and the consensus was that a swingers party would solve his depression and semi-suicidal condition. What utter rubbish. that professional sociologist / psychiatrist professors would act in this fashion is ludicrous. Sorry, you are a good writer but this wasn’t it.

I won’t comment on the second part of the story other than to say it was ridiculous.

The first part of the story was a 10. It was written so accurately that I have to think the author actually went through something like this or similar. That part was just an exceptional piece of writing and evoked comparisons of BigGuy33’s The Candyman.

rather long on the plane crash and anguish. I came away with the basic thought that he was being the typical Alfa male, enjoying the sharing until he found "the one" and then denying her the sharing parties after just 1 time. Then, having a late? 30's wife with 2 children of her bear HIM a child of "theirs" as if to "prove" his was the Alfa Male. Just couldn't be happy with a blended family of her 2 and his 2, just wouldn't be "manly" not to show his manliness

What everyone said. Two stories in one. The first part is brilliant; the second part seems taken from a different story. The same writer who wrote such an insightful description of losing someone thinks that part of the healing process is joining a swingers group who show no regard for your MC's feelings. Plain stupid and out of place.

I can see how some people could like part but not the rest of the story. I never experienced what Jonas did but like many, I did go through a divorce. In my case it was similar to a death and while I would not want to be 'tricked' into anything I eventually did gravitate on my own into less conventional relationships. From the start the women knew I would NOT be interested in marriage (didn't want to go there again). One woman took that as a challenge so she was dropped. My next girlfriend was married and (with her husbands knowledge) we had a 10 year relationship, ending in her death.

I enjoyed the tale, all of it. Thank you.

2 disjointed stories.

5 for the first & 2 for the second part

I settled for a 3 overall.

Could have been better if the author stuck to the first thread.

First parte Is good, the second parte i had to force myself to finish it

I liked it a lot.

A very good, sweet and painful story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Thank-you so much!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Cannot vote high enough

Good story

From the perspective of some one who has actually lost the love of his life to death, this story is utterly vile and repugnant.

Wow. That was a ride.

Lost my wife 18 months ago. I can and do relate to this story.

The stages of grief and recovery are different for everybody

That's very different. Well done

WAY too long.

I do understand the intent but the though by though detail was just too tedious.

For me, while a 5 for the idea. A 2 for for its presentation.

A good tale, but too sad for me.

Well a really good story until the sex party therapy for a bereaved spouse nonsense began. What rhe heck was Barb (and Chuck) thinking? The ending was somehow anticlimactic.

Sad, tragic, and loving.