Finding God

I screamed out, "Oh God...oh God...don't stop...don't stop..." He didn't stop; he pumped what seemed like an endless stream of sperm into me, but it did come to an end and I felt him relax.

I was weeping and wailing, "Oh my God...oh my God...it's so beautiful...don't stop...it's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me."

I knew now the things I had been missing, the things of which I had been deprived.

He didn't stop until I finally calmed down. We stayed for a long time, Hugo's penis still in me, and it had happened, I had found God, or he had found me. In the very act that Gordon had always been so suspicious of, I had found God, and he was beautiful. He was love, he was passion, he was orgasm, and he was fulfilment. Hugo was right, he had taken me to heaven without the need to die, but the odd thing was that at the height of my orgasm I could have died a happy woman.

Past experience with Gordon suggested that Hugo would now get off me, fart, and if not turn his back on me since we couldn't lay side my side on the narrow bed, he would leave me.

He did get off me but he didn't leave or fart. He said, "That was wonderful Felicity, do you feel less inhibited now?"

Gordon often preached that we must not yield to tempation, but I had yielded to Hugo. I had surrendered to him, letting go of the inhibitions that had been imposed on me and finally been open to Hugo. I had given up the narrow confines that I had believed constituted my life. I had experienced love in the sexual act, discovered a self I had never known existed and at last met with God.

I smiled and said, "Yes I do feel less inhibited, but I think I'd feel even less inhibited if we could do it again."

He took my hand and raised me up, smiled and said, "Then let's go over to the parsonage, take a shower and then we can do some more un-inhibiting."

We went out through the church and old Miss Kemp was praying at the altar rail. I wondered if the God she was praying to resembled the God I had met in the act of love with Hugo. I very much doubt it, for I knew hers to be a fierce God, a God who punished his creatures for doing the things he had created them to do.

She looked up at us and for a moment the old self reared its ugly head. I felt the guilt I had been told I should feel if and when I strayed from "the paths of righteousness," but the feeling quickly passed. What I had experienced with Hugo had been too profound.

We showered together, something that Gordon and I had obviously never done. It was wonderful; to touch and stroke each other's bodies as we washed. I was amazed that Hugo's penis could harden again so quickly and that my body was ready for him.

* * * * * * * *

We used my bed and although I had thought that I had experienced the most beautiful thing in my life and nothing could be more beautiful, I was wrong.

I need hardly say that Gordon had never practiced cunnilingus with me. I of course I had never given him fellatio; how could I when I never knew people did such things with each other? I did not even know the words and Hugo had to tell me.

Can you imagine my surprise when Hugo knelt between my thighs and then put my legs over his shoulders? I felt his fingers part the lips of my vulva. I looked down and saw his head move towards my genitals and his tongue began to lick me. I could have fainted from the sheer pleasure of it, it was so exquisite.

His tongue found my clitoris and it was then I became frantic. That trembling again took control of my body and I started to weep and scream as he brought me to orgasm. He started to suck my clitoris and I clutched his head to me begging him not to stop. His arms were round my thighs as he struggled to keep in contact with my convulsing body.

Then it was over, and we lay side by side, me gasping and Hugo's lower face wet with my sexual fluid. He had given me a wonderful orgasm but I wondered what I could do for him. I summoned up the courage to ask him, and he told me, but said I needn't do it if I didn't really want to.

I suppose I was a bit tentative at first, just licking the purple head of his penis, but deciding to do the thing properly I ended up taking I right into my mouth and sucking. Hugo groaned and said he'd warn me when he was going to ejaculate.

As I sucked I kept my eyes fixed on his face, watching the expressions of ecstasy flit across his face. It was wonderful to be able to give such pleasure to someone.

Suddenly he cried our, "Coming...I'm coming..." I took no notice because I wanted to find out what it was like to have a man's semen in my mouth. He must have realised my intention because he put his hands behind my head and started to thrust into my mouth, and then it happened. Thick warm salty sperm was being spurted into my mouth, as Hugo cried out, "Oh God, God, God..."

I tried to swallow his cum but it was too much for me, and when he had finished he took me in his arms and kissed me, tasting his own sperm.

I had never realised that people could be so uninhibited but there was more to come.

* * * * * * * *

There now began the most wonderful time in my life. Hugo and I became regular lovers. He constantly took me to paradise, but as he said, "We go there together my darling."

Often we used the first aid room for our assignations, but when Gordon was away at one of his conferences, we used the double bed.

We seemed to be sexually insatiable and I knew I was in love with Hugo, deeply in love. I had never considered my self to be beautiful, but Hugo kept telling me I am beautiful, and in a strange way I felt beautiful because he made me feel beautiful. Gradually my sexual inhibition faded, and if I needed proof of Hugo's love for me I received it one afternoon while we were using the bed.

We seemed to be extra passionate that afternoon and after he had ejaculated into me Hugo gave a deep sigh of contentment, he kissed my mouth, then raised himself to his knees and kissed each of my breasts in turn. Finally he kissed my vulva, and it seemed to me incredible. . The thought of him licking my genitals while it was still dripping with his semen and my love fluid almost drove me mad. I moved my hips to push against his lips and probing tongue and I came almost immediately, crying his name until the spasm passed.

It seemed to me an amazing act of love and afterwards we lay side by side in silence for a while, and then softly I said, "Why are you such a wonderful lover, Hugo?" He didn't answer because he was asleep. So I said, "I love you my darling, sleep well," and then I closed my eyes, knowing I was loved.

* * * * * * * *

Hugo had been appointed to the parish for twelve months, and for nine of those months he had been my lover. His time in the parish was coming to an end and there was no knowing where he would be after that. He had released me from my sexual inhibitions, but what was to become of me after he was gone? I probably had sufficient self-confidence to get my self another lover, but it was Hugo I wanted.

As usual it was Hugo who took the lead. One night when Gordon was once more away from home we had just finished making love and Hugo said, "Leave Gordon and marry me."

"I...I can't," I stammered. "If I left Gordon and divorced him it would ruin both your careers."

"Why?" Hugo asked mildly.

"The Church...divorce...its sinful...and...and..."

Hugo laughed and said, "My darling Felicity, you're still back in the dark ages, don't you realise how things have changed?"

"How...how have they changed?"

"There are any number of divorced and remarried clergy around these days. We're ordaining gays, male and female, and some are living in open relationships in their parishes."

He laughed again and said, "It wouldn't surprise me if some time in the future we don't have a lesbian Archbishop of Canterbury.

"You're joking Hugo," I protested, "Tell me you're joking."

"I am not," he said decisively. "You know your husband is as bad as you when it comes to keeping up with the twenty first century."

"What do you mean...what about Gordon...?"

"Felicity, haven't you realised, I feel so sorry for Gordon."

"Why, because we're lovers?"

"No...no, not that, you really haven't realised...? "

"Realised what Hugo?" I said, starting to feel irritated.

Hugo sighed and said, "I suppose I'd better tell you; he's gay."

"Gay...how do you know?"

Hugo smiled and said, "Because soon after I came here he tried it on with me."

I suppose I could understand that because, as I have said, Hugo is an extremely attractive man."

"Felicity," Hugo said, "haven't you ever wondered about all those conferences and things Gordon always seems to be going to?"

"What do you mean; seems to be going to?"

"Have you ever checked on those gatherings?"

"No, why should I?"

"Because if you had you might have learned that most of them never existed, he's been going to where he can get his sexual satisfactions."

I suppose I was out of date and still had some of the old inhibitions because I was aghast. If Hugo was right then I'd been sleeping with a homosexual for all those years, but at least it explained why Gordon was such a failure as a lover."

"Look," Hugo said, "you might as well face the fact that Gordon married you for reasons of respectability. The pity of it is that now he could have his gay lover living with him. If you leave him you'll be doing him a favour."

Hugo laughed again and went on, "You'll be helping him to get rid of some of his inhibitions."

Of course, poor Gordon was as much a victim of his superego as I had been of mine, and that had never occurred to me.

Hugo was sucking my nipples again and I was ready for another round of love making.

* * * * * * * *

I think Gordon was as relieved as I was to be freed from the "double harness." We divorced and he was transferred to another parish and with him went his lover he had met recently.

Hugo was ordained and we married, and no one seemed to question this. He had always taken me to heaven in the act of love, but it has been extra special lately because I've gone off the contraceptive pill. It seems that when you're trying for a pregnancy the feelings are even more intense, but I suppose that's how God intended them to be.