First Blush Ch. 04

He frequently told me he loved the job, which was great. We had lunch together almost every day, which was even greater.

We just finished watching the movie Dead Again, when Eli looked at me and said, "Would you like to come with me to Sukot?"

"Soo-what?"

"Sukot. It's the Jewish holiday celebrating the fall harvest. We have a ceremony outside, and dinner, and stuff. It's next Friday night."

"Sure," I said.

"My whole family will be there," he said casually.

Um, meet his whole family. Yowsa. I wasn't sure he meant it as casually as he said it.

"Okay," I said.

He smiled at me again, the gorgeous smile of his that's brighter than the sun. I'd do anything that will get him to smile like that. But I didn't say anything.

*

"What should I wear to this thing?" I asked. I had a pair of suit pants and a button down shirt in my hand.

Eli shook his head. "It's super casual. Jeans and a nice T-shirt, and bring a jacket or a sweater."

I know Eli's parents were at the wedding where I met him, but I didn't see them there. I had an urge to impress them, but I decided to wear what I usually do when I'm not teaching, a V-neck black T-shirt and black jeans. My whole wardrobe is black and white anyway. I like to keep it simple.

"You look great," Eli said.

"Not as good as you."

We arrived around 5 o'clock. The Sukot celebration was in a huge grassy field. To the right was the biggest tree I had ever seen, and near it were two square, I guess you'd call them huts, very large, that were three-sided, so that they were open in the front. There were about 30 people there.

Eli walked me over to a couple standing in front of the first hut, and introduced me to his parents, John and Annie. John looked like a bigger, stouter version of Eli. Same shade of hair, same nose, same strong jaw, but no freckles. I guessed this was pretty much what Eli would look like in thirty years.

Annie was petite and drop dead gorgeous. She had her hair in some kind of upsweep do, with tendrils hanging down framing her face. Because I can't tell colors, I couldn't tell if her hair was dark blonde, or I suspected strawberry blonde, or maybe even silvery grey.

"My other boys are over there playing Frisbee," Annie said, pointing. I saw to men who looked almost like carbon copies of Eli, and a teenager, who looked like a younger version of Eli, playing Ultimate Frisbee with about eight other people. "Why don't you boys join the game? We're not going to start for about another 30 minutes."

We started to walk over there and I saw my friend Dawn, Eli's cousin. It felt good to see a familiar face.

Dawn and Eli introduced me to Eli's brothers: Gideon, who they called Giddy, who was one year younger than Eli, Joshua, who was one year younger than Gideon, and Joe, who was 16. I could tell right away that there was something not quite right about Joe, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Let's play!" Joe shouted.

I nodded. Eli assigned me to Dawn's team and we were ready to go. I'm actually really good at Frisbee, and I was glad this was the first thing we were doing.

My team was ahead when Annie called us all to her. We all gathered in the first hut, which had a long table piled high with food. John opened a book and began singing prayers in Hebrew. At various points everyone joined in for a few sentences. Of course, I had no idea what they were saying, but it sounded nice.

Then Annie opened a book and read in English. "We thank the farmers, the fruit pickers, the truckers, the grocers. The dirt, the rain, the clouds, the seeds, the seasons, the cooks. We thank the bees that pollinate, and the animals that propagate." Then she looked straight at me. "We thank the stars, and the laws of physics that govern them."

"We thank the heavens above, the earth below, and everything in between for this fall bounty."

"Ah-ah-men," everyone sang.

Annie clapped her hands.

"All right everybody. Let's eat."

Annie crooked her finger at me. I came over and she dished up a plate for me, piled high with everything. "John made all this," she said gesturing to everything on the table. "Except the challah bread, I made that. And the corn, Dawn made that."

"Oh," I said. "Thank you."

Eli got himself two plates at once for himself and found us seats.

"What is all this stuff?" I whispered. He told me the names of everything and what was in it. It was all delicious. There was a dish with sweet potatoes and apples and raisins that I liked the best.

Gideon lived in Vancouver and was studying math. Joshua just came back from taking a year off to explore Israel. He was living with his parents and painting houses part-time. Joe was in high school, and loved Dungeons and Dragons, and just got a new computer. Joe's favorite food was meatballs.

"Eli's favorite food is everything," I said. That got a laugh.

After dinner we all sat and watched the sun set in silence. Then we all went to the other hut. We all laid down on the grass. The hut had almost no ceiling. It was just a few sparse branches with a few leaves and vines artfully draped across. I put my hands behind my head.

"Now we lay here and watch the stars come out, and just... you know, be grateful and appreciative of fall, and nature, and the stars," Eli said. He scooted closer to me and put his on my bent arm.

"You have a holiday where you watch and cherish the stars," I whispered.

"Pretty much," Eli said. "It's my favorite holiday." He was quiet for a few seconds. "And Tu'bish Vat. I like that one, too."

"Too Bish what?" I whispered.

"Tu'bish Vat," Eli said. "That's the holiday where we're thankful for the trees."

"I like your religion," I said.

"It has its moments."

"It sounds a lot like my religion."

Eli shrugged. "I think they're pretty much all the same, when you get down to the central core."

We were mostly silent, watching the stars come out. I pointed out facts I thought he might not know, like which stars are greater magnitude that star 6, and how much brighter all the visible stars are than our sun.

His brother Joe came over and laid his head on Eli's stomach.

After a while I could hear Joe snoring.

We all lay like that, looking at the night sky, and as much as I love space, and physics, it was clear that there were things just as precious right here in Earth, not even an inch away.

At about midnight, at some unheard signal, everyone began to get up. I thanked Annie and Joe for a wonderful evening.

Eli and I got back in the car and the grace and wonder of the day stayed with us.

"Baby, thanks for inviting me. That was a truly beautiful day."

"Does that mean we can celebrate nature by having Sukot sex when we get home?"

I gave him a wicked smile. "You bet."

*

I had a semester where I liked my classes more than usual. Maybe it was being in the start of a still somewhat new relationship, but it seemed like the months floated by in an euphoria where the universe conspired for goodness, and the stars were brighter. Pretty soon it was the last week of classes, and then finals week. Which meant starting Monday, winter break. Which meant more time with Eli. I was thinking of asking him to go away with me somewhere. Somewhere warm. I was dreaming about everywhere from Los Angeles to Caribbean islands when he called.

"Hey baby I—"

Eli was crying.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

He started sobbing harder.

"Eli, come on, tell me what's the matter?" I tried to be calm, but he sounded bad, very bad.

He tried to say something, but I couldn't understand him.

"Eli. Are you at home?"

"Ye-ye-yes."

"Okay, hold on, baby. I'll be right there. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right there."

I drove to put Vin Diesel to shame, whipping around the corners, and making the drive in half the time. I ran up to his apartment and banged on the door.

"Eli!"

He opened the door. His face was all blotchy. Tears were pouring.

I hugged him.

"What's wrong?"

That started a fresh bought of sobbing.

"ELI TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!"

I carried him to the couch. "Put your head between your knees," I said. "Breathe with me. Nice and slow. That's it. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Okay, baby, that's it."

I lifted his head so he was looking at me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

He took a deep breath. "Joe was in a car accident."

"Oh my God, is he okay?"

Eli nodded. Then he sort of shook his head, then he nodded again.

"He broke a rib, I guess when the air bag deployed? And he has a concusion. It's just when my dad called, and said he was in the hospital..." Eli hiccupped and had to stop talking.

"You were scared," I said.

He nodded.

"And then when you found out he was going to be okay, you were relieved."

Eli nodded again.

"I'm glad you called me, baby."

"It's sort of my fault."

I lowered my brows. The phrase 'What you talking about Willis' popped into my head. "How?"

"Well, I'm the one who convinced my parents it would be okay to let him learn how to drive. My mom thought it was a bad idea, that he wasn't old enough, you know, because of the Asperger's syndrome."

I nodded.

"But I said..."

He started to hiccup again.

"I said..." he had to take some deep breaths. "It's not like it's going to change, so you should let him drive now, and I kind of pushed my parents into it. Oh, God."

Eli let out a wail as a fresh sob wracked his body. I pulled him into my arms. "Listen to me. This is not your fault. Not. Your. Fault. A car accident can happen to anybody. The important thing is that he's okay."

"And now I'm breaking down in front of you, and crying like a wuss."

"Oh, baby." I stroked the back of his head. He stopped crying but then the hiccups started to come fast and furious and wouldn't stop.

"Do you want me to get a wet washcloth for your face?" I asked.

"Hic—yeah."

"Okay." I got him a wet washcloth, and an aspirin, and a glass of water.

"Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?"

He nodded. "I'm in no, hic, shape to drive."

"Eli, I'm glad you called me. It's okay that you're crying. I don't mind driving you. Come on. Look around and see if you need anything before you lock up and let's go."

Eli's parents were in Joe's room when we got to the hospital. Joe looked pretty pathetic, with his head and ribs bandaged, and his face bruised.

"Eli!" he said in a loud, high voice. "They let me have ice cream and Jello here, as much as I want. The ice cream was great, but the Jello was yucky. Did you bring me a present? I got hurt. It was my fault."

Eli went over to hold his hand.

"Hi, Greg," Joe said.

"Hey, Sport," I said.

"I didn't bring you a present," Eli said.

"They're going to hold him here until tomorrow," Eli's mom said.

"What would you like?" Eli asked.

"Pokeman cards!" Joe yelled.

I furrowed my eyebrows. That seemed weird to me for a sixteen-year-old. "Hey, Joe, why don't I run out and get you some while you visit with Eli? They can be a present from your brother, I'll just go get them."

"Great!" Joe yelled.

Thank you, Eli mouthed at me.

No problem. I was glad to do something. I asked everyone else if they needed anything, but no one did, so I went off to find a Wal-mart or a Toys R Us. After Eli crying, and Joe in the hospital I wanted a stiff drink, but if I got into a car accident that would be two accidents, so that seemed like a really bad idea. Instead I found a Target, got the cards for Joe, and some magazines I thought John and Annie would like and a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter cups for Eli. Life was short, you never knew what would happen, but I could count on my man to be hungry.

*

It was only two days after that that Eli called me crying again. My first thought was that Joe took a turn for the worse.

"No, that's not it," Eli said. "Can I come over?"

"Of course baby. Are you okay to drive?"

He sniffed. "Yeah," he said.

Oh shit. I wondered what could be wrong. I tidied my place a little bit while I was waiting, putting the dishes into the dishwasher, and hanging up the clean laundry, and wiping off the bathroom sink.

Then he was at my door. My beautiful man, with his eyes all swollen and his face all blotchy. I took him in my arms.

"Tell me, baby," I said. "Whatever it is, we'll get through it."

I led him straight into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed. He handed me a letter. I scanned it quickly.

"What?" I said out loud to myself.

"Yup."

He was being laid off, effective immediately.

"Holy shit," I said.

"Yeah, I know."

I read the letter again. Funding cut, tax shift, priority, blah, blah. Fuck.

Shit.

"I just..." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I really loved that job."

"We'll find you another job," I said. "Maybe I can—"

He held up his hand to cut me off.

I hugged him, pressing his face into my neck, and rocking him back and forth. Having this happen so soon after Joe's accident really sucked. It was like a one-two punch.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I said.

"These things happen," he said. "I'm okay, it was just a surprise. They didn't even have the decency to tell me, I found out through the mail."

"Move in with me," I said.

"What?" he pulled away from the hug and looked at me like I was crazy. "It will give you time to not worry about expenses while you look for another job. This way if you don't find anything until summer semester, or fall semester, you won't have to worry about anything."

He pulled back from me another few inches.

"You spend half your time here anyway."

He shook his head.

"Listen Eli, it's logical. We don't need two households when we could have just one. I have plenty of room. You already have a drawer here, I'll just give you a dresser."

He frowned.

"I can get a job at a Kinkos or something. If money gets really tight I can move back in with my parents."

Now I frowned. "You'd rather live with your parents than live with me?"

He just looked down. Then I got it. I'm an idiot.

I took his hand. I traced my finger over his palm, and then I turned his hand over and kissed his knuckles.

"Don't move in with me because you lost your job. Move in with me because more than anything else in the world, I want you to."

He didn't look up, but I could see that he was smiling.

"At first all I wanted to do was introduce you to sex," I said.

"Great sex," Eli said. He finally looked at me.

"And then I wanted to introduce you to romance."

He smiled.

"Then I wanted to introduce you to..." I didn't know what word to say next. I stroked his cheek.

"Caring?"

"Yeah."

"Now let me, us, take all those things, to living together. Let me introduce you to day-by-day together life. With farting, and rushing around, and making love early on Tuesday when you hadn't planned on it."

He was silent.

"I really want this Eli. I want you. Just you. I should have asked you earlier."

He looked down again. I tilted his chin up.

"I love you," I said.

His eyes opened wide.

"I should have said it before."

"I knew," Eli said. "You showed me. I just didn't think you were going to say it."

I kissed his cheek. "Well, I should have."

"I love you, too."

"I know, Blushes."

"I didn't want to say it first, and freak you out."

I laughed. "Good call."

"Move in with me."

Still he hesitated.

"God damn it. Don't move in with me because you're out of a job. Move in with me because we're supposed to be together."

He smiled that brilliant smile, the one that makes all the planets align.

"Okay."

"And marry me," I said.

"Fuck no," he said.

My eyes bugged out of my head.

"Just kidding," he said.

"Serves me right," I said.

I took my class ring off my finger and got down on one knee. "Eli, please marry me. I'll buy you diamonds and rubies if you say yes, and even if you don't. I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to have children with you. I can't see colors, but my life is completely colorful with you, and would be colorless without you." I kissed the top of his foot. "Marry me, baby," I whispered.

"Yes," he said.

"Hooray!" I jumped up, grabbed him, and swung him around.

"Can we have celebration sex now?" he asked.

"Hell yeah," I said. I slipped the ring on his finger he smiled. "And every day from now on, too."

# # #

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