All Comments on 'First Love, Second Love'

Finish the story yourself. I don't think too much of collaborative efforts like these.

Boyd

Author - we like the start & context of the story line. We relucantly suggest you inquire upon the "professional commentators, like - the idiot "Alvaron53" for his optimal story line [since he has publish so many, "not"]. Good luck with the endeavor. Of course, the "idiots" sidekick [Tigger Too] might provide a "lame excuse" of a suitable plot line for this continuation of this story.

It would be dull if they just have sex and then all is fine. I suggest they have sex once at first, then get together for another round of sex, she gets a bit drunk and the sex is filmed and put on the internet. During the sex on film she will proclaim her love to carl, stating that he is better than her husband and that she is his to do with what he wants, just as long as her husband doesnt know. As i sign of love at the same time she has Carls name tattoed just above her cunt, saying 'Carl's bitch' Obviously this can't be hidden form her husband, who ends up divorcing her. If You can't look forward and leave the past behind, you must face the consequences that can't be any different.

You ask for contributions, but if you go that far, you might as well have submitted this in the "Chain Stories" category. However, it seems you don't want others to pick the story up from where you left it. If you weren't able to see this tale through complete fruition, you should at least open it up to other writers to continue. I don't know if I'll stick around until November to read your conclusion.

don't stick your finger in the air to see how the wind blows, finish with your own ideas.

Sorry, moron, I don't conclude other people's stories for them. That's like finishing someone else's half-eaten meal. It's not something I do but I bet you would, wouldn't you? Of course, you'd need talent to do that. Since you have none, you do the only thing you can do: bitch and whine about other people.

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I still don't know why you haven't made it over to Ruthie's Club to read my stories like I told you to do but then again, understanding the English language evidently isn't your strong suit. You'd rather whine and complain about other people than learn the truth. Tell you what: you keep yanking your pud in public, and we'll keep enjoying the entertainment.

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With respect to BlBones' story, I generally don't comment on unfinished works. It seems an okay start but that's all it is.

happily married she should say no,if she is not she should ask for a divorce and ask for nothing from the settlement that is not her real entitlement(i.e don't try to bankrupt her husband)After the divorce she can then concentrate on destroying Carl's marriage and ruining his childrens lives.She could remember the phrase "what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive"

Easy. If she wants to play, she should get a divorce FIRST.

written a very good story of a woman who lost her love, moved on, and formed a good marriage and career. Her love of when she was immature shows up and her fantasy images of sex with this person invades her mind. Instead of acting like a mature married person she begins to react as an immature young girl. Both of them are married, both will be breaking their marriage vows. All of her putting him off earlier showed a young woman with good morals and ethics. Her posing in tasteful nudes but not porn again shows a woman with morals and ethics. What she proposed to her exboyfriend, there is no other description available, is unethical and immoral. If she really wants to have sex with Carl she needs to do one of two things. She should talk it over with Cary and request permission to have sex with Carl, an unlikely situation since he did not like her arrangement working with him, or ask for a divorce first then pursue her own pleasure without the ocnfinement and controls of a marriage. Should she have sex with Carl without doing one of those things she just becomes another cheating adulterous slut wife betraying herself, her marriage, and her husband. A lying cheating slut without morals or ethics, put simply a piece of trash. You painted a picture of a woman who was more mature and upright than this with fantasies. What a shame to ruin a wonderful woman just to appeal to a same group of persons who find such women appealing. Carl at least spoke of some ethics but wants a piece of her without limits and outside of any emotional commitment, in other words he is just a user. You are trapping yourself in story by creating two persons without any real ethics or morals.

sorry I dont get it. Is this a a fantasy vs reality thing?

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unlike some I am NOT against the occasional Chain story or a good premise where the author says "what happens now?"--- something like Troubador's highly succesful HOW HIGH A PRICE....

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But as the premise in THIS story is set up I dont get

"IT". <b>FIRST the impact of her dreams.</b> Not enough is done in the premise here to show the IMPACT these dreams are having on the wife. LOTS of pople have dreams about ex- boyfriends girlfriends or ex-spouses and sometimes they run into those very people.

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<b>SECOND the wife's moral character.</b> She COULD of had sex with CARL before he left but she said NO and she said it at a young age --college-- when everyone's Hormones typically are raging. That speaks of high moral character.

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Now SUDDENLY the wife is asking or suggesting they fuck. The question comes out of the blue... Juts one evening she says to CARL... hey lets fuck.

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I dont get that switch. Even if CARL were to change his mind or say IF the wife changes her mind when she realizes what she has asked / done it is too late.

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<b>Thus it seems to me this any "solution" to this story has to have a Fantasy vs Reality angle. </b>

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CARL loves his wife? Really? Carl's wife is seriously hurt and bed-ridden so he decides to fuck around? Not my form of love.

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Also what about CARY? Now that his wife is more concerned about the Fantasy His Marriage is over. No man can ever win that sort of competition.

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<b> How could she risk shitting all over her 5 year son future so much ? </b>

Have the rules/vows changed since I got married 13years ago I recall saying the bit about TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS perhaps things have changed.If they haven't changed then BOTH people in this story should think about what that means it does not mean I have a fantasy about my ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend I cant shake it so I'm just going to get it out of my system and not worry about anybody else. I MIGHT be wrong but this seems to be the premis for this story. As for ending it my end to the story would be for the husband to go to the studio and catch them just after you ended the story BEFORE any actual sex has taken place and I know some people would want him to have a gun or baseball bat but in my view he didn't know what was going on even if might have suspected so more likely he turns up with a bunch of flowers or a gift of some sort see's whats going on says somthing like "SORRY TO INTERUPT BUT THESE ARE FOR YOU MY LOVING WIFE" in a very calm but sarcastic voice chucks them at the wife then walks away leaving the wife to think about what she has done or was going to do.Then it really is up to the wife to choose what she wants sex with CARL or an ex-husband if she has sex with CARL dont let the husband stand by and accept it from the many stories and comments on this site it seems that many writers let that happen but this is just MY opinion but I dont think that should be the case the here.

Sorry if this makes no sense i'm not an Author.

GW66

Have the rules/vows changed since I got married 13years ago I recall saying the bit about TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS perhaps things have changed.If they haven't changed then BOTH people in this story should think about what that means it does not mean I have a fantasy about my ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend I cant shake it so I'm just going to get it out of my system and not worry about anybody else. I MIGHT be wrong but this seems to be the premis for this story. As for ending it my end to the story would be for the husband to go to the studio and catch them just after you ended the story BEFORE any actual sex has taken place and I know some people would want him to have a gun or baseball bat but in my view he didn't know what was going on even if might have suspected so more likely he turns up with a bunch of flowers or a gift of some sort see's whats going on says somthing like "SORRY TO INTERUPT BUT THESE ARE FOR YOU MY LOVING WIFE" in a very calm but sarcastic voice chucks them at the wife then walks away leaving the wife to think about what she has done or was going to do.Then it really is up to the wife to choose what she wants sex with CARL or an ex-husband if she has sex with CARL dont let the husband stand by and accept it from the many stories and comments on this site it seems that many writers let that happen but this is just MY opinion but I dont think that should be the case the here.

Sorry if this makes no sense i'm not an Author.

GW66

Interesting but compromising as the foundation is perplexingly at odds.<P>

She's not a ho but now married with a child and for no tangibly stated reason[s] she decides to 180 & cuck her family? The foundation doesn't support that unless drugs or embolism have changed her. <P>

So while the premise isn't a bad thing the setting appears contrived and pointed towards a nonsensical path from a somewhat solid foundation. Perplexing huh.<P>

A web needs to have a plausible path out or the circles become ragged and non-entangling - unless it's just a stroke - which doesn't fit your portfolio - so far. I hope it doesn't for I have enjoyed your growth in the emotional arena of marital consequence.<P>

Twill be interesting to see how and if you can bring this home with some plausibility. Something new for you is not a bad thing in and of itself but 180's attack story flow and credibility.

With Regard

She has a choice. The right thing to do would be to stay faithful and while that can be a good story, it would be hard to be engaging. Smart money says that she will cheat on her husband and the affair will continue until she is caught and her husband divorces her. She will continue to have an affair with Carl and he will string her along for years until she realizes that he won't divorce his wife. With her career as an internet model and her social life in shambles she will turn to a series of men and women who use her for sex. Bitter, angry and broke, she will become a prostitute and become additced to drugs where she will die an early death alone and unwanted. Of course, that's just one version. Good luck writing your own.

She has a choice. The right thing to do would be to stay faithful and while that can be a good story, it would be hard to be engaging. Smart money says that she will cheat on her husband and the affair will continue until she is caught and her husband divorces her. She will continue to have an affair with Carl and he will string her along for years until she realizes that he won't divorce his wife. With her career as an internet model and her social life in shambles she will turn to a series of men and women who use her for sex. Bitter, angry and broke, she will become a prostitute and become additced to drugs where she will die an early death alone and unwanted. Of course, that's just one version. Good luck writing your own.

Predictably she fucks Carl & gets it out of her system. She never mentions it to hubby. About half the readers (myself included) lambaste you for writing a slut/whore story. OR she admits her infidelity (or gets caught) and with much tears & psycho-babble Carey forgives her, and about half the readers (myself included) lambaste you for writing a slut/whore/wimp story. OR Carey doesn't forgive her and kicks her to the curb, about three fourths of the readers (myself included) give you a higher score and write nice comments about what a great "no-wimps" author you are. If she moves in with Carl (now divorced because of his affair) and lives happily ever after, it is a less than satisfactory outcome, because the slut & her lover find each other & happiness. They win! Bad ending, bad scores, bad feelings for the readers. The authors gender, sexuality, and sanity are called into question. However, if Carey doesn't forgive her and kicks her to the curb, PLUS you throw in some good revenge, causing her to live a miserable existence of remorse and celibacy (or promiscuity/debauchery) about ninety percent of the readers (myself included) give you highest score and write nice comments about what a great "no-wimps" author you are, and zed0 will compliment you on a happy ending, which we all know he loves. (p.s. it doesn’t count if she keeps her legs together for a couple of days, weeks, months, years, and hubby caves and takes her back. However it is okay for hubby to keep her around as a fuck buddy).

I guess the thing is that there is no such thing as meeting a woman who has either been married before of had a lover early in life that she can never forget. The man, like myself, preferes to stay clear and just get his loving where ever he can with out the emotional tieups. What is with women that they dream of former lovers. I had a wife once that woke from a dream and saw me lying in bed next to her and screamed out loud and tried to push me out of bed. Later she said that she had dreamed of a former lover and when she awoke she saw me there and before she became awake enough to realize who I was, she reacted. Our marriage lasted a few more months till I realized that she would never forget the guy. I wasn't really jealouse about him, just wanted her to realize that she was supposed to be in love with me. I never got that feeling after that and I finally told her to go find him and live with him. She cried and said that he was now married. I said then if she couldn't take him away from his wife and family then he must not want her badly. She made her bed so I told her to sleep in it. The same is with the model wife, if she dreams about the guy so much that they cause her bother in life then she should leave Gary and be with Carl. She could leave the kid with Gary as he would certainly be a problem with her newly rediscovered love. If she fucks Carl then she is a cheating wife no matter what. Carl know that she is married now and only wants a peice of tail. Gary may not be jealouse but he should voice his concerns in a definate way to carl. Like " LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE". She is so typical of women today. They are filled with so much crap about what's right and what's wrong that they are pitiful excuses of what they should be.

<i>She is so typical of women today. They are filled with so much crap about what's right and what's wrong that they are pitiful excuses of what they should be.</i><br><br>

Wow, bitter much? Listen, we've all been there probably. Had a bad experience or two with love, and suddenly the entire opposite sex are jerks. I've heard women express the very same thought about men today. And I've been disappointed time and again, thinking that men should be stronger and more capable than many of them are. It's just the nature of things.

You should have written an independent parody of the loving wives genre; wait, what you did was a bit more complicated - you wrote a sociological parody of readers‘ responding to the stories in the loving wives genre. The fact that I laughed so much makes me quite sure that you hit the nail on its head. The formula works both ways: from the author's side and from the readers’ side - we all know what we are getting ourselves into. Your own self deprecating attitude and honesty also helped in making your point.

There is no excuse for her "Adulterous Actions". If we take note, she know what she was going to do long before it happened, but she was able to rationalize why she stayed bhind at the office, in violation of company policy. If she get past this, then the die is cast, she will do it again, and again possibly. Respect for her Family, her lovers Family, and herself is gone. Her Husband should find out about her deed and "Divorce Her". No revenge, No punishment. Just move on.To forgive do not mean that she will not sufer the consequences of her action.

she ends up fucking him i hope she ends up with aids ....she knows better than t oeven stay in the same room ...if she betrays her hubby and nothing happens from whatthey do ...i hope hubby finds out and helps her drive over a 50 foot cliff ...the nhe can find a nice wife to help him raise his beautiful son....of which if she does fuck ex bf she wont deserve ...as a hubby i wouldnt be able to get past this with out her dying and probably him also ...does she really want to be a cheating slut ...or a cheating slut that has no family ....ge ther the fuck away from him ...if nothing else let him have a heart attack and let us find he he has a weak heart which gives him an attack when he sees her pretty feet..just dont let her cheat on hubby unless shes prepared to die

You've already set up her character! Is she now realistically, in line w/ how you've outlined her for her to do another 180 turn & remember she's married w/ family; to remember her wedding vows, to forsake all others. That would be my suggestion, but hey, everyone knows that I hate cheating, sleazy ho slut wives, who deserve nothing more than to be kicked to the curb, and hopefully, w/ any luck at all, spend some amount of time in remorse for what they had and whored away.

An ethical person keeps promises, especially to spouses and families, regardless of temptations. Choosing to be a worth-while ethical person is not always easy or convenient, but this is one of the few persons when there is a clearly right and wrong choice

Betrayal in any organization or grouping have never been accepted. In the spying world of James Bond, the traitor will be assasinated. Even in the animal kingdom, the one that fail to tow the line, will be alienated. However, human lives in a world of contradiction. Rules on marriage yet often in a moment of weakness, all the rules books were thrown out of the window. So what is the intended message? The joy of the flesh and the consequences or the law of righteousness. Of course being in the loving wives section should help you to see the ending clearly.

"withou thinking , I mentioned my dream last night",This is said after she violates rules against people staying late without company. Who would want to finish a story about a woman that dumb.

the Ct. Yankee

I think you have made an excellent start. In my opinion, the “loving wives” category gives an author greater scope for character development, for the exploration of moral or ethical situations, and for emotional tragedy than any of the other categories in Literotica. Those other categories can be content with endlessly boring depictions of sexual acts; “loving wives” implies, I think, a multi-dimensional story, deep emotional anguish, and a moral message,

The relationships of Cary, Carl, and Shelly can take many forms, mostly triangular and tragic. Cary and Shelly can decide not to do it, but Carl believes they did and suffers mentally as a supposed cuckold. Cary and Shelly do it and Carl does not find out, but Shelly suffers great guilt that affects her marriage.

Carl and Shelly do it and Cary finds out: Carl then, after a period of great mental anguish, accepts the fact and out of love for Shelly maintains their marriage. Or, Carl can’t tolerate the fact of Shelly’s infidelity and after enormous emotional distress -- shared also by Shelly -- ends the marriage (and perhaps takes his own life).

The potential is great; creativity is possible; delight us!

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And while this was an original idea asking for us readers to finish your story you must have known that you would mostly attract the evangelicals and their moronic comments. I especially enjoyed the one comment that tried to incorporate James Bond into his comment on how humans should resist the temptations of the flesh. Yes my idiotic friend the bad guy always gets it in the Bond movies, yet not before James gets it on as if he is in a Roman orgy. I mean that was one horrible example you tried to wheel out big guy.

As for your story Bibones you can have your girl get it on with her former lover one time and then have her end it right there as a nostalgic mistake, you can have her get close to having sex with him and then have her back off or you can have her fall into an affair with Carl and go from there. Still what you definitely need to do is develop your charactors some more. Everyone in the story is a blob of putty so far, no good traits or bad traits influencing decisions and actions. Is your girl a whore or a good girl? Posing for lingerie shots would suggest the patter. Is Carl a good guy or a lecherous villian? All we know is that he has come back into her life. Having to move away from her in college couldn't be considered a villianous act so we still don't know. How about the husband? is he a cuckold or one of those revenge guys?

While I think that you had an original idea here and I applaud it I feel each writer should make his own story because it's more fun for you and for us readers we get a good look at your inner thoughts and soul.

I'm not evagelist nor moral moron, but I don't like the idea of a very unsure soul fall for a guy that cheated on her. However, I think that it's responsability of the author the develop of the story, anyway you are not going to please all.

this story can go. Obviously, for Shelly based upon her musings martial fidelity is not a high priority nor is Cary a true love. Cary is truly second to Carl. But what is going on in Carl's head? Do he really think that he can make it up to Shelly by filming their fuck? Do Shelly think that fucking Carl will rid her of her dreams of him? Typically, models are not known for their brainpower or moral virtue so Cary has to know that having Carl on the scene is not good. I would like to see his version of these events and how their son is affected or not. >>>>>>>>>>>>

The fact that a spouse cheats on his partner is not interesting. Anyone these days can cheat but what is interesting is how that action affect relationships? Do Shelly fuck Carl and then realize that she can not live without him? Do Shelly fuck Carl and then realize that Carl is just an asshole trying to get in her panties? Do Carl secretly film their fuck and then uses it to try to make her his slut? As I said this story has so many possibilities but you are the author and it is your call!

"To those of you with nothing but negative comments and personal attacks...."

Translation: you recognize what you wrote as crap, you see that others recognize it as well, but you're trying to avoid it by going on the offense early. Just about as convincing as the story, but here's a thought; use talent to write a story that more than just a few pervs will like and watch the negative comments magically disappear. Writing crap just to piss others off is not "challenging" them or forcing them to think, it's just being an asshole, so grow the hell up already.

There are two story lines I would use if I were a good writer and not just a commenter. 1st: They come to their senses and put their lost love behind them because they both have good marriages and love their spouses. Making that a good engaging story will be the most difficult. 2nd: Allow them to consume their passion and fall deeper in love again. Thus creating all the pain, heartache and the ruination of two marriages that will bring. This story will of course be the standard story where you hopefully will explore the emotions of at least three of the four spouses, maybe all four. The consequences of their adulterous love and whether or not there is any reconciliation possible is of course up to the author depending on how bad or good you portray each character and/or their actions. I like either ending depending on how well you do it. I never like it when the wife is portrayed as the cheap, gangbanging slut that so many authors like to paint women to make the husband look like a saint! Cheating is a natural occurrence for both sexes and should be made as realistic as it is! She is a model and a beauty and has to be constantly sought after sexually. She loved him prior to her husband and meets the vision of her perfect man both then and now. It is really quite obvious what will occur. Just not the consequences! I did not meet the deadline so I will see how the second part went now...

But once I met my future and still wife I knew that I could never go back. She should get dressed, go home and stay faithful to her husband.

Now both are about to cheat on their spouses. I hate cheaters. Where does this go? We'll see...

That Cary castrate Carl, and sell Shelly to Berserkistan brothel.

WTF?? If this is the best you can write then get a job at Target!!!

Surely it is well known; IF YOU CAŃ’T FINISH THE DAMN STORY DON’T POST IT!!!