All Comments on 'First Semester Finals'

But you really need to get an editor. There were many errors (in pronouns, tenses and more) which a good editing would have caught.

-Rei

Good story. Deserves a sequel when they go to visit his family

Ooh look, another grammar cop.Can't you just read a story without looking for things wrong with it.I swear it seem that a lot of you think that you're reading a professional writing.Is it perfect,no. Does it need to be,Hell no.Just read it for the story and get over yourselves.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. Looking forward to the next installment.

Surreal! ^_^

the story is simply beautiful...

Looking forward to next instalment

Beautiful story from start to hilarious finish. Should have included the grades :-)

I'll bet he got an "A" in chemistry after all.

Make sure it's a 410 shotgun with rock salt. Good story and appropriate for the season. Well done and enjoyable. Cheers!

Thanks for sharing.

A good, well-paced, well-told story.

I look forward to reading what happened when she went to his family. . . .

73

HP

Great story. Great beginning,middle and end. I also am looking to the next installment.

Its good to see you back, hope the next much work its quicker in getting here. But this was worth the wait so it really doesn't matter.

I enjoyed the story, but you really do need an editor and you get your 'then' and 'than' wrong every time. Every time you used THEN it should have been THAN, same with THAN, it should have been THEN, lots of wrong words, missing words and grammar and punctuation, call me a grammar nazi I don't care, comments about your errors are meant to help.

Sweet christmas story... Enjoyed it. But please please complete mom's bed before everything else!

with some hot sex in the middle...actually i must commend you on not including anal sex into their lovemaking.

GOOD JOB!!!

I loved the family interplay. well done.

If a person is willing to take the time to write and post a story for millions to see and read, what is wrong with having enough pride in their work to have it be as good as possible? Why post, especially in a contest, a less than contest ready entry? And, it is not you, responding anonymously, who should be offended by constructive criticism meant to help someone else. A very good story could have been even better with the aid of one of the volunteer editors on this site. A small amount of proof reading, a second person with a fresh set of eyes, could make a substantial difference.

I totally agree. I loved the story, but it could have been rather better with, as was commented on earlier, a fresh set of eyes, because most of the errors are small and easy to fix. I would really look forward to a continuation.

I commented on a story once that, no matter how good the plot and the narrative, it always jarred if the spelling and grammar weren't up to scratch. That's one of the reasons why I volunteer as an editor here - hopefully I catch all of this before it goes to print!

Hi,

Thanks for the new story.

Awesome story hopefully you come up with a sequel.

Excellent story. A few editorial issues, but who's perfect. Thanks for sharing.

That was a really good story.

I know it wasn't intended to be a comedy but this wonderful story had me in stitches much of the time.

There are not enough stars in the ratings to do this story justice.

I really enjoyed this story from beginning to end.

It is a very nice story with some editorial issues but it's okay.

But please I request you on everyone's behalf that please do complete your stories.

You've written too many stories but most of your work is unfinished.

Call me sucker for this but we want to read the endings of your stories.

Please do work on them.

WOW writer! THAT is ROMANCE!!!

I'm not sure I agree with other comments. Sure an editor would help some, but not much. This story CAN stand alone without another chapter/s. How would the Peyton Place of relationships help this story as it stands? It's a short story as intended! A novel would be very nice, but IT'S a short story romance as it should be with the rest of the story left to YOUR imagination. An epilog would be nice sometimes, but it would eliminate YOUR imagination of true love...

This is a great point to end the story.

For those of you asking Joe D to finish his stories, I recall him mentioning in the feedback of another story that he had suffered a catastrophic hard drive failure in 2011 - 2012. He lost all of his unpublished or incomplete work at that time. One can only imagine the effort to try to rewrite months or years of work.

Thank you Joe!

Great storytelling, wonderful characters to care about, exciting sex and surprising humor. Five stars. This is my first time reading your product, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I look forward to reading about more adventures of Bethany and William.

A fine story could turn into a great series!

Really enjoyed this tale. One of the best so far but lots to read yet😀

Your writing has definitely improved over time, hopefully by now you've found an editor you can work with.

It did need a sequel or at least an epilog. I think an epilog would be the best way, but a story would prove you as a writer.

I hope that this author comes back and writes some more of this story. I would love to hear of the couple's experiences when they meet his family.

. . . but please don't consider spell check a worthy substitute for a good editor.

I really like your story telling, but you could use fewer words. It seems you are writing for people who have to hear things twice before understanding.

I read it every once in a while just to feel good. It is a true stand alone story and needs no second chapter, but an epilog would be very nice. An epilog to be really great would probably take more skill than the story it's self. I think you just might be able to do it, maybe.

It's a shame the Author hasn't a clue of the difference between THEN and THAN. HEY go back to the third grade. Get an editor, your a wonderful writer of many of my favorite stories...

Please don’t criticize others choice of words until you know the difference between

your and you’re. This author’s storytelling far outshines his understanding of correct grammar.

A sequel of when Will introduces Bethany to his family would be wonderful, is this something you'd consider?

You just owe it to Will and Bethany to let them tell us the next chapter of their lives.

5*s

detroitdave

Social disease bothered me, but english is not my mother language. As it was used twice it may have been intentional.

This is a loving warm little story and as many other's I'd love a sequel.

I'm currently reading through a lot of your stories... again...

You do good work!

This definitely needs another chapter or two

What happened to meeting his family or for that matter, the rest of the story!!!

So they just meet, have a roll in the hay and they start using the L word all in the same night. Just doesn’t make sense.

I really missed not having her meet his family. I was definitely looking forward to her conversation with the bother who thoight Will was gay! Also her coversation with Will's mother!!

One of my all time favorite stories that I have read many times. I go back and read it again when I need to feel good again.

Not your usual Christmas story

However, I think it is one of the funniest and embarrassing stories, I've read. Thanks for posting it.

JD, I find myself reading this story each Christmas. It always brings a smile.

I return for re-read it from time to time.

I would love to see more to this couple

Great story. I would have loved to see the reaction from his family.

Beat xmas ever

Loved it 5/5, thanks!

good story way to short for my likeing but still a five

Did he pass chemistry?

Needed another chapter about the girl meeting his family. Good story as is.

I agree with all those below with one caveat, the NEXT meeting would have been better for the sleepover :-).

Great story. I wish there was more.

Definitely needs chapter 2, 3, 4, 5, ..... great read!

Loved it, but it's so deserving a couple sequels. Thank you!

I'll say it again, great read and a happy ending... still needs more chapters.

What a wonderful read. It warms you

Just perfect

Hilarious. I would expect they would have a long and happy relationship. Thank you. 5*

Another truly wonderful story!!!!!!!

Too bad we can't vote 10 stars. This is easily one of the best stories around.