Fish Tacos

"Dear Flower Child."

He intentionally changed the word, certain the hidden-but-intended meaning would go right over her pointy little head.

"Thank you for your sanctimonious pity, but you couldn't be more wrong. You see, my wife and I never once disagreed about how to raise a child or concerning our role in their lives. Unlike you, we knew we were the PARENTS. That meant that WE were responsible for establishing boundaries and enforcing them. We believed that and practiced it because we LOVED our child. And for your information, my child and I are also best friends, even though I expect her to live by a set of very reasonable, common-sense rules.

But I wouldn't expect someone like you, who's so open minded her brains have fallen out, to understand what common sense means let alone recognize it or put it to use in raising a child!

Don't bother replying, because I'm tired of beating my head against a brick wall that calls itself the Flower Girl!

Signed,

Good Cop-Bad Cop"

He hit send then closed his laptop and sat there trying to decide what to do. It was only 9 o'clock and he didn't get tired until after eleven so he thought he'd try watching a little TV and maybe zone out.

Doctor Thad Nelson was in his third year of private practice as a pediatrician in Auburn, Washington, after completing his three-year residency at a children's hospital in Seattle. He knew the 'big three-oh' was coming, but it had snuck up on him, and had Sophie not given him the card, it might have passed him by relatively unnoticed.

Had it really been ten years ago that he and Sarah said "I do" after having been high school sweethearts since their freshman year? Obviously it had as he was indeed now 30 years old. Sarah's 30th would have come in another two weeks, and that thought alone was enough to make him tear up again as he thought about her and how beautiful she was and how happy she'd made him.

Sometimes, life was just downright unfair, as it rolled along plucking out its endless quota of deaths from among the living. Sarah had been feeling badly for a few days, but because she was working part-time and busy raising Sophie while Thad was doing his residency, she hadn't said anything. She just kept slogging it out until the following day a mild headache grew worse and worse until he pain was so bad she'd had to have someone take her to the hospital.

A CAT scan revealed the large and rapidly-growing tumor in her brain, and when Thad saw the image he understood what it meant. Because it was wrapped around the pituitary gland, it was inoperable. And because it was a very aggressive, fast-growing form of cancer, it meant Sarah would soon lose the ability to see, to talk, or to even care for herself.

He told her he'd take as much time off as she needed, but he knew she wouldn't stand for it.

"We both know I have a matter of days left where I'll still be me. I'm okay with you spending those with me, but you have to promise me you won't quit. You finish your residency—on time. Then you and Sophie go on with your lives. Promise me."

And that was the first time he'd cried since elementary school, and now, here again, it was another 'girl beating him up' causing it.

"I promise," he told her as he tried desperately to hold back the tears to no avail.

He'd held her close and could still hear her say as they hugged one another, "No one could have ever made me more happy than you and our daughter. Never forget that."

He nodded but didn't speak.

"And promise me you'll give Sophie structure and boundaries. You and I needed that growing up. So will she."

Thad nodded again then his beloved wife said, "And promise me you'll find someone to love; someone who'll love our daughter as much as we do."

He could barely breathe let alone talk, and he wanted to tell her the last thing he ever wanted was someone else. But she wouldn't turn let him go until he agreed so somehow he managed to whisper, "I...I promise," not sure he ever could.

A week later she fell into a coma, and four days after that she was gone.

*****

"Doctor Nelson? We have a no-show for our noon appointment," his office manager said a week later during mid-May when the weather was unusually nice.

"You know what? I haven't been to the park in forever and it's so nice outside, I think I'm gonna head over there and grab lunch."

The young woman made a face and said, "Fish tacos?"

"They are so good, Bonnie!"

"Yuck. But if you say so..."

"I'll be back before my one o'clock."

"Okay, just please—do not bring me a fish taco. Did I say 'yuck'?"

He laughed before leaving the office and walking the quarter mile to the park. Days like this fairly rare even at this time of year, and he wasn't going to miss the chance to stretch his legs and grab a couple of his favorite tacos from his favorite vendor.

As he got closer he could tell nothing had changed at "Flaco's Tacos". Not even the owner's smile.

"Flaco!" he said cheerfully to the very thin man inside the booth. 'Flaco' was Spanish for thin or skinny, and the nickname had stuck his entire life and still fit.

"Doctor Nelson! Long time no see. How've you been?"

"You know. Busy with work and raising Sophie."

"Lemme guess. Two fish tacos, right?"

"Yes, indeed," the doctor replied. "And a bottle of water, too, please."

He paid for his food then turned around and noticed every bench was full.

"Oh, great," he said to himself as he moved closer to the seating area.

It appeared that with one exception, there were couples taking up each of the benches so he walked over to the one where just one person was sitting by herself and smiled.

"Any chance I could maybe take this end of the bench?"

"Oh, sure!" the woman said just before taking a bite of her chicken taco.

"Thanks," he said as he sat down. "I can't ever remember it being this crowded except during the summer, and May definitely isn't summer around here."

The woman smiled a beautiful smile and said, "I know. May is usually pretty chilly. I wanted to get out while the sun was shining, but with so many other people having the same idea, I thought I might not be able to sit here and eat lunch. Then this bench opened up almost as soon as I thought that so I grabbed it."

She smiled at him again then said, "So I'm happy to share."

"Tacos?" he asked about her lunch as he reached for one of his.

She was in the middle of a bite and held up a finger letting him know she heard his question.

When she finished chewing she said, "Sorry. Yes. I love Flaco's tacos."

She gave him a funny look to see if he'd react to the silly rhyme and when he did she laughed with him.

"Flaco's a great guy. I've been buying his...wares...for a couple of years now," Thad said avoiding the rhyme.

"Make that ten for me," she said before taking another bite.

She looked over and saw the color of the wrappers on his food and with a kind of 'ick' face asked, "Are those...fish?"

"Oh, yeah. They are by far my favorite!" he told her before taking a large, first bite.

He pushed the food to one side of his mouth and said, "Delicious!"

"I don't think I could do that," she told him before taking a much smaller bite of her own.

He chomped and chewed then swallowed and said, "If you're brave enough to try one, you can have a bite of mine."

She looked at him then down at the yellow wrapper that indicated fish and said, "No, thanks. I think I'll pass."

"Tell you what," he said unwilling to let her 'win'. "If you try it and don't like it, your next lunch at Flaco's is on me."

"I've never seen you out here before, so how do I know you'd pay up?" she said, surprised that she found herself enjoying chatting with a stranger who also happened to be a man. Yes, he was a very attractive man, but he was still a man, and men were on her 'do not call' list. Or something like that.

"I'll leave the money with Flaco. Or...we could agree to meet here again and have lunch together."

"You're kidding, right?" Fallon said before taking another small bite and wondering if all men were the same.

"No. Why would I be kidding? I made an offer. You expressed doubt about my ability to follow through, and I'm giving you a foolproof guarantee," he told her as though this was a very serious issue while clearly be being playful.

His easygoing manner made her smile and had she not been eating, she would have laughed.

"As long as we're just calling it a 'business arrangement' I could probably live with that," she said smiling at him but covering her mouth just in case a piece of chicken was stuck in her teeth.

"Great," he told her. "Oh, I'm Thad, by the way."

"Tad?" she asked not having heard clearly.

"No. Thad. With an 'h'," he explained. That was something he'd done fairly often for as long as he could remember as Thad wasn't exactly a common name.

"Fallon," she told him.

"Oh, like the Navy base in Nevada," he said immediately.

She surprised him when she said, "Yes. Exactly like that. In fact, I was born there back when it was called Naval Auxiliary Air Station Fallon. It didn't get the name Fallon Naval Air Station until 19..."

She realized she was about to give away her age and stopped.

"Until after that," she said, finishing her sentence without giving him any clues.

"I wouldn't have asked your age," he said with another smile. "I'm a little sensitive about that topic myself as of late."

Fallon turned, pulled her head and shoulders back, her eyes wide open, indicating she couldn't wait to hear why and said, "You? Really?"

"Yes. Really. I just turned 30 and it kind of snuck up on me."

Fallon sat there and shook her head.

"Oh, to be 30 again."

She waited a second then said, "Or...40."

Now Thad used the same body language to express his surprise.

"No. You're not over 40. Please don't even try and tell me that," he said with complete seriousness.

Fallon laughed in a way that was nearly a cackle causing her to cover her mouth again when several people turned to look.

"Sorry! I just couldn't help it. That was one of the lamest lines I've ever heard!" she said, her mouth still covered.

"It wasn't a line," Thad replied. "I was being serious."

He reached across his body and grabbed the empty wrapper with his left hand. When he did, Fallon saw the large, gold wedding band then felt silly, but only until she realized he might still be hitting on her. Then she felt momentarily sad when she realized an attractive man that young, married or not, would never hit on her, and she briefly felt every one of her 51 years.

"I didn't realize you were married," she said somewhat apologetically. "I guess I just assumed you were, you know..."

"A cad?" he suggested. "Who was shamelessly hitting on you?"

Now she really felt terrible.

"No. Not at all," she said trying to pretend that wasn't what she was thinking.

"I'm really very sorry, Thad. I just haven't had the best of experiences where men are concerned the last few years. Besides, guys your age don't...come on...to women my age, but sometimes I forget how old I am and..."

"Fallon? You are a very beautiful woman regardless of your age. And for a woman who's over 40, you're one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. So the next time you think the date of birth on your drivers license makes you old, try seeing what I and everyone else see, okay?"

For the first time since before the divorce, Fallon's defenses came down with a man. Then again, he wasn't a possible 'threat' as someone who might ask her out, so that made it that much easier to find him pleasant and easy to talk to.

She pointed to the remaining fish taco he was getting ready to unwrap and said, "If the offer still stands, I think I've worked up the nerve to take a bite. A really, really small bite."

Her smile moved him figuratively and literally as he slid over then carefully folded back the top of the wrapper. Rather than handing her the taco, he held it up for her to bite while holding his other hand below it.

Fallon grabbed a napkin and before taking a bite said, "Just in case I can't get through one small bite."

Thad offered her the side so she couldn't just eat the corner which was mostly tortilla.

She gingerly put her teeth on it then bit in as she closed her eyes. A small piece fell into his hand, and as she pulled back and chewed, her eyes were all squinted up as though she were eating a piece of raw liver.

As she chewed, her eyes relaxed and after a couple of seconds she said, "Oh, my gosh. That is so good!"

"See. Told ya!" Thad said.

He saw her glance down at the fish taco and said, "You want another bite, don't you?"

"Maybe just one more?" she said as she kind of scrunched up her shoulders.

He handed it to her and said, "I'll be right back."

He ordered another one from Flaco who'd been watching them.

"She's a beautiful woman, Doc."

"Yeah. She really is, huh. Do you know her?"

"Just her first name and that she owns a flower shop nearby."

He bent down indicating he wanted to say something quietly.

"She went through some kind of really bad divorce or something several years back. I felt bad for her, you know? She's such a nice lady. I'm really surprised she hasn't remarried by now because she's so hot. I mean, if I was in her league, I'd have already given it a go."

"Oh. Wow. Gee, I'm...I'm sorry to hear that," Thad said absentmindedly.

"The divorce part, of course," he added once he realized he wasn't paying attention too well but was rather thinking about just how attractive she was.

He hadn't bothered to look to see if she was wearing a wedding ring, but then again, he rarely ever did as dating wasn't something he was interested in yet and didn't know if he ever would be again.

He paid for the replacement taco and thanked his friend.

When he returned, another woman was sitting where'd he'd been and Fallon pointed to the free space right next to her.

"She asked if she could share the bench, and knowing how we both felt about not being able to find a place to sit..."

"No. I'm glad you did," he said as he plopped back down next to her. "I mean, it really is crowded out here today."

"A sunny day this time of year will do that around here," she said with a pleasant smile.

'Her' fish taco was nearly half gone so Thad dove in and took another man-sized bite of his new one then caught up to her with the next bite.

When he finished chewing it, he said, "I believe I owe you lunch."

She held up the half-eaten fish taco and said, "I believe you do!"

"Did you really like it?" he asked.

Fallon laughed then asked Thad if he was trying to find a way to lose the bet, but before he could answer she told him, "I did. I'm still surprised because I don't care for anything that smells or tastes 'fishy'. But this just tastes...good."

They both laughed before she took one more small bite and wrapped up the rest.

"I'm going to have to finish this later," she told him. "I'm afraid my eyes are almost always bigger than my stomach."

"Ah, okay. So that's why you're in such great shape," he told her with a smile of his own.

"Oh. Well, thank you. I do try. I'm guessing you take care of yourself, too."

He didn't appear to be overly 'bulked up', something Fallon didn't find all that attractive, but he was very clearly athletic looking.

"I try, too. I love to swim and go as often as I can."

"Seriously? Me, too. Well, I do yoga or aerobics most of the time, but I try and swim twice a week, time permitting."

"Where do you go?" he asked.

"I go to the high school where my son is a senior and on the swim team. Or he was before the season ended. I've known his coach for...well, for a long time, and I know the principal quite well, too."

"I go to the 'Y'," he said meaning the local YMCA.

She was putting things away as she said, "I guess we won't be bumping into one another in the water anytime soon then, will we?"

"No. I don't suspect we will," he said quietly. "Are you leaving already?"

"I am. I have to get back to the shop. It's just me and another girl who works for me, and she needs to go to lunch, too."

"Flaco told me you own a flower shop. Is it the one on Auburn Way North?" he asked.

"No. Mine is on 1st Street a block that way from here," she said pointing east.

"Oh. Okay. I know where that is. Could I maybe you walk you back?" he asked without warning.

"Oh. I don't know, Thad. I mean, I enjoyed talking with you—and the fish taco. I...I'm just not sure that's such a good idea."

"Well, okay. It's just such a nice day, and I enjoyed talking with you, too."

Fallon glanced over at him and again realized he was a very good-looking young man who was also very nicely dressed. He was clearly intelligent and polite. But he was married, and the last thing she needed was anyone seeing him with her or her with him.

"Thad?"

"Yes?"

"I really appreciate the offer of having lunch with you sometime, but...well, you are married, and even if it's just lunch, I...I don't think that would be such a good idea. Not that you're interested in me—like that—of course. It's just that I...well, let's just say my ex-husband was having a lot of...lunches...with my former best friend and business partner."

She paused for a second then said, "Who's now his wife."

"Oh, my goodness. Fallon, I'm so sorry. That's...that's awful. And it's also...well, it's downright disgusting."

"Thank you for being so understanding, Thad. You seem like a very nice young man—and I have to admit you're also very handsome. Were you single and were I...under 40...I'd love to have lunch with you. But you're not and I'm not so..."

She could tell he wanted to say something else and she was silently hoping he didn't destroy what little faith he'd restored in her where men were concerned by asking her out in spite of being a married man.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked in a kind way.

"No. Not at all. It's just that..."

He felt his eyes watering up again and for the first time, hated himself for doing it it public no less.

He turned and blinked several times before turning back to face her.

"My wife. Sarah. She um...she passed away a couple of years ago. So I wasn't hitting on you when I..."

"Oh, my God! Thad, I am so sorry," she said immediately and with complete sincerity. "I feel like such an idiot. Can you please forgive me?"

His misty eyes weren't lost on her and now she felt genuinely terrible even though she had no way of knowing.

"It's okay, Fallon. It's completely understandable. You're a beautiful, single woman, and I'm sure guys hit on you all the time. And with the way your ex-husband treated you, I totally understand why thinking a married man is hitting on you would disgust you."

"Thad? Could we maybe start over?" Fallon, touched by his kindness and sincerity, asked sweetly.

Thad had to reach up and clear his eyes even though he was deeply embarrassed. He did so then forced a smile and said, "I'd like that."

"Me, too. And thank you," she said. "For the fish taco and for giving me a chance to redeem myself after assuming you really were...a cad."

"Thad the cad, right?" he teased.

"Well, we have Flaco's tacos so..."

Both of them laughed at the lame attempt at humor before Fallon said, "Even though I won, and you owe me lunch..."

She paused and waited for him to laugh then said, "I really would enjoy having lunch with you sometime. As long as it's just lunch."

"No. Sure. Just lunch. And it doesn't have to be here, and it doesn't have to be fish tacos," he said deciding to press his luck.

"Tell you what. If the offer is still good, you could walk me back to the shop, and we can talk about that on they way," she said with a smile now feeling much better about whatever was going on between them.