Fish Tacos

As he did they both heard a quiet-but-audible 'yes!' from Sophie who was sitting on the steps and watching just as she'd done many times before.

"I thought you were going to brush your teeth and read, young lady?" her dad said in mock sternness.

She giggled again then disappeared up the steps.

"Thad? Can we talk?" Fallon said.

"Uh-oh. Those three little words are never good."

"No. It's not like that," she said.

"Okay."

He paused the movie again and Fallon gently let go of his hand.

"I...I really like you, Thad," she began.

"But?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"No, it's not like that, either," she told him.

"You and I," Fallon said. "We're two very different people, I think."

"How so?" Thad asked.

"Well, first of all, there's our ages. I haven't told you mine, but it's...bigger than any number we've mentioned so far."

"I don't care," Thad said. "Next?"

"No. You can't just dismiss it like that. You just turned 30 and I..."

"Fallon, no number is going to 'scare' me or make me stop liking you or wanting to be with you," he told her.

"What if that number is...over 50?" she said with a kind of wince.

"Nope. Next?"

"Thad. I'm 51 years old. That means I could go to a bar and legally drink when you were born!"

"Uh-huh. So? Is there a point? Well, one that matters anyway?" he asked with a smile.

He took her hand and said, "I'm not even phased let alone bothered by that. So if that's all there is..."

"No. That's not all," she said as she kind of pulled back.

"Okay. I'm listening," Thad said.

"Daddy! I'm ready!" Sophie called out.

"That was a fast 15 minutes," Fallon said.

"Hmmm," was all Thad 'said' in reply.

"Come on," he said with a smile as he stood up and offered her a hand.

She hesitated but put hers in his as he helped her up.

"But we still need to talk, okay?" she told him.

Sophie's room was all little girl and very cute and nicely decorated.

"I love your room!" Fallon said as soon as they walked in.

"Thank you. My mommy painted it and did all the decorations."

Fallon saw a photo of a very attractive woman posing with a younger-looking Sophie.

"Your mother was very beautiful," she said as she admired the picture.

"You are, too," Sophie said surprising her.

"Well, again I thank you, but your mom was so pretty..."

She looked at Thad then said, "And young."

"Well, the British man fell in love with the younger woman in the movie," Sophie reminded her. "They didn't care about that."

Fallon sat next to her on the bed and said, "Are you sure you're really eight and not...thirty-eight?"

Sophie giggled loudly then told Fallon, "That's impossible. I'd be older than my daddy!"

"Like me, right?" she said sweetly.

"Are you 38?" Sophie asked innocently.

"Well, I used to be," Fallon told her.

"But that was a couple of years ago, honey," her father said.

Fallon smiled then said, "I'll let your daddy tuck you in, okay?"

"Night, Miss Fallon," she said offering her tiny little arms.

Fallon hugged her and told her goodnight, too.

"I'll wait for you downstairs," she said quietly to Thad.

Once she was gone, Thad asked, "Okay. What's going on with you?"

Sophie smiled then said, "I just want you to be happy again, Daddy."

"I am happy. I have you, sweetie," he told her as he sat beside her.

"But you can't marry me," she informed him.

He tried not to laugh then said, "Well, okay. That's true."

He looked at her then said, "But Fallon and I are just friends, okay?"

"But that's where every love story begins, right, Daddy?" she asked having become convinced that was true.

"Well, yes. I suppose that's right."

"So...you start out as friends then fall in love, and then you get married!"

"How did you get so smart?" her dad asked.

"Um...by reading!" she announced.

"Come here, sweetie pie," he said as he hugged her tight.

"I love you, Daddy!" she told him.

"I love you, too, Sophie Wophie."

When he stepped outside of her room, Fallon was there.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just couldn't force myself to stop listening. Sophie is perhaps the smartest child I've ever met."

Thad smiled before he said, "She's been that way for as long as I can remember. She seems to just intuitively understand things. Well, things she's been exposed to anyway."

"She understands more about love than a lot of adults," Fallon said as they walked downstairs.

"If so, you understand what that implies, right?" Thad said with a smile.

Fallon laughed quietly and nodded.

"I do. It means wedding bells are in our future."

"Does that sound so terrible?" Thad asked but not as a serious question.

"I suppose that depends," she told him.

"Are we back to the place we left off before we went upstairs?"

"I think so," she said.

"And where were we?" he asked sincerely.

"I guess I'm just wondering if you really think having so many rules for Sophie is something essential."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I don't see how we can learn to either become functioning members of society or succeed in business or life's endeavors without learning to follow rules."

"I think my son has turned out to be an incredibly mature, responsible young adult and I don't set any boundaries for him. He doesn't lie, cheat, or steal, and he's a very good student and he has a loving, caring heart," Fallon explained.

"So your son has never had to do anything? Ever? You've always just let him do what he wants when he wants without consequence?"

Thad's question was gentle and kind and nothing but a question, but Fallon took it as a challenge to her parenting style.

"No. You're using hyperbole to make a point, Thad. I didn't say he's never, ever had rules," she said with an edge.

"So is it possible it was the exposure to whatever limits he once had that account for his having internalized their importance?" he asked very quietly.

"You're taking what I said out of context!" she said, her voice rising along with her blood pressure.

"I'm just trying to understand, Fallon. I'm not criticizing. I'm only trying to figure out what you mean."

"You remind me of someone on my blog," she said, the edge still very much there.

"You're blog?" he asked wondering...what if.

"Yes. My blog. I've had an online blog for several years now. Most of my followers agree with my thoughts on parenting, but there's this one...jerk...who's all about rules and..."

Thad seemed to be watching the pieces fall together right in front of him as her identity became clear.

"Is your blog called 'The Stone Cold Truth' by any chance?" he asked, his voice sounding almost hollow.

"Yes. How do you..."

She stared at him then said, "Oh, my God. Are you...Good Cop-Bad Cop?"

Thad tilted his head and smiled a wry smile and admitted that he was.

"Um, yes. That would be me," he told her.

"Oh, my God!" Fallon said again. "I can't believe this! I thought you were so kind and caring, and you turn out to be this...this...horrible person!"

Thad's eyes opened wide in disbelief as he said, "I'm horrible?"

"Well, no. I mean...yes! Okay, maybe you're not horrible, but your rigid, inflexible rules are horrible!"

Very calmly and quietly Thad said, "Society depends on having individuals who follow rules, Fallon. From paying our taxes to following traffic...rules...the only way to have an orderly society is to well, follow the rules."

"But rules are so...restrictive! They stifle creativity and inculcate black-and-white thinking," she insisted.

"I think Sophie's doing pretty well for someone raised to follow rules," he said as nicely as he could.

Fallon wanted to come back with something to refute his claim, but having seen how sweet and loving Sophie was there wasn't anything to say. She sat there looking at Thad, and now that she knew who he was, she wanted to hate him. But having gotten to know him she couldn't. And having seen the way Sophie carried herself she couldn't argue that having rules had been harmful.

"Fallon? What's really going on here?" Thad asked very gently. "It seems like there's some deeper issue, and it feels like you're taking it out on me."

She was so confused and upset she was having trouble thinking.

"I think I should probably leave," was all she could come up with.

"I wish you wouldn't," Thad said. "I'd very much like you stay."

"It's...it's getting late," she told him even though it was still very early.

"All right. If that's what you'd like."

As they stood by the front door Fallon found it hard to look at him and she wasn't speaking.

"I hope you won't let this destroy the good thing we had going," Thad finally said.

Fallon didn't reply so he told her, "I really like you, Fallon. I haven't met anyone since Sarah died who even interested me. Until I met you. And you not only interest me, I...I find myself thinking about you all the time and wanting to be with you. So I truly hope we can work through this because..."

Fallon felt like she was about to cry. She wasn't angry any longer, she was just so confused by the mixed emotions her brain was sending her that it was frustrating her to the point of tears. She, too, really liked this handsome, younger man. She even believed him when he told her the age difference didn't matter, and that made it much less important to her. But to find out he was the same person raking her over the coals for believing children were more 'free spirits' than 'lumps of clay' needing to be molded hurt her deeply.

"I...I need to go, Thad," she told him.

"Okay. I understand," he said quietly. "I'm glad you came over, and I really hope I can see you again."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," she said as he opened the door for her.

She thanked him for dinner and told him again how amazing Sophie was before saying 'goodnight' and walking away.

Thad stood there trying to understand what went wrong and why this particular issue was so important to her, but he drew a blank no matter how he looked at it.

He went back to the living room where the DVD player had turned itself off. It was just as well as he was no longer in the mood for anything romantic. He turned the television on and let some action movie run in the background as he continued to try and see Fallon's point of view to no avail.

Around midnight he gave up having examined the problem from every possible angle. He concluded it was simply an unanswerable question and that it was up to Fallon to decide if she could tolerate his views on parenting.

His final thoughts before falling asleep were that it might possibly be for the best. Perhaps this was nothing more than a kind of 'awakening' relationship that would prime the pump for others and eventually lead to him finding a new wife.

And yet, even saying those words out loud sounded like some kind of betrayal of Sarah's love.

Then again, he had promised he would find someone and he had to admit that Fallon was the kind of woman he would love to be with even though she clearly didn't feel the same about him.

Both Thad and Fallon either stewed or chewed over the events of Saturday night without solving or resolving anything. Sophie wanted to know when Fallon was coming back, and her father had had to explain to her that it was very possible she might not ever come back. Fallon didn't discuss the evening with anyone, but Beth was waiting for her on Monday morning when she got to work.

"Hey there!" Beth said much too cheerfully for her boss's ears. "So...how did it go?"

"Don't ask," Fallon said coldly.

"Now you know that's not going to happen," Beth replied undeterred by Fallon's comment.

Her boss knew that was true, and a part of her needed to get this off her chest so she said, "Guess who Thad really is?"

"Um...a serial killer?" Beth guessed having no idea.

"No. It's worse," Fallon told her.

"He's not...married, is he?" she asked.

"What? No! He's not married."

"Then I give up. Just tell me!"

Fallon drew a deep breath thens said, "He's 'Good Cop-Bad Cop'!"

"Thad? He's 'Cop'? Are you serious?"

"Oh, yes. I'm very serious!"

"Are you sure? I mean, did you actually ask him that?"

Fallon told her the entire story from how excited she'd been before going over to Thad's to how wonderful Sophie was to dinner and the movie before getting to the 'rest of the story'.

Beth sat quietly and listened without interrupting. She was listened while Fallon stood and talked. Once Fallon had let it all out, Beth finally offered her opinion.

"May I say something?" Beth said politely, something very rare for her.

"Like I could stop you," Fallon said trying to be humorous after having teared up as she talked.

"I'm not the smartest person around," Beth began.

She saw Fallon tilt her head in that 'no, kidding' kind of way but just kept going.

"I didn't go to college like you. I mean, I barely graduated from high school. But...I do know things about people."

Fallon had to admit that Beth was like a sort of adult version of Sophie in at least that one area.

"Okay. I'll grant you that," Fallon said.

"Well, here's what I think."

Beth spent the next several minutes explaining her point of view. Fallon had tried to argue with her and kept challenging her statements, but she knew Beth was right. Admitting it was the hard part. No admitting it to herself was hard, admitting it to Thad would be the hardest part.

It took her most of the day to do the first part and it didn't happen without a fight. And even then she was too prideful and too stubborn to admit it to Thad. Instead, she decided to share her feelings with her readers as a way of helping her mentally work through it.

That night she wrote,

"Dear Friends,

It's been a few days since I last shared my thoughts with you and that's because I met someone. You know, the person I said was 'no big deal' and that it wasn't romantic, yada, yada, yada? Yeah, that person.

Well, as it turns out, and you may not believe this, but that person is none other than 'Good Cop-Bad Cop!' No, I'm not kidding!"

Without going into personal details she explained how they met in the park then later had lunch and finally dinner at his house and their disagreement over parenting styles.

"But today, my able assistant, who is also a very good friend of mine even though I don't often show it, put things in perspective for me. She asked me to consider the possibility that what really bothers me about having rules isn't the rules themselves, but the way it reminds me of my marriage. My...failed marriage.

I have to admit I was pretty upset when she first ran that by me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. Until the betrayal, I was very happy in my marriage and in way we were raising our son. We had rules. LOTS of rules. And I enforced them as much as my ex-husband. When I found out he'd been cheating on me with my former best friend, I wanted to jettison everything that reminded me of him, and his penchant for rules and 'good order and discipline' was one of the first things I tossed.

My assistant—no, my...friend—helped me see that my son had lived with rules for 12 years and that he turned out so well in spite of my overly permissive style rather than because of it.

Admitting this hasn't been easy. Sharing it with you wasn't, either, but it has been cathartic. Now I have to find the inner strength to admit to someone else how wrong I was, and that is not going to be easy or fun.

Rules, in and of themselves, aren't bad. In fact, they're essential. I suppose I was mainly objecting to having to face the truth that something my ex-husband did was a good thing, and if you'd lived in my shoes (sorry for the mixed metaphor) you'd understand.

As long as the rules are administered fairly and with love, with the welfare of the child coming first and foremost, then there's not only nothing wrong with that, it's a very important part of raising a child that can well, take his or her place in society. (Someone very smart and someone I care about very much once told me that.)

So I guess I'm going to have to eat some crow, and I know that's not going to be easy. But when you're wrong you're wrong. This is just basic parenting. I guess you could call it 'Parenting 101', a class I passed by sheer luck. And because I've found myself more attracted to this person more than anyone else I've ever met, I hope I have the strength to do the right thing. And I also hope he'll somehow be able to forgive me for being such a...jerk.

I'm not sure when or if I'll be back. I suppose a lot of that depends on what this amazing person decides. I guess I can commit to at least one more blog in which I let you know how things turned out.

Sign me,

Red-Faced with Fingers Crossed in Auburn"

Fallon reread what she'd written, took a deep breath, then hit 'send'.

The following morning Sophie asked her father if he'd talked to Fallon yet, and he told her he hadn't.

"What if she wants to talk to you but she's afraid?" Sophie asked as she ate a bowl of cereal.

"It's really up to her now, honey," her dad told her.

"But don't you like her?" she asked in that innocent way only a child can ask.

He not only liked her, he thought he might have even deeper feelings for her before this disagreement arose.

"I do, Soph. I really do like her," he admitted.

"Well, aren't the boys the ones who are supposed to ask out the girls?"

"That's how it used to be, anyway," he replied.

"Then shouldn't you be the one to go talk to her and tell her you like her?" she asked.

Thad smiled then said, "Hey, I think you really are 38!"

Sophie giggled and said, "I really like her, too, Daddy."

"Out of the mouth of babes," he said quietly.

"What does that mean?" Sophie asked having heard it.

"It means...you're a genius," he told her.

As soon as he dropped her off at school, he pulled the car over and got out his tablet and found the flower shop's online site. He ordered a dozen red roses to be be delivered to the shop with a card that read:

"Dearest Fallon,

I'm not sure what happened, but I am sure how I feel about you. I can't stop thinking about you or wanting to be with you, and I can't accept that one disagreement has to be the end of our relationship. Please accept these flowers as my way of saying how much I care about you and want you in my life."

He thought for a moment then added, "Love, Thad."

He pulled out his credit card, entered the necessary information, then hit 'send' before heading to the clinic.

Beth saw the order as soon as she booted up the shop's computer and shouted out, "Yes!" to the empty room as she put the order together.

She took the liberty of putting them in a vase and also adding some helium balloons. One of them said, "I love you!" on it and she hoped it wouldn't be too much or end up backfiring on her.

She finished just as Fallon arrived who saw it immediately.

"Who's the lucky person?"

"Why don't you read the card?" Beth said with a smile.

"Because it's none of my business," Fallon told her. "It's between the sender and receiver."

"Well...what if you're the receiver?"

"What?" Fallon asked as she made a face before walking over to the vase.

"Go ahead. It's for you," Beth told her as she watched her boss's face.

Fallon glanced at her then down at the card which had her name on it.

Her heart began beating faster as she pulled out the card and started reading.

"Oh, my goodness," Fallon said as she read his words.

Beth saw her eyes filling with tears and said, "I can handle the shop if you want to go see him."

"I...I can't do that. He's at work," Fallon said as she tried to dry her eyes with her wrist.

"Can you afford not to go?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"You don't mind if I leave?" Fallon asked after a moment of silent contemplation.