All Comments on 'Five Women and One Lucky Guy'

I only count 4 women.

Done it again Brett you you totally cunt crazed fucker. Some one said only 4 cunts, who cares. Four hot more than willing cunt's who want to be dedicated one cock multi cunt fuck sluts, plenty for the moment, you can add more later if you want or just add a couple more occasional bi fucking females. More and more of this and soon please. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's uk.

what happened to shay and when did sarah come back?

That's a good start let's see what you do with it.

A bit confusing with the girls coming and going missing, but intriguing nonetheless. You should definitely follow it up with a continuation.

Good effort, but I'm still wondering about woman #5. Also, the ending was a little abrupt. Otherwise, keep it going.

Who is the 'spring cleaning' mom?

Who are the other two daughters mentioned at the start? (Besides, what makes you think that you're his favorite daughter? There are four of us, you know!)

I count three women/lovers in this story. Are there more to be introduced in other chapters?

I hope there's more to this story because you have left so much out. The title said five women you list Sarah, Alexa, Kara, and Shay. You left out who the fifth woman was or how Sarah came back into the picture. Unless you count granny as number five. So I guess I'm waiting for part 2. It was a ok read could have used more sex and sexy details.

You need to follow up with a sequel and tell us who the other woman is and how Sarah re-entered their lives. This is a 5 star only if it is part one of an incest story series with Alexa sucking on her mother's pussy.

Please say there is a chapter 2 on the way?

I love it!!

The title is FIVE women and one lucky guy. So far, I count only three. Did Shay change her name? Or is this Alexa's mom? Five stars, as usual for a story from BrettJ.

This whole thing reads like the script from an 80s porno.

Barf

Not your usual quality of writing. What happened? Were you in a hurry?

First, you violated an important rule: Never break up a sex scene with another scene, especially not a flashback. Some people say flashbacks are poor style in general. I wouldn't go that far. At least not categorically. But they should be used with consideration, and absolutely not in the midst / beginning of a sex scene.

Second, the whole tale feels unstructured. It seems you had no plot or vision of what you wanted to write about, and just went with whereever your imagination carried you. First you want Dad to join the girls on the sofa. In the midst of it, you want to explain how Dad ended up being Alexa's lover. While doing that, you get carried away by explaining how Dad met Shay and how he had sex with her for the first time.

If Shays introduction is important (at all), you should have introduced her and narrated how they met in another scene, or even better, another chapter.

The whole story actually only revolves about two foster sisters who get shagged by their foster dad, while Mom is cleaning. There's no hint in the story or title that this will ever be continued - confusing.

Technically, it also isn't incest. There's no law against foster parents having sex with their foster children, if there is no blood relation, the child is of legal age and does it willingly.

Finally, as others already stated, the title says five, but you only mention four women with intimate relations to the protagonist, and only two of them are daughters. Your introduction says he has four daughters - confusing!

It appears you didn't fully think your cast of characters through. Or at the very least, didn't spend enough effort on a good introduction of your cast.

My comment is not meant harshly in any way. Usually I like your themes and your style of writing. I'm just adding my thoughts in case you're interested in some feedback.

Regards,

Koriander

- Some father that asshole was! Fucking the nanny so the young,impressionable girls could hear,and then allowing,and joining in with them, to have sex? WTF?!

- Better ending would have been to have the perv found out and sent to jail,where he could take it up the ass regularly from Rufus,Leroy,and Willie!

But you never gave details on the wife or who the other 2 females were. This calls for at least 2 more chapters to set it up.

Great thanks but I'm looking for the other 2 women hope you will follow up i know it's been 4 years still not to late.

Love the story, waiting for the next chapter. AAAAAA+++++

A tear jerker for me. Thank you for writing it.

I’m seeing a pattern in your writing. You have the basis of good stories, but without any development or structure, they’re just cheap attempts at titillation. Not very entertaining.