by AwkwardMD
fantastic story, so realistic in every aspect. Please write more of this. I want to know where they go from here. Hopefully living as a couple and making babies of their own.
To myself, this was a truly disturbing story. The obvious is that the siblings were subjected to a hostile environment in their forming years. Often children will subconsciously seek a person with similar looks or mannerisms as their parents for their future spouse. It is still saddening that so many authors on this site, in most genres, quite graphically express the absolute disgust, hatred, vitriol, lack of respect and putrid emotions children would sling at/towards their parents, especially the father figure.
A few keywords in this submission points to dysfunctional siblings as well. Perhaps Felicia was correct in her accusation that Nat is two-faced. For sure, Nat and Jay may have felt uncertainty and mixed emotions the next morning after the deed, like buyer's remorse, but Nat exhibited more than remorse.
During the night, like before daybreak, sees the last intimate scene unfolding, and by then the alcohol intoxication from a few beers should have worn off. No mention is made that Nat had tied on a few too many at the wedding and she drove back to her house under the influence.
According to the dialog, she acted crazed and unstable, way beyond what a grown-up woman should have acted towards a man, or brother, had she not been brutally raped or assaulted, Surely she should have recalled some of her actions the evening before.
The saying of 'fight or flight' does not apply in this case, it screams out 'run'. Things can go to hell in a hurry for Jay.
That is my take on the story thus far. The dialog and plot is great overall, so let's see where the author takes it. I will reserve voting until the story unfolds further. Thanks for your effort AMD, a little, but not too much, entrigue is stimulating.
Not nearly enough good comments about this story yet. Come on folks--We can do better than this! Great story, AwkwardMD.
It is interesting to sound smart on an erotica site but my question: Have you looked around at the state of relationships and families today, at least in the Western world. The vast majority are as much, if not more fucked up than these characters. Read some news, it's pretty clear western civilization is circling the drain.
It's refreshing to see the author acknowledge the reality of our world.
So many stories justify and glamourize incest, this one seems more realistic.
Nice work OP
All of it, best incest story I've read in quite a while!
I don't even know if I want a sequel 'cause as a stand alone is just perfect.
Again kudos, you really made my day! (:
Well written story. It held my attention even though I had things to do. In real life I wouldn't let Nat watch my kid, though.
Western Civilization is going down the drain? You're one of these followers with no purpose in life, being cynical because you think it creates an air of superiority around your ignorance and offers you a cushion of guilt to appear sympathetic to third worlds, bombings, war, famine, countries were child trafficking and human trafficking are the norm and easier to get away with. Your knowledge is about the size of a pinpoint with your statement of 'the vast majority' when you haven't analyzed the vast majority of anything. As to the story, it was written with pseudo-intelligence, above a high-school level, but far from the conciseness of a professional. Some of the dialogue comes across as too fake, as in "I think this is how people talk" when dialogue needs to be "How people wished they could talk" in order to be interesting and not seem contrived. There are little tidbits of description that can be tossed, because the human mind assumes what happens, pictures it even, or doesn't care for it. Random example: "and tossed it into the bin." Can be removed, it's an after thought, a stalling breath between statements. This isn't a story told by a story teller, it's an individual who thinks they are smart and quite possibly they are, telling a story. Even the title is pretentious, unless you're French and writing in French for a French audience.
We need a follow up on this. Grwat story, the emotions of dealing with the aftermath of their actions was very believable. Keep up the great work
5* for "Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?" alone, and 5 more for the story.
... I read AwkwardMD. Stay pervy, my friends.
~The Most Interesting Author in the World
j/k I'm not that interesting.
Also, "Just like Mom used to make" - you're killing me XD
~Eris/D&T
Genuinely one of the best! Five star only 'cause it doesn't go higher
The story with masterfully written and I only hope that there would be a second chapter to it.
Though a bit long, this story is well, written and very exciting . Incest between sisters and brothers have already existed since centuries. Some happened because it formed part of the way of living and procreating of dynastie(e,g.The Pharaon Periods) But nowadays, it is happening very often and in some cases ,the sister and brother do not mind about what other people will think and in many other cases ,because over and above to experience and cross the Taboo line, a sister and a brother will feel safer as far as concerns venereal diseases. Believe me,such forbidden relation is nowadays happening more and more often.Other cases happen because of the proximity of siblings having to live and sleep in a one room house! !This also happens between aunts/nephews and nieces /uncles. However I really think that incest between Mums/sons and daughters/Dads are somewhat rare ,except in case of rape ,the male being under alcohol or drugs influences! !Reciprocal of incest is awesome and those who have experienced it,can really testimony how beautiful,exciting it is.
Echoing some other comments, I wish I could give this more than 5 stars. Real characters, real emotions, real parental angst. ;) And you captured their passion exquisitely. This story only got better and better as it went along. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
And I'm glad you didn't end with "Bye, Felicia". :)
This really is a great story the characters are so well realized and there are consequences to everything. I absolutely adore this this story. The build up great and the scenes with the two ...electrifying.
You captured something rare, the characters felt like real siblings.
I'm always in awe when I read your stories.
I can't add much to what others have said before me, maybe just that the characters in your story seemed so real I came to care what happened to them. I think that's the mark of a good storyteller.
One thing I don't understand is why some have to psycho-analyze everything as though they are qualified to do so. The same for those who are consistently negative. It's a STORY! Get over yourselves!
If you want to make a correction of an inconsequential mistake, consider whether he came to his sister's house in a car or a truck.
This may be out of line, but I was amazed at how wonderfully you put together this tale of heterosexual incest after informing your readers that you normally write LGBT. I think that's extraordinary. Thank you for sharing your talent - you made my day!
I got all the way back to the New Stories list when I remembered that I wanted to tell you that there was NOTHING wrong with your characters' dialogue. NOTHING!
This story stands out from the usual Incest story here because it shows a sibling relationship leading to incest with the lens of real life. It's hardly pretty, but a grim examination of two dysfunctional siblings finding each other after a lifetime of being victimized by their parents. It's not fantasy, but it works and is believable.
5 stars as usual, Doc.
This story is and should be on the all time list. I like how you ended it that way. No fairy tale bs.
When I picked this story to read I was apprehensive at first, but I could not stop reading. It became real to me.
Was looking for something that wasn't to short and wasn't to long its one 1thing to read a story and be able to well let's just say I got to where I needed to without leaving my bed but its another thing to take that journey but keep reading after.... Kinda at a loss for words it was a great story throughout I don't like reading stories more then once but if u cuntinu the story or write another brother and sister and possibly mother story after this I'd deffinatly be up to reading it bravo keep it up
i aspire to the depth of your characterizations and complete mastery of the art of dialogue. The slow, steamy tease is so erotic!
i'm so glad i found your work. Can't wait to read more.
From the bottom of my heart, and from deep inside my soiled underwear, thank you!
-a
thank you, from the depths of my soul,
which you deftly danced with your words.
the characterization, the build up,
the raw flaying of restrained psyches,
the mutual admissions and resolution,
the thrill of forbidden desires realized,
the promise of enduring satisfaction,
the twist like a knife in the guts,
the exposure of shadow unleashed,
the aftermath and confession,
the obvious solution dangled,
then...cut, leaving all in limbo.
pure mastery. please continue.
"What are you doing"?
"I don't know"
Cheesy line I thought until the final scene. Great writing
What a story! A little too much Star Wars in the wind-up, but when you got there, the action--the interaction between Natalie and Jay as well as the sex--was great. Excellent writing.
I was not as clear on Natalie and Jason being combative? For the most part they seemed like they were pretty good with each other. I was also a little unsure oof why the divorce happened with Jason and Felicia. I thought by the end Natalie knew Jason a lot better than Felicia did which was a good note.
The sex scene on page 3 when they're going at it and she ends up on her knees is just amazingly written. Really hot scene!
This has got to be the craziest brother, and sister relationship I've read on Lit, and Its an excellent read! Five Stars! Sure hope there more to cum. Thank you for it!
I loved the story build up and the description of their lovemaking was simply fantastic. GREAT job
I have, over the years, collected a lot of art (for this story and others). Be sure to check http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1496319 to see these characters and more!
I started with your 'Violet' which got to me but left me kind of dissatisfied. But this one, wow! A real story about real people. The morning after hit me like punch in the gut. More of this type please.
I suggest strongly recommend hat you refrain from making bullshit comments until you have a look at your own pretentious rubbish.
...seems I’m into incest after all. At least when written like you did here. I absolutely loved the protagonist and the relationship between the two. I love the realism and plausibility.
There’s always a strange thrill when starting a story from you, because I really don’t know where I’ll end up, but this was just in all ways perfect. The only thing that makes it better is that there’s more of it. There’s some perks for being late to the party.
Good premise.
But the sex happens too fast. Lacks slow, step-by-step approach. Too direct. Lacks any teasing. Lacks any exploring what the other wants/likes.
And, maybe I missed something, but everything after the initial sex is simply a bore.
Three stars.
I think that the morning after fighting was too much over the top and it felt out of sync. I can easily see Nat lashing out at Jason because she's disappointed and disgusted with herself. But I think that she should have broken down before going as far as the hatred and vitriol. I gave you 5 stars, but it was a four and a half piece.
WOW!
When you do 'old-fashioned het' you don't hold back...scorching hot 1st time for them, and did you say 1st time in 10 yrs for you to write this sort of genre?
Really like the characters, and dialogue, and bodies you've given them-him packing, and-personal fet-full muffin, as well as a great pair for for her,
and, not least, technically perfect. 5 & fave,
and so glad there's more to come
-like her idea of them staying with her and letting Fel deal with/have his/their house, and not allowing him to get away from her now, and too into his head-her fury at him really threw me, too.
PS stumbled across this-have one of your other stories-Perfect Day' started/bookmarked right now too
Holy shit, Batman! What a powerful and emotional beginning!
Fuck, you write very well!
Let me read Ch. 2... I have to go now, damn.
I'm late to the party but that gives me the advantage of reading all three installments in series. You are a master wordsmith. You use words to paint images and your verbal images melt into the background of the imagination so that the reader sees what you are depicting. A rare art!
Thanks!
5 stars.
"Forty eight," she said, enunciating clearly. "Your little sister is a real slut." No woman who has fucked that many guys is that insecure.
Slut sisters is not erotic, at all.
@muskyboy
I'm sorry that a throwaway line in the middle of my story about how parents cast long shadows on the lives of their kids ruined this story for you, but I'm not sorry for writing Natalie with depth that goes beyond a body count. No single statistic defines a person. Grow up.