Fool's Errand

"So," Lyndsey broke the ice again, seeing that Mason was so quiet, "Mason and Lyndsey, eh? What a combination we'd make with a few hyphens added in!"

Mason laughed, "Yeah, I guess the success or otherwise of this whole scheme, or whatever you want to call it, is going to be completely down to the pair of us."

"It does seems that way," she laughed back, "so, why do you need to play this trick on your family?"

"I don't really, I find it all too silly, actually."

"So why do it?"

"It's Sis's call. She's the one who the jokes are played on every year, my Dad and I just roll our eyeballs at Mum's inventions and Caroline's over reaction to them every year. I'm sure that if Caroline didn't take it half so seriously, it would have petered out by now. So, what's in it for you?"

"Nothing really, it's Gareth who wants to ask Daddy for my hand in marriage but he knows he's going to get turned down."

"Why? He seems quite normal ... for a Neanderthal."

Lyndsey giggled, "Actually, he's a banker, works in his family's bank."

"So, Gareth's folks are loaded then? What's your Daddy got against him?"

"He simply doesn't like him and he doesn't do anything to disguise the fact, either."

"I expect that no-one's going to be good enough for his daughter. Are you an only daughter?"

"Afraid so, does it show?"

"No, well not that I could tell, only deduced from your father's protective attitude. Tell me, has he approved of any of your boyfriends before Gareth?"

She laughed, "No, not a single one. I guess I'm destined to be a spinster in my old age. I better learn to knit or crochet or something."

"Ah, not prepared to go against Daddy's wishes then?"

"Oh, he's a force of nature. When Daddy and Gareth are in the same room they set off sparks. Wait until you meet him!"

"And I guess I am supposed to make such a bad impression on him that Gareth appears acceptable as his son-in-law?"

"Something like that. Look, I mean no disrespect to you, Mason, but Caroline told me at the outset that you work as a postman and that you sometimes paint houses?"

"Yes, I do."

"Well, Daddy runs the biggest chemicals industry business in the world, so don't take this the wrong way, but it will take a lot to impress him, if the son likely to inherit a banking institution that has been established in London for almost 200 years can't make much headway with him."

"No offence taken, Lyndsey," he grinned, "I really have no problem with my job status and my future prospects. I am comfortable in my own skin. What about you, what exactly do you do?"

"I'm a paediatric surgeon at the East Green General," she replied. "Or at least I'm learning how to become one."

"Caroline had said you were some kind of doctor, but not that you were training as a surgeon. I am impressed. Is it mainly babies you operate on?"

"Yes, although they do let us loose on young adults as well as children when there are emergencies, but mainly the bulk of the scheduled operations are on babies and small children."

"Wow! That must be brilliant. A lot more challenging than sticking letters through letterboxes."

They chatted amiably as they walked. Lyndsey thought it made a nice change for a man not to drone on about how important their jobs or activities were. Mason had simply described his morning round, which was mostly shops and offices in the town centre and his early afternoon round was residential; he started early in the morning, but was finished by middle of the afternoon. Gareth was always bragging about how much he had made on this deal and that, or eulogising over some tackle he had made at his favourite sport, rugby.

When he asked what was one of the downsides to her work, she said, "I don't know, Mason, sometimes it feels a lot like I'm reaching through a tiny letterbox trying to pull something out to check it out, cut it away or stitch it up. That's not always much fun."

"Ok, we agree then, that your job is a bit more challenging while mine is a whole lot more fun!"

"Fun! In posting letters through a letterbox? Where's the 'fun' in that?"

"Oh, the joys of being a postman. Just think of it Lyndsey, up at the crack of dawn or in that quiet twilight just before the sun comes up. Often the wind drops to a sigh, the air so still and quiet that you could hear a pin drop. And the light in the morning can be stunning. You are so alone on the street that you could be the only one alive, or awake at least. Then the birds sense the dawn's approach and start announcing it to their neighbours. It's wonderful."

"I get the dawn too," Lyndsey insisted, finding herself fighting the corner for her profession, "sometimes we start surgery at 7am and we have to get in an hour or so before that and read through all the patients' notes and scrub up ready."

"Ok," he conceded, "but look at the sacrifices you make in your job. You have to work in a windowless room under artificial light and pumped air con, while I am in the fresh air, taking in the sun from when it leaves off kissing the horizon to well past meridian. Now that is inspirational."

She had noticed in the pub how tanned he was, even this early in the spring, his face and hands were much darker than his sister. She assumed they must've started out with similar natural colouring, but his dark skinned look suited him, made him look healthy, combined with his lean and athletic frame. Her mind wandered to how shapely his legs and buttocks were and couldn't help compare him to Gareth, who worked on weights in the gym, which made his arms and legs a bit too over-muscled, with slightly repulsive prominent blood vessels, that looked so imbalanced somehow, like he was on steroids or something. Encased in the sleeves of his polo shirt, Mason looked slim and lean, with long muscles that seemed so much more appropriate to his natural long-limbed build.

"It may seem like I have to work like a troglodyte most of the time, but at least I am trying to make someone's life better."

"Oh, and you don't think delivering letters from an overseas sister not seen in a twelve month isn't important, or the results of a successful examination, be it educational or ... medical ... making someone's life better?"

'Ooo,' she thought and she looked at him smiling at her with one eyebrow raised, 'he's taunting me now, the rat. I can't let him get away with that!'

"Well, at least under the NHS, I don't have to hand them any nasty bills," she chirped back at him, "I bet you delivery nasty old bills all the time."

"Most people pay by direct debit nowadays, with the bigger bills spread monthly over the year, so all I am dropping in are statements, not nasty surprises. In fact, most of the surprises are ones that are full of good news, like birthday cards, baby photos and premium bond wins or letters from far away loved ones."

'Damn,' she thought, 'he really likes his job.'

In front of them, Caroline and Gareth had stopped walking and turned to face them.

"Looks like we're here," Lyndsey said, trying to put on a pout, "we'll continue this conversation later."

Mason grinned. This odd double date that he hadn't looked forward to without several degrees of trepidation all week, was half an hour old and he had pretty well enjoyed every single minute of it so far.

They pushed on into the restaurant. Caroline peeled off to speak to one of the waiters, who embraced her like a long lost friend. Very friendly in here, Lyndsey thought, looking through to the area where the tables were, it looked completely full in there even at this early hour. She looked around, the decor was dark, all blacks, golds and reds, warm and comfortable. It looked like it had been here forever, yet Lyndsey had never heard of it before. It was in the old part of town, up the hill from the station, near the old church. The streets were narrow and what shops there were here, they were small specialist craft and antique shops.

Caroline returned, "Our table will be ready in ten minutes."

"Right," Gareth said, stepping towards a small bar in the corner of a small lounge area, "they've got Peroni Azzuro, bottles all round?" One of the waiters had slipped behind the bar and reacted to Gareth's booming voice by pulling a Peroni off the shelf.

Mason looked at Caroline and Lyndsey, who were in conversation, "Ladies..."

"Yeah, Peroni for me," Caroline said, Lyndsey nodded with a smile, so Mason joined Gareth at the bar and spoke to the waiter, "make that four please, Tony."

The waiter placed the uncapped frosted bottles and shook Mason's hand with a broad grin on his swarthy face, "There you go Mace, enjoy!" before he scooted back to the tables.

"Eat here a lot, Mason?" Gareth asked, then tugged at his beer.

"Yeah, used to once upon a time, but not so much lately," Mason replied reflecting on not having much reason to dine out of late.

"So what's good in here?"

"Honestly?" Mason laughed, "Everything! Trust me, everything in here is special."

They joined the girls and handed over their bottles. The girls were talking about accommodation, Caroline having a small one bed studio flat, while Lyndsey was sharing a three bed flat close to the hospital with two other doctors.

Gareth chipped in with his luxury two bed apartment, which boasted a wide balcony, so he could hold barbecues in the summer.

Mason didn't say anything, and Caroline opened her mouth about to say something on his behalf, but a large lady, in her late fifties or early sixties, wearing an apron, approached them holding out her arms. Caroline leapt up and embraced her, exchanging kisses on both cheeks.

"This is my Aunt Anna," Caroline said, "this is her restaurant. This is Lyndsey, and this is Gareth."

Aunt Anna kissed them both on the cheeks and then turned to the fourth member of the group, whose back had been towards her when she approached the group, "Mason! I didn't expect to see you here tonight, we've not seen you here for ages. Come, kiss your favourite Aunt."

Mason gladly embraced her and kissed both her cheeks. Then they were led through the restaurant to the back right next to the kitchen, before she left them to go into the kitchen.

Gareth noticed first, "There are no menus on the table."

"We are family, so we never get menus, they will bring out the best dishes they can do, a lot of it not even on the standard menu," Mason said with a smile, "Don't worry, everything will be absolutely delicious."

And it all was. Aunt Anna even came and sat with them for a while as Gareth and Lyndsey eulogised about the calamari and other dishes. Aunt Anna spent a lot of time talking to Lyndsey and got out of her that she was a doctor at the hospital. Aunt Anna naturally wanted to know about the massive engagement ring on her finger and, almost on cue, Mason and Lyndsey reached out and held hands, Lyndsey turning to Aunt Anna and saying, "Meet my fiancée, Anna, isn't he wonderful?"

With the congratulations out of the way, Aunt Anna made a quick getaway, no doubt to ring her sister, Mason's mother Sofia. Mason and Caroline exchanged glances and smiled. The April Fool trap was sprung.

***

The walk back down towards the station car park was full of high spirits. They reverted back to their original couples again as Gareth wanted to reestablish his relationship with Lyndsey, saying "I brought her in my car, so I am taking her home." They stopped at the car park and, for a moment, Gareth revelled in the apparent success of tonight's charade.

"That was a master stroke, booking your Aunt's restaurant, so it all gets straight back to your Mum, Caroline," said Gareth, "I hope that you will keep up the bargain for our side of the trick and get Lyndsey's Dad to reconsider my marriage proposal."

"That's why you insisted I wear my ring," Lyndsey grinned at Caroline, "so your aunt could see it."

"Of course," Caroline said, "and it worked a treat."

"I'm not surprised it made an impression, that ring's worth thirty k!" chipped in Garett.

"For insurance purposes," Lyndsey added.

"I think this'll work," Caroline beamed, "now, are we all agreed to do this for the full eight weeks until the first of April?"

She hesitated while the other three looked at each other and nodded.

"Brilliant! So that all of us can get the right results from this prank, we need the 'partners' to see each other often and get to know each other's history, likes and dislikes. I am sure Mum'll ring Mason and me both in the morning to check up on us, so what plans do we all have for the weekend?"

"I have a home match in the afternoon, but the team usually meets for a bevy in The Carpenters beforehand," said Gareth, "your Josh'll be there, Caroline, so if you wanna tag along...."

"Ooo, please!" gushed Caroline. "That means that Mason and Lyndsey will be free to meet up, too." They moved to one side, comparing their mobile phone calendars.

"Well, I also have a match tomorrow afternoon," Mason said to Lyndsey, "it's an away game, and I always travel in the team bus."

"I didn't know you still played," Lyndsey said, remembering that Caroline had said he was 38 in their conversation during the week.

"No, I don't play." he laughed, "I'm the team photographer and match reporter, for the Herald."

"What team is it?"

"The local football side, Barton United."

"I didn't know we even had a local team," Lyndsey admitted, "and I've lived here for nearly five years."

"Yes, they play at Manor Park, behind the fire station. We're in an intermediate league made up of teams from three counties, none of them with floodlights, so we only play on Saturdays. Tomorrow we are playing in the quarter-finals of our county senior cup ... it's the highest level of competition that we enter and this is the furthest we've ever got in our history."

"I remember the ground now, I often jog in Manor Park, so I have seen the pitch in the corner fenced off but I never really noticed anyone playing there before." She smiled as she got her mobile out of her clutch bag and pressed a button or two to call up her calendar. "So, I should be free after morning rounds about 10.00 to 10.30, so where and when shall we meet?"

"Well," Mason replied hesitating, "it could be a long all day and all evening if the team are successful and insist that the bus stops for a drink on the way home. We have to stay behind at the ground for a short period after the game, as the hosts lay on tea and sandwiches, and it is bad form to disappear too soon."

"That's all right, Mason, I have kept this weekend completely free after my rounds so we can get to know each other better and establish our back story for this April Fool."

"All right, I usually do a short round at work of mostly second class mail, between 6 and 10 on Saturday morning, shower and change at the Post Office and meet up with the team at the Silver Spoon Café on the bypass at 11. I leave my car in the car park there."

"That's perfect. I am popping into the hospital for a couple of hours to check on today's ops, and I'll be in Reception at say quarter to 11?"

"Yes, that will be fine. You will need to wrap up well for the terraces as the shelter at most of the grounds at this level is pretty rudimentary at best, coat, hat, gloves, and stout shoes, too, as not all grounds have proper tarmac paths. The forecast was showers with sunny periods between."

"I have some warm and comfortable walking boots." Lyndsey continued, "So what's the plan for Sunday?"

"Oh, I really hadn't thought about us going anywhere Sunday...." Mason trailed off.

"What do you normally do Sundays?" she laughed, "Don't tell me I'm going to be a golf widow for the next two months' worth of Sundays, will you?"

"No, nothing like that." Mason paused before making up his mind. With a glance at Caroline, who was still engrossed in conversation with Gareth, he pulled Lyndsey a few feet away and dropped his voice to a whisper. "Look, it's a bit embarrassing, but I drive down to the coast late on Saturday night and on Sundays I spend the day visiting an old ... er ... girlfriend—"

"Oh, that's original," she said, arching her eyebrows, "why didn't you get her to agree to be your fiancée?"

"No, it's not like that at all. In fact I never even see my old girlfriend, she won't talk to me, so I only ever see her parents."

Lyndsey frowned, "Why do you bother to go all that way to visit her parents?"

"Keep your voice down, Caroline knows nothing about this, but ... I get to spend every other Sunday with my daughter."

"Daughter? How old is she?"

"She's eleven months." Mason couldn't help but smile at the thought of his daughter. "Maisie's Mum lives with her parents down on the coast. She is still being breast-fed, and the mother is being difficult with me, insisting that Maisie doesn't have formula, nor will she express milk for me to feed her. So I get three or four hours with her in the morning, and another three or four in the afternoon. I tend to drive down on Saturday night, and I have a permanent fortnightly booking for a room at a hotel down there for Saturday night and Sunday night."

Lyndsey's heart lurched at his smile about his daughter. It was a sad, whimsical smile.

She whispered back, "and Caroline doesn't know she's an aunt?"

"No. It's a long and complicated story."

"You can tell me about it tomorrow in the bus."

"OK." He nodded. "Er... My friends don't know either."

"Yet you told me your secret?"

"Well, in a couple of months we'll stop seeing each other permanently." He looked at her eye to eye, "besides, it would be good for me to talk about her and, although I hardly know you, I trust you."

Lyndsey nodded, "Is it OK if I bring an overnight bag with me? I trust you too, Mason."

He nodded, "I'll book another single room at the same hotel for you. I can do that tonight online. There's plenty of room in the winter."

"I'll see you at the hospital in the morning then."

"All right." They turned and joined the other couple. All exchanged hugs and each couple went back to their respective cars.

"What do you think of Lyndsey?" Caroline asked as soon as they sat in Mason's car.

"I like her."

"She's beautiful."

"She is."

"So's Gareth, he's gorgeous."

"Now, Caroline, they are an engaged couple. Don't go splitting them up. Gareth is not fair game and you know it. Behave."

"That Gareth has 'player' written all over him. And if I don't behave, there just might be a beautiful young lady with a broken heart who would need a man's consoling."

"Well, don't count on me, Josh'll have to console you."

"Ha! Are you so iron-hearted, Bro?"

"Stainless steel, Sis." Mason got serious, "Look, Gareth's family owns the bank he works in and Doctor Lyndsey's Daddy runs some international giant chemical or pharmaceutical company. Don't get your hopes up, they are both of them way out of our class."

"I know. But what about you, here and now? Marilyn was over twelve years ago," Caroline said quietly, "surely you are over her by now. Or have you developed an aversion to all women?"

"No, I get on just fine with you and Mum."

"Mmm, I think you need to snap out of it. I really like Lyndsey. Get to know her Mace and I am sure that she could get you back in the saddle again in no time at all."

"We'll see."

He dropped her off at her flat and drove home to his dark and deserted semi-detached house that he had bought all those years ago for Marilyn and then briefly shared with Leone and the baby. The baby had been at the house for only a few hours and never even spent any time in the nursery. He didn't sleep well, his mind full of images of the vision he had spent the evening with. He got up early and attended to his Royal Mail job, where he was busy sorting and posting his round early, returning to shower and change at home, before driving off to the hospital main entrance to meet Lyndsey.