All Comments on 'For the Love of Lana Ch. 03'

I believe the word you were going for is rogue, not rouge.

If you are trying to be a contender for worst writer, your efforts are paying off.

Horrible! I don't think so but if you can do better?

Not sure what the other's are looking for but I find this series entertaining, What else does one want from a story??

The plot line isn't half bad, but the language? My god! You need an editor really bad. Horrible use (or lack of it) of punctuation. Bad sentence structure. If the story was slightly less interesting, I wouldn't tire my brain trying to make sense what each line or each paragraph means.

Pretty much what others have said... get an editor... trying to make heads or tails of sentences is extremely distracting... and spoils enjoyment of the story... im curious... if proximity to vampires nullifies a mages power... how did a mage kill 3k of them...

you also seem to lose your train of thought at times and write lines that you forget to follow up on... it's not a bad story... but it could be so much better... you really need another set of eyes on this one...

-jaye-

That cry of anguish came from me tearing my hair out in frustration with your spelling and grammar errors, most of which I can live with - albeit barely. You persist with substituting "rouge" (which is red in French) for "rogue". Obviously it won't be picked up by a spelling or grammar checker, which is why you need an editor or ghost writer!!!