All Comments on 'For the Love of Lana Ch. 04'

This one could have used a little more editing, a lot of missing commas, tenses and syntax errors made it a harder read then it should have been.

Next chapter soon please.

Can't seem to stop reading. This story is gripping and fast paced. Am waiting for when it will slow down and get to the sex part...

If you go to either storiesonline.net or sexstories.com you will find the complete story from stat to finish.

Grammar and continuity errors. Sentences that make little sense. This is the first story I've read from you but I suggest structuring your plot at conception, getting an editor and laying off the wine or whatever is causing you to merge random sentences. Perspective shifts mid paragraph/ sentence just added to the confusion.

I enjoyed the love/hate dynamic between Jonathan and Lana yet you killed it in one scene. I enjoy this genre and the mechanic of both factions being powerless around each other, fun.

I unfortunately didn't get very far through this chapter as I lost patience but I saw anonymous comment their ire and thought I would show them how to critique.

Wish you well and hope to see more of your content,

Ducky