For the Love of Lana Ch. 04

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"You best go before he is fully moving and awake, don't worry I'm just getting started, remember there are a lot of things that DON'T kill you, that you can live through, even a vampire."

Lana headed for Jonathan's building it was time to get the truth, though knowing Jonathan that was going to be like bringing the dead back to life. Jonathan was just heading out of the building he'd met the vampire council in. when the attack came 'bout time Jonathan thought. Touching the crystal on his chest he felt his power return. Smiling he held up a finger and waved it at the five who were advancing on him, stopping a moment they just laughed and drew weapons.

"Aye, don' be afraid he 'as no power," the leader smirked.

"Oh really?" Jonathan said, touching the crystal again, this time his full power returned, "It seems I am at full power but you," he waved a hand at his attackers, "are nothing."

Snarling the five men advanced ready to rip Jonathan apart, only one man got a swipe at him, the move slightly revealed the crystal on Jonathan's chest. "OMG!" the leader yelled, "He has the Rinora crystal!" Turning the leader tried to run while the other four were still trying to attack, the leader froze while the others were sliced into pieces, several hundred times.

"So," Jonathan started, "you know of the crystal, then you also know the price for it being used."

The man could only nod, "It's really too bad, not many know of the crystal anymore," here Jonathan leaned closer and grimaced, "now there is one less!" The crystal shimmered, then the man screamed as a beam shot out drawing everything from the man almost depleted of energy the body shriveled then fell to the ground a dried out husk.

Not far away Lana had turned a corner, her eyes wide when she saw the crystal. OMG! She though, the Rinora crystal! Memories started to flood back, painful, bitter memories, overwhelming memories that had her head spinning.

Too many Lana thought, TOO MANY! With a sigh she felt her mind shutting down, the welcome darkness caressing her like a long absent lover, slipping into it she thought why Jonathan? Why have you suffered alone all these years? It was mine and Gregor's duty also, why you bastard, she was my best friend! Lana awoke an hour later, startled she saw that she was in Jonathan's office. The memory of what she'd seen came back, this time she had to hide it before Jonathan scanned her, true she liked having Jonathan in her, but for once she wanted to keep everything. Opening her eyes fully she saw that her mother was bent over with a look of concern on her face.

"Lana! Thank the night; I thought you had contracted the disease!" Lady Vishnew said, wiping her face again.

"Jonathan contacted us as soon as you collapsed, what happened?"

Lana looked at Gregor who just shrugged; the look of pure death she gave him had him retreating out the door. He wasn't about to drag his sister into this though she might be the injured party it was his duty to take care of it.

Gregor backed into Jonathan outside the office door, a look of concern on Jonathan's face had Gregor spilling everything to him. As he expected, Gregor saw Jonathan's face twist into a mask of pure hatred and death, damn Gregor thought too bad, his look would be perfect for a vampire! The only thing that tempered the anger was when Gregor told him that he'd broken Reginald's neck, almost to the point of ending him.

"I wish I had now, but for some reason I couldn't, I probably had a thought in the back of my mind that you'd kill me if I had!" Laughed Gregor. Jonathan smiled a cold deadly smile that barely reached his eyes though it wasn't a smile of delight more a smile of a plan, a terrible plan breaking into creation in his mind. Then the smile grew a smile that seemed more and more evil as each minute passed, yes! What a wonderful idea! Jonathan's mind was whirling with ideas this was perfect! Perfect that is if he could get away with it!

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Needs a lot

Grammar and continuity errors. Sentences that make little sense. This is the first story I've read from you but I suggest structuring your plot at conception, getting an editor and laying off the wine or whatever is causing you to merge random sentences. Perspective shifts mid paragraph/ sentence just added to the confusion.

I enjoyed the love/hate dynamic between Jonathan and Lana yet you killed it in one scene. I enjoy this genre and the mechanic of both factions being powerless around each other, fun.

I unfortunately didn't get very far through this chapter as I lost patience but I saw anonymous comment their ire and thought I would show them how to critique.

Wish you well and hope to see more of your content,

Ducky

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
????

If you go to either storiesonline.net or sexstories.com you will find the complete story from stat to finish.

ShKiPShKiPalmost 7 years ago
Waiting for the next chapter....

Can't seem to stop reading. This story is gripping and fast paced. Am waiting for when it will slow down and get to the sex part...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Next chapter soon please.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Like your stories but

This one could have used a little more editing, a lot of missing commas, tenses and syntax errors made it a harder read then it should have been.

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