by MarshAlien
I loved the twists and turns in this story. It added to the great writing and an interesting story line.
It's amazing that this story was only 2 pages long, yet had all of the ins-and-outs and character development and twists and turns of a full 8-page story... Having worked in a library, I've found that it's often a lot harder for an author to write a good short story than it is to write a mediocre novel... What I'm trying to say is - GREAT JOB!!!
to how far you can get as an author. I hate to gush. It seems unmanly. Let's just say you're probably the best writer on this site, and you continue to demonstrate it.
i love it. the characters, the way you write....
just love it. wit, that's the word i was thinking. it makes your stories standout.
Cat fight or a great story? Cat fight or wonderful dialogue? Cat fight or details and description so clear that I am there with you.
Shit! Sorry, SweetWitch, but I must give my vote to MarshAlien.
The story, dialogue, and writing is wonderful. Thanks for the hot read.
Great story - can't think of any way it could be made better.
Dialog was first rate - it really sucks you in.
One of the better reads... a rare gem.
Regards, Jack
Now I'm off to read the other story --- but this was a great read!
As I have just finished reading both your stories, I have to say YES to both of you. The reason being other than smiler titles they are different types of stories. I thank you for taking the time to entertain me and look forward to your next.
Mike from Texas
Now forget the drinks and give me both bitches!
Leaves the other story in the dust, I really like this! You win!
Leaves the other story in the dust, I really like this! You win!
Next time we do this, you write in LW and I'll do romance.
Incredible story, Marsh. You deserve to win.
Molly
Marsh's has a more serious tone to it. I think if or when you two --- or any others --- want to "compete", you need to agree on the serious nature of the story: both have to write comical, western, science fiction, romance, or loving wives... 'its so as to make our voting easier. <p>
These two, while with similar thematic titles, are way too far apart, like oranges and apples, to be fairly juxtapose. I mean, if I must choose one as having the edge, it would be Marsh's, again, because of the more serious and darker tone of it. <p>
The Pablo Irish (I have a few nieces and nephews who are Asian and Irish, so I totally understand Pablo's Irish bar), I thought was just awesome as a concept...
I read this one first, then sweetwitch's, before coming back to comment. Both great stories, very different from each other. Both well written, both a damn fine read. But I like this one just a touch more.
But, regardless of which of you wins your little contest, the real winners are the readers.
MarshAlien, and you are to be congratulated for writing it. It has everything a really fine story should have. Haven't read sweetwitch's story yet but I'm looking forward to doing so ASAP. Thank You. Ronnie W.
I read your story first, and where your technique may be better, I saw through to the end of the story almost from the beginning. It was a very good story, but it was too predicable for my taste. I liked the twist at the end of the other story better, there's just something to be said for sweet revenge. Thank you both for giving me some of the best reading from here in a long time.
A tender love story with some intriguing twists. Great plot and dialogue. The editor angle was clever. Good luck.
I liked both stories, but yours is too sweet not to win. Great job, Marsh.
This is the only story i read, since I'm not all that interested in your contest. . .but I'm very glad I read this one. I loved the pace, tone, and character development. It was obvious who the editor was about 3/4 of the way through, but I really enjoyed getting to figure it out. Thank you for taking us through interesting sex without skimping on the characters, and for introducing us to interesting characters without getting too sentimental. I thoroughly enjoyed this story.
Loved your story. I love stories that have twists, even if I can sometimes guess them. And, of course, I love interracial stories. I'm glad that they got back together.
Maybe some day I'll be as good a writer as you are, though I'll have to finish a story first, but I'm working on that, just have to find the time to devote to it. (Guess I could use a private island, not to mention not having to go to work.) It was a pleasure to read a story that didn't have any, obvious, typos or wrong words (apologies to the authors that post them). I hope never to do that! (I'm a little slower because I'll let a story sit for a while then reread it before I ask an editor to look at it, its amazing how many mistakes I find that way.)
I look forward to reading your next story! But don't rush on my account.
Great story. I love those romance stories so I liked this one better than Sweetwitch (don't hate me).
There's a new Sheriff in town....or should I say Marshall.
Hands down the best of the two.
Great romance story.. I kinda think HDK is right, though.. I have to say a tie! BTW, I could see it coming that she was the editor. And when his editor quit, it was a cinch..
Read both stories last night. Came back to yours this evening. You and SweetWitch each did a beautiful job. I give you each a 100. Sorry I can't choose between you two.
at least, in this round! Both stories are well written by highly skilled practitioners of the craft, but I definitely prefer yours, Mr. Alien. It has the humor and the light, deft touch we all have learned to anticipate in your work, and as others have noted, it has better dialogue. I also think it has more believable characters. But more than anything else, this story has a wonderful heart. The twist at the end was, indeed, easy to see coming, but that never detracted from the pleasure of reaching it. Fine, fine work, once again!
Well! I've read a lot of SweetWitch; I think she is great and I enjoyed her story, but this story just takes things to a whole new level. The joy I felt in the lover's reconciliation brought me very close to tears--the orgasm of the soul.
Don't get me wrong, I liked Sweetwitch's story too, but this one was better.
You are both excellent writers, and I look forward to all new material from both of you.
This is a choice I am glad I am not forced to make. Both stories are fantastic and so well written and conceived. My hat is off to both of you and you both are true authors who don’t seem to let all this go to your head. I hope you both stay grounded as your success moves you upward.<P>Thank you for the great entertainment.<P>PT
I don't know which story is best, your story or sweetwitch's. I guess that I'll just have to call it a tie. They are both excellent. Thanks for writing them.
I liked Sweet's just a tad bit more. Yours was still a great read though!
No viagra necessary for this grumpy older man. This was a fun story that didn't go into the reservations of races intermingling. Its simply two people attracted to each other doing their thing. I enjoyed the sarcastic sense of humor of both characters and although the writer didn't use pornographic explicit detail (which I have NO problem with) the sexiness of the story isn't lost at all.
I liked the pace and the humor. Definitely better than "....gimme the drink".
I liked both stories, but I think yours finished slightly better.
That was a fun story, well-crafted. I enjoyed every word of it, even the missing "I" when he dived between her legs on the rocks. Fantastic! (Be happy that I'm not your editor) -Mendax
beautifully literate, and a just-about credible storyline. Many thanks.
That story was so lovely, sexy and emotionally stunning! I could actually visualize all of your characters and the places they visited! Thank you for sharing your GOD given talent with us mere mortals!
There is so much more to be said between these two. Please continue their story.
I just re-read this - had to do a search for "Tecumseh" to find it again :) - and it's still a fantastic story. Far as I'm concerned, you definitely won that contest!
Sweet Witch's wasn't bad, but you delivered your usual outstanding offering
To those who "saw the ending coming" So what?
Did it detract from the overall effort? Not enough to worry about IMHO
forget the drink, is a criminal offense, TK U MLJ LV NV
will have to check out your other stories.
Great characters. Great storyline. Sexy sub-plot.
Like the story said, 'Please sir, I'd like some more.'
Marsh Alien concentrated on quiet entertainment, leading his reader through a world populated by refined intellectuals, who would fight to the death to defend a simple word against a synonym with more syllables. All this while daring the reader to get emotionally involved or breathe heavily.
SweetWitch took the opposite approach, giving us a blow-by-blow description of a bloody barroom brawl between two attractive women. Entertainment seemed to be an afterthought, while her story could have been a commercial for estrogen-scented adrenaline.
Both were very well written: top notch prose from top notch authors. I have to call the match a draw.
Hans
Good stuff, man. Enjoyed the read while taking a break from my own writing. Good, romantic, and fun! Oh yeah, I said that fun the tagline. LOL
Not too long. Not too short. You managed to fit a great romantic tale into only two Lit pages. Outstanding!
5 HUGE Stars!
Good writing. Too much was hidden at the end, though. He walked into the bar, turns around, gets a phone thrown at him, and somehow she just shows up.
You forget that at the beginning of the story, he sent her home so he knew her address. After getting the phone thrown at him, he would have taken it to her place where the story continues.
This was...
Well...
This was certainly the least well written of your stories that I have now read. It was as if you checked the continuity out at the door, choosing droll vagaries over well crafted details and neglecting to embellish on the lesser parts of the trip. I mean, come on, Marsh! The whole thing had a bitter aftertaste like a bad club soda bought at $0.50 a pop. Or maybe I should say that it was like that piss poor bar scotch our friend failed to enjoy. You wrote a story about writers and editors, for fuck's sake, and it still came out as cheaply cobbled 'meh'!
The premise of your story had promise, but the actual story itself kind of failed to deliver on said promise.
I have enjoyed reading your other pieces, so by no means should this be seen as discouragement. I just had higher hopes is all. I look forward to leaving more obnoxious comments soon.
- The Four-Eyed Vampire
I gave you both 5's, if I had read yours first I would have given hers a three or four.
You was crafted, and had wit and grace . Hers was a drunken dude-tale, like a punch in the face. OldBearSwitch
Some stories are just so enjoyable to read. This is one of those.
...has been too long i the sunlight!!!!
Quick, quirky, and delightful as Goin' Fishin!!!!
Read the two opposing versions and this was definitely the winner.
Still, the stories were different so I gave both of them five stars.
Loved both of the stories.
I caught it right away, as soon as she confessed to being an editor.
But it still took nothing away from the story. I don't quite know what the parameters of the contest were, but both author's are very talented. I just can't pick one over the other...
Sorry..
Lakeeriegoatguy
Loved it.
I'd probably say that you win by a whisker, but that might be as much because of my preference for the romance theme than the writing.
The two of you are each really great writers.
Here I go again. "Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing)" was composed by Louis Prima. He and "his band" also performed and recorded it a few times before anyone else did. Fletcher Henderson followed close. Benny Goodman and his Band recorded it first in a studio in 1937. In 1938 this was followed by a live recording of a Carnegie Hall Concert. The arrangement for both of those versions originated from Jimmy Mundy, who also worked for Count Basie, for instance. Goodman and others performed and recorded it repeatedly later on. The Carnegie 1938 recording is usually deemed the most successful and influential one.
Unfortunately at that time the results of collective efforts were already attributed mostly to one person, made into THE star, for commercial reasons. The movie industry had invented stardom and it had proven to be a successful marketing concept. In big band swing the arrangement/orchestration contributes to the appeal of the final result more than anything else. All the really good stuff from the 1930th and 1940th was arranged by a very limited number of specialists. Those were the real geniuses behind the sound that's so enticing to fans until today.
Enjoyed the story. 5 stars. Also read the sweetwitch story first. Gave it 5 stars also.
Okay I got the grip...firt I was thinking like...then i liked it. loved it.
5stars
Thanks for sharing,
Oh Pleezzzz -- making me choose would be like asking which child I loved better. Altho I have to admit I was a Mythology fan, and I just love the Iliad---and Homer was my favorite. Such fun between 2 marvelous story tellers, that obviously care for each other a lot. Thank you for letting us join in the fun!
I've passed this one by many times - something about the title made me think that there was going to be cheating or something involved. Or that it would be crude or demeaning or something...
.
Big mistake. Huge! (With apologies to Julia Roberts) What a wonderful story. I should've expected nothing less from MarshAlien. It's a tragedy that they are no longer submitting stories here. 5*