Forgiveness

I heard one officer telling the other, "That would correspond to the IDs that we found at the scene. The first names were Charles and David." He then turned to Tony and said, "I am sorry to inform you that your friends were evidently involved in a serious accident."

"How serious?" asked Tony and the officer replied, "They hit the center support for the underpass where Countyline Road goes under the interstate. They both probably died on impact, but it didn't matter. The first witnesses on the scene said the car was totally engulfed in flames, and they couldn't get anyone out. Both bodies are pretty badly burned so we weren't really sure who was in the vehicle. We started here because the vehicle is registered to you, but it sounds like the two fatalities are your friends Chuck and Dave. I am very sorry about your friends. What is left of your vehicle was towed to the police impound lot until our investigation is finished."

Mom breathed a sigh of relief that her worst fears were not realized. But the wrath of God was not finished. It was exactly one week later when another State Police car stopped in front of the house. This time there was a State Police office and a plain clothes detective. And this time mom's fears were realized. "I am afraid to inform you that your son, Tony, was involved in a disturbance downtown this afternoon. He and his friend, Rocky, were killed. Detective Brooks thinks it might have been a drug buy gone bad, but I think that Tony and Rocky were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They had a lot of cash on them and Tony had several ads for used cars in his pocket. I think they were there looking for a car when something happened. It's a pretty bad neighborhood."

"How did he die?" asked my mother.

"Rocky was stabbed by a local pimp known in the area as 'Blue-eyes.' Blue-eyes and your son were shot at close range by an unknown assailant. No one saw anything. No one knows anything. No one is saying anything. That's the way it is down there in that area. I think that Blue-eyes stabbed Rocky for some reason, but I have no idea why. Maybe he was trying to rob them or maybe when the shooting started he thought Rocky was part of the setup. Like I said, wrong place, wrong time."

We went down to the morgue later that night and viewed the body. Tony looked really strange laying there on the cart. It was almost like he was asleep. I kept expecting him to open his eyes and say to me, "I guess you're next, Baby Brother. Get ready for it."

I sort of fell apart after that. My grades at school got so bad that there was no way I was going to graduate, so I dropped out. I took a couple of dead-end jobs just to get enough money to drink and stay drunk and wait for the hand of death to ball itself into a fist and slam me into oblivion like it had Chuck and Dave and Rocky and Tony.

The school had sent me to some counselors who decided that I was over-reacting to my brother's death and tried to help me with grief therapy. Maybe I should have told them about the rape, but I knew that would just put me in jail. After a couple of arrests for this and that I ended up with court-ordered counseling and group therapy that tried the same thing. They kept telling me "You have to let Tony go and move on with your life."

Tony wasn't my problem. In a way I was glad he was dead. The morning after the rape he had pulled me aside and said, "Don't throw away your new outfit, Baby Brother. Some night when I strike out with the girls I might just have you dress up for me and see if you are as good a cocksucker as that black whore was. Hell, if you put on a little makeup, I might pop your brown cherry just to see what it feels like."

And people thought that I was all torn up that he was dead and gone! My problem wasn't that he was dead. My problem was that five of us had raped a young girl and four had died within ten days. Wasn't it obvious who was next? Why plan for college or anything else? I was just keeping time until my day of justice finally came.

Then I went to the AA meeting in the city. Actually, the only reason I was there was that it was winter and I was on the street. The choice was to attend this meeting at the storefront mission or stay out on the street and freeze my ass. Not a hard choice really, but at the meeting I heard them talking about the twelve steps and that one of the steps was to make amends for past wrongs.

When I heard that, an idea began to form in my head. There was no way to un-rape that girl, but maybe if I went to her and explained that it wasn't my idea and that my brother more or less forced me to do what I did to her, she might forgive me. I knew that what I did was wrong, but maybe, just maybe, she would forgive me and the hand of death would be held off for a while.

I stopped drinking and started trying to figure out how to make amends.

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END OF CHAPTER TWO OF FIVE

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CHAPTER THREE OF FIVE

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The price of forgiveness can be very high. What would you be willing to do to be forgiven for something that had been bothering you since you were 18 years old.?

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I had decided that the only way to put my life back together was to find the girl that we had raped and tell her how sorry I was for what we did to her. But how do you find someone that you saw only once ten years ago and who evidently never reported anything to the police?

I got another low-level job as a night dishwasher at a local restaurant and more or less cleaned myself up. Then, after a couple of months, I went to see Detective Brooks. He is the one who had come to the house the night my brother, Tony, was killed. He was still a cop in the downtown precinct, so first thing one Monday morning, I took a bus downtown and told the desk officer that I wanted to talk to Detective Brooks to confess to a crime that I had committed. The officer gave me a very weary look and said, "Sit over there. Detective Brooks will be down to get you in a few minutes."

A few minutes was actually almost an hour and a half, but eventually Detective Brooks came walking in and asked for me. When we got back upstairs to his desk he motioned me to sit down and asked, 'So, what did you do?"

"I raped a girl." I said. "Actually Tony, Rocky, Dave, Chuck, and I raped her."

"Your brother's been dead for over ten years, kid. When did this rape take place." I told him the whole story, including how my brother had made me wear the girl's dress home. I didn't tell him about masturbating on my bed in that dress that night.

"So you want to beg forgiveness, do you? Or is it just that you know the statue of limitations on rape is seven years and you want to brag about what you did because I can't prosecute you?"

"I just want forgiveness," I replied. "I didn't know there was a whatever of whatever on rape. I just want to tell her how sorry I am. Do you know anything about what happened? Do you know who this girl was?"

Detective Brooks laughed and shook his head, "You know, kid, this explains a lot that really didn't fit together about the deaths of your brother and his friends. Yeah, I've got a good idea who this girl is, but she isn't the poor, innocent, little victim you imagine her to be. Her name is Violet Lovejoy, better know as Little Violence. She was one of Blue-eye's girls back then. Today she runs a very exclusive 'escort service' over on Aiken Alley. You can go talk to her, but the only way you are going to get forgiveness out of that ice bitch is if you pay for it. Now, get out of my office and go home and learn how to be a man... or are you still just 'Baby Brother' like everyone called you back then?"

I looked up "escort services" and found "Violet's Exclusive Escorts." It didn't give an address, but it did give a phone number and I called it. "I need to speak to Violet," I explained to the young woman who answered the phone.

"Nobody speaks to Violet on the phone, honey. Too many electronic ears. You tell me what you need to say to her, and I can take care of you."

"No, I have to speak to Violet. I need to ask her to forgive me for raping her in the park ten years ago."

There was a long pause with voices in the background. The young woman then asked, "Is this Baby Brother?"

I answered, "Yes," and she replied, "Just a moment."

Seconds later, a different voice came on the line, "Come to 1137 Aiken Alley. Come alone, and don't park your car near here. Park it at the big parking deck on Adams Street and walk up the hill. Be here tonight at 8:30 on the dot. This is your one chance to speak with me. If you ain't here on time, you missed your one and only chance to find out what really happened to your brother and his three friends."

I couldn't eat at noon or in the evening. I was too nervous. It was only 7:00 o'clock when I parked my car in the parking deck. I walked around downtown for an hour or so, and a little before 8:30, I walked up to Aiken Alley. Technically it was Aiken Street, but it had been a home for houses of prostitution for so many decades that everyone referred to it by the name it had back when these streets were mud and horses pulled fine carriages up the hill to the "sporting houses" on Aiken Alley.

At exactly 8:30, I knocked on the door. A young black girl opened it, looked at me at said, "You must be Baby Brother. Follow me."

She took me to the back of the house and up a long staircase that wound back on itself a couple of times. It felt like we must be on the fourth floor, but the house didn't look that big from the street. We finally reached the top and the girl pressed a large button next to a strange-looking door. A few moments later, a buzzer sounded and the doorway- actually a section of the wall- popped open. The girl grabbed me by the arm. "This way Baby Brother," she said and pushed me through the door. As soon as I was through the opening, I heard it close and lock behind me. The click sounded as loud as any jailhouse cell door that I had ever heard.

The room was very dim, but I could tell that there was a figure sitting at a small desk-like piece of furniture against one of the walls. "So, you are Baby Brother," she said. "What brings you to me, and why shouldn't I kill you like I did your big brother and his friends?"

My knees went weak and I almost fell to the floor. She had killed Tony... and Chuck and Dave and Rocky! "I didn't want to do it that night," I stammered out. "They made me do it, but that doesn't change what I did. I am here to beg your forgiveness and try to make things right."

"You want my forgiveness, do you Baby Brother? Forgiveness has a price. Like in the courts- reparation and punishment." She intentionally pronounced it "rePARartion and PUNishment," and then she smiled at me when I winced.

"I could have killed you at any time in the past ten years- you know that, Baby Brother? I let you live because I knew that you didn't have the balls to rape me. Hell, you could barely even get it up. But forgive you? No way in hell. Unless you are willing to go through what I went through, you can go beg on the street corner for forgiveness, cause you sure as hell ain't getting it from me!"

I tried to stand up as straight as I could and say as firmly as I could- actually I was barely standing and spoke in a quivering voice, "If that's what it takes, I'll do it. I'll do anything to get your forgiveness."

"You sure about that, Baby Brother? Your big brother and his friends put me through an awful lot back in that park. You willing to go through what I went through?"

I lowered my head even further and said, "Yes."

"I'm not sure I heard you. If you really mean that, say it like you mean it, and call me 'Ma'am' when you do!"

I raised my head and spoke as loudly as I could, but it still came out almost a whisper, "Yes, ma'am, I am willing to go through what you went through in order to receive your forgiveness."

"Then get naked!" she yelled.

I looked up at her, and she must have seen the look of shock in my eyes.

"The first thing that happened was they stripped me. Get naked! Now! Do it fast! Just let your clothes drop on the floor where you're standing!"

I started taking off my clothes when suddenly I heard a loud "smack!" and felt the sharp pain of a belt across my buttocks. "Faster, white ass," she yelled as stroke after stoke of a belt pounded my ass and thighs. Finally I was standing naked before her.

"Next time you come here, I want any hair below your neck gone. You got that?" Then she added with contempt in her voice, "Looks like it shouldn't take much to remove what little fuzz you've got!"

I nodded weakly. "Yes ma'am, I will remove any hair below my neck."

"Good, now come over here and give me pleasure with your mouth." She sat down on a small ottoman, lifted her skirt and spread her legs. She was naked beneath the skirt.

I had just knelt before her when the door opened and two young, black girls entered. "This is Baby Brother," Violet said. "I want you to encourage him to be the best cunt-lapper in the world."

I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but then both girls removed their robes and walked naked over to the dresser and took something from the top drawer. Violet grabbed the back of my head and pushed me against her clean-shave pussy. "Lick and suck, Baby Brother, lick and suck... because this doesn't end for you until I cum."

I began licking and sucking and pulling on her clit with my lips and teeth. Her cunt began to respond almost instantly. The smell of her juices was overpowering and I unconsciously backed my head away for just a second. There was a loud double pop-smack as the belts hit my ass. I yelped and groaned and tried to move away from the belts, but Violet pulled me back and said, "Like big brother said to me that night, 'This doesn't stop until I cum, so you had better get with it.'"

I don't know how many times they hit me with the belts. All I could think of was making Violet cum. I realized I was starting to get an erection and a stray thought entered my head, 'You are sucking a whore's cunt while two other whores are beating your ass and you have a hardon that could punch through steel. You are sick!'

I don't know how long I sucked and tongued while the girls swatted, but suddenly it was over. Violet gave a loud, yelling moan and clamped her thighs firmly on my head. I was pressed so hard into her cunt that I couldn't breathe. I was afraid that she was going to kill me by suffocating me when just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Violet pushed me backwards and I fell to the floor.

"Not bad for a skinny white guy, Baby Brother. Next time we are going to re-enact more of what happened on that trail. It's a pity your brother made you wear my clothes home. I woulda kept that dress for just this day and made you wear that dress and thong so I could rip them off you like Tony ripped them off me."

"I still have them," I mumbled. "I don't have them at the apartment above the restaurant. They are still in my closet at my mom's house... along with your shoes."

Violet laughed- a deep solid laugh that made my whole body go cold. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" she said as she continued laughing.

Then her voice got cold and firm again and she spat out, "That's what I want you wearing this Saturday night at 7:00 pm. Just the dress and panties. No shoes, no coat, nothing that covers you up at all. And I want you to park in the big lot downtown. You park on the roof of that parking deck and walk barefoot all the way down on the ramp. Don't take the stairs or the elevator; you take the ramp. And you bring me your parking pass and one of those little reminder cards next to the elevator that say "You are parked on level 8."

"You will come back to the door in the alley where Tina lets you out tonight. Knock on the door and beg me to let you in. I want you to be kneeling there while you say, 'Mistress Violence, your humble slave, Baby Brother, begs to be punished by you.' You had better be very convincing, because if you aren't, I won't let you in, and who knows what kind of people might be lurking in that dark alley."

Violet grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back so I was looking up at her through her legs. Her pussy glistened beneath the short dress that was still hiked-up above her waist. "And remember, if I find ANY hair below your neck, I will make you suffer like you have never suffered before."

She threw me back down to the floor and strode out of the room, smoothing her dress as she walked. One of the naked whores- I guess it was Tina- grabbed my elbow and said, "This way, Baby Brother."

She dragged me by the elbow back down the flights of stairs, and when we reached the landing at the bottom, she pushed a hidden button on the wall and a door in the outer wall of the house popped open. It wasn't until she pushed me through the doorway that I realized that I was still naked.

I was standing there in the alley terrified and naked wondering how I was going to get my car and go home when the door popped open again and the other girl stood there in the doorway holding my clothes. They were all wrapped together in a big bundle. "You might need these, Baby Brother," she said as she threw the bundle out into the middle of the alley. I watched as they landed ten feet away in puddle of muddy water.

Before I could turn back towards the door, it closed once again, and the light above the door went out, leaving me in almost total darkness. I just stood there for several minutes more or less in shock. Then as my eyes got used to the blackness, I walked over to my now sodden clothes and slowly pulled them on. My belt was gone as well as my underwear. They probably had used my own belt on me upstairs, and evidently overlooked my underwear as they picked up the clothing.

As I began to walk back down the hill to where I had parked my car, I realized that the lack of underwear was probably not an accident. The wet jeans rubbed against my ass with each step I took and it wasn't long before I was taking very small painful steps as the denim scraped against the welts from the whipping I had just received.

By the time I got to the car I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I looked around and seeing noone nearby, stripped off the jeans and got into the car naked from the waist down. The seat felt cold against my raw asscheeks, but at least it wasn't wet and it wasn't denim. I don't know if the lady in the booth could see that I was naked from the waist down as I paid the parking fees, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get home and go up to my apartment and jerk off.

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END OF CHAPTER THREE OF FIVE

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CHAPTER FOUR OF FIVE

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Baby Brother finds out what the true cost of forgiveness might be.

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I was still in bed the next morning when there was a knock on the door of my apartment. When I opened it, a rather large, but very beautiful black woman stood there holding a shopping bag. "A package from Miss Violet," she said sweetly. "She said you probably know what to do with it, but just in case there are written instructions."

She handed me the bag and left. Inside the sack was an enema bag, a couple of bottles of some sort of liquid laxative, several bottles of hair remover, and a large butt plug. Yeah, I had a pretty good idea what I was supposed to do with it, but I figured I'd better read Violet's instructions anyway.

"Baby Brother," it read, "I don't want any nicks or cuts on that white skin of yours, so use this cream to take off what little hair you have. Use it tonight, and then repeat it on Friday night- not during the day Saturday, I don't want you coming to me stinking of this shit. Use the purgative on Thursday. It will totally clean you out. Don't eat anything solid on Friday, or Saturday, and Saturday morning, you give yourself five enemas. It should run clear after two, but you do all five or I will know. There is lipstick, eye liner and eye shadow in the bag along with a remover. You practice putting that on every morning and every night. I want it to be perfect when you get here Saturday. And no jerking off starting tomorrow. You can pump yourself dry all you want today, but I want your balls full when you get here Saturday."