All Comments on 'Frank and Elyse'

Very nice but a distraction from shepherds and gallivanting around the galaxy.

Really like your writing and this story to me shows a lot of empathy towards the characters you're creating. I'm a sucker for a great romance, complications and then a nice ending. Like the previous comment, I also hope that the Ben Shepherd and Jack characters have more stories to tell too. Cheers.

Excellent writing, a great story line and very much a reality check without too much of a stretch.

BRAVO!!! Keep 'e coming!!

It would be great for the story to continue to have him meet his ex with the new woman in his life with a child or two and have the ex not have had a great life.

Like always bloody perfect

Have been enamoured with your stories since I discovered you and this one is no exception...another terrific tale well written...soooo fine!!!!!

Yet another beautiful moving story from you!

Another fine story. Lots of love, connection, and romance. Thank you.

Enjoyable read.

Regarding the point-of-view switches: I found the repetition of text to be distracting. You express the shifts very well; the repetition is not needed. Alternatively, you might limit the repeated text to just one, two, or three paragraphs.

Once again a story that draws us into the lives involved. Please keep writing.

Great story, I have read over and over again. Did not, at first understand why you wrote the story from two view points, then I understood. Two characters, both complex, both hurt and needed to heal, done very well. Sad when the story ended, chapter 2?

I liked the story and the different perspectives BUT the reparative text was, well, repetitive. Switching perspectives is fine but just do one and then do the next segment, key word next segment, from the other viewpoint.

I, too, find the repetition of the narrative when the point of view changes to be a distraction. Honestly, I find the many POV changes to be distracting, too. A story this short can be told from a single POV. Why not commit to Frank's POV and when you need to bring out something from Elyse's perspective, have her bring it up in dialog. My constructive comments notwithstanding, I enjoyed this story a lot. It is the most grown-up of your stories to date.

well even though the point of view was a lil repetitive it was very interesting (polite word for cool ) seeing it through the characters pov. anway like to nearly loved the read. because i didnt put it down , um thought it was a little short but all in all awesome stuff , always enjoy your world and big fan <(@^_^@)>

Really enjoyed this well done story. A bit of Ben, a bit of Edward, but not so much as to be a distraction (at least he was not built like a horse).

Nice to see the woman's side of the story as well, it made it much more intimate than either Ben or Edward stories.

The Ben saga is becoming so massive, I can see why you need to step away from it and regroup.

And what could be a better way to refresh your mind than to write another tale from the universe of Jack Danner?

Wow! That's 55 stars and not a single one an exaggeration. You go good work and I am impatiently waiting for Ben's next set of moves. This story could stand another chapter about the renovation of the houses and their lives with some frustration of the nosy, horny neighbors. Toss in a screwing of Frank's ex and it will be great.

Just please, don't get sidetracked by anything like working for a living or other such nonsense because I am waiting for the next chapter of "The Shepard."

Simply wonderful.

Maybe Frank and Elyse could run into Stephanie on his book signing tour, where they discover she is a washed up quote milf unquote porn star.

She's too old, too unpleasant and too fake to be a trophy wife after all.

Living well may be the best revenge, but only if you can rub their nose in it.

This was great and full of unexpected twist. The characters had a lot of spunk and the story was very well written with few if any grammatical errors. Keep it up and write more stories like this one.

What a brilliant story! There were times ya had me laughing so hard! The story and character development was lovely. From beginning to end, it was a lovely journey. Thank you!

This had me laughing out loud at the awkward situations we have all faced during our lives. I look forward to reading the rest of your stuff, and keeping track of your work.

Thank You!

I'd been putting off reading this as it was a short story and i prefer longer, i should have known better. You are an awesome writer who fills the story with excellent dialogue and touches of humour and other emotions in just the right places, A truly wonderful read, I've read everything else you've written now i'm just waiting for more, keep up the good work please :)

Tazzy

This is such a beautiful story !! I just wish I could find so much happiness as they seem to have found !! I am trapped in loveless relationship where there is no love and no intimacy and hasn't been for a long time !!

I've read all of the longer stories of BurntRedstone's, and this was just as enjoyable. I definitely liked the change of pace from harem erotica. I like the other stories, but sometimes you just want to read a nice 1on1 romance. I don't know why I put off reading this one!

How great it is to see an author's name and immediately become excited to read a new story. I read this story on another site and was thrilled when I saw BurntRedstone and of course this story here. I see there is more to read than I had at the other site and I am THRILLED! Thanks!

This is the 4th of yours stories I read.

At first, I thought it would be a sex story and nothing more, but as I read it, I could see that this story might have gone into the romance section with no problem whatsoever.

A great job.

Thanks for sharing.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

A chicken paella with sausage?

Nahh, a paella can carry chicken, rabbit, vegetables, fish or even better, with seafood. The chorizo does not improve the paella, the taste is excessively strong. However, the author has come up with one of the key points of a good paella, saffron. Maybe you've been on holiday in Spain?

I continue to apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

I read A LOT to de-stress. If you aren't published you might want to look into that as hard as that can be (no pun intended!) Many published authors have some serious yummy sex scenes in their stories....get a good publisher and flesh this out some more. But good story! And I'm brand new to this site. Had no idea it existed until a few days ago.

5* for this story

i liked that this frank character doesnt end up sleeping with all these women

i realy liked the pov switching and unlike others here, didnt find it bothersome at all...to each his own i guess.

very well written again. bravo!

A beautiful story, I wanted it to keep going! You had me hook, line, and sinker.

Please continue this story. I very much want to see what comes next for Frank and Elyse.

Cra$h73

Excellent story hope to see another chapter

Yet anther great story from you. I was sad to finish it, but even though it stands on it's own, you have more than enough to carry on with multiple parts if you want to, and on a personal note, I hope you do

Where it turns out his ex either dies from some fatal STD or lead poisoning from someone who isn't keen on her fucking their husband/bf/whatever...

Or better yet, having to survive after the divorce from the current sugar daddy and get by when her surgeries come back to bite her in numerous places...

Truly another amazing story and it would be great if you would continue this story. Show us how they start their own family and maybe how she and her family reunite.

I was almost crying

A woman who's been used up by two jocks and is past her prime catches a quality guy who is doing well for himself both physically and financially using his lack of emotional standing while he's still raw from his divorce.

Truly a feminists wet dream.

I so badly wanted the ex wife to come back and apologise.....

Like she should.. What she did was so unfair!!!

She was such a BITCH!!!!!

offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote. Annony is just a reatrds, a fat ugly fag fool!

This was great to read. A lot of raw emotions....

Josie

Your ability to evocatively tell a deeply romantic story never ceases to amaze and enthrall me. My on!y complaint is that the tale is too short. I could have lived with this romance and these characters for a much longer time. Thank you.

Sadly I really couldn't stand Elyse.

Plot and dialog are professional. Thank you.

My God!! You write so amazingly well. Loved this so much!!! Please, from the bottom of my heart, write a sequel to this!!

With most of the comments but I would love a sequel maybe about starting a family etc.

,.. and then he fell out of bed and awoke,.. it was all a dream,.. a most beautiful dream that just couldn't be reality.

I am so happy that you did not undo their coupling, and let them find their happiness. Thank you, for this story and the many others that you have shared with us. You are a terrific teller of tales.

Good enough that I suppressed some misgivings about Frank and gave it 5 stars anyway. For a successful and apparently skilled negotiator he seems to lack a lot of insight in his personal dealings. Well anyway it's good to see a nice guy that didn't finish last.

Would have liked a chapter detailing Stephanie's comeuppance! The slut bitch deserved a karmic visit. Well written and a very nice plot. 5*s.

This feels like a part 1 of 2. Excellent work, 5 stars. Very much hoping for a part 2!

I like the basic story very much. I think it is cheapened by the repeated use of the F word. Your characterization of both the main characters has them not swearing much. Overusing the F word in sex is trite and out of character. There are many other words that can be used with more effect, and they are more likely to sound more natural. Using the F word so often loses the shock value, and then it degrades the scene you are using it in. You are a much better writer who does not need to rely on the trite and common words that take so much from your work.

V this guy’s never said fuck while fucking?? Wack.

I 1000000% totally 100% seriously agree with that other anon, wayyyyy too many fucks during their first few times fucking around. Like why the fuck didn't you use fudge? Don't you know impressionable kids will read this and assume it's okay to say fuck when a babe is deepthroating them?

For real though, you shine on these one on one romance stories, while they're not perfectly written from a technical standpoint and they can be a little corny and rushed in places, they're absolutely adorable in their unending drive towards romance.

I thoroughly enjoyed this one, well done.

First, the story was good enough for me to complete reading it, which doesn’t happen with many Literotica stories that I start. However, for me, there were some problems which made it a 3* when it could have been 5*. There was too much waffle. Do we need to know what recipe Frank was cooking and then the precise method? I think that the story could have been edited down by 50-60% without losing anything. Less is more as they say. If Frank was so wealthy, why did he have to paint his own house? More important, the speed of the plot is breathtaking. Frank meets Elyse, beds her, and before the week is out she is planning to have his baby! Considering that Frank has been traumatised by his ex-wife, why is he jumping from the frying pan into the fire by bedding Elyse, who could be ‘poison ivy’ despite her glamorous looks, especially as she lives so close? I don’t think that this would happen in real life - she lives too close for comfort if the relationship goes ‘belly up’. Apart from that, the story is fine, but not exceptional.

BurntRedstone's story left Frank with neglected very burnt red sauce. Very good story. FIVE*****

Totally unbelievable... two freshly divorced, severely abused people on the rebound hooking up, finding true love, and a stable relationship... absolute hogwash... another divorce in the making.

I find it ironic that the "Anony" crowd, (not all, you know who you are) are always the ones with the biggest (pettiest) gripes.

Here's an idea, try paying for a book.

Do I feel it's perfect? That story doesn't exist. It's better than 4.5, so round up.

5 stars.

Liked it very much. Would like to know what happen to them and what happened to his ex. Some more hit and steamy sex between Frank Nd Elyse would be great.

Thanks for the grilled cheese recipe!

You are one of the best writers I have read in a long time!

10+

10*

As far as I’m concerned, this story was a grand slam!

Too dang good! Thanks!

Excellent story! Excellent Author! Thank you. 5 BIG FATS SPARKLING STARS!

Once again, you set the standard.

Top,top story yet again.

Great story, fancy a sequel, where we get real glimpses into Frank's background, why he's so quiet.

Just read this again, liked it even more.

Simon Masters

I was hoping Michael would show up and make things interesting and wasn't disappointed. Either that or Frank's ex and Elyse get into a catfight somehow.

I have no idea why I hadn't read this one? Man , I'm glad I finally did, it was as good as I expect from you.

Great story. Love to read a sequel.

Third read. Still love it!

WOW! This was SUCH a GREAT read.... beautiful story!

Poor man. 40 years old and never had oral sex?

Just an excellent read and great storytelling. Some of the critical comments some have made are ridiculous and irritating. I am a fan for life!

Excellent Read. Good strong characters. They have their faults & issues to over come makes for a really, really good story. Thank you!

I don't know what your "test" was with this story(i think/believe it's the view from both MC's) but i think you nailed it!! These two caracters deserve another part...

Could've gone in romance ... just saying. Characters were fantastic, damaged and flawed, yet surprisingly resilient.

The honesty in their relationship was the basis for a bond of trust. I thought her physical appearance was going to send of the rails, but you dealt with the issue by using his strength and her kindness and vulnerability to deal with it well. As always, love your work. You were one of my first favorites on the site and you NEVER let me down. KUDOS!

Don Romine

I think you got it right too. Good writing skills helps. Wonderful characters.

Loving, sexy, broken but accepting, building life together.... excellent! Thank you.

Another 5 BIG ASS STARS!

💯💯💯🙋🙋🙋💯💯👍👍👍✌️✌️😉😁

Difficult to write a better love story. Kudos.

Great story. It should have been the start of a new series. Those other bored wives and his professional "organizing skills" could have created another of those semi-harem tails. Hopefully that will hppen. Certainly would be good fodder for an Amazon series.

A wonderful story.

Part 2... the She- wolves attack...

Part 3... Stephanie tracks him down...

Part 4... Honeymoon hijinks.

LoL.... ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

another wonderful read 💯 but I hope you’ll leave this story as it is with only Frank and Elyse’s romance. Don’t want no harem situationships like some are commenting here 🤦🏻

Not giving up and being true to oneself and to each other. If they have developed rapport and love, its because they earned it through honesty, due diligence and giving.