by ilikeithot6308
why didnt his family notice when he was gone for so long during the school week before he graduated
Is there going to be a part 3 to this story? Maybe they get married?
Loved the series so far. The writing is tight, intelligent and really really fucking sexy. I hope there's a third chapter where they get married and continue their adventure. If there is, I think you need to play up the older woman angle more given that's the category the story is in. At the end of the second chapter, you didn't get that May/September aspect any more. They were simply a hot couple who loved to fuck.
I love this it's awesome and I can't wait for part three I hope their will be a part three and I'm glad I took French class now albeit I understood a little bit only because I got kicked out early but I hope I'm fluent in French when chap three comes out. merci
And so well written! I hope you'll continue with this story, it's so good!
Thank you!
This really was an excellent story, with just a little suspension of disbelief we get roped up in a HOT tale. This is only the 3rd story of yours I read and I am now looking forward to a lot more.
If there is one little nagging, however, it is the French. I applaud the attempt, however unfortunately the French sentences are rarely correct (grammatically) and even if they were there are various glitches (jumping from "vous" to "tu" is a no-no in general, and using "vous" which is formal in the middle of a fucking session is a bit weird). If you'd like to fix that little issue in Partie Une and Partie Deux then I would be willing to assist; not much qualifications, just being a native French speaker.
I like most of your stories, but I didn't like this one. The fact that the woman he loves, and who claims to love him, basically manipulates him into getting another woman pregnant is kind of sick, and the fact that this is made light of in the story doesn't help.
What man would be ok with not being able to be a father to his child, none that I know of.
I know that I would be more upset about the trickery in fathering the baby if it was done to me.
But then there is this:
A woman gave a man a blowjob
Spit the ejaculate into a turkey baster
Squirted it into her vagina
Became pregnant and gave birth to a child
Stuck the man with paying child support
I've read most of your stories. I love this one. The lesbian story stream is cool. Michelle character was great (her relationship with Niola was riveting).
Do you have another chapter in mind?
The situations and events contained within the story although bordering on plausible are just pure fantasy and the human mind doesn't react as cleanly as everything happened. The incident where Niole (I kept reading it as 'Nicole' in my head) was attacked by the room-mate, 'Mike', I think was just brushed off and not dealt with very well. I mean, you'd either be really fucking angry with him and assault or press charges or you'd offer to get him some help as that could be the precursor to further incidents from him. Then I think that the foray into the lesbian history of the protagonists lover should have elicited a little more interest and questioning from the MC (who I think doesn't have a name, at least not that I can remember), as it's not just an old friend coming to visit, but an "ex". At least to me, that would have suggested trouble but I've always been a little insecure. Then you have the event where Niole walks in to the bedroom with Michelle without discussing anything previously and I'd be a little put out. Then with all the subsequent events and the protagonists reactions were so tame it was almost like he was neutered. There was no outbursts, no discussions about what was happening, it was just engineered for an outcome which I felt was a little disappointing considering your obvious writing skill.
Nevertheless, I like the story and enjoyed the read. I think you could have put a little bite in to the story to make it more believable and push the readers investment but it worked in a erotic situation kind of way. I think you can do better though, so I'll keep reading your submissions. Keep it up!
I didn't care for the Michelle character. She's a shrew and not likable. Such a bitch by tricking him into impregnating her. I would have been REALLY pissed at both of them. So so on the lesbian and anal action. Seems like the story wasn't quite finished.
Oh, yeah, it was a pain in the ass having to translate all the French crap.
For those reasons only four stars.
Great story. I think he should have been pissed about being tricked unto impregnating her. Ok for him to accept it, but initial reaction was a bit off. 2nd, I think its bitchy of them not to kiss him. If hi GF can do it, then so can he since they're already sharing juices. Lastly, how about a TY from the new moms for all he/they did? I was torn between 4 and 5, but still gave it a 5.