All Comments on 'Friends & Family Ch. 02'

...all the spelling and grammar mistakes make it hard to read, and your inconsistencies from Ch 1 to Ch 2 are annoying. It would be one thing if this were just a nice jerk off fantasy story, but since you have put it into chapters you need to keep me interested in the *story*, Get an editor before you post Chapter 3 or you will lose readers.

the vcr wasnt out in 1971 it was much later

wede, You have to tell the grade three student who edits your work to be a little more on the ball. Very difficult to follow this.

While the story seems interesting and shows promise there are so many story holes, grammatical errors and historical problems it makes your story hard to read and plain annoying. You should pull, edit and re-release these.

OMFG she needs to get to a doctor and get that checked out!

agree with everyone. You really need to polish your editing skills.

First of all your spelling sucks. And this was really happened to you? Is a laugh.

Like someone else said there were NO VCRs in 1971. Second you said the late 60s HELLO it's suppose to be 71 the 60's are over. And now he has a 14 inch cock. Make us all happy pull these stories rewrite them. Or better yet STOP writing all together

definition of organism - An individual living thing that can react to stimuli, reproduce, grow, and maintain homeostasis. It can be a virus, bacterium, protist, fungus, plant or an animal.

Two stars at best

Its bad enough when authors insist on their characters having 12" dicks, but you my friend, can't seem to remember what outragious size you gave the boy. At one time or another he had a 12 inch, then 11' and finally 13 inches. Put that on top of bad spelling & grammar suggests you need to reevaluate this complete story. Make it somewhat readable & believable.

Even though you have 7 chapters in this series, I can't read any farther. Your spelling and grammar is horrendous! Women and men have "orgasms" when they climax, not "organisms". Our main character has gone from having a 12" cock to a 14" one?? WTF??

and if she keeps having organisms she will get a yeast infection.

sorry, but google translate is not working for you.

or maybe you have been enjoying too much of the king's weed

wtf, last chapter he fluctuated between 11" and 12", but overnight he graduates to 14"

really? buy the end of the weak he will bee 18"

cock size changes from 12 to 11 to 14?

It would be better if the length of his dick didn't keep changing. I love the story but that and the many writing errors are distracting.

For the read.

His dick goes from 12 to 11 to 14 inches. Make your mind up.

Right where do I start, oh yeah for your story line I did give you 5 stars, but for the rest with your spelling and grammar fuck ups I'd be giving you a minus 20. Pull all your stories and redo them all with the correct spelling and grammar and remember if you start with a 12 inch cock it's a 12 inch cock and not a 11 inch and 14 inch cock, fuck when I was in school when I was a kid spelling was one of my worst subjects but I think I would make sure of my spelling and grammar on this site GET HELP with your editing kingswede as I don't think I'll be able to handle the rest of the chapters if the spelling and grammar in those are the same. Oh yeah one more thing everybody who's commented on your statement about the VCR in 1971 are correct, as I should know as I was in South Vietnam at that time and we sure didn't have videos to watch then, so with that goodbye.

i've gotten this far into this series, but will not be finishing. it isn't worth my time to read such lazy writing with so many stories that have been proofread and checked. you need to work on understanding point of view and when to use first person and second person pronouns. in dialogue, you wouldn't use he, her, him or she to speak to the person that you are referring to. also, continuity is all over the map, and grammar and punctuation are pretty poor as well.

Your style of writing incredibly poor. You also can't seem to decide if your dick is 12", 11" or 14". You drive your reader completely crazy!

You killed the story at the start with ridiculous breast size.

There is a significantly large difference between fantasy, or in this instance absurdity.

She just stroked it and stroked it till I shot a load that FILLED THE BRA CUP she was holding over my cock.

You appear to be educated. Find/compute the volume of the bra cup you typed. Compare that volume to the maximum volume of ejaculated semen, one time, that has been recorded, 30 ml.

If I encounter another of these asinine comments I'll stop reading and go to someone who doesn't believe he has to see how absurd he can type. Based on some of the other comments typed, I'm surprised this typist didn't say the boy had a 2 foot penis with a circumference the size of his thigh.

gave her a kiss that placed my tongue half way down her throat.

The boy in the story couldn't get his tongue half way into her much less her throat.