by nikopheros
By titling this "Ch 01" you're promising further chapters; indeed, the implication is the number will reach two digits. This is an enticing first installment. You would benefit from the help of a friend who would proofread and edit (an English major, most likely). But this is promising.
A good start. I'll reserve judgment after I've read the next installment.
I liked this, simple plot used in quite a few stories, but you put just that little bit into it that made it really good, part 2 ? I hope.
A typical plot, but is well-written, A long led into the sex scene which was well done, but too short. The dialogue was good, and Chris' internal dialogue was right on.
Looks like the cliff hangers are exclusive to the series category - sigh.
Good story with lots of potential too.