by BenevolentDCC
Now that is one hell of an erotic way to play a game!!!! Really hope there is more chapters available soon.
Simply amazing! Very erotic. One of the best written erotic stories I have EVER read! I can't wait for more chapters!
Absolutely fantastic writing! Can't wait for part 2! You are an exceptional writer.
Sooooooo, Chapter 2? Today, maybe? This is the kind of erotic story you read to your SO as you both are emulating the story!
Top tier my friend, top tier!
I can only say wow. Such exquisite write is rare. As I read, I felt the passion, the love, the romance, with the erotica. It moved me hard.
Please write chapter 2 soon. Can't wait.
What a vivid imagination you have. There were a few grammatical errors but not enough to diminish you sibling tale. The addition of all these women only enhanced your tale. Please do not keep us hanging for chapter 2.
Game Night Pt 2 is pending approval. Keep your eyes out.
A serendipitous typo perhaps foreshadowing the Rapture to come? I personally enjoy some of the so-called 'mistakes' and 'errors' so deplored by a few of my fellow Société Anonyme members. They lead to wonderfully off-beat images and ideas for plots, causing me to have started writing and hopefully to contribute here if I can only choose among all the user names I've come up with, and became a real member instead of an anonymous unwashed.
...although I didn't see the three girls showering together adding anything to the story, as if the idea is to pleasure Owen, save it for him and make these females full hetero. I also don't see the 'tasting' part adding anything, as that's bi when the premise is basically 'fuck Owen several different ways.' I realize this is fiction, but still...females will always get jealous of other females bonding with their 'man.' Finally, their pledge mutated into something far removed from their original one, and the original one was more to the point and therefore more open within reason--actually the original sounded more fun.
Suspending that, the premise (having Owen on the part of many) was very unique, as I've not read a premise of the sort to date. You revealed how they felt and why, which some authors ignore or barely address; you also set up the situation in a novel way, although not quite consistent with the premise. You detailed each female's experience painstakingly (and yes, even Owen's). Very titillating and very arousing.
I realize Ch. 2 is already written, but I hope some of these hiccups will be addressed in installments beyond that. It almost seems like it would have been better to have maybe 2-3 page chapters regarding each of the women, with half as the backstory, then half about their individual experience with the 'game' on Owen. Still, I rated this a 5.
There are NEVER enough excellant longer stories! Moving to Pt. 2 now. Keep up the good work.
Erotic but there a lot of missing connecting words and extra (alternate) words where you obviously changed your mind or reworded the sentence.
I was reading this on the mobile Lit app. It seemed to be a very short story (10 pages on the app). When I got the the end (the Barbie Girl text) with the reply of "we all love the idea", the story ended. Part 2 seemed to jump way ahead.
I had to look it up on the PC to see that this story is MUCH longer. You may want to contact support.
Story is so erotic I do not know if my cock can survive.
Best story ever
.......nit picking has been completely ignored, by me anyway. 5*
Is actually erotica! While most stories on this sight i would classify as more porn/sex stories than erotica, and some are slightly erotic, this amount of paseing, an damn near foreplay. wheew
I've read the entire series and I intend to follow you in order to enjoy the continuing saga. Your writing and this story is absolutely captivating. Such beautiful detail. The range of emotions you evoke in your characters is amazing. Thank you for letting us into your beautiful mind.
I'm not partial to harem settings and I believe that only a woman is the best possible lover for another woman.. but the imagination and skill that went into this story is unbelievable. Plus, you're one of the few writers who put proper emphasis on smell and taste.
I had to put in extra effort to figure out how everyone looked as the story moved on, but it was worth it. With a glacial pace and gradual increase in lust, with the bare minimum of action you managed to push all of my buttons.
Not sure I have the time to read through the whole epic tale, but if I do, I'm hoping for more of the same, twisted just a bit more, but also spiced up with more conflict (internal or between the characters).
I've read a lot, but this story is up there among the best.
For a start to a series I've been very restrained and decided to leave a comment (my first ever) after the first part. Such a great display of prowess with words. It has left me wanting so much more! (Just like the characters)
Premise is a little shaky but the story is so hott and erotic it doesn't matter i damn near orgasmed reading it never touching myself. Can't wait to read the rest.
Time shifts, narrative shifts, POV shifts, and all without a single extra space to let you know
The build up is incredible! So hot. Can't wait to read the rest!
The story and pacing is superb but the errant mistakes littered throughout along with the lack of clarification where a scene ends or a perspective switched makes for a confusing read in parts. If you were to get someone to read through this and edit/proofread this for you it would be near perfect.
The character progression so far is good and the pacing and buildup is great, it's only the technical aspects that really need to be worked on. Other than that, top marks!
I'm not sure if anyone else has been reading this through the app, but it cuts off after Owen gets the phone call when he gets back to his car after buying liquor. It completely cuts out the entirety of the first game. If the author reads this, she might want to bring the issue up with the website administrators to see if they can get it fixed as if I have this issue, others might as well and it would negatively impact against more than just benevolent DCC
if the rest of the chapters are anywhere near as good as this I think I shall die.
I so want to be this chap, except, I do not have a sister.
twenty five stars
I agree with some of the others about the structure, Changing POV etc without proper grammar. Starting with page 2 it got hard to read.
The structure was a little on and off, and normally I'm not into Incest stories....
but this was a well thought out beginning part. This was hot, and mean I edged for like a solid hour reading this and blew a massive load hot. I wish I have girls like this growing up.
Its a good story that shows the importance of telling the story to stir the primal lust (which is why most women like stories to imagine) instead of the wam bam visuals guys need to get off. Keep up the great work!
Hot damn! That Owen is sure fortunate! Wowza! one of the best stories I've read on here!