by Cerasi
dude how you going to stop there come on you gotta make more finish the stroy you left me hanging
Please post chapter 2 soon.
It ended way too soon. If it had been a little longer, it would have gotten a 100. As it is, it gets a 75.
Beautiful tale! (But I already said that!). Different plot than any other I have read. A sequel is definitely needed; please do that soon! I loved it.
It definitely needs a sequel. I hope you get around to writing it someday.
... at least a second part so we know what they did once they found out. I really liked this and not knowing what is to happen next will drive me nuts.
A well written story. absolutly needs a sequel. And is made all the more intricate by the fac this can happen and is a true affliction
I'm glad you never added to the story, fiction story with a grain of truth behind
Well done overall. Seems set up for a part 2, don't u think? If so, might need to work on the transitions in location, and probably expanding on details. A few mins in a bar leading to a quick love session is OK for short stories... not so for multiple part stories.
....tears of happiness and joy, she had finally found her brother!
....and they lived happily, ever after.
The end.