All Comments on 'George and Shawna Ch. 03'

very stupid story

If nothing else, JPB's stories have been consistently decent in terms of having good grammar and few typos. But not this one. A few paragraph in, there's a confusing change of scene where the "she" in one sentence (Carol) becomes a different "she" in the next one (Shawna) with no clue as to the change, or even any mention of Shawna's name. I had to reread the section a couple of times to understand what was happening. And there are many other errors too, including a strange shift near the end of the story from third person to first person. I'm not gonna comment on the content 'cos the story isn't over, but I think this should be edited and resubmitted to fix some atypical errors.

This segment did not advance the story, just more same ole...

It is really hard to see a satisfactory outcome.

George is still trying to <b>CANCEL</B> what happened. WHY? There are NO time machines. His obession with that idea shows why George cant move on and reality wont let him or the wife go back.

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The wife still does NOT get IT. <b>Learning that his wife WANTS to be submissive for Othern men but NOT for him... KILLS any chance for ANY sort of reconciliation. It goes to the very nature of the sexual roles of men and woman. </b>

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as shawna ADMITTED (to her credit) IF George had tried THAT with her she would of 1) tried to KILL him by caving his skull in with a frying pan... 2) left him for dead and.... 3) left the marriage.

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But she really still loves George right?

ROTFLMAO!!!

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George gets BLAMED for being suspicous? sorry JPB. This isnt going to work. The scene where George forces himself on Shawna ia absurd.

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While George's assumptions about where and what his whore wife was doiung are reasonble George's actions are completely Out of the character.

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But the wife says <i>Bullshit George! If you were talking to me you would have known where I was going to be and who I was going to be with.</i>

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Back up folks. Shawna called HIM-re-read the story. <b> Given that she finally sees she has done wrong and CLAIMS to be TRYING to fix things... it is upon her to tell him what she is doing EVERYTIME she is out until some sort of trust re-develops.</b> Shawna doesnt see that. She acted as if they still had a loving trusting marriage

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Yet George says : <i> I should have known that there was a legitimate reason for her being out </i>.

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In the immortal words of John McEnroe "You cannot be fucking serious !!!"

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How can anyone get past the idea that shawna wants to be fucked submissively by other men but actually threatened to KILL George if he tried the same thing ?

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Beats me.

This story exists because JPB created it and I am reading it because I know that writes well, is very creative and likes to stand reality on its head... Therefore I kept reading even after she grossed me out with the bit of her riding him to her orgasm and then telling him that it was a creampie. I would have committed murder at that point... Then again I would not have been able to have that horrifying experience because I would have moved out after the info that she did it again in the morning and divorced her... So what I am saying is that I am reading JPB's story and it does not matter what I would like or anyone else would like to have happen. It is there to be enjoyed or not. I think I am enjoying, but if he starts closet watching.....

In chapter 04 George & Shawna have sex and make up. They both get BACK together.<p>She still lies to George -- She says she'll go straight home, BUT she FUCK Mel TWO TIMES in his car. The only good thing about the story will be -- At the very end Glen is brutaly attack, his knees are broken & he uses cane to walk<p/><p>Shawna resigns from her job & gets a new one. They have sex & Then they live happily ever after. Stupid SULT Never brings the topic of the night with Glen in the hotel<p/><p>This is a fucked up story & a total waste of time<p/>

Another JPB wimp/cuckold story. The only difference is, this one has multiple chapters. Neither of these characters should be married. She went out and got taken advantage of and basically got raped, but she went back for more because she like it. Kick her cheating ass to the curb. He decides to even the score because of his sister's advice. What a screwed up and unbelievable story. Do they actually think that there children are clueless as to what is going on? This is worse than your usual wimpy stories because you keep victimizing the children in this crap.

I'm really afraid he's gonna wimp, but I'm hoping Shawna will fuck up again preventing George from reconciliation. Worst case; she fucks up and George accepts it and decides he likes cream pie, and wants to watch.

Read my first comments (Advance). Is what going to happen. This story was first published on StorieOnline.com. He's going to take the slut back & she Lies again.

ago, the woman is pure trash. Anything and anyone to excuse her lack of judgement and infidelity to her marriage. Its never her fault. And even after coming home from fucking a man, as you will see, she lies as long as it serves her purpose. Drive to Mexico and dump her ass at a Mexican whorehouse they will know how and what to do to keep her iun come and happy. Good men that marry trash need to learn to recycle ASAP after all these women do know how to trade up and wont hesitate for a minute.

George's behaviour reminds me of our neighbor's 2 year old son who cries when you take his <i>Iceman<i /> away from him. Same thing with George -- He's crying that Shawna gave her ass to her lover and not to him (Why is that a same old plot used by everyone)<p>It sounds like recounciliation is in full progress, I don't mind, but you <i>Should<i /> give a <b>VALID<b /> reason -- <B>WHY<B />this couple should stay together<p /><p>This chapter just went downhill. Both of them are playing a <i>game<i /> in which no one will be a winner<p /><p>Shawna was and is still a liar. She didn't mention about the night she had sex with Glen in Mariott hotel<p /><p>It looks like both are <b>NOT<b />married for 16 years, but are some 16 year old kids. I pity their girls<p /><p>I can give a very good example on such a topic, but maybe other time<p />

I didn't particularly like this one. However, it takes a writer with ability to fully bring out Harry's hysterical and bombastic rhetoric.

it is all her fault that she is in that position anyway....and after all why shouldnt he get extra pussy ....or in carols case ass also....she would never let him ...so now shawna should realize tha tif she gets him he should be able to have some fun on the side till they are even....as he said this went on for a year ....so dont you think he should be able to fuck the both of them also for another year....but shawna should tell him that her ass is his when he wants it and be sorry that he got his first ass somewhere else...and maybe even another one or two

How many stories you have written? 3, right? JPB got 100 times MORE stories than you. How dare you write him off? You are just a new "kid" on this site. You can only reach till Bob's balls & lick it, forget sucking him off, SLUT. Just by commenting in paragraph, bold, italic doesn't make you "special". If you don't like such stories, fine, don't read them. I liked the story so far & it's good to see George giving some thoughts & I hope they get back together. Good job Bob

Bullshit is still bullshit. It doesn't matter if it's one, one hundred, or one thousand.

I thought the story was very well presented, and fast moving. It sure as hell kept my attention and makes me want to read more on this subject. I don't know what else you could have done any different to please some of the readers, so maybe you ought to keep writing how you think the story should be. That's been working for you for a long time. Thanks for this good chapter of a very hot series.....Rich

JPB does a great job with his corner of the LW erotica world. He draws characters a reader can recognize and situations we know or know about. And he does it with a style that is readable and approachable. Liking or agreeing with a character's choices is apparently not an impediment to drawing in readers who routinely trash his writing. This must mean they really like reading his stuff, so that they can trash it! But JPB knows what he is doing and most of his readers appreciate it.

Like the story alot, and I do like the change in line you have taken in your stories of late, where the guys stands up ,,,and I LOVE the way your stories rub these "critics" fur the wrong way! lol

....she doesn't come totally clean,you'll see-pistolpackinpete

...end this. It is not bad, not your best and certainly not even close to your worst. However, it is time for it to end. Shoot it and bury it in your always amusing fashion.

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I find it difficult to fantom a guy as evil and cruel as George so I rated this chapter 1*.

The word is "FATHOM" You fucking cunt.

what shit is this man!!! there is a specific reason i or anyone else reads yr story.

george believes that his wife has never lied to her except for the first night of cheating.

but what about the second night with glen and the shit she pulled after coming home. didn't she held the whole truth (lie) about the KY gel business. she did fuck that glen guy that day.

i recommend that u make necessary changes in the story

-a fan

nuff said

George is a fucking monster, he want to hurt your own daughters wait after they left, he have a lot of problems, mind problems.

“I had more orgasms that night than at any other time in my life.”

That’s kiss of death for me.

If she can’t take things he should let her move out.

And giving him her ass, I don’t care how “submissive” she is, when she wouldn’t do it for her husband is fatal; and where was this “submissive” side when her HUSBAND who she supposedly LOVES so much wanted to try anal?

“If you had treated me that way I would tied you to the bed, beat you with a cast iron frying pan and then have packed a bag and been gone in a heart beat.”

So he can’t even blame himself for being too weak, she’s admitting that she wouldn’t have stood for that kind of treatment from him!

About half way thru this chap I was so GD mad at the entire story! That hasn't happened for a couple of years. Maybe the new meds ARE helping. We're headed for RAAC unless he learns about her second meeting with Glen. JPB has not convinced me RAAC is appropriate. He has one more chapter to convince me.

Now he rapes her? And it's supposed to be okay? She's going to go all submissive, allow him to keep a mistress and wait on him hand and foot? Both wildly implausible (yes, I know this is fiction, but come on!) and unbelievable. Bob! Where is this mess going ????

Tell me, Just Plain Bob! Are you as big a pussy and ass-wipe as your character George is??? He's pathetic, he's arrogant, he's selfish, he's egotistical, his arrogant pride is as big as it can be, he's stupid and he's a wimp! He takes out all his hurt, humiliation and frustration on her instead of going after the ass-wipe that seduced her.

Your story is a pathetic piece of shit...so far!

Him treating her like the cheap whore she is wasn't nearly enough retribution for what a truly degenerate and cruelly disturbed person she is..

Three fucking chapters and GEORGE DOES NOTHING TO GLEN! How fucking pathetic! George IS a wimp!!!

Shawna was just getting home from work when he got home. He pulled in and parked behind her and when she got out of her car she gave me a smile and then headed into the house.

Me - first person pronoun . The rest of the paragraph is third person. You should have used "him", not "me". Me indicates the narrator, the person telling the story, got the smile. Fau pax.

Writing third person is hard. and you did it in the middle of a book that had been entirely first person. No-No.

reading the anon comments, i feel i need to speak out. I see the need for some men to lash out at the other guy. Maybe they were in the same boat at one time. But lashing out usually lands you in jail, and few men actually do so in reality, so they need the release in fiction.

I see the story well written, and both parties acting terribly, selfishly. Both too stubborn to sit with the other and work on the problem. It's a sad story, and entirely believable. I was treated poorly by several girls in my life. I figured there had to be better women out there somewhere, and just walked away. I finally did find a good woman, one who has stayed with me 38 years. I thin of those other girls sometimes, and am so glad they showed their true nature to me. It hurt then, but I laugh now.

back to turvy topsy and some type of normalcy, TK U MLJ LV NV

Just keeps getting weirder, crazier, more intense and therefore better.

Keeps getting more Just Plain Bob.

Isn't it exciting?

Paul in Oklahoma

Heading like a freight train for the RAAC.

How is it at ALL costs?

He's a loser; she's a loser. What do they have to lose? They are meant for each other because...who really besides them gives a shit?

So first Shawna cheats on her husband, then confesses it all to her cuckolded husband and expects him to forgive her quickly and forget her betrayal. When that doesn't happen she decides she can't wait for his forgiveness so she activates her slut mode because she can't live like a "cloistered nun"(!). After having had her days in the sun for a while, she becomes a staunch believer in "fate" and wants to work on her marriage. Now if George can't forgive her it's going to be HIS fault, right?

Poor George, I wonder if she has pulled the wool over his eyes again with a half truth about being with his sister and Mum, before he forced himself on her.

She has a track record of it when she fucked the other bloke and gave him sloppy seconds then told him she couldn't go through with meeting up with him and was with his sister, but that was after sluting around.

My money is on >>we find out she fucked some bloke before she meets up with his Sister and Mum in the next chapter<<

Time to read chapter 4

"I had more orgasms that night than at any other time in my life." - THAT'S gonna help, not!

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"If you had treated me that way I would tied you to the bed, beat you with a cast iron frying pan and then have packed a bag and been gone in a heart beat." - And that's the problem with these sluts - they take shit from the lovers that they would kill their husbands for.

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"How could she be submissive and he not know it or at least suspect it?" - Except that she wouldn't be submissive for him.

1* because this was simply a repeat of chapter 2