All Comments on 'Getaway'

So, you actually care about the story behind the story, huh? Well, make yourself comfortable; I don't know if you know me, but I'm known for taking up people's time.

For the record, I've never had a story come together so fast. I saw the porn clip this story is based on near the end of August; so we're talking about a month, maybe less than. For those who don't care to look for it themselves, the big difference between this story and the clip is that in the clip, the girl (Eliza Ibarra) was portrayed as this flighty thing who just happened to rob a bank on a seeming whim and non-violently roped the "dude" of the scene into being her getaway driver. I'm not going to call bullshit on the scenario because frankly, my own take on this is rife with bullshit as well. That's part of what I liked about the scene, actually; porn is inherently absurd, but if the performers play it right, the absurdity's part of the charm—and Ibarra (and her partner; unfortunately, I don't know his name) played it *very* right. So for once, I didn't want to waste time thinking too much about how something like this might actually go down; I wanted to write something that was just fun and got right to the point.

What I was more concerned with was crafting unique characters, however shallow they might be. My first order of business was to make my female lead hypercompetent, cool, and in a measure of control without being too mean about it. The rest of "Jill" sprung from the appeal of the myth of the bank robber, how that myth might be relevant today, and who I wanted to embody that myth. Look, I don't want to get political, I believe that the right to get your rocks off is a bipartisan issue...but at the same time, families are getting locked in cages for being brown, too few people have too much fucking money, and too many of my fellow men in this country, particularly those in power, seem to think pussy is a right, not a privilege. When I think about who my ideal modern-day folk hero bank robber would be, it's a Latin American woman every time.

Not that I want to get on too high a horse here. It's still a fairly shallow, slapdash characterization, one I would definitely work to deepen and authenticate if I ever decided to revisit these characters (that's a *big* if, though; I really like how I left them), and once again, I had to lean on Google Translate for "Jill's" Spanish dialogue—unlike The Test Shoot, I had a couple of additional resources for bilingual dirty talk, but I can still see a Latinx reader looking over this and burying their head in their hands. (By all means, if that sounds familiar, feel free to jump in and drag me.)

Anyway, Jack formed from that, additionally inspired by my own recent experimentations with weed. Again, it wasn't complicated, it was the basic application of the rule of opposites. Got a super-skilled lead character who's always in distress mode? Pair her up with a terminally chill dude and think about what they'd see in each other. As I said, I wasn't looking to dig too deep with these people; in fact, part of the appeal of the sex scene was the mystery of it, which is why I never used their names in my prose; to emphasize the fact that they were strangers to one another. (I considered having "Jill" tell Jack her real name at the end of it, but it never felt right.)

I'm sure I've sounded too pompous for too long, so I'm gonna wrap this up, but I'm just going to add that this is probably some of my favorite sex that I've ever written. I love the absolute sensual rawness of it, the way it incorporates each of my characters personalities while revealing different sides of them. I'm honestly super proud of myself...but there's always room to disagree, and I look forward to seeing where this ultimately settles!

Thanks again for reading, well, everything!

I really identified with the temperment of the main character. Glad to see marijuana represented in a story for once. No stupid weed stereotypes. I would give it 5 stars but I accidentally hit 4 and I can't revote. Wasn't big on the vague political angle.

Nice little romantic bank robbery. But really, 500 plus thousand, with no Dye Packs? Highly improbable, nice fairy tale. Four stars.

Oh yeah, I tried to cushion the bullshit by saying that she anticipated dye packs and intimidated the teller into not including any, but it's still total bullshit. Originally I tried to write out an elaborate and more realistic explanation for how she got around the dye packs, but the pace of the story was starting to drag, and it was one small detail among several other *large* ones that also had no basis in reality. So I just said "fuck it" and leaned into the fantasy.

That's a totally valid critique, though. I'm not so much excusing myself as I'm explaining where my head was at and why I went in that direction. Glad you mostly enjoyed it for what it was!

Yeah, it's unrealistic, but it's porn, so "unrealistic" comes with the territory. But Jill stopped being a sympathetic figure when we found out that she is a murderer who isn't even bothered by it. And Jack's attitude of "it's cool, American Hitler deserved to be murdered anyway" wiped out any sympathy for him. You could have avoided the problem entirely by "not having her be a murderer", or by "beating the guy to the draw and forcing him to disarm"; or you could have deeper characterization by showing Jill full of self reproach and Jack trying to talk her down. As it was, it feels like you just wanted to put an ugly political fantasy in with the sexual fantasy. Bleh.

a BRILLIANT WRITER

You paint a wonderful compelling situation which is believable and erotic, this is the second I have read of your offerings and I thank you sincerely

Not sure how nobody's commented on this yet, but it was fuckin fantastic

You got me seriously involved in the narrative to the point where I felt somewhat invested in both the characters. Great writing.

Thrilling adventure… sexy, hot, and fucking hilarious. A win all around!

Anyone else picturing michelle rodriguez as the bank robber…. I’m seeing her when she was younger.

Fun story.