Getting Back to Square One

I turned and sauntered over towards the stairs where Liza sat.

"Oh, Tyson," she sobbed. "What's going to happen to us? I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "Can't you please forgive me?"

"What's going to happen to us? I'll tell you what's going to happen to us. Nothing is going to happen to us...for the time being."

Liza seemed to perk up a bit when I said that.

"However," I continued, "there are going to be some consequences and some stipulations laid down that you're going to have to follow. And they are going to be consequences and stipulations that you're not going to find very palatable. But if you want to even have a prayer of saving our marriage, you will follow them. Do you understand?"

Liza eagerly nodded her head and wiped her eyes.

"First of all, I want to thank you for being so stubborn in your refusal to ever have children. I can only imagine how devastating this would have been if we had a family."

"I know," Liza said. "I guess I'm grateful for that, too."

"Secondly," I continued, "it would seem that your proclivities involved a lot more adventure with Marty than you ever have with me; so many things that you did with and for Marty that you never did for me."

"I'm sorry, Tyson," she said, hanging her head and sobbing again. "I'm so, so, sorry. I'll do anything you want, Tyson! I swear! Anything! Just ask!"

"First of all, you're going to schedule an appointment with the clinic and get an STD test. I have no idea what Marty has and neither do you. If he's fucking you on his business trips, more than likely he is fucking other women on business trips, too. Obviously, you are never to see or correspond with him in any way, shape or form."

Liza looked up in surprise and shock. She hadn't considered that little detail. Funny how many 'other women' and 'other men' think that they are the only ones their affair partner is cheating with.

"Secondly, and this is the part that will be hard for you, I think it is only fair that since you denied me and went after your own satisfaction for the last three years that I now deny you and go after my own satisfaction."

"Marty, what do you mean? I just told you that I promise to deny you nothing! I'll do anything you ask! I swear it!" she pleaded.

"That's not the point. It is the denial and the cheating and the secrecy. You got to go out and have your fun. Now I want to have some of my own. And, as a test of your resolve to save our marriage, YOU will be the one to help make that happen!"

"Me? What would you want me to do?"

"You, Liza, will seek out women for me. You will do whatever you have to in order to find them and arrange for them to meet me. You will explain to them that I have your full blessing to do anything with them that they and I want to do. And I will do anything with them that I want to and anything that we can think of. And when my dates with them are over I will come home with the taste of their mouths, their pussies and their asses on my lips and I will be sure to kiss you deeply and passionately...before brushing my teeth!"

"No! No, Tyson," she said, shaking her head furiously. "I won't do it! You can't make me do it! I won't share you with another woman!"

"Yes, you will do it. Or I will share with the entire city of Red River Falls how you, the wife of a dedicated police officer, cheated with malice aforethought REPEATEDLY on your dutiful and selfless-serving husband. I will make public every last text message and piece of correspondence between you and Marty. I will make you a fucking PARIAH in this town or whatever town you choose to crawl to if you leave me and Red River Falls. I will make sure the stench of your affair with Marty follows you around like a damned fart in a car! Do I make myself clear?"

Liza just sat there on the stairs - cowering, afraid and sobbing. Finally, she nodded her head yes.

"Good. Now get upstairs and take off that damned lingerie and get your ass to bed. I'll be sleeping in the guest bedroom indefinitely."

Liza slowly and gingerly did as I instructed. She took off the lingerie, grabbed her bathrobe and slowly walked towards the master bath while I took off my uniform and prepared to move some of my things to the guest room. She purposefully did not put on her robe as she walked by me as she knew I would admire her body, as I always have during our marriage. As she walked by me, sniffling, I couldn't help but stare at her ass. I had always been in love with my wife's ass. Suddenly, a pang of anger came over me and I reached out and slapped her hard on her right ass cheek.

She let out a high-pitched yelp as I did so. "What was that for?" she asked, afraid and clutching her bathrobe.

"Just a quick question. The entire time we've been married, your ass has been off-limits to me. Was your ass off limits to Marty, too?"

"Yes, it was, Tyson. I swear. Marty tried to put a finger in there once but I made him quit. I didn't like it and it felt dirty. He licked me there a couple of times, which was okay. But we never had anal sex, if that's what you're asking."

"That is what I'm asking. And, for some strange reason...I actually believe you. But I may make you prove it with a polygraph test someday soon. So I guess if we ever get to the point where our marriage is healed enough for us to have sex again, maybe we have some virgin territory to start from. It could be something to prove that you love me and are serious about making our marriage work."

"I am serious, Tyson," she said, putting the robe on the bed. "I am dead serious! And, if you want me to prove it to you, then you can stick that big dick of yours up my ass right this very minute!"

I stood there looking at her. It was a tempting offer. But as mad as I was right then and there with everything that had happened that night, it was a bad idea. I would have just ripped her cherry ass apart.

"Go take your shower, Liza. Our marriage isn't healed yet, not by a long shot. Take your shower and then get to bed. You've got some work to do tomorrow finding my women."

Liza stood there, disappointed. Then she grabbed her robe, went into the bathroom and closed the door. I noticed she didn't lock it.

*****

ONE YEAR LATER

It has been exactly one year since that fateful night in our house. Some interesting developments have occurred that have led me to this moment. I sat in the living room waiting for Liza to get home from the grocery store. I have since switched from the afternoon shift to the day shift. Not as much excitement on the day shift from 07:00 to 15:30 as there was on my previous shift. But it kept me home more with Liza to see what she was up to. Liza says that she was thrilled as she felt it gave us more time together, even though she struggled from time to time having to go without sex. She whined a little but was pretty quick to shut up before I had to put her in her place and remind her of what got us here.

To her credit, she did exactly as I asked. Liza set up a profile on a married dating site and also a profile on a couple of swinger's sites. What she didn't know is who exactly was responding to those profiles. I made Liza handle all of the correspondence back-and-forth between the would-be sex partners and my profile. She did all of the messaging and I even made her handle the hotel reservations when I went out on my "dates".

Marsha and I continued to correspond, as well. For the sake of their three children, she decided to try and make things work with Marty. I couldn't really fault her for that. As I told Liza, I thanked God that she and I never had kids. That would have made this whole situation exponentially worse.

I found out from Marsha exactly what Marty's business trip schedule was like. The first time I found him was down in Hastings, Nebraska. He was staying at an economy hotel, presumably for anonymity, and I was able to locate him after he got back to the hotel from a local bar. To his credit, he was with his clients and no women. But it didn't keep me from sneaking up on him, slamming him face first into a wall, giving him a knee to the balls, three hard punches to the gut and a vicious elbow smash across his left cheek bone.

I wanted Marty to feel pain. And I wanted him to know if was me without knowing so I wore a ski mask and a hooded sweatshirt. I couldn't risk punching him in the face with my fists as it would certainly lead to telltale bruising if Marty ever pressed charges. So I just gave him a quick three-point beating; head, gut and groin. It was a signature that was repeated in Vermillion, Pierre, Minot and Bismarck. Again, to his credit, he took them all and never pressed charges.

All of that leads to this moment. I sat in my recliner in the living room and watched as Liza brought two bags of groceries into the house. She chattered about this and that and never really made eye contact with me. I assumed that was probably because she was trying to be stoic as she dealt with the idea of me 'dating' other women and wondering when that would end so she could resume her wifely duties. When she finished putting her groceries away, I called her into the living room.

She sat in the sofa opposite my recliner.

"I have something for you," I said as she sat down.

"Really? What is it?"

"I have a letter for you. It's been a year since...well...you know...and I want you to know that it all comes to an end now."

"Oh, thank God, Tyson. If I had to watch you leave for another one of your dates again, I was afraid I was going to absolutely die!"

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"Does this mean that we can finally, you know, be intimate again, Tyson?"

"I need you to read this letter first," I said, handing it to her.

"I'm going to do better this time, Tyson, I swear. I'm going to be the best wife ever! I'll deny you nothing! You'll see."

"Just read the letter, Liza," I said, somberly.

She was smiling as she opened the letter and pulled out its contents, eagerly thinking that the worst was behind her and she could finally move forward. Her lovely smile disappeared as she read the first page.

"What?" she shrieked, standing up quickly. "What the hell is this? A petition for dissolution of marriage? What the hell is this, Tyson? Is this some kind of a sick joke?"

"No, Liza. It isn't a joke. Like I said, everything ends today. It's all over with."

"Are you fucking kidding me? After everything I put up with to make it up to you? This is how you treat me? After watching you leave this house and crying every minute you were gone while you were on one of your dates with those whores I had to scrounge up for you? You're actually divorcing me now?!!"

"There were no dates, Liza."

"Yes there were! I even got messages from those bitches telling me how much they loved fucking you!"

"No, there weren't. I never went on a single date with any of those women. Because none of those women even existed."

"What are you talking about, Tyson?"

"All of those women's profiles were fake. They were all created by me."

"What? Why? Why would you do this?"

"First of all, hardly any men who go onto those married dating sites ever carry out an affair. There are hardly any women who even register on those sites and the vast majority of those women's profiles are fake, just like the ones I created.

"Second, if I were to go out and have sex with other women, that wouldn't make me as bad as you. It would make me worse than you. While you did things that you knew would hurt me, I believe you did a lot of them because you were caught up in the novelty of the affair and wanted to do whatever you could to make it exciting and to keep it going, especially for Marty's sake. I have come to learn, through my therapist, that you probably didn't do it specifically to hurt me. But if I had sex with other women, I would be doing it specifically to hurt you and punish you. And that would be worse in the long run.

"And, so, that's where I really was when I was out on my dates, so to speak. I was actually seeing a therapist," I concluded.

"Well....then why? Why would you do this?" Liza asked.

"To prove your loyalty to me. To prove that you would actually carry out what I asked you to."

"Well, I did, Tyson. I did exactly that. And because I did it, this divorce makes even less sense!"

"One of the things I told you, Liza, was that I never wanted you and Marty to see or contact one another ever again."

"I haven't seen him, Tyson! I swear to God!"

"Yes, I know. I had a GPS tracker installed in your car."

"Well, see? If you know I haven't seen him, then this divorce doesn't make sense, unless you're trying to be cruel!"

"Just because you haven't seen him, Liza, doesn't mean you haven't heard from him."

"Tyson, you can check my phone! Check the computer! Check all of it! I haven't sent anything to him with my phone or the computer! I swear!"

"Oh, believe me. I have. I checked your smart phone and the computer. In fact, I even secretly installed a GPS tracker on your phone, too. And I know you haven't seen Marty because Marsha also had a GPS tracker installed on Marty's phone and vehicle. So, yes. You are right. You haven't seen Marty."

"So, then, why in the hell are you doing this to me, Tyson?"

"Because I told you that I didn't want you to correspond with Marty in any way, shape or form."

Liza just looked at me. She knew something was wrong. I reached into my left pocket and withdrew a small prepaid cell phone, just as basic a model as you can get. You can call with it, but you can also text with it, too.

"You see, Liza, I had a friend come over one day who is very good with electronics and computers. She did a sweep of our house and found a very faint signal coming from your walk-in closet. The light socket in your closet; you screwed a secondary socket into the main light socket that also has an old-fashioned two-prong electrical outlet on it -- just the right socket to charge a cell phone with as you don't need a three-prong outlet. And you did a very good job of hiding it amongst all your shoeboxes and shit that you had piled up on the shelf in your closet."

Liza slowly sat back down on the couch. She knew it was over.

"And to make matters worse, not only did you keep and hide this secret cell phone from me, there is only one phone number programmed into this phone. Care to take a guess as to whose number it is?"

Liza bowed her head in shame, began crying softly, and just shook her head 'no'.

"I told you specifically that I didn't want you to have any correspondence with him in any way, shape or form."

"I..I was afraid...that you were going to hurt him," she sobbed.

"I was going to hurt him. You knew that I was going to hurt him. And I did hurt him. Several times. But that shouldn't have been your main concern. Your main concern should have been doing everything I told you to in order to save your marriage. You didn't do that, which tells me that you obviously don't feel that your marriage is worth saving. Hence, the divorce papers sitting in your hands."

"Oh, God, Tyson! I'm so sorry!"

"I no longer believe that, Liza. But look at it this way. We're both fairly young, in our early 30's, and we can each go out and find what we truly want. Me? I've always wanted children and you never did. So now I can find a woman who either has some young children I can help raise or I can have children of my own with her."

"No, Tyson! Please! If you want children, I would gladly give them to you!"

"What, are you kidding me? You've never wanted children! If you did, we'd have one or two by now. And we sure as hell aren't going to have kids just to try and save our marriage! That would be the stupidest and most irresponsible thing we could do. Trust me, this is for the best. And besides, you are free to chase Marty all over hell and back now if you want to."

"Why would I want Marty? We're done with each other and he is still married to Marsha."

"Not for long. If it makes you feel better, and I'm guessing it probably won't, but Marty is getting handed the same set of papers right now that you are. So, congratulations. You and Marty have ruined two marriages, not just one."

Liza was sobbing uncontrollably. "Where...where will...you go? What...will you...do?"

"Me?" I asked, incredulously. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. This house was bought and paid for with my money. You work part-time as a librarian making $9.50 an hour. Do you really think you can afford this house? Give me a break. No, we'll split our bank account. You can keep your car and I'll keep mine. I'll keep my pension, too. I'll refinance the mortgage and give you half the equity. You can get a fresh start and work wherever you want to. And when you can afford it, you can buy a place of your own."

"This is...so unfair! I deserve more than that...after twelve years," she sobbed.

"No, you don't, Liza. You deserve far less. You're only getting that much because I'm generous."

"Then...I'll fight for the rest...in court!" she stammered.

"Then you'll lose, figuratively if not actually. If you insist on fighting me on this, I swear to everything holy that I will make public every last message between you and Marty. I will bring Marsha -- quite willingly, I might add -- sobbing and wailing into court to tell everyone what a whore and a home wrecker you are. I will make your parents and your siblings and our nieces and nephews watch the whole spectacle in awe and wonder. You will be metaphorically wearing a Scarlett Letter, if not wearing it in actuality. Do I make myself understood? I will make you want to crawl into the deepest hole in Mason County and you will NEVER want to see daylight again!"

Just then, there was a honk from out in the street.

"Get your stuff packed. Your sister Emily is here to pick you up. Just take what you need for a few days and you can pick the rest of your stuff up in a few days when we have had a chance to split everything 50/50. I'll even arrange for you to do it on a day when I'm at work so you don't have to see me."

Liza did her best to compose herself and gather up her things. Her sister Emily and I have always gotten along well and she was the only one I told about the affair. At first, naturally, Emily didn't believe me. But when I showed her many of the text messages between Liza and Marty, Emily was quite shocked. I swore her to secrecy and adamantly told her not to tell the rest of her and Liza's family or parents. I felt doing so would give me an extra poker chip to throw on the table when it came time for the divorce. It seems my gamble paid off.

Thirty minutes later, Emily helped Liza put the last of her things in her and Liza's cars and then Liza walked out of the house for the last time as my wife. I couldn't help but feel sadness as I watched her drive away. I would have to look forward to a new future -- one without Liza. While daunting, I couldn't help but be a little hopeful, too, as I had always wanted a family and now had the chance to pursue having one.

Liza was now free to find whatever it was she was looking for, too; whatever it was that she thought she had found with Marty. But as she drove away that day with tears in her eyes looking back at the man and the home she was forced to leave behind, I think it dawned on her that she had lost far more than she would ever find again.

SB