by hotpup
Nice try, but a) I didn't buy into the premise, and b) the writing was extremely stilted. The sentences ran on forever, with little punctuation; people don't talk the way they are portrayed in this story.
Needs an editor's guidance.
hey....remember me??? LOL i am glad to have read another great story by you. i don't care what everyone else says, your stories are great. this is going to leave me with fantasies tonight. *weg* take care.....lei