All Comments on 'Girls Gonewild Ch. 01'

Chapter 1 is a little too short. You gave away the ending in the first paragraph by revealing that Sarah ends up posting nude photos of herself on a website, but end chapter 1 with an obvious (to the reader) revelation that Dana is naked like it was a cliffhanger. It is hard to vote on this chapter yet because it almost reads like the back of a book's dust jacket.

Yeah, sorry about the shortness. The later chapters will be longer, and I'll try not to do such blatant giveaways in the future. Thanks for your comment.

This was far from bad, if a little too obvious -- you told us the punch-line far too early and it was hurried -- but it was OK. Keep writing, re-read your stuff thoroughly before submitting, and don't send anything in while the ink is still wet!

Four stars -- I hope that future chapters will vindicate my score.

Really great start to what seems to be really well-thought out story line. I do agree with the others tho, about giving away a bit too much at the very beginning. Keep up the good work!