All Comments on 'God's Eye View'

Keep writtin. Hopefully it helps you pass time on deploymemt. Thx for your service and be safe

If you don't know which way the woman will react to your marriage proposal, then you don't know the person well enough to marry them.

I just read "Secret Loves" and commented (Jess the sitcom character). I'd be curious to see a chapter 3 taking into account your newfound disposition. I still think you could make it work, just with much more angst this time around.

A few grammar glitches you need to learn, and I didn't care for the "carpet muncher" slurs, but other than that, I enjoyed it. Nice effort. Keep writing.

First, the positives.

The story is decently written. Nothing that made me stop and do a double-take, or took me out of the story. A bit lacking in the emotion department, but I suppose that can mostly be attributed to the fact that the main character isn't a super emotional person.

I'm also a fan of taking your pound of flesh, so to speak, so I always appreciate a good bitch burnin'. Though I have to say that, in this day and age, it seems highly unlikely for Don to have totally gotten away with the revenge porn thing. At the very least there should've been an attempted lawsuit.

Now the negatives.

I don't like the characters at all. With the exception of Don, they're all underdeveloped and serve as little more than scenery and plot devices for the most part. And Don himself is infuriatingly impulsive and bullheaded throughout. Yeah, life seems to be shitting on him at every turn, but it seems to me that he could've avoided at least some of it by taking a moment to thoroughly think things through and look at all possible angles. He probably wouldn't have embarrassed himself with Dawn if he had employed some critical thinking skills.

I also feel like the story is far too long for what it is. I mean, the climax is already over by page three, then there's still four pages to go. I kept waiting for something to happen, but it never did. It went from a story about a man dealing with a cheating wife, to a story about a modern-day Sisyphus pushing a boulder uphill. That's fine for a shorter story, but asking people to read through seven pages of that is a bit much, in my opinion. The overtly depressing tone you chose to go with is...well, depressing.

But after every setback you have Don pick himself up, dust himself off and keep going. In most stories that's the kind of thing that's meant to inspire hope, letting the audience know that the character will be alright. He's not giving up; hell find what he's looking for! But he does give up. He doesn't find what he's looking for. And instead of embracing the life of a bachelor and making the best of it, Don sits around pining for what he doesn't have. Everyone else gets their version of a happy ending, but then here's the main character, resigned to his fate at the bottom of the hill. Shit, you even killed off his father and said that his mother was already one foot in the grave.

Usually stuff like that has some kind of meaning behind it, like "Those who hold onto rage and bitterness will never find happiness". But that doesn't appear to be the case here. Don effectively stopped caring about Brittany at all and tried to get on with his own life without giving her a second thought. He wasn't cursing her name while drowning himself in scotch, and he wasn't calling out her name while fucking other women. She had become a non-factor to him, but it still felt like you were making an example of him.

I wish it had been something more sinister, like Brittany being vindictive and talking to his girlfriends, filling their heads with horror stories about what he would do to them if they slipped up even once. How he would destroy their lives and drive them to attempt suicide like she did. Something to add some drama to the story after the divorce. But no such luck.

You took a shot at all the stories that have the cheated-upon husband hook up with a bombshell of a woman after dumping the unfaithful wife, and that's all well and good. While not personally my cup of tea, I don't have a problem with a story that takes a more true-to-life approach where divorcees don't often get those x-rated Disney endings. But stories like that usually aren't seven pages long, and for good reason. If someone puts that much time into reading a story, they probably want a decent payoff at the end. I know I do, and seeing the main character resigned to a lifetime of being at square one is not what I call a decent payoff. Makes me feel like there was no point in reading the whole thing. Hence why I said I feel cheated.

I can't give this anything higher than a 3, and that's being generous.

The story had a "real" feeling about it. It didn't try to explain every action of the characters and was well written. Thank you for your effort.

As for "I don't even know the name of the other guy who's singing in Van Halen", do you allude to "1985" by Bowling for Soup?

A little too long, and a little to dark for a five. But close!

Thanks for sharing!!! Its good to read about real life and possibilities how a life can turn and how it is influenced by imponderabilities!!! Attention to all cuck authors !!!

It was a good read and sounded believable unlike some of the other stories, Good job

How anyone could enjoy this story on a sex site is beyond belief.Why not post in non erotic or elsewhere where people enyoy B.T.B stories.

What a let down after 6 pages to have a blah ending. What a waste, could have been done so much better.

must also know He tries to keep the world and lifes in order. TK U MLJ LV NV

A total waste of time!

liked the story

felt sorry for don

I'm surprised he wouldn't at least take the time to find out what her "reason" was. It might've been something he could have helped her with.

Life doesn't have neat little endings all of the time. The objections to this were made because many readers like everything tied up neatly. I liked the outrage, as well as the struggle for self control from the husband. Good job

Another great change from the usual happy ending to a sad story. Life is not about happy endings. At best it is about revelations and enlightenment. Shit happens, you adjust your view of reality, and you keep marching.

Really liked your story but i thought the last four pages should've/could've been edited down to two or three.

Stay safe on deployment

Sadly, I think leaving out the reason Dawn left really detracts from the story and since it happens late it will have a powerfully negative effect on how I, and likely, others will remember and rate it. That is a problem when you try to string a series of unrelated real life events together instead of building on one specific event. (In solely my humble opinion, of course)

You are right. Not everything in life goes according to plan and ends with a happy ending. Personally I wanted some closure with the Dawn situation. Even if it was through a letter, something was better than nothing. Overall I thought it was a great tale. Looking forward to more of your work.

Loved it, and agree with the realistic ending. Been there, done it, worked through it and come out the other end happily. Don's story isn't necessarily finished.

And sometimes things work out badly for the good guy. I think his problem was that he didn't actually know the women he fell for.

Not finding out why the second woman declined his marriage proposal and then the collapse of that relationship. On the surface it seems like it would be a no-brainer, they got along with each others kids, the kids were good with each other, many areas of compatibility....

Poor guy couldn't catch a break on relationships.

There was no logical or emotional reason for it and then to allow that event to harden him so that hes emotionally unavailable? As the song goes: Your choices are half chance, so are everyone elses.

Great story and thank you for your service.

Very well written, very realistic story

Yes, fairly realistic except for the extreme coincidence of Google maps showing the cheater's car in the satellite view and them kissing in the street view. So actually it isn't realistic at all.

Also not erotic nor entertaining.

I have to agree with @looking4it...We could understand why Mandy didn't want to marry him...She was by herself, no strings attached, and didn't want to get involved with a man with his baggage...But that wasn't the case of Dawn, she was a single mother, she had satisfied all her hidden desires when young, so what reason could made her run? And she loved him...that's sure...Was she serious ill? I understand what end the writer had for his story, but the Dawn character weakens the story a little...however 4*

Only 3*. Cannot give more for an unfin...

Well, it was never going to be great, but it could have been so much better. You show in this story a real talent for making the main character a hapless clueless dufus. Some of the plot ideas and characters are really well done, but elsewhere you just totally drop the ball.

Its unbelievable that he waited so long to ask his wife to explain her actions. Its like he was really focused on his hurt and revenge, but not so concerned why his wife suddenly became a bisexual slut. A husband of normal intellect might just wonder if it has something to do with him, blackmail, mental illness, etc. It was also hard to believe that a close connected relationship wouldn't show some changes when the wife suddenly became a whore, for two different people. Perhaps the most embarrassingly selfish and self-centered moment is when he finally asks his ex-wife why she cheated on him. During the entire discussion about how and why she did what she did to him and their marriage, he never bothered to ask her why she tried to commit suicide! It was a real lapse in your character's behavior, but only one of several.

His approach to his successive marriage attempts just reinforced that this guy was ignorant about women and relationships. You don't ask a woman to marry you without first discussing the general idea of future, marriage, children, careers, retirement, family, etc. You know, kind of important discussions and decisions that need to be understood before the actual proposal of marriage. Of course, maybe I'm not an expert at marriage, since I've only been married once, and we are still trying to make it work, after 40 years. So far so good, but you never stop trying.

I have not read your other work, but I hope you will keep writing. Its obvious you put a lot of time and effort into this work, and I hope you have learned something from it. It was not bad, but it could have been so much better. Thanks for the effort.

And thanks for allowing anonymous comments. Nice to see another author who can handle the pointy end of the spear.

you spent all this time writing a story that goes nowhere and says nothing....dont give up your day job

Total Crap

Just an FYI. Don't release videos. I have never done it, but watched a friend who did. He was so hurt and humiliated that when he found the video of his wife shot my her lovers wife and her lover in HIS video camera (which his wife had bought him for his birthday two months before) he went nuts. He published it on the various websites that everyone knows about. The end was different for him than Don. He did not know it was illegal to do such a thing in his state without release forms from all concerned. He was criminally charged, spent 18 months in jail, lost all access to his kids, and pretty much got cleaned out by the divorce. The judge ordered psychological counseling for him prior to granting him visitation. She could not grasp why he would humiliate the cheaters and assumed he must be mentally ill. He walked out of the court room and never looked back, I have not heard from him in two years. She ended up moving from a low level job to being the personal assistant, making twice their previous income, to the COO of the bank they both worked at. I heard that the video was the principle reason she got the job. PS the COO is a woman.

Excellent narrative and interesting twists and turns. I lived several parts of this but was fortunate in that (1) I got custody of my kids, and (2) I eventually met a young lady who ended up being a wonderful wife and mom. The author captured the emotions and problems really well - my "Mandy" went back to a previous boyfriend; getting dumped out of your first serious relationship after a divorce brings you low. Excellent.

you get a 1 for a shitty ending. the guys a catch. he the tall dark and handsome. with good decent values, but has a major chip on his shoulder and pushes marriage to fast in a relationship. (come on 8 months for dawn and close to that for mary as well).should have gone to a church and found a decent christian girl lol.

A 5* response in Romance is like a 3* here. Sorry for the jerks and their bad review but it's expected when the guy doesn't kill the cheater and end up with a wealthy supermodel.

The only problem I have is that there was no explanation from Dawn on why she refused to marry Don.

Please give us more. You're a breath of fresh air.

Bill 1104

The story raised several questions, but I will only raise one issue. What was Dawn's issue about commitment and why didn't he know. An excellent example of some one so focused on him (her) self they miss the obvious. The story has depth.

This is a 5⭐🇭🇮🇹❗

Interesting. Entertaining. Realistic and fantastic.

A variety of characters including family. Well developed and defined husband Don and wife Brittany.

I found fascinating the cheating wife Brittany. She resolved her gender confusion in the worst way. Without considering her husband or children. A completely selfish, narcissistic and sadly, common modern day thinking process.

Carbinemaster, your protagonist Don is someone I identify with closely. Controlling his anger during the confrontation was so realistically portrayed and he was smart about the evidence. On the other hand, after his experience with Mandy. He spent eight months with Dawn and doesn't determine beforehand what she thinks about him regarding marriage. The dumb man gets burned again. Such a human character sometimes makes smart decisions, sometimes dumb decisions.

I thank you for an enjoyable read and look forward to your next story😌.

AMerryman

Would have been 5 but you didn't explain Dawn.

It is a story so you should have.

5* this is truly a realistic story that I enjoyed. It is realistic enough to be believable. so there wasn't a great happy ending for him. Ya we want to hear how the wrong husband comes out in the end with everything, but it rarely ends up like that. I think most men are better able to empathize with Don and how his character is written. I would have liked to know what dawn's issue was, but it wasn't essential to Don's story and no-nonsense attitude.

Would have been a 5 if you'd have explained Dawn.

How about a rewrite with an explanation.

I thought this was a good story. The ending was realistic. Quite a few people like Don go through life thinking they have been unlucky in love when it's obvious to their friends and family that there's a very good reason for it-but they're too polite to tell them what it is! Don should have encouraged his family, his friends and ex's to be more open with him.

There were a few small things that I disliked a lot. The grammar was weak, the expression 'shit-eating grin' is simply disgusting and there was an over-reliance on spell checkers. To take just one example, as several Lit. commenters have repeatedly pointed out, 'discrete' does NOT mean 'discreet' or anything like it.

Maybe Dawn was cheating on him already but was feeling too guilty to do it to him while they were married. She was a self confessed slut in life previously so maybe she reverted back.

I can't understand a character that would pop the question out of the blue without plenty of pre=pop discussion about what the prospective bride thinks about being hitched. Especially to whom and when. And what both partners are looking for long term. I can almost get the first one to Mandy. At that point Don was still kind of a wounded duck and not really thinking through his decisions, but by the time Dawn rolled around I would have expected the character to be a little more thoughtful.

As others have said, it would be nice to understand Dawn but it rings true for Don to cut all contact.

The hero doesn't always win.

Sometimes its like a box of chocolates....you never know what you'll get.

Great story so it best a lot of stars.

However, Donald is the most selfish disgusting human being in this earth. It was all about him. No wonder no one wanted to marry him. When he hurt his wife he also hurt his kids. He didn't care. He was so self absorbed into himself that he couldn't do anything but extract revenge. He was just an angry boy with anger issues. It would be interesting to see where they came from.

To bad that he did such a good job trashing his life too.... not! He deserved every bit of the misery he got.

I am not condoning the cheating and I am not suggesting they shouldn't have gotten a divorce. But his choice of actions were beyond reason. I am surprised that the wife didn't sue him for posting the pics without her permission. That would have really skunked his life where it should have been. Everyone was a loser in this story and the biggest ones are the kids for having to deal with such a selfish parent as the dad.

If you love somebody you would never ever want to reach out in vengeance this way after the Heaton the moment is dissipated. He thought himself so superior that he didn't even want to find out the wife. He was just a gigantic asshole.

But, it was a great story and I enjoyed it a lot.

This story must have been written for my life. Even have a daughter named Danielle. Only exception is. My one and only wife 19 years ago did actually meet a millionaire which was her boss. They married and to this day I hope are happy in life as well. This definitely gave me chills as to the similarities of the story. Very well done and said.

Don was simply too vindictive. In his sanctimonious quest for revenge it was he who forced the mental breakdown, caused at least short-term mental problems for his kids, and tainted his own interactions with other females. He could have achieved his desired ends by, perhaps, editing his video to hide the faces, sending a link to his wife and other main participants, and commenting he had found it on-line and wondered if the faces could be made clearer and get more hits. This subtler approach may have gotten the results he wanted without all the subsequent carnage to all concerned, including himself.

Just not too much in Don to like.

The play off of several cliches (the ex's co-worker who immediately jumped him and the kids teacher who seemed perfect for him) without ever getting the happy ending was just about perfect. I'm surprised at the # of people who don't like Don because he released the videos. He tried to make a deal and threats are worthless if you can't pull the trigger when needed. Carbinemaster, you take care wherever you are deployed now. Pull the trigger when you must and come home safe!

A very long story that, in the end, only makes one

brief point. Hatred inevitably corrodes the vessel

within which it is stored. Ultimately a very dark and

pointless story.

Great story! I really enjoyed it...some what fit my own and I have no regrets for how I responded and what I did. I'm not a bleeding heart and I'm not sorry. On the other hand I still am single but plan on remaining that way. Have an S.O. and that is the way it will stay or until it doesn't. Keep on writing!

Hope you feel better working that anger out. I gave up reading it when the guy with the broken foot went out. The Protagonist was such a drama queen, I couldn't put up with him. Felt sorry for his wife.

...so much so, I was late for an appointment! 5 stars from me for a reason.

I divorced my wife after she cheated on me for almost two years. Yes, the husband is the last to know. Once I found out, like Don, I wasn't going to accept it. Rather than go through a lengthy and painful divorce and without kids, I loaded what I wanted and drove away. While they were still at her lover's house.

Like this story, there has been no happy ending. Nothing terrible, but I never remarried and rarely dated in the past 20 years. Not because I couldn't find one, but because I no longer trusted women and they intuitively picked up on it.

So now at the age of 44, I have no wife nor children in my life. I'm a confirmed bachelor and have no plans to change it. I work 60 hour weeks and make damned good money that a financial investor takes care of. I'm 6'1", 195lbs and very fit with a full head of hair and good teeth so it's not like I'm ugly.

Yet I would trade it all for a good and trustworthy woman. What good is having over seven figures saved if there is no one to share it with?

Liked it but would have liked to have known dawns reasons for saying no and just leaving. Surely if she loved him she owed him a reason. But otherwise a good but sad tale.

thanks

Great story. Re public proposal... I've never understood why some idiot guy wants to propose in PUBLIC, when it should be a very private situation between two people. Unless, of course, he hopes that the emotional blackmail of the public situation forces the potential partner to accept, simply to avoid a public backlash.

He could have asked her in private, while at his Birthday party, then BOTH of them could have announced it together to the gathered attendees.

Re the story... I enjoyed the fact it was different to all the BTB stories that result in the husband meeting an ex beauty queen who happens to be also worth millions while his Ex rots away with some abusive new husband.

Loved the story telling. So how do I rate it?

The very fact that I read it to the end even tho It was so dark means it has to be at least a ***. Since it was so well told, I give it ****

Norm

Thank you author for your efforts.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your stories with us!

“There were also two precious, innocent little lives to consider” – That’s a noble thought, but apparently their MOTHER isn’t considering their “precious, innocent little lives!”

“The way the courts are these days, I could commit cold-blooded murder on the courthouse steps, and still get custody!" – I’m certainly no expert, and if half of what I read in these stories is even SLIGHTLY true, the courts suck, but I can’t believe that they are THAT bad. I think even his videos would be enough to paint her as an unfit mother.

"For the longest time, I've had urges to be with another woman." – As we’ve said in so many of these stories, why not TALK to her husband? Many men fantasize about things like that, maybe he would have gone along. Maybe he would have refused, even got angry. She then would have a decision to make: suppress her urges, or get a divorce. Cheating is NOT an option, especially when her lesbian urge ends up including another MAN, who is filming it!

“I knew that even if I could give Jamie up, it wouldn't matter to you” – Only if she tells him! She could give Jamie up and never tell him. I’m no expert, but my understanding is that most, if not all bi people are simply ATTRACTED to both sexes, that they don’t HAVE to have sex with both! It’s no different than being attracted to a different man, your attraction doesn’t mean you have sex with him!

So even if he were to excuse her bi experimentation, even defying all odds excuse her 3-way, she fucked Benny one-on-one. Despite her rationalizing it as needed for the 3-way, that’s still flat-out cheating!

Arghh! That stupid male ego crap! Like it wasn’t her FEMALE ego that let her decide to try to have her cake and eat it too!

He said what I said earlier, she could have gotten a divorce and been able to sleep with whomever she wanted, with her reputation more or less intact.

“Why didn't you fight for me?" – Another cheater’s thing I hate! Why should he have to “fight” for her? He already “won” her when she married him (actually when she said, “Yes!”) The REAL question is, why didn’t SHE fight? Until he caught her, he didn’t even know there WAS a fight!

“Her nice bust tapered in at her waist, and flared out again at her generous hips and ass” – I’ll have my nit-picker license revoked if I don’t call you on this one! Her BUST didn’t taper in at her waist and flare out at her hips! Her figure did, her bust is just that, her bust!

"I'm sorry, my love.” – Um, you don’t say “my love” to the person you just ran away from when he proposed!

“Hopefully you'll understand and forgive me someday.” – How can he understand OR forgive when she won’t give her reason?

I was disappointed that the story ended without him finding out why Dawn was so freaked out by his proposal that she left town? Wouldn’t her parents have SOME idea? Presumably she visits occasionally so that the can see their grandson, couldn’t he corner her there and get an explanation? As I said a couple of paragraphs ago, she called him “my love.” Doesn’t that at least merit him an explanation? I’m afraid that cost you a star.

While I personally would have liked him to end up with Dawn, he (and WE!) was owed an explanation for her bailing on him; especially knowing his history, she was really cutting his heart out. I don’t blame him for being so cold and hard now.

I agree with those who wonder how he could have been so casual about proposing after his experience with Mandy!

I definitely disagree with those who are down on Don! He was shat upon, and refused to lick it off! More power to him!

i had never come across any of your works before and was pleasantly surprised at how good this was. I liked the realisticness of it, the fact the husband was no willing cuck, and the twists and turns with his relationships.

The end is very anticlimactic, some would say 'that's life', but when I read a story I expect something more narratively satisfying, with a proper ending, and my curiosity sated.

The whole Dawn thing, and him admitting defeat afterwards ruined it for me.

He really should not have wasted time on Mandy a second time. Seems like he is much better off without Dawn, if she could do something like, knowing his history, she wasn't worth marrying.

Just a shame no reason was given for why Dawn just left, it hurt the story a fair bit IMO, my first thought was that she had already cheated on him, and instead of having the decency to tell him, she just ran away.

Decent story though the character of Don is not all that likable, his ex wife fucked up royally ,there is no doubt,and while I respect that cheating was a big deal for him, he can't see that in his response to the cheating he commits a great deal of sin,too. In effect,instead of looking at Brittany as a human being who fucked up, he stops treating her as a human being and in the process screws up a lot of lives including his own. His wife losing her job means the kids will suffer,not to mention they will probably face other kids jeering at then for having the mom the porn star.The girl his wife was with was a 19 yr old kid,and while he had the right to be angry with her,putting the video out hurt her well beyond what she ever did to him,young adults do stupid things, but his response was over the top and mean. His plan to gethe custody was misguided, there was no evidence his wife was unfit as a mother,but he confused his anger over her cheating with reality.

The other bad thing in the story was the dawn story line, I realize the author wanted the tale to be dark but that to me diminished the story,not improved it. She obviously liked him a lot, and having her run off for no reason makes this like a Coen brother movie,where you say wtf a lot. Does she fear commitment? Does she have hiv or something? A woman who did that would explain,in a letter or something,and surely her parents would know the reason and tell him. If for anything,he would want to know to soothe his own ego.

I call Bull Sh*t!!! Unless your prepared to name names (including the "idiot" who claims to be a "judge") your "so called" true story is a bigger lie than Slick Willie claiming "he did not have sex with that woman"!

By the way carbinemaster, excellent story!!!

without at some point in the relationship discussing where they thought it was going. Not once, but TWICE, he proposed without ever at least discussing the topic of marriage. Strange...

Nicely written, but so damn sad. I can buy the wife situation and his misinterpretation of Mandy's intents, but the whole Dawn thing is just odd. Who really ever springs marriage proposals in public anymore without being on the same page? Sure, there are sometimes surprises, but the fiancé is typically in a holding pattern. To have Dawn just run off with no explanation is too improbable (yes I understand this is fiction). Her cryptic goodbye doesn't cut it, and just leaves the story falling off an unnecessary cliff. Two middle-aged people with kids don't do stuff like this. I don't know, maybe there is a fulfilling story from Dawn's perspective somewhere?

I enjoyed this up to Dawns abrupt exit from both the restaurant and story. Without any explanation or closure on this event it became unnecessary and the story limped home for me. Otherwise I enjoyed it and thanks for submitting.

Well I guess this is the Anti-Stang story in that the Protag didn't find a hotter version and lived happily ever after .

This was gritty , raw nerved , and stark . But then , so is life sometimes .

Late to read this , and others have already covered all relevant issues I had , so just let me say thanks for allowing us to share this wonderfully written story.

I really enjoyed it. It is a shame he couldn't have had a happier ending, and we're left with questions, but that's all good. I even enjoy he didn't know why Dawn did what she did, because - that's just the way it goes.

The thing that amuses me is that she had two previous guys she either got engaged to, or was on that path - and they ended badly... but she wouldn't go there with Don. That had to be painful for him (even as a fictional character).

To the people who got upset by this... tough. People lash out, people do irrational things, we just live with the fallout.

It'd be interesting how his ex felt in the end... she still seemed to blame him, and wanted nothing to do with him - but she still had her parents, found another guy, and had him to blame... he only had his kids and heartache.

Worth every one of its 5*s.

I get the crime, but something about his point of view came off as stilted, artificial and theatrical. I am sucker for a happy ending, and this really had none. 3*

And I've always thought a guy has to be a complete moron to ask 'the question' without being sure of the answer. I mean, dude, do you even TALK to your gf? And someone fucking it up twice? Please.

Yes, he said he would post the video of he didn't get his way. Yes, it was meant to hurt his ex, and it did. But she was not the judge with the gavel.

Being turned down twice might bring some people to start looking inside for reasons instead of blaming others. His Black vs White attitude, leaving no room for consideration can be too much for most of us. Soften the blow, smooth the edges. Keep your integrity but don't throw it in other peoples' faces.

I really hope the verbal dagger he threw at his ex when yelling at her about her suicide attempt was not what he really believes. He needs to examine his beliefs regarding mental health and sexual preference. His rigidity regarding those two issues could be part of the reason he keeps being turned down.

A good solid read! Good characters and and interesting story. I appreciate your afterword on how you created the story. I am fascinated by the writing process, from creation to ending! Thank you for sharing the whole process! I must compliment you on your username!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading

The name calling was over the top. Worse is your ALL CAPS, exclamation points addiction and your binges with commas. I gave it a 2 ☆ vote. Needed a good editor to cut out two pages of excessive meandering.

Well, every story does not finish with a happy ending. The kids seemed to survive pretty well in spite of their journey. This was well written and a good read.

Carry on!

Tiny Tim

No graphic sex? This isn't English writing class -- it's a SEX site.

A very well-written story and very appropriate in the Loving Wives category. Just ignore the cretin who commented on the lack of graphic sex. After all, your lean-in DID say that. And, some people have pretty good imaginations.

Nice story it kept my interest and while dark felt real to me.

Thanks for the story!

Buckeye Fan

How much grey area can there be? She cheated on him multiple times, refused his requirements on custody KNOWING his threats, then HE'S to blame for doing what he said he would?

If SHE had done what she vowed to do, i.e. be faithful, none of this would have happened!

I have no problem with sad endings, I don't even have a problem with Dawn's rejecting his proposal, but to not even give him the SLIGHTEST reason?

Sorry, that's too much!

...demonstrates that you touched a nerve with your readers. But as to releasing the video: that's a felony, particularly given you have a somewhat "innocent" near-minor in the shot. There should have been consequences for that.

I really enjoyed the tale and it was somber and there was no happily ever after, but life, and Literotica don't come with Any guarantees of a happy ending. There was some discontinuity in the facts in the story and I would have appreciated more descriptive narration involving the various characters action. Don's character was fully fleshed out but both Dawn and Brittany needed more fleshing out. Five-stars

Sorry this is a story not life. I like loose ends to wrapped. You wrote about a loser, some people can relate with him, but I don't. I didn't like it. Sorry

I believe more thought could have been put into this in several places. First his wife's excuse for cheating just didn't ring true. After one lesbian incident she just throws caution to the wind and her lovers come to the house?

Also there is NO WAY he'd be able to make out an individual from a google picture.

Then all his rejections? The seemed a little contrived, especially the last one where it was done so publicly and then there is NO explanation at all.

Sorry, about 3 stars is the best I can do for this and that's pushing it.

People like Don will be by themselves to the end because they project themselves as wanting to won their partners. Not everybody is meant to be in a loving married relationship. Poetic justice in this story.

I really can't get around the idiocy it would take to do that, and you have him do it several times. I just don't understand. Did you want him to come across as an idiot? And then to not explain the Dawn thing was just flat out lazy unless you've got a sequel planned.

He truly sucked at judging the character of the 'wonderful' women he chose as life partners. That Dawn, who looked him dead in the eyes each time they made love, would stone wall him and then continued living there for another year with no sense of obligation to give the man she was making love with an explanation for her actions, defies simple logic and common decency. She didn't consider losing HIM as a major loss for HERSELF?? .... just saying "Goodbye" with no way for their relationship to be salvaged?

He's supposed to accept and be satisfied with her cryptic note: "I have my reasons." and say to himself, "Uhhhh, OK. I'm a dumb fuck.... not worthy of an explanation." Personally, I'd have been parked in her driveway and when she came out her door, I'd have said, "Talk to me. You had to know how I feel about you and you know my history, so why didn't you say something to warn me not to make an ass of myself, again, like YOU KNOW I did with Mandy? Explain how you could DO that to me."

He really did not seem to have an empathy with the people around him. The problem of compulsion of his first woman perhaps was curable if he had the patience to convince her to get counselling and hold on the divorce proceedings until he was sure he was following the correct path. Personally, I know about anger and I know about the need to talk things through even you get labeled a wimp.

It takes some doing, but this proves that there are still MEN out here like "us" (those who stand on their HONOR) (who also post GOOD stories on this site).

The most emphatic statement in this whole story came early when you wrote: "Infidelity is unforgiveable to me. If you don't have it in you to be faithful, don't commit! ".

That seems to be the "trouble" within our social order, nobody takes consequences seriously anymore. We have Secy of State setting up private servers in their house to trade State secrets - without recrimination; countless "Representatives" (of the people) selling out the people for their own welfare - without indictment; DOJ and FBI "insiders" selling "secrets" to the press to undermine an administration they don't "agree" with... the loss of faithfulness from a life-partner is the WORST. Having been there and received the "t-shirt", I can only say - life goes on. It doesn't go well, but I can look in the mirror and know that I've not let anyone down like that, and never will.

Sometimes I think it takes having a professional partner who is carrying a gun, for a person to develop the sense of HONOR that our society NEEDS. Sure, there is that little "oath" we all take, but how many cluster-wearing office workers actually live that "oath"? Sad to say, not as many as one would hope.

Sorry for running off on a tangent.

Good, if really sad, but honest depiction of divorce.

Watch your 6

Semper Fi

Smokepole

Well written--Enjoyed the story except for the ending of Don's reality of never getting that special someone

Where you admit to having much softer stance on adultery until you went through it.

American society is rife with the forgive and forget philosophy, the second chances, the early paroles...until it is their daughter who is raped...or stalked then how quickly they call for the WRATH OF GOD.

I compliment your writing ability..am off to read next one of yours

the wife lied it's that simple. he fried her no pity for her narcissistic personality

People, happy endings are all too few. The ending was realistic. I like that.

I know, I am living out my own unhappy ending. I brought it on myself but it hurts just the same.

R.

wife cheated and gave me an STD. Later she tried to kill me with a kitchen knife and her parents thought she could do no wrong - that I lied. Ah well, they are dead and buried now, she's still alive (I think...) but our son and I have no relationship at all - I gave up trying to bridge the gap, but clearly he has not forgiven me for abandoning him to her - not that I really had any choice give the way the courts are in child custody.

And then we come to my second disastrous marriage...bah - enough whining already!

and as for your ex's suicide attempt.... im sorry she didn't succeed. cheating is one of my 3 no forgiving sins. a close friends wife tried forcing him to accept her fucking round, threatened his financial as well as pride . dvd with audio photos and email got sent and she was destroyed. and no i don't pity her .

Anybody that would do that is stupid as a stump.

After the divorce it's just a depressing story of a guy floundering, if the author didn't want it to be more than that he could have shortened it by at least two pages.

It needs a proper ending rather than just stagnation. Preferably a happy one.

It also needs to tell why Dawn just disappeared, a story should be better than real life, and instill a sense of completeness.

Not sure why he didn't talk about marriage with her beforehand either, nowadays few propose out of the blue.