All Comments on 'Good Girls'

Poor story line although it showed signs that it could be developed further. Keep trying!

To the author of "ug terrible...", I believe brunorivera IS in his own country. I much doubt if you are (after all it is REDICULOUS for such a bad speller to make such remarks, isn't it? ;-)

I do admire the effort of translating these stories into English. Involving sex is probably a good way to approach learning! But the result seems stilted and non-idiomatic. You might see if there's an editor with whom you could work.

A deeper problem is that while the bare plot might be reasonable, there needs to be more filling out of characters and connecting of scenes.

Good luck!

I think it is a good story even if it is a bit rough around the edges. I think that the translation between languages often leads to works being rough and sounding a bit more formal than they were ment to be.

To the author of "Ug Terrible" He IS in his own country(I think) It is people like you that this world does not need to have in it. Until you have the guts to write your own work then I suggest you keep you fat mouth shut!

This was a sweet story, and I understand your natural problem with speaking Spanish and trying to have an English version of your story.

What you really need is a considerate editor that you trust, who could fix the small errors, and just soften the edges a little. I was a little bit put off by the very clincal use of terms such as 'vaginal fluids' and 'mammary sensitivity' and 'vulva'.. I don't know anyone who talks like that, except maybe a doctor.

Keep writing. :)

...shitty story written by either a foreigner or a man with no concept of how women actually come together. No, I would not go up to my friend and say 'teach me to be lesbic!' ...Please. Another poor concept, poor storyline, worthless characters.. You must develope your story, not jump right into the badly written sex scene. You could probably be a good writer if you spent more time getting to know the characters and the backdrops.