Good on Paper

"Oh, aren't we smug today?" Taryn said.

"No. This isn't smugness. It's...confidence."

"Yeah, well don't start counting your chickens before they hatch!"

He cut his eyes her way, smiled, then said, "There's only one...chick...I'm interested in."

Taryn made a loud, sputtering 'pffft' sound with her lips and said, "Chick? What? Is this 1969 or something?"

"Peace, baby," Luke said as he flashed her the peace sign.

As much as she didn't want to, Taryn couldn't help laughing. And now she was forced to admit he was also very funny as well as handsome.

She took a long look at him while he was watching the boys play and thought, "No. Make that very handsome."

"So when are we getting all wild and crazy and playing Scrabble?" Luke asked.

"I guess we could do that tonight unless you have big plans," Taryn said. "You know, just to get it over with."

"I did have plans, but for Scrabble with my favorite...chick...I suppose I could cancel them," he said while trying not to smile.

"Watch it, buster," Taryn said pretending to be angry.

Her 'tough guy' look softened when she said, "So...tonight?"

"Yeah. That sounds fine," he said. "In fact, that sounds pretty great."

"Okay. I'll just make sure my dad doesn't have a hot date lined up or anything on the way out."

"Oh, right. Yeah, that's a distinct possibility now, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, and it sounds very strange. Strange but somehow oddly very nice."

Matt didn't want to leave after the first game, and although basketball bored Taryn to tears, she stayed and watched another one because her son was having such a good time. She and Luke said very little, but she did get to cheer her son on which made up for not caring what else was going on.

When she got ready to leave, Luke walked with her to go find her dad. Once they did, Edwin told her he was staying.

"We'll come over and play Scrabble with you, but I'm not ready to leave this pretty girl here yet," he told his daughter while making goo-goo eyes at Winifred.

"How are you getting home?"

"Winnie has a car," he told her with a great big smile.

"Ah, I see," Taryn replied as she smiled at her father's new girlfriend. At Winifred's age, 'girlfriend' seemed inappropriate, but the way they were holding hands and carrying on told her it was true.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tonight then. Both of you."

"You better believe it, Tee-Tee!" her father said not caring if that embarrassed her.

Winifred knew that was what her father called her and said, "Don't feel bad, dear. He's already calling me his Pooh Bear for 'Winnie' the Pooh."

"You know you love it, Pooh Bear!" Edwin said as he pulled her close with the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder.

It was pretty obvious 'Winnie his Pooh Bear' did like it as she laid her head on his shoulder after smiling at him.

"Well, okay. Is 8 o'clock okay?" she asked everyone.

"Fine by me," Luke said.

"Can we make it seven?" Edwin asked. "We're not big night owls."

Taryn knew her dad was in bed by 9:30 every night and asked Luke if that was okay.

He smiled too brightly before saying, "Anytime is fine with me...Tee-Tee."

Taryn gave him a death stare, but her father exploded in laughter which caused Matt to laugh along with him and that got Luke going, too.

"Oh, my gosh! You're all insufferable!" Taryn said. "Come on, Matt. Let's get out of here."

She was trying to sound offended, and yet she was secretly very happy he'd called her that. It made no sense and yet it really had been very pleasant.

"Do we have to go, Mom?"

"I'm afraid we do, buddy. But Luke will be at our house tonight so you can see him again then, okay?"

"Sweet!" Matt said as Luke asked for another high five.

"See you later, alligator," Luke told him.

"After while, crocodile!" Matt said back.

Taryn was still amazed at the way things had changed in so short an amount of time. Seeing her father and her son smiling was so wonderful it was hard to explain. And as they walked out, Taryn Nelson was acutely aware of why everyone was so happy.

That afternoon, Taryn started making some plans for what to provide in the way of snacks and drinks, and then she realized she was concerned about what she should wear. And yet, if it really was 'just Scrabble', it shouldn't make any difference. So why then was she mentally running through everything in her closet as though she were getting ready for a job interview?

The snack list was easy. What to wear wasn't. She vacillated back and forth between a simple cotton sundress or jeans and a cute top. It was summer so a sundress made sense, and yet it was just Scrabble and seemed a little much. And yet somewhere around six-thirty, she found herself trying it on and turning back and forth in her full-length mirror before deciding it wasn't really all that much—even just to play Scrabble.

But now that she was wearing a dress, it only seemed logical to freshen up her makeup and brush out her long, silky hair. And how could a pair of white hoop earrings possibly hurt? They couldn't so she replaced the gold pair she'd been wearing all day with them and the way they looked with the simple, white dress with the spaghetti straps pleased her.

At 6:45 the front door opened without warning telling her it was her father who hadn't been to her house unless she brought him since her mom was alive. His booming voice was something else she hadn't heard since then.

"Lucy? I'm ho-ooom!" he called out.

"Hi, Dad!" she said as she greeted him with a hug.

She turned to his date and welcomed her, too, with a slightly smaller hug.

"You have a very nice home, Taryn," Winnie said as she looked around.

Taryn knew it was older and modest, but it was clean and as tastefully decorated as she could afford.

"Thank you, Winif...Winnie," she told her. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, please. But no alcohol. I have to watch my sugar," she said.

"Winnie's a diabetic just like me," Edwin said. "We even use the same doctor? Ain't that a kick?"

Before she could reply, the doorbell rang, and Matt went flying through the living room hollering, "I got it!"

He opened the door and when he saw Luke, Taryn saw him beaming again.

"Hey, dude!" Luke said as they high-fived.

"Come on in!" Matt told him.

"Hey there, young man!" Edwin said.

"Good evening, sir. Ma'am," he said to the older adults.

He was holding some flowers and said to Taryn, "And good evening to you, too, Taryn. These are for you."

Taryn loved carnations and that's what he was holding.

"They're beautiful, Luke," she said. "Thank you. You didn't need to do this, but this was so thoughtful and so...sweet."

She saw her father wink at Luke and say, "See. I told you she likes carnations."

Taryn looked at her dad who was smiling at her then at Luke who shrugged his shoulders and said, "What can I say? I wanted to make a good impression."

Taryn tried to give him a 'look' but couldn't. She took a deep breath through her nose and let the floral scent in, enjoying it fully.

"Well, they are very pretty. Thank you again, Luke," she said.

"I need to put these in some water. Winnie? Would you mind helping me in the kitchen?"

Before she could say 'yes', Luke said, "That's okay. You stay here with your new beau and I'll give Taryn a hand."

Everyone but Matt understood what was going on as Winnie smiled and said, "Well, thank you, dear. That's very kind of you."

Luke followed her into the kitchen and offered to hold the flowers while Taryn looked for a vase—something she rarely used because no one ever gave her flowers. Even her ex-husband hadn't done that since the first year they were married.

"I know what you're trying to do," she said as she reached for a glass vase.

"You do?"

She grabbed it, turned around, then said, "Yes. I do."

He handed her the flowers after she set the vase down and asked with a deadpan face, "Is it working?"

She looked at him then at the flowers then back at him.

"Maybe," she said almost coyly. "I'll let you know."

She smiled ever-so slightly when she said that and Luke smiled back.

"You said the flowers are beautiful, but it's you who's really beautiful, Taryn."

Her reply was supposed to sound tough, but his words had just touched her deep inside her soul as she said, "Don't press your luck, okay? This really is just Scrabble."

"I love the dress, by the way," he said without smiling. "It suits you."

"Oh, this? It's just cheap cotton," she told him even though the dress hadn't been cheap at all.

"Can I help you with anything?" Luke asked.

"Um...you could take out the chips and salsa, and I'll grab the veggie plate," she suggested.

After spending a few minutes getting acquainted, Edwin said, "Let's get this show on the road already!"

"Well, okay then," Taryn said as she set the game on the coffee table.

An hour went by so fast no one was aware what time it was. There had been lots of chatter and even more laughter as people spelled words while others challenged their spelling.

A few minutes later, Taryn was able to spell EMPLOYED using letters on the board and got a bonus for using all seven of her tiles.

"Nice job, Mom!" Matt said.

And then Edwin said, "Speaking of employment, what it is you do exactly, Luke?"

Taryn, who was laughing, stopped and waited for Luke to answer.

"Oh, um, well, I...I help people," he said.

"I know you do. And I'm grateful," Edwin said. "I'm not trying to be nosy, I was just wondering how you pay the bills. I mean, a man's gotta work, right?"

"Not anymore," Winnie said, surprising everyone. "A man can stay home now if he wants to and the woman can work. Right, Taryn?"

"Oh. Um...sure. Of course. I guess that's true," she said feeling very strange at having been put on the spot about that particular, very sensitive issue.

The thought of a man staying home while she worked bothered her, and the fact that it did bothered her even more. She prided herself on being a modern woman and yet she still held onto a lot of traditional values. Like a man opening the door for her or...bringing her flowers. Or things like protecting his wife and children. And yes...having a job.

She felt even worse that Luke had been put on the spot and said with a smile, "That doesn't matter. Let's just play, okay?"

They went back to playing, but things were different after that. The atmosphere was a lot more subdued, and by 9 o'clock, Edwin said it was about time for him—and Winnie—to leave.

Everyone hugged and wished them a good night before they left, leaving Luke there with Taryn and Matt.

"I should probably get going, too," Luke said a minute later.

"No! Don't leave!" Matt said in a pleading kind of way.

"I think I've taken up enough of your mom's time tonight," he said. "But we can do something again early next week. How does that sound?"

Matt was on the verge of crying, and that made Taryn feel like she was about to tear up, as well.

"You really don't need to run off, Luke," she said after fighting off the urge to cry.

"Are you sure? I'm very sensitive to overstaying my welcome."

"You're not," she assured him.

"Mom? Can me and Luke play video games?"

"It's Luke and..."

She let the grammar go and said, "That's up to him, honey. He may not feel like..."

"Are you kidding? Xbox or PS4?" Luke asked.

"PS4!" Matt said. "I have Call of Duty, but my mom doesn't let me play it very often."

She saw the look on her son's face then said, "Well, okay. But just thirty minutes, all right?"

"Sweet! Come on, Luke!"

Luke didn't smile, but he did glance at Taryn as he walked by. She could tell the probing about his job (or lack thereof) had bothered him, and she felt even worse.

As the guys played and made 'war noises', she felt so bad she wasn't quite sure what to say or do, but she felt obligated to say something before he left.

At 9:35, she went in and said, "Okay, war's over for tonight."

"Ah!" Matt said. "My sniper just got extra rounds!"

"Well, then he can use them on the bad guys next time," she said unaware the 'power up' couldn't be carried over.

"Do I have to go to bed?" Matt asked. "It's Saturday and it's summer. Can't I stay up until ten?"

"We could play something a little less gory," Luke suggested for Taryn's sake.

"My mom loves Pac-Man!" Matt said, suddenly excited again.

She looked at Luke and said, "That's true, but not a word about my age!" referring to having been around when the game was popular.

He laughed and surprised her when he said, "I like your age."

And just as when she'd taken that longer look at him in the gym at the Boys Club, or when he'd handed her the flowers, his words touched her somewhere deep inside.

"I guess I could play for a few minutes," she said.

"Sit in between us, Mom!"

Matt stood up and his mom looked at Luke who slid over to make room then tapped the empty seat next to him before she smoothed her dress and sat down.

Matt only had two controllers so they took turns playing with him and his mom going first. He beat her badly so she passed the controls to Luke. When she did, she saw him smiling at her from just inches away, and there was that 'feeling' again.

She looked away the moment he looked into her eyes and said, "See if you can do any better, okay?"

Luke managed to eke out a win, and Matt happily handed his controls to his mom.

As she and Luke battled it out trying to eat the little energy balls on the screen she found herself laughing then shrieking when her Pac-Man got eaten.

"No!!" she cried out when her last life was gone.

"Luke is the champion!" Matt called out when he beat his mom, too.

"That was so much fun!" she said as she set her controller down.

"It was, wasn't it?" Luke said when she looked over at him again.

Her smile faded when that feeling washed over yet again.

Clearly flustered, she tried to cover it up with, "Okay, buddy. Bedtime!"

"Okay," he said without argument.

"Wow. That was easy," she said as Matt stood up to get ready for bed.

"I got to stay up later, and now you and Luke can talk," he said matter of factly.

"I'm sure he needs to be going, buddy. He's probably had enough of us for one night," she said hoping to give Luke an easy out if he wanted to leave.

"I don't think that could happen," Luke replied quietly.

Matt didn't catch the hidden meaning, but Taryn did, and there was that feeling again.

"But I can leave if you're tired of me hanging around," he offered.

"No. Stay here for a while!" Matt insisted without asking his mom if that was okay.

Before she could say anything, he gave his mom a hug then stood there looking at Luke. Taryn knew he wanted to hug his new best friend and mentor but didn't want to say anything.

She didn't have to. Luke stood up and said, "Come here, dude!"

Luke gave him a 'bro hug' and Taryn nearly teared up again when she saw the look on Matt's face. That, too, made her feel like a snobbish...something...for her whole 'looking good on paper' thing.

Once Matt had told them goodnight and left the room, Taryn scooted away from Luke a bit then turned toward him and said, "Luke, I am so sorry about the whole 'job' thing tonight."

"Don't be," he told her. "You know what's important to you, and the truth is, I don't have a job. Not a job that pays money, anyway. So don't beat yourself up for wanting what you want."

She couldn't even look at him when she said, "You know what's funny? I'm not even sure I know what I want anymore."

"Sure you do," Luke said politely. "You want to be happy and to be loved. We all do. It's human nature. We just have different ways of going about finding those things. If this one works for you, then it's no one else's business."

"Yes. I suppose you're right," she said very quietly.

"That didn't sound very convincing," he said trying to be more cheerful.

"Maybe that's because I'm not sure I am right anymore," she said just as quietly and without looking at him.

"How so?" he asked.

She finally looked up at him then said, "I...I don't know. I guess maybe I just feel like I might be missing out on something special, you know? Or rather—someone special by trying to find love with a checklist."

"It does seem a bit sterile," he said with a bit of a smile.

Taryn didn't respond to his comment.

Rather, she said, "I was sitting here tonight trying to imagine my husband staying home while I work, and for the life of me, I couldn't get to the point where that didn't bother me. A lot."

"No, I'm with you completely," Luke said. "I'm all for people making their own personal choices about such things, and if a couple is happy with the man staying home while the woman works—fine. But I could never let a woman support me like that."

He paused, looked right into her eyes then said, "Even if she was the most beautiful and amazing woman I'd ever met."

Taryn's entire body felt that tingly feeling this time.

"Luke?" she heard herself say.

"Yes?"

"I'm...I'm 38."

She looked up at him then added, "Years old," as though he wouldn't understand if she didn't.

"I know," he told her with a smile. "Your dad told me that, too, when I asked him what your favorite flower was."

"So...so why do you keep...looking at me...like that?" she asked, her throat dry and her heart beating quickly.

He smiled then said, "You know why, Taryn. But I can tell you need to hear me say it so..."

He reached over and held out his hand not sure whether or not she'd let him take it. She looked at him, then his hand, and then at him again before raising it up and letting him hold it.

"I really do think you're the most beautiful and amazing woman I've ever met."

She looked into his eyes and saw that he meant every word before she replied.

"Did you not hear me say how old I am?" she asked quietly.

"Did you not hear me say I like your age earlier this evening?"

"That was just being polite," she said. She waited a second then asked, "Right?"

Luke slid a bit closer then took her other hand in his and said, "No. It wasn't being polite. It was being honest, Taryn. When I look at you, I don't see an age or a number. I see this unbelievably beautiful woman. I see this incredibly devoted mother and daughter. I see someone I could...fall in love with."

"Luke. Please," she said. "That's...that's ridiculous. You...you barely even know me. How could you..."

He moved even closer then, looking right into her eyes, said, "I know what I want, too."

Her brain was sizzling and her body was on fire as her eyes darted back and forth with his.

"But I'm...I'm such a...snob," she said very quietly.

She looked down at their hand and said, "I'm a snob. I'm a...job snob."

The silly sound of the rhyme broke the heavy, somber mood and when Taryn made a kind of snorting sound the way people do when they're about to laugh, Luke smiled. When she started laughing, he laughed, too.

When they stopped laughing, Luke put a hand on her cheek and said, "Yes, you're a job snob, but if you could give me the opportunity to show you I'm so much more than a job, you might just find yourself very pleasantly surprised."

She looked back at him as he stared into her eyes, a slight smile on his face, and said, "I suppose I could do that."

Luke didn't say anything so she added, "Give you a chance, that is."

"That's all I'm asking for, Taryn. Just a chance."

Her heart felt like it was going to explode even before he leaned over to kiss her for the first time. When his lips met hers, her entire body was engulfed in that feeling.

Several seconds later, when it ended, Taryn quietly whispered, "I must be losing my mind."

Luke smiled and said, "Or maybe you're giving me your heart."

"I...I'm not sure what's going on here. That's the only thing I know for sure," she whispered.