All Comments on 'Great White Dope'

A story filled with pathos, anger, revenge and humor all in one large 32 oz drink. No doubt ex Mayor Bloomberg would have declared it illegal, immoral and fattening, but I liked it excessively, so your story got five stars.

Fun to read. I liked your 'voice.' Gave it a five.

Her insistence that she "made a mistake" and "they belong together" was grating on my nerves, I mean, she fucked her father in law with her husband passed out on the sofa and she keeps saying it was a mistake? Backing into the garage is a mistake, forgetting to pack toothpaste on a camping trip is a mistake. Fucking your FIL, repeatedly, IS NOT a mistake, it's an affair and that is a choice. And then fucking her cousin from her mothers side? WTF?!? Seriously, WTF?!??!?!!

The point is: even she had to see they were better off divorced and amicable division of assets, after 8 months of seperation, it's not like she really had any emotional bond with him.

I've also heard of TJ Brewer, and this was a great take on that whole mess.

5 Stars.

This is Literotica - the clue is in the name, but there was nothing erotic about your depressing tale.

They should've just gotten a divorce in the begin with and shared custody of the kids. Both made selfish decisions that contributed to the disaster of a marriage. Not at one time did they factor in what was best for the kids first.

Randal was wrong for not letting Ann be a part of the kids lives. He placed their lives in danger just like she did. He is a hypocrite thinking him having full custody was better for the kids. Yes Ann was an idiot for cheating but that had nothing to do with her being a mother unless it was negative on the kids. When the kids find out when they turn 18 it may end badly for Randal since they may blame him for taking their mom from them. Then again they may blame Ann because she cheated and say she destroyed the family.

and Cant....... is being snarky!

You took the hardware and the shelves and buily a very "nice" bookshelf.

Thx!

You're getting very tiresome, why don't you just comment on the story and then go away?

Good to see you back.

If would have seemed more complete to me if he had had one final confrontation with his dad.

After the Jerry Springer show is over, we should just get drunk and fuck MORE relatives! My biggest problem with this story is suspending the disbelief over him becoming an undercover CI able to infiltrate a biker gang. I know not of this T.J. character, but if you had developed more of the undercover part, it might have lent itself to greater realism. I also am not sure why a standard divorce didn't go through. If you mentioned in the story, it was glossed over. If you had developed her character more, it might have helped us to understand why she thought that being such a bitch would help her case. Did she actually say that she still wanted Randall? It seemed more like she was never happy with him. Was he ever happy with her? Developing the romantic background of a couple helps the reader to empathize with the pain of betrayal. He seemed to make some pretty bad choices, and so you would have liked us to give her some emotional leverage throughout the crisis. However, the details you share only serve to illustrate that she never had any respect for him or the marriage, and he was much better served by being rid of her. So much so, that it should have happened even sooner. While I hate the selfish whiny cunt brained bitches that seemed to populate these cheating wife stories, but if she had EVER shed one tear over the destruction of the relationship at her own hands, I missed it. If your goal was to give us a portrait of a piece of garbage masquerading as a women, then you succeeded. But, really cpete, I know you could have given us more of story than that. It could have been an interesting idea, but with an absence of character development, you never brought this past the outline stage. Sorry, but only a 2.

What a great tale. What a fucking cheating skank slut cunt twat bitch whore. There aren't that many great tales coming out any more for some reason, but this keeps me looking. You and cantbuymy are producing great tales. A couple of others also. You know who you are. Please continue.

Hunter Thompson would be proud and a little jealous. TK U MLJ LV NV

Enjoyable but a bit of a skimmer without any intense moments or real character development. Real fun though and I gave it 5.

read something dumb read what the idiot who wrote oh fuck has to say, he wants everything to be perfect in a story written by a person who openly admits he is not an author.

Well done! Burn that bitch!

Enjoyed the read. Good piece of writing.

To many holes make story unbelievable . Screwing the father who hates her. He with no experience in law enforcement going uncover with some bikers,does not even speak their language , so he would have been found out and killed himself.take a average guy and let him live out for 8 months. So much for bullshit. And making her a cheater to boot. And those whole love this cannot see this .

Aries girl has voiced a fair amount of my disquiet. The ' fool on the hill ' narrator didn't work for me. The nine month investigative process that got glossed over shortchanged the cohesiveness of the story. A rank amateur getting drafted into undercover based on a roadside assistance ? It's clear my qualms are in the minority.

I appreciate cpete's ambition because there's an attempted Fellini-esque/ Catch22 surreal vibe that he tries to infect the story with. My bottom line is, however, at no point did I forget I was reading a story. There wasn't any one transcendent scene that grabbed me. There was too much of a Reader's Digest abridged for mouth breathing audience vibe.

My bottom line is that cpete had the nerve & big balls to try to cobble together a Loving Wive's story out of some Ripley strange but true facts. What he didn't have was the time to give a complicated story the credibility that makes it cohesive. This was shock jock morning drive time story telling.

There's nothing wrong with that actually, but this in the end this was just filler bridging the gap between the last great story cpete told & the next one that he hasn't finished. It's just a matter of time though. I'll rate that one at five stars and this one at four . This was the best Loving Wives story of the day, but is not quite the best of cpete.

Excellent story. I like the dialogue. Who cares if there are logical inconsistencies? This is fiction--and pretty good fiction at that. I lift my pen-holding finger at those who disparage this piece. #5.

I'm with Katib, the witty dialogue got the story past the holes. It might have been nice to flesh out the story but it could have turned into a novel! 4*

@ cantbuymy, you may not be stamping your feet and holding your breath but you appear to be sitting in the corner sucking your thumb. Get over it!

One, that of the guy being a semi consensual undercover agent. I can sort of believe it...but I would have liked to be SHOWN, not told. That being said, it is an intimidating piece of writing to undertake. This is not a disparagement. As Clint said "a man ought to know his limits".

The second twist was of the fait accompli Witsec 'divorce'. And the same critique is there: I would have liked to read about how this made things different. Everything else, except for Daddy Dearest was pretty vanilla.

And honestly, one of the glaring plot holes is that of the wife. She stayed! Everyone knows her...hell, everyone is RELATED to her. All these big bad men looking for her husband are going to stop by for afternoon tea and discuss things with her very very soon. I wonder why he wasted his time with a divorce. She is not long for this world! And he is an idiot if he sends his kids back there at any age.

Overall, I liked the story.

I'm referring to that afterword you added to attempt to give your story some credibility and believability it did not deserve. It was untrue, and I 1-starred you for that on a story I actually enjoyed, because I don't like being lied to.

See, there's a certain expectation of suspension of disbelief and bullshit that goes on in story telling. We accept it; and fact is, that pseudo-incestuous crap like this happens in IRL, so it's not completely left-field.

However, you went on to lie and claim that TJ Brewer's circumstances were similar.

1. Randal is an accountant. TJ Brewer was cop.

1a. Randal endangered his family while working undercover. TJ did his job right.

2. Randal fired a gun in the house with his kids. TJ Brewer beat the shit out of Dad.

3. Randal's dad did nothing. TJ Brewer's dad went home and attempted suicide.

4. Randal did nothing to dad. TJ Brewer went to the hospital to kill dad.

5. Randal was arrested. TJ Brewer was arrested. OH SHIT EXACTLY ALIKE.

6. Randal threatens his wife in front of the cops. TJ Brewer does the same.

7. Randal is released, despite threats. TJ Brewer gets a host of charges.

8. Cops and feds jerk each other off for hero Rand. TJ Brewer goes on trial.

9. Cops let a known drug-dealer felon go free. TJ Brewer is convicted.

11 .Cops/feds conspire to kidnap kids. TJ Brewer gets visitation w/ supervision.

12. Randal gets free federal handouts. TJ Brewer loses his job.

13, Randal replaces slut with mafia whore. TJ Brewer gets restraining order.

14 .Randal's kids get a whore mother. TJ Brewer's kids get a slut mother.

In short, don't lie. It just makes you look like a cunt trying to cheat his way into credibility. Kind of like your character Ann.

As far as your story goes, it wasn't bad, if terribly forced. I'm sorry, but you're just breaking credibility when suddenly every single cop and fed is part of a brotherhood that hates women for being cheating whores and are willing to engage in a massive law-breaking conspiracy just so he can get sole custody? Not only is that a shit thing to do to the kids, it's fucking criminal. I get that there are a lot of authors on here that see the "kids" as not actually being real people, and nothing more than an opportunity to use as a weapon against the whore wife, so I'll overlook it.

Your story was good enough to earn a four. You get the one for lying.

it was a good tale but could have been longer. then again with little sex

in the tale it may not of worked at literotica. there was no 10 inch make

believe dreamer in the tale thank you. the women was stupid acting.

When the great cpete writes listen up!! What a story for you shellbacks...read Blood from a Turnip.. both versions....see what this talented person writes about..cpete when you write we read

its a work of fiction and the facts and believability are so wrong, yet so many of you like it? I do not get it at all.

just for the knucklehead (looking at you Anon. 11/09/13) who trashed you about lying in your epilog. When I googled T. J. Brewer, the first article I pulled up told of a Utah deputy who assaulted his father when "he found his wife riding his dad in his kid's bed." Sounds like similar circumstances to me.

The real story was everything that happened off screen. Write it again from her POV and maybe it's decent. You write well, but this is not an interesting story

You really are getting tiresome. You've become the new Dwormcock.

Write your own stories. Collect your own comments. Leave everyone else out of it. Okay? Nobody likes an attention whore.

5* to a master story teller, cpete. Just fun to read. That's why most of us are here.

that shit he submits is huecuck level, cantbuy a red H, so he squeals in the comment section of good writers - most pathetic fucking thing ever.

HI cpete, I enjoyed your story. I loved the subtle humor throughout and smiled my away through wondering how it would end.

Looking forward to your next story. Thank you for sharing this.

I figure at least two divorces from that mess. Only federal witness protection will not be a part of that story.

Nice story, gave you 5

I liked it...not typical, which is a good change.

Enjoyed it overall. I agree with a few comments that it would have been better to show instead of tell. Showing us his undercover work, and the divorce proceedings would have been better. I also would have liked the ending to have more substance. It was a slam bam ending IMHO. I would have liked to read more about his Russian companion. Did they marry, have kids, etc.

More on his father, and Ann's life too after his departure, what happened, what went through their minds. Loved the sandpaper analogy too.

You threw us many "bones", and left us hanging somewhat. Kudos for finishing it, I am grateful for that. Just felt a little untidy.

Compared to a lot of LW writers, outstanding job,well done, clever, and a great read

this criticism is intended to be constructive.

5 stars

Coming home from overseas, having caught a bullet for your country, and find your wife pregnant with your brother's child. Then during he divorce try and claim that the husband kept coming back to fuck that skanky cunt and got her pregnant. Have her use her excellent blow job skills with her once lover the ADA, to use his police and military career against him in court. Because you know cops and military people are just trained killers and irresponsible parents. I mean it was my...err his choice to be sent on all those missions in the military. He could have said no!

I agree this was a bit of a flash story, but good all the same. Knowing me, like I can ever write a short story, I'd made it a bit longer and filled in a few more details.

Keep up the good words

Myhands316

I enjoyed reading your story.

Ann's character was two-dimensional, a straw horse to beat at will. But the story was fun to read anyway.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but it was too short.

I would have enjoyed a little of the "undercover" experience, which would have been a wonderful opportunity for some gratuitous sex and violence. Never pass up the opportunity for some gratuitous sex and violence, I always say!

Definitely a change-up from the usual fare, and a damn fine read as well.

I know DEA, FBI and IRS at all..........

Good story 5*****.

Thanks for the good read.

one says GVreat and one says fun - when in doubt listen to the Full Cuckold and not the nonce... fun it is!

@ Anon your bi cuckold husband and hot wife pair moved to other city so you are such bull whose is not any bisex cuckold who licks your cock, so you are frustrated and injuries other posters............

Five stars. An enjoyable read.

One experience in my life taught me that cops will gladly sacrifice anyone to get what they want.

Sending an inexperienced person into a situation like that is a good way to get someone killed, of course to our friends the police, that just means even MORE possible charges.

Well written, thanks,

MGM

In real life, the grand-dad tried to kill himself when caught. Husband pleaded guilty to misdemeanors and got probation. I assume that the couple divorced but don't know who got the kids. Did the wife stay in the small town where everyone would know that she fucked her father in law in the room next to her kids and with her husband downstairs? In this case, reality is more interesting than fiction. Thanks for trying. 4 stars

for posting a story in which the husband was not a wimpy cuck. Haven't been too many of those on LW lately. 5*****

Hey Ironman is a better choice than Richard Simmons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worth a 5 from me!

You heard banjos playing...

I hear violins...

A 6 foot 4 in wussy.... my goodness man grow a set of balls and put your big boy pants on and get over it!!! It was only sex...

All this energy wasted on revenge... how pitiful

Who make it hard for those of who believe honesty and integrity matter. Getting over it is not, and should not, be the solution by one party for the bad behavior of the other.

She truly believes in a double standard. She offers him the opportunity to have outside sex to make it even. But, it was ok for her to seek comfort in the arms of his father and her cousin, while her family members are off limits.

but my favorite is certainly the one about iron man ... big chuckle out of that one!

Thanks for the ready

Aren't you that billy goat chaser? Good god man, stop suckling Full Cuckold's tits and fondling the ped0's marbles - go back to chasing billy goats in Albania!

It is rare to read a story this well put together. Most are willing cuck stories, boring and unrealistic. Who wants to see their wife having a better time without them! This had tension and unexpected turns, something that makes a story multi-dimensional.

The wife was stupid as in most cheating wives stories. She was selfish in wanting to fuck her father-in-law even if Hubby was there. Should she still get a fuck just because Hubby passed out? She can't wait one more night? That is selfish. If it weren't for selfish and stupid there would be a whole lot less cheating.

You had many clever sayings in this story, "Even the Devil believes in God! "was the best! Please keep writing!!! *****

One of those 'everything falls almost magically in place for the hero' stories, but they can be fun. There were some legitimately hilarious moments in the story. My favorite was when Ann asked TBone the difference between him and the criminals. The irony of his answer was spectacular.

I kept thinking that somehow you were going to qualify a reunion of these two!

Thanks for NOT putting them back together. I don't think she was an out and out slut/cheater but definitely an excuse user when circumstances made extramarital coupling a convenient and needed release...too bad!

Thanks again!!!

For the read.

You are right they both did make selfish decisions. He shouldn't have been playing cop, he should have been home taking care of his family. Of course, he wasn't violating the terms of his marriage, he was just wrapped up in something he shouldn't have been involved in. She on the other hand was violating the terms of the marriage. When she did so, that contract was null and void. As far as who is best for the kids, she loses that one too. Not just because she cheated on her husband, but because she cheated on her kids too. She destroyed the marriage which is the foundation of the children's home. He did not have anything to do with that. Worse, she was fucking the old man in the kids house, in the kids bed! That is enough reason to lose custody right there! So, no there cannot be a simple civilized divorce where they share custody and get together on holidays! She didn't want one anyway! More than that, she would have gotten the kids, in fact she had the kids when she brought the biker home to fuck! She is not only stupid, but deranged as well. (In fairness to the ladies in these stories on this site, most of the female cheaters are both stupid and crazy! It makes me wonder why the husbands are so upset about them cheating, they need to get rid of them anyway!)

On the third day (in jail?) he was ushered somewhere and Dad was in the hospital, but he hadn't seen his kids for eight months???? Still way too many errors, especially with an editor's help. (Picky? I guess.) NOT one of cpete's better stories.

"When I hear you speak Ann, all I can hear are banjos, and all I can think is `Paddle faster`.... Classic!

so, cpete, was this story originally a dramatization of those news articles? let me guess, your editor returned it saying to tone it down to something more believable! truth is stranger than fiction. i like how tj's stepmom got away clean with stabbing dad.

If she’s so fucking “sorry”, why is she restraining him from his kids?

Maybe, MAYBE you could excuse the first time as a drunken, lonely mistake. But as soon as things even BEGAN to look like a repeat occurrence she should have walked away! And then doing it AGAIN when he was back!

"A mistake! A single stupid error in judgment, never to be repeated”

Um, it was already repeated at least TWICE, and where does she get off limiting who he can get his revenge fucks with?

I read about this T.J. Brewer fellow and somehow I'm surprised that stories like this aren't really all that unbelievable.

So hard to remember that you can't over-estimate the human capacity for selfishness, stupidity or shortsighted behavior.

fucking BORING. how I hate stories where the cheating wife is just hopelessly retarded. which happens in many of yours.

oh and you should know that "women" is not the same as "woman".

“T Bone was true to his word about getting me to see my kids, even if Ann was not, as the restraining order was still in place.” – Why is there a restraining order keeping him from his kids? It was his wife and father that he threatened! And she wants forgiveness, but is still trying to keep him from his kids?

And having US Federal Marshals involved REINFORCES her objections? It should ALLEVIATE them!

“it just felt so nice to finally have someone understand what I was going through." What SHE’S going through?!

I know a woman who after having a child by her husband, began an affair with his dad. She divorced her husband, moved in with and married her father-in-law and had a son by him. Father-in-law then divorced her and she went back to the son. He eventually kicked her out.

There are also four brothers who all work on offshore and out of state oil rigs. All four brothers have had sex with all four women. And their father has had sex with all four of his sons' wives. All four wives have children. Who are the fathers? Who knows?

Another woman is married to a friend of mine. She has three children; but none of them are from her husband. She has one each from three of his four brothers. And the word around town is that she has occupied her father-in-law's bed on many occasions.

So, you see, it happens more often than you might think

'I know a woman...' and ' I've heard...' rank right up there with 'UFO's land on the Whitehouse lawn' and 'I got pregnant by Bigfoot' as ignorance passed off as reality.

Here we have another slut wife passing of her fuck sessions with the old man as 'a mistake that we can get passed' and ' It didn't mean anything'. Funny how when he mentioned fucking her sister or her mom, the slut got all up in his face about him cheating on her. Screw her. I'd fuck both of them and make her watch. Getting them pregnant would be a bonus.

This fag couldn't get Rosie to fuck him. or, Hillary! I gave this a 5 to offset this fool's 1 vote

What was it that that one commenter called it in other authors' works?

Martian Slut Ray

A normal caring loving mother and wife just out of the blue get hit with the ray and turn into a selfish disrespectful dishonoring cheating cunt.

Either makes it comical in being so ridiculous or turns it trite and boring.

Positive was that it was short.

or have the patience to wait for the decision/ TK U MLJ LV NV

I haven't commented. I know it wasn't deleted unless the author doesn't like praise for his writing. I can see the behavior of the wife and the father as sort of making sense. They already had a bond in the husband and the son and also the grandkids so it wasn't that much of a stretch. What I don't understand is the why of it all. Why would she do it in her husband's house with his father? Why would they do it on the very night he returned? Why do they all blame loneliness, booze and fear of whatever, on the cheating? And swear they will never do it again. If the husband being around was the only reason she chose not to stray before, now that the ice was broken on the cheating, how could he trust that she wouldn't do it again? After all, she did it in the house while he was there, in her son's room and in his bed, even though he had not been with her for many months and probably could use some relief himself. After that last little stunt how could he every trust her again?

Damn the writing was good, got right into the middle of this tale, rode the crest of the emotions to the shore.

I remember the Brewer story so this isn't much of a stretch. Fun read.

Um, it's "Pay it forward", the reverse of pay it back. Where "pay it back" means paying someone back for a good they did to you, "pay it forward" means doing a good deed for someone you may not even know. It can be totally spontaneous, or a response to a good someone else did for you.

“even if Ann was not, as the restraining order was still in place” – I thought she was having it lifted?

“You divorce me and I will do everything in my power to keep your kids from you” – So, she LOVES him, but will do everything in her power to keep the kids from him, Good thing she doesn’t hate him!

“Turns out he is a cousin from my Mom's side.” – LOL, REAL incest this time!

Your commenters are the same folks talking about the story like it's real life. I don't understand cases your thinking in satuations where cases overlaps federal marshals

Aregiven a wide berth. (Fictional stories) Arnold Swiniger Vanessa Williams, the cookie mobster. So make look real her actions was so out of what you started herout as. His dad called her a boreing square, then his dad turns into a freak and screws his sons wife and she lets it happen. I'm sorry I have to throw the bullshit flag.

The only save rewrite the whole story and use some character development before you write and get an editor.

An Editor maybe required, this story is missing flow or matching of the description of the characters. A lot can be over looked in a story but don't treat us as dummies.

A rule of thumb that in my experience holds true:. If you are an ass or a bitch when you are drunk then you are an ass or a bitch sober, but with a filter that hides it.

Drinking lowers inhibitions therefore your filter go away. So in other words Ann was always a wack job.

good one 5*

and isn't that what it's all about? 5*

TALK ABOUT KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY, I MYSELF USED TO INDULGE IN A BIT OF OLD PECULIAR WHICH WAS QUITE MATURE AND POTENT ( until the pub stoped selling the brew) , GREAT STORY AS USUAL,JUST 5⭐️.

I looked up the real life story you mentioned as the inspiration for this tale, gave me the creeps. I'm now allergic to canoes.

Truely fucked up

That was a whole new level of fucked up, but what a damned good story. Loved it.

Good story enjoyed

The blurb in the story about the smartest guy in the world or in the room caused me to think of cpete. While he may not be the smartest guy in the world or even in the room, he has a very clever brain to conjure up the convoluted scenarios in the story. Furthermore, one story does not drain his brain -- he keeps conjuring, story after story.

Added to that is his so engaging (and sometimes witty) writing style that is a pleasure to read.

It all adds up to make cpete one of an elite few writers who are on Literotica's topmost shelf.

Paul in Oklahoma

Ann looked at T Bone. "My own Government is trying to steal my children. What's the difference between you and them? Huh, what is the difference?"

T Bone cleared his throat. "Those people (biker gang) are greedy men, who have no feeling or respect for anyone or anything. They will destroy anything that gets in their way to get what they want." T Bone took a step forward before continuing. "WE work for the United States Federal Government."

lol

This story must be set in Arkansas. Their state motto is incest is best. LOL

In law incest? Where is this place at? Arkansas?

Loved this story. Slut loves her relatives!!! Great ending. 5 stars!!!

Amazing that this story has a basis in fact. A great tale, you have a fantastic imagination and a distinct way with words. Well done, scores 5/5

I was in my first enlistment. My shop chief was from Western Mass. Years earlier he was married to his first wife and had two boys; when he got orders to Kunsan AB Korea for 12 months. His wife went to stay with his parents while he was gone. When he came home at mid-tour he knew something was off. When he came home after 12 mos he was served. Turns out his father and wife "fell in love" while he was off serving his country. His dad divorced his mom, she divorced him and they got married. So his exwife became his step mom, his kids became his step-brothers...he drank a lot as I recall. This happened back in the late 70s early 80s. His boys would be in their mid-40s today. Enjoyed rereading this one, I liked how CPETE finds strange headlines and weaves them into his stories.

It's one thing when a husband or wife betrays their spouse but to intentionally hurt your child? That's treachery. There can be no forgiveness at all. I cannot imagine harming my daughter in such a manner. One would have to be a total narcissist and likely a sociopath to override the biological imperative of placing your child first. My gods

Pretty different from the usual Cpete story, but it's a pretty good story.

I would have liked a showdown with his father at the end

One MORE LitRot story giving credence to the concept of returning infidelity to the reasons for justifiable homicide.

LOL best part was doing a Google search on TJ Brewer. What a family !!!!!!

hard to beleive a father and his sons wife would do that, talk about unredeemable sewer dwelling scum. wont insult rednecks or west virginia mnt kin by comparing them. pretty despicable, having those 2 family members betray you would totally exonerate you in france as crimes of justifiable passion.

Out of the sinful mind come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual sins, thefts, false testimonies,....

Kudos t a very clever author who has written an excellent story. I you enjoy action and adventure.. It is a 5

It is too bad that all real life stories like this do not have this kind of good ending.

What hypocrites are Ann and her lover who are proud of Randal's service but no thought of respect and love for him.

Ok after the first time Ann should have kicked his Dad out of the house and let him visit the kids in a public place. If she horny and had to cheat on Randal why didn't she pick anybody but his Father?

She could have entered WITSEC with him and shared custody of the kids with him.

No she wanted to force him to accept her cheating - not much remorse on her part by using the kids.

Excellent story!

Yuchhh. What an unpleasant experience. Fortunately I can quickly skim junk like this although I should have just dumped it on page one. Terrible plot, worse characters. 2*

Cpete the marvelous. I have read this several times and it never gets old. It is hilarious, entertaining, shocking and everything you expect to find in a story from this legend. All the stars, Randi.